Will let out a groan, and I pulled back, my hands falling along his upper arms as I said, “Sorry. I forgot.” Plus, it was probably stupid to embrace Will like that in front of his brother, who just looked on.
Travis, though…Travis didn’t look happy. Then again, Travis hardly ever looked happy. I didn’t think he’d truly be happy until Ray was gone. Whatever family business his family had, it definitely dealt in the underbelly of the law, maybe even in illegal things. How else could this Markus come and help him take care of Ray?
“You look good,” Will said, giving me a kind smile that made my insides twist. “Better than good, Ash. You always do.”
“Careful,” Sawyer spoke loudly in the kitchen, scraping his fork against his empty plate for attention, “or this threesome might just turn into a foursome.” Oh, if I was beside him right now, I would’ve punched him for that.
Will’s brows came together. “What?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Declan muttered. “Sawyer’s just bitter that we’re getting him clean and sober. He’s been miserable all week.”
“Yeah,” Will spoke, venturing into the living room. “Although to be honest, he always has been miserable—you were just too close to him to see it.” He sat on the last cushion on the couch, the furthest he could possibly be from Travis, who still only glared at him. “Hey, Travis. Long time no see.”
There was a tangible tension steadily rising in the room, and I coughed, causing Travis to look at me. He must’ve sensed what I was trying to say, for he frowned as he got up, reaching into his pocket. “I need a smoke.” He said nothing else as he went out in the back.
“Fun guy,” Will muttered, though his lips grinned when I moved next to him. Declan sat on my other side as Will’s arms stretched out, lying across the back cushion and brushing against my shoulders. “So, besides all this wild ex stuff, what have you crazy kids been up to?”
Crazy kids. Like we were years younger than him. He was only twenty-one, so he wasn’t that much older than me, and merely two years older than Declan. If Declan and I were kids, he was one, too.
“On that note, since I’m sure the living room will turn into some weird almost-incest situation in a few minutes, I’m going to go upstairs and hate my life up there so I don’t have to see it,” Sawyer spoke seriously, giving us all a half-smirk before getting up. He left his plate for one of us to clean up too, the bastard.
Will watched him go, while Declan was busy trying to look away and pretend his cheeks were not flaming red. “What the hell was he talking about?” Will asked, looking right at me. The arm behind me toyed with my bare shoulder, and I regretted my choice of tank top. I should’ve put more on. More clothes to separate me from Will, to stop me from feeling his warmth inside me.
“Sawyer is…” I trailed off, not knowing how to describe him.
“I get it,” Will said, nodding once. “What I don’t get is why you’re all here. Why it matters what Sawyer’s doing to mess up his life.” His hazel eyes flicked to his brother across me. “You do remember how much of a living hell he’s made your life for the last year, right? Something like that…you can’t just forgive.”
Declan ran a hand down his face, still a bit red from Sawyer’s comments. “I haven’t forgiven him. I just…” When he quieted, I looked at him, hard, and I wondered if he’d told Will about us. About our…unconventional relationship, whatever this was. It wasn’t a happy-go-lucky thing like that girl at Stanton had with her guys, but it was something.
At this point, I’d take it. I’d take just about anything. And besides, the ones who stood by each other in the face of a serial killer stalker ex were the ones who stayed together no matter what. I might be twisting the saying, but the same logic was there.
Because I could tell no one wanted to talk about Sawyer, I said, “How are you feeling? Healing up well?”
“Still sore, but the doctors said that could last for months. I am making it a point to do my daily stretches.” Will’s gaze moved to me, and I felt my stomach do a few strange flips. It would seem that my greedy body wasn’t quite filled with what I had. You’d think, with everything that was going on, getting laid would be the last thing on my mind, but then again…if this was the road that would lead to the end of my life, why not have a little fun before it was over for good?
Okay, with that thought roaming around my head, I was bound to get certain other thoughts.
I was so lost in my own head that I didn’t even notice when Will looked at Declan and asked, “Do you think I could talk to Ash alone for a bit?” Hopeful and stern, the tone a big brother should probably not take when asking to be alone with his younger brother’s girlfriend.
Girlfriend. Was that what I was? We never…well, we never discussed labels, and I’d been fine with it. When you put a label on something, you defined it. You gave it limits. You said, without strictly saying, what it could do and what it couldn’t do.
There were many things Declan could’ve said in that moment. He could’ve denied Will, could’ve told him to fuck off—which, okay, would never happen because the two brothers seemed to care a lot for each other—or he could’ve asked why. I had no idea why Will wanted me alone, though I did have some suspicions about it, but I remained quiet, not wanting to butt in where I shouldn’t.
Getting between two brothers was not something I’d ever thought I’d enjoy, but now that my mind was completely in the gutter, I realized it would be one hell of a sexy sandwich. Even if, like Sawyer said, it would be borderline incest.
It was only incest if the dicks touched, wasn’t it? Maybe that was just me being hopeful.
Declan didn’t even hesitate to get up as he said, “Sure. I’ll…” His dark eyes flicked to the stairwell, and I knew the last thing he wanted to do was go upstairs and spend any time with Sawyer. “I’ll be outside with Travis.”
Wow. With Travis. Those two…really did bond over my downward spiral, huh? At least it was good for something. Me? I could’ve gone without losing myself to my ex or, you know, sleeping with him.
Yeah. If there was one thing I could take back, that would be the one.
Will watched in silence as Declan meandered to the kitchen and exited the house through the patio doors, and once we were alone, he turned his face to me. A slow grin spread across his face as he studied me. This time, when he stared at me, the gesture felt more intimate, like he could see me without my clothes on. Like he knew, somehow, just where my mind was.
In the gutter. It was still very much in the gutter for those of you wondering. I doubted it would leave anytime soon. The gutter would be its permanent residence, its home. The gutter was where my mind belonged with all of these fine dicks around me.
Guys. I meant fine guys, not dicks. Although the dick thing would still apply.
The arm resting behind me on the couch fell to my shoulder, and his fingertips grazed my bare skin, sending a shiver down my spine. “How are you doing?” When I only looked at him, he added, “I mean, really.”
My gaze fell to my lap, and though it was something I didn’t want to talk about, I found myself answering him anyway. There was something about Will that made me want to be an open book; it was impossible to keep the older brother at arm’s length, not when he was so sincere. Just like Declan, in that respect.
I said two words I shouldn’t have, but they were the truth: “I’m scared.” I hadn’t spoken of my anxieties to Travis or Declan, mostly because they seemed so sure of themselves. Or, rather, sure of Travis and his weird family ties. But me? I wasn’t as confident. There was no telling that Ray would wait a month. He might decide a month was too long and try to snatch me, this time kidnap me instead of merely asking me to go with him.
A man like that…you couldn’t really predict where his mind would go when you took away the one thing he craved above all else in this world. Me.
The hand touching my shoulder became firmer, and before I knew what he was doing, he pulled me against him, careful to cr
adle me on the side of his body that hadn’t been stabbed. His arms wrapped around me, and I sank into his chest, smelling him, practically melting into him.
“Don’t be,” Will murmured, resting his cheek against the top of my head. He’d turned his body so that we both sort of laid on the couch, his back against the pillows and me on him. “You have a whole house of guys ready to do anything to protect you.”
I said nothing. No defense would ever be enough to beat Ray. No, we’d need to go on the offense, and I hated relying on outside help to do it. Travis might’ve grown up with his family, with Markus, but I didn’t know him, so tell me how the hell I should trust him to help take care of our serial killer problem?
Finally, I muttered against his chest, “I wish I was as confident as you.”
“You don’t have to be,” he told me, his voice falling onto my ears like honey. Smooth, warm, utterly delicious. Was his voice always so sultry and inviting, or was that just me and my eager beaver of a body? “It’s obvious they have your back, and if all else fails, I have your back, too.”
I closed my eyes, wishing I could believe that everything was going to be fine. I’d told Sawyer that before, but just because I told him didn’t mean I believed it.
“If I’m honest, though,” Will went on, “I wish I had more than that.”
Tilting my head up, I met his eyes. The way he stared down at me just now…it made my stomach clench and an even lower part of me heat up in anticipation. I could only describe it with one word: hungry.
William Briggs wanted me, too.
It wasn’t a surprise, considering our impromptu make-out session practically right after we met. I knew we had a connection, and knowing he’d gotten hurt because of me only made me feel worse. I cared so much more for this man than I should, considering I was with his brother, and with Travis.
I slowly propped myself up, meeting his eyes. Our faces were less than six inches apart, and yet the distance still felt like too much. Too much space. Far too much space when those lips could be on mine, helping me to forget everything going on outside. “Will…” I probably sounded ridiculous, saying his name with so much longing, but I didn’t know how else to say it.
Will was Will, and I was helpless in trying not to feel for him.
He must’ve had the opposite impression for he gave me a gentle smile and helped me sit up, no longer leaning against him. No longer smelling him. No longer six inches away from those tempting lips. “It’s okay,” he said. “Declan deserves to be happy again. I’m more than willing to step aside.”
Happy to step aside and let his brother have me. Those two…I had a thought once that they would both trip over their own feet to be nice to the other and let the other have me, and right now, it was a flashback to that moment.
Declan said he was going to fight for me; I wanted Will to fight for me, too.
“Will,” I whispered his name, my heart tugging in my chest with a longing I couldn’t fill. Not now, not yet. I…if anything were to happen between Will and me, I’d have to make sure they were okay with it, especially Declan. I thought about telling him that I didn’t want him to step aside, but I didn’t want to create a rift between the two brothers, so all I said next was, “I’ve missed you.”
“You won’t have to miss me much longer. In a little over two months I’ll be a Hillcrest student myself, and then you’ll see lots of me.”
Oh. Oh yeah. With all the shit going on, I’d totally forgotten that Will was transferring.
Damn.
Assuming I lived through this shit with Ray, I was going to be in so much trouble.
Chapter Sixteen – Will
Sawyer’s house had plenty of extra space for me—which was a good thing, because he and I…well, let’s just say I still hated him for the things he’d done and said to Declan, what he got other students to do. He made my brother’s life a living hell, so I found it insanely odd that Declan was back with Travis and they were both trying to help Sawyer get clean. Honestly? The bastard didn’t deserve any help.
But you know what else was weird? Whatever was going on with Declan, Travis, and Ash. I tried not to pay attention, but the energy between them had changed. They acted differently around each other. Plus, with what Sawyer said when I arrived, it was impossible not to notice the subtle differences.
Later that night I found out why that was. Declan and Travis were with Ash.
Yes, you read that right. Declan and Travis.
They were…sharing her, or something? In some kind of threesome, thruple, whatever it was called. I didn’t know the details, mostly because, when Declan found me in the guest room I’d be sleeping in and told me about it, I didn’t know what to say. A part of me was shocked that Declan would be okay with it, and the other part of me was…curious.
Curious because I loved that girl, too.
But sharing her with Declan was worlds different than sharing her with Travis. I didn’t like Travis. There was something about him I didn’t trust, something dark and sinister, and the more he brought up this Markus that was supposed to help them with Ray the more I suspected his family’s business wasn’t exactly legitimate.
I stood near the door, my arms crossed. It was closed, giving us some semblance of privacy in a house that I never thought I’d be in. Not again. I’d gone with Ash to one of Sawyer’s parties, but that was it. My involvement in all of this was Ash, and my brother. That’s it. Sawyer and Travis could fall off the face of the world and I wouldn’t be able to care less.
Declan sat on the edge of the bed, staring at me with those dark, nearly black eyes. In spite of the whole psycho ex thing that was going on, he looked good. He looked like he was taking care of himself, which was all I could ask for. If he was truly happy sharing Ash with Travis, then I guess I couldn’t judge him.
As long as my little brother was happy, I was happy for him.
A teensy, weensy bit jealous, but who wouldn’t be? Ash was…well, she was perfect. Indescribable. Unique in every way. There really hadn't ever been another girl like her in my life, or in Declan’s.
Hell. I couldn’t even blame that Ray Ruiz for being so obsessed with her. Weren’t we all? We just had more sane ways of showing it.
“Well?” Declan eventually said, breaking the silence of the room. Ash and Travis were downstairs; I didn’t want to think about what they were getting into on their own. Sawyer was in his room on the second floor, being miserable and letting everyone know it. “Aren’t you going to say something?”
He’d just explained everything that was going on between him, Travis, and Ash, and he expected me to have something to say about it. I did, I had a lot to say, but I didn’t know whether or not anything I had to say would be what he expected to hear.
“What do you want me to say?” I asked, figuring I’d play the safe route first. The last thing I wanted was for it to look like I was trying to butt in or take Ash from him. He was my brother; I cared about him more than life itself.
He sighed. “I want you to tell me if you think I’m making a mistake.”
“Declan, as long as you’re happy,” I started, stopping when he nodded.
“I am happy. I just…” He stood up, starting to pace the room in front of me. “I’m worried, I guess. I mean, what can I offer her? Travis is the one who has the ins and outs when it comes to…” Declan stopped, running a hand through his brown hair. “His family. He is the one who could protect her, not me. What could I really do for her?”
I didn’t want to comment about Travis and his family, so I simply said, “You could love her.” Love was a powerful force. It made people do some crazy things. I knew it; I knew it perhaps even more so than Declan did.
The things I knew…the secrets I kept from him would upset him. His life would never be the same if he knew the truth.
No. I would protect Declan for as long as I could. He was the only family I had left. Dad—Dad was a laughable parent.
“And what if love isn’t enough?
” Declan asked, turning his brown gaze to me. He stopped pacing in front of me. “You…I’m not blind, Will. I see the way you look at her. I’ve seen it from that first week you spent here with us. I know you care for her, too.”
I practically stared into his soul, wanting him to believe me when I said, “I would never do anything to hurt you.”
“I know that, and I’m not saying…” Declan let out a loud sigh. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
I kept quiet, not knowing what he was trying to say.
“It goes both ways,” he said. “She looks at you the same way. She practically jumped you when you got here. Ash likes you, too. It’s not a one-way street.” Declan closed his eyes for a moment, trying to hide the fact that he was rolling his eyes. “Travis noticed it too, which was why he had to chain smoke like an addict for a half-hour straight. If it were up to him, I think he’d have Ash all to himself, but he knows that she’s…”
“She’s Ash,” I said, that time knowing what he meant.
“Yes, she’s Ash. She’s Ash, and he wants her to be happy. So do I.”
“And she will be, once her ex is out of the picture—”
Declan stopped me by glaring. It wasn’t a real glare, more of an exasperated, incredulous stare. “You really don’t know where I’m trying to go with this, do you?” He moved in front of me, only a few inches shorter than me. “Ash likes you. You like her. I love you both and want you both to be happy. Maybe it’s because I’ve already seen her with Travis, but—”
Now it was my turn to interrupt, “You’re saying…” It was nearly impossible for me to say what I said next, mostly because I couldn’t believe it. After what happened with Sabrina, sharing a girl with anyone, let alone Travis, should be Declan’s last thought. “You’re saying you’re okay with me and her being together?”
Oh, if Declan knew the truth, I couldn’t help but wonder if his feelings about it would change. Those he trusted perhaps shouldn’t be trusted.
Psycho: A Dark College Romance (Hillcrest University Book 4) Page 12
