Dad. I was talking about Dad, but his time would come soon enough. That man…he walked a tightrope, only he didn’t know it. A tightrope a thousand feet in the air with no restraints, no cables keeping him safe. No parachute in case he fell.
And he would fall—mark my words. He would fall, the truth would come out, and his sterling reputation wouldn’t be so sterling after all.
“I’m saying I don’t want you to play the brooding hero and keep yourself away from her because you’re worried about me,” Declan said. “I’m fine. I’ll be even better once we don’t have to keep looking over our shoulders for Ray.”
I wanted to make a comment about that, how on earth one of Travis’s brothers could possibly help this situation, but I didn’t want to dig up the dirt, not when Declan was trying to be good. No, not good. Happy. Sane.
I would do anything and everything to keep Declan as happy as he was now, serial killer aside.
Later that night, Ash brought me some extra towels. I was in the bathroom across the hall from the room I’d be sleeping in, having just finished brushing my teeth. The bathroom already had a towel hanging, but I didn’t know whether or not I trusted it. This was Sawyer’s house, after all.
“We did laundry yesterday,” Ash said, offering me the bundle of towels. “These are clean.”
Two body towels and two washcloths, which I set on the vanity beside me before turning and giving her a smile. “Thank you,” I said, watching her a bit more closely now, after that talk with Declan. Though that talk had ended nearly two hours ago, it was impossible not to obsess over it.
I had no clue whether Declan was truthful in what he said or not, if he was simply trying to step aside and let me at Ash because he knew I liked her. We were alike in that way; it’s why I always did my best to protect him. Soon enough he’d see.
“Declan said he talked to you,” Ash whispered, tilting her head up at me. Her blonde hair was so light that it was nearly white, its pink-tipped tendrils falling away from her face as she leaned on the door frame behind her. She wore her pajamas—booty shorts and a flimsy tank top. I couldn’t help but wonder if she wore anything beneath those shorts.
“He did.”
“I hope he wasn’t as awful as Sawyer was about it.” As she spoke, a slow smile spread on her lips.
I recalled the things Sawyer said when I first arrived, and suddenly they all made a lot more sense. “Of course not. You know Declan.”
Her blonde head nodded. “I do.” Ash reached up, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “I just hope…I hope you don’t think differently of me, Will.” Heaving a sigh that could shatter an entire world, she murmured, “I don’t want you to think less of me.”
Would she think less of me if she knew I wanted to run my hand up that smooth leg and keep going until my fingers found the warmest place on her body?
“I don’t,” I said, meaning it. The whole Travis thing, well…girls liked the bad boys. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was a fact, but it was a cliché—and sooner or later, those clichés ended in misery. Travis would do something, say something, and it would break her heart. I knew it.
Travis…you couldn’t trust someone like him, just like you couldn’t trust someone like Sawyer.
Ash’s mouth curled into a wider smile, and she stood on her tiptoes, placing a single chaste kiss on my cheek before murmuring, “Goodnight, Will.” She said nothing more, shuffling out of the bathroom in her slippers, seemingly unaware of how fast my heart beat just from that encounter.
If I had her, I feared I wouldn’t know what to do with her. She was wild, a beast unable to be tamed. No man was up for the challenge, but that was fine, because I didn’t want to tame her. If Declan was happy, if Ash was happy…maybe I could be happy, too.
Chapter Seventeen – Ash
While Will was here, Travis was stuck on babysitting duty, which annoyed him, I think. He didn’t want to babysit Sawyer while Will, Declan and I got food and brought it to the house. He didn’t want to watch Sawyer or deal with his attitude while we swung by the dorm room for more clothes, and I couldn’t blame him. Now that Sawyer was starting to look up, he was insufferable.
Will ended up staying for five days. Five days, and we all slowly got back into the grind of classes and school. You know, what our lives should be like, if they didn’t revolve around a serial killer-slash-stalker who I knew was waiting, watching. It’d been quiet on the Ray front, which was a shock, not that I was complaining. I had too much on my plate already, with my multiple boyfriends and the feelings I had for Will.
Sawyer…let’s just not go there. Not right now. The wound was still fresh, even though it happened nearly two weeks ago.
Two weeks. Two weeks since I’d seen Kelsey, spoken to her. She’d given up trying to text me, and that was fine, as I wasn’t sure what I’d say to her. I still needed time, my mind needed to process what I saw. I had to, as much as I didn’t want to admit it, forgive her for what she did.
Her, and him.
Though a part of me wanted to saw off his dick like some psycho gone wild, I knew it was an overreaction. I never mentioned Kelsey to him, never talked about her at all to him. There was no way the dickhead had known who she was to me. And Kelsey? With his hair greased up, and us being at Stanton, the last thing she’d probably expected was to encounter one of the guys who tugged relentlessly at my heart.
Ugh. Okay, so maybe I still was kind of pissed.
The sun was setting, and me, Declan and Will stood near his car in Sawyer’s driveway. Will was leaving, heading back to his own place, which I didn’t want. Of course I wanted to be selfish, to ask him to stay, but I knew his mind was made up. Plus, even after Declan spoke to him, Will hadn’t made a single move on me. No passes. No winks. No extra flirtiness. No anything. It was like Declan had never spoken to him at all about me.
That, or maybe Will didn’t like me as much as I liked him.
I…did not appreciate that intrusive, terrible thought.
“Are you sure you can’t stay a little bit longer?” I asked, resisting my need to grab him by the collar and drag his ass inside…and then do some other things to that ass. A very fine ass, by the way.
The thought of him going home, being alone in that apartment, was not one I enjoyed.
“I’m sure.” Will threw a good-natured grin to his brother. “I’ve already stepped on enough toes, I think.”
“You didn’t step on anyone’s toes,” Declan said, to which I resisted my urge to roll my eyes. Because it was true. Will stepped on no one’s toes, not even Travis’s—which made Travis kind of look like a diva with how he’d been acting lately.
I took a step toward Will, holding my hands behind my back. If I didn’t, I might reach for him, beg him to stay. “You know my toes are always here, ready to be stepped on.” My feet had mostly gotten better. The soles were a bit scarred now, but that was to be expected after the long hike I’d done on them.
Will gave me an easy smile. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He’d already packed up his car, and he swung the keys around his finger. “Besides, I’m sure it won’t be too long before we see each other again. Thanksgiving is in two weeks. Maybe I can convince Dad to invite you and your mom over.”
“You think he’d go for that?” Declan asked, making it obvious he was not ready to spend a week apart from me due to the holidays. I totally understood that, because going home, possibly seeing Kelsey, was the last thing I wanted to do, too.
Hmm. I wondered if Mom would get mad if I stayed at Hillcrest for the break. No holiday for me. As long as one of the guys stayed with me, I’d be fine—
“I can try,” Will said.
“It’s not safe for her to go home by herself,” Declan said what we were all thinking. Well, more or less. In that moment, I was thinking less about Ray following me than I was about seeing my best friend whose face I’d seen twisted in pleasure while Sawyer pounded away at her.
“I can stay here, you know. I don’t
have to go home for Thanksgiving break,” I informed them. I knew they wanted the dorms empty, but Sawyer’s house was as good a place as any to crash for a week. I’d been doing it since Halloween, so it wasn’t that much of a stretch.
Declan rubbed his neck. “I’m pretty sure Travis is going with Sawyer. Something about his family not celebrating any holiday, or whatever, and there’s no way Dad’ll let either of us stay here over the break.”
“So,” Will spoke, leaning against his car, “that means you’ll just have to celebrate it with us.” His mouth grinned, and inside my chest, my heart sped up.
I knew enough about the brothers to leave it at that; arguing with them was pointless. I also knew enough about Ray to know, somehow, someway he was watching us. Watching me. I couldn’t hug Will right now, couldn’t leap into his arms and kiss him. The only thing I could do was stare at him and wave as he got into his car and drove off.
Declan moved closer to me, and it was as Will’s car disappeared into the busy traffic that he said, “It would be better if you spent the holidays with us. You’d definitely brighten them up.”
I, personally, wasn’t sure about that, but I said nothing as I headed to the side door and entered the large, spacious house. Declan was short on my heel, and we found Travis and Sawyer in the living room. Travis stood near the window, having watched it all, while Sawyer was sprawled out, wearing nothing but athletic shorts, his abs on full display…along with other parts of him that were easily visible against the sheer fabric of the shorts.
Now that he was mostly sober—although none of us trusted him to be left to his own devices yet—it was his usual state. Shirtless, shoeless. Not a care in the world.
Also, his half-smirk was back at full force. Not that I missed that particular thing. Not. At. All.
All in all, he looked better. Just because he looked better though didn’t mean shit. The road to recovery was a bumpy one.
Sawyer’s green eyes darted to me, a half-smirk growing on his lips. “So, did you end up banging Will too? If you did, Travis owes me a grand—”
Scowling, Travis muttered, “I told you to fuck off when you asked me to bet.” Travis wore a white t-shirt, its fabric a startling contrast to the tattoos lining his body. He was sex on two legs, and even though he might not be good for my health, he was my drug all the same. One of my drugs, because apparently I had more than one.
I frowned at him. “No one wants your attitude, Sawyer.” I thought about telling him no one wanted his snarky mouth, but then my mind—still in the gutter, thanks for asking—pictured quite a few different ways I wanted his mouth. Different locations, all that.
Sawyer shrugged. Somehow the bastard managed to shrug while laying down and look good while doing it. The whole abs for days thing helped with that. The faded pink hair? Not so much. “Hey, I’m only trying to make it interesting around here. If you guys had your way, it’d be one huge fuckfest.”
I had thoughts—quick, fleeting thoughts that disappeared as soon as they came—about digging out the knife I’d taken from Ray and stabbing him with it.
Like I said, quick thoughts. I’d never really stab him. He was way too pretty for that.
“You’re just jealous you’re not invited to the fuckfest,” I growled out. Just like always, I was letting Sawyer get the better of me. The asshole knew which buttons to press on me to get me riled up in all the wrong ways.
He laughed. “Even if I was invited, I’d pass. I mean, look at you—” Oh, going to insult me now, was he?
No fucking way.
“Right, look at me,” I said, raising my voice a bit louder than I intended. “I’m just the girl you’ve been obsessed with since day one. You wanted to use me against Declan? Oh, boo hoo, you couldn’t. Then you wanted to fuck me—which you couldn’t do, either, so you grabbed a skank and made her dye her hair pink.”
I was basically yelling at him now, but once I got started, I just couldn’t stop.
“Then when I came and ruined that, you spiraled. You went off the rails because I pushed you off, Sawyer, because I made you realize how shitty your life really is.” My hands clenched into fists at my side; I had everyone’s attention now. “And you know what really ticks me off? The fact that you think your problems are the worst. You’re so egotistical, thinking with the head on your dick and not the one on your shoulders, that you don’t even realize that your problems are nothing.”
Sawyer was slow to sit up, and his blonde eyebrows came together, his mouth opening, but he wasn’t able to say a word. Travis and Declan both knew better than to try to speak right now.
This was my time, baby. My fucking time.
“I watched you fuck my best friend after almost being raped by someone Brooklyn was cheering on. I went home with my serial killer ex because I couldn’t stomach the thought of coming back to Hillcrest after seeing you like that.” I spoke fast now, plowing on like a freaking semi-truck, “And of course that says nothing about the fact that I could’ve died because that bitch hit me with her fucking car.”
“What—” Sawyer tried to speak, but I didn’t let him.
Someone grab me butter, because I was on a roll. Travis and Declan looked a bit upset at that—did I not tell them about Brooklyn and her wonderful penchant for attempted murder? Oops. Guess it just slipped my mind with everything going on.
“You lost your sister, but guess what? Everyone loses someone. Every fucking day someone loses a sister, a daughter, a mother. Do you think that makes you special? Do you think it’s an excuse to act like a whiny rich boy who’ll never grow out of his partying ways? If you think Sabrina is why you’re like this, I have news for you: you’re just a shitty person. You’re not a good guy, and even though I never met Sabrina, I bet she’d hate to see you like this, to know everything that you’ve done.”
Travis was busy frowning, probably still at what I said about Brooklyn, while Declan appeared as a deer caught in headlights would.
“So, Sawyer,” I practically hissed out his name, “you can take your rude remarks and your half-smirks and go fuck yourself, in case I wasn’t already clear.” Seething, I spun and pounded up the stairs.
My blood was at a boiling point. I could feel it coursing through my veins like fire, like lava, threatening to burn through my skin and bubble out. That fucking prick. I hated him, I really did—except that was the thing, wasn’t it? I hated him, and I didn’t.
I hated that I didn’t hate him.
I hated that I loved him.
I hated me.
I ended up in the first bedroom on the second floor, which, shocker, was Sawyer’s room. The whole place reeked of him, of his sweat and his desperation, of his fuckups. My feet stopped me at the foot of his bed, and I stared holes into that mattress. I’d almost gotten on it with him, before. Before I knew just how badly broken that boy was. I remembered our encounter here during that first party, when I hadn’t truly any idea how fucked up he was. Boy, did I learn or what?
I learned, and I ended up in the same place. Needless to say, it sucked ass.
My boiling blood was not alone for long, because soon a tattooed figure joined me, standing mere inches behind me as he remarked, “That was…something else.” Travis’s tone was impressed, but he shouldn’t be. I’d wanted to blow up at Sawyer, and that? That wasn’t even the half of it. I could’ve kept going. I could’ve given Sawyer more.
That fuckboy…I hated him, I really did.
Parting my lips, I muttered, “I hate him.” And I did. It wasn’t the entire truth, but who cared? Right now my hatred for Sawyer Salvatore drowned out anything else I could feel. I didn’t dare turn around, didn’t dare meet those sparkling blue eyes of Travis; I knew what I’d find.
“I think we’ve all gone through periods where we hate Sawyer,” Travis mused, stepping closer. His chest pressed against my back, and I found myself leaning into him, letting him run his hands up my arms and to my neck, stopping only to sweep my hair to one shoulder, push it aside and o
ut of the way. “Why didn’t you tell me about Brooklyn?” His musings turned into a growl, his chest thundering behind me. He was angry.
I kind of liked it when it was angry.
My eyelids fluttered shut, and my breath became erratic the moment Travis wrapped a single, strong and steady hand around my throat. I’d traded one psychopath for another, and yet…yet this one…this one made me feel things Ray didn’t. This one I needed like I needed the air I breathed, even after he tried to foolishly punish me by locking me up in his room.
What a stupid thing to have done.
With one hand around my neck, his other snaked its way around my stomach, holding me tightly against him. His lips pressed against my shoulder, and I let out a ragged breath. “All that aside…I enjoy seeing you so riled up, Ash.”
The way he held onto me, his fingers coiled just tight enough around my neck to be uncomfortable but not hard enough to hurt, made me think he had a steadier hand than I suspected. Travis was not like Ray; whereas Ray was a wild animal on the hunt, Travis was honed predator, a hunter who was taught how to ensnare his prey and make it so that his prey never wanted to escape.
Me? He had me right where he wanted me; he and I both knew it.
“And now you have me,” I murmured, feeling his hold on my neck increase slightly once I spoke. Then I said something I probably should not have said—namely because we were in Sawyer’s room, because I’d just blown up downstairs—but I thought it was safe to say everyone needed a stress reliever after that. “What are you going to do with me?”
A dare. Me egging him on, baiting him with the thing I knew he wanted above all else: me. My body. Travis Scott would claim my soul for his if I’d let him, but that’s the thing. My heart might belong to these sexy, rich, broken guys, but my soul? My soul was mine, and I wasn’t going to give it up.
His lips neared my ear, his breath hot and smelling of smoke. It was a scent I’d come to like, only because I associated it with him. “I know what you want me to do.”
Psycho: A Dark College Romance (Hillcrest University Book 4) Page 13
