Complete Works of Charlotte Perkins Gilman

by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

  Beneath all this cheery good will and the gay chatter of the group her quick sense caught an impression of something hidden and repressed. She felt the large and quiet beauty of the rooms; the smooth comfort, the rational, pleasant life; but still more she felt a deep keynote of loneliness.

  The pictures told her most. She noted one after another with inward comment.

  “There’s ‘Persepolis,’” she said to herself— “loneliness incarnate; and that other lion-and-ruin thing, — loneliness and decay. Gerome’s ‘Lion in the Desert,’ too, the same thing. Then Daniel — more lions, more loneliness, but power. ‘Circe and the Companions of Ulysses’ — cruel, but loneliness and power again — of a sort. There’s that ‘Island of Death’ too — a beautiful thing — but O dear! — And young Burne-Jones’ ‘Vampire’ was in one of the bedrooms — that one he shut the door of!”

  While they ate and drank in the long, low-ceiled wide-windowed room below, she sought the bookcases and looked them over curiously. Yes — there was Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, Plato, Emerson and Carlisle — the great German philosophers, the French, the English — all showing signs of use.

  Dr. Hale observed her inspection. It seemed to vaguely annoy him, as if someone were asking too presuming questions.

  “Interested in philosophy, Miss Lane?” he asked, drily, coming toward her.

  “Yes — so far as I understand it,” she answered.

  “And how far does that go?”

  She felt the inference, and raised her soft eyes to his rather reproachfully.

  “Not far, I am afraid. But I do know that these books teach one how to bear trouble.”

  He met her gaze steadily, but something seemed to shut, deep in his eyes. They looked as unassailable as a steel safe. He straightened his big shoulders with a defiant shrug, and returned to sit by Mrs. Pettigrew, to whom he made himself most agreeable.

  The four young men did the honors of the tea table, with devotion to all; and some especially intended for the younger ladies. Miss Elder cried out in delight at the tea.

  “Where did you get it, Dr. Hale? Can it be had here?”

  “I’m afraid not. That is a particular brand. Sun brought me a chest of it when he came from his visit.”

  When they went home each lady was given a present, Chinese fashion — lychee nuts for Sue, lily-bulbs for Vivian, a large fan for Mrs. Pettigrew, and a package of the wonderful tea for Miss Orella.

  “That’s a splendid thing for him to do,” she said, as they walked back. “Such a safe place for those boys!”

  “It’s lovely of him,” Sue agreed. “I don’t care if he is a woman-hater.”

  Vivian said nothing, but admitted, on being questioned, that “he was very interesting.”

  Mrs. Pettigrew was delighted with their visit. “I like this country,” she declared. “Things are different. A man couldn’t do that in Bainville — he’d be talked out of town.”

  That night she sought Dr. Bellair and questioned her.

  “Tell me about that man,” she demanded. “How old is he?”

  “Not as old as he looks by ten years,” said the doctor. “No, I can’t tell you why his hair’s gray.”

  “What woman upset him?” asked the old lady.

  Dr. Bellair regarded her thoughtfully. “He has made me no confidences, Mrs. Pettigrew, but I think you are right. It must have been a severe shock — for he is very bitter against women. It is a shame, too, for he is one of the best of men. He prefers men patients — and gets them. The women he will treat if he must, but he is kindest to the ‘fallen’ ones, and inclined to sneer at the rest. And yet he’s the straightest man I ever knew. I’m thankful to have him come here so much. He needs it.”

  Mrs. Pettigrew marched off, nodding sagely. She felt a large and growing interest in her new surroundings, more especially in the numerous boys, but was somewhat amazed at her popularity among them. These young men were mainly exiles from home; the older ones, though more settled perhaps, had been even longer away from their early surroundings; and a real live Grandma, as Jimmy Saunders said, was an “attraction.”

  “If you were mine,” he told her laughingly, “I’d get a pianist and some sort of little side show, and exhibit you all up and down the mountains! — for good money. Why some of the boys never had a Grandma, and those that did haven’t seen one since they were kids!”

  “Very complimentary, I’m sure — but impracticable,” said the old lady.

  The young men came to her with confidences, they asked her advice, they kept her amused with tales of their adventures; some true, some greatly diversified; and she listened with a shrewd little smile and a wag of the head — so they never were quite sure whether they were “fooling” Grandma or not.

  To her, as a general confidant, came Miss Peeder with a tale of woe. The little hall that she rented for her dancing classes had burned down on a windy Sunday, and there was no other suitable and within her means.

  “There’s Sloan’s; but it’s over a barroom — it’s really not possible. And Baker’s is too expensive. The church rooms they won’t let for dancing — I don’t know what I am to do, Mrs. Pettigrew!”

  “Why don’t you ask Orella Elder to rent you her dining-room — it’s big enough. They could move the tables — —”

  Miss Peeder’s eyes opened in hopeful surprise. “Oh, if she would! Do you think she would? It would be ideal.”

  Miss Elder being called upon, was quite fluttered by the proposition, and consulted Dr. Bellair.

  “Why not?” said that lady. “Dancing is first rate exercise — good for us all. Might as well have the girls dance here under your eye as going out all the time — and it’s some addition to the income. They’ll pay extra for refreshments, too. I’d do it.”

  With considerable trepidation Miss Orella consented, and their first “class night” was awaited by her in a state of suppressed excitement.

  To have music and dancing— “with refreshments” — twice a week — in her own house — this seemed to her like a career of furious dissipation.

  Vivian, though with a subtle sense of withdrawal from a too general intimacy, was inwardly rather pleased; and Susie bubbled over with delight.

  “Oh what fun!” she cried. “I never had enough dancing! I don’t believe anybody has!”

  “We don’t belong to the Class, you know,” Vivian reminded her.

  “Oh yes! Miss Peeder says we must all come — that she would feel very badly if we didn’t; and the boarders have all joined — to a man!”

  Everyone seemed pleased except Mrs. Jeaune. Dancing she considered immoral; music, almost as much so — and Miss Elder trembled lest she lose her. But the offer of extra payments for herself and son on these two nights each week proved sufficient to quell her scruples.

  Theophile doubled up the tables, set chairs around the walls, waxed the floor, and was then sent to bed and locked in by his anxious mother.

  She labored, during the earlier hours of the evening, in the preparation of sandwiches and coffee, cake and lemonade — which viands were later shoved through the slide by the austere cook, and distributed as from a counter by Miss Peeder’s assistant. Mrs. Jeaune would come no nearer, but peered darkly upon them through the peep-hole in the swinging door.

  It was a very large room, due to the time when many “mealers” had been accommodated. There were windows on each side, windows possessing the unusual merit of opening from the top; wide double doors made the big front hall a sort of anteroom, and the stairs and piazza furnished opportunities for occasional couples who felt the wish for retirement. In the right-angled passages, long hat-racks on either side were hung with “Derbies,” “Kossuths” and “Stetsons,” and the ladies took off their wraps, and added finishing touches to their toilettes in Miss Elder’s room.

  The house was full of stir and bustle, of pretty dresses, of giggles and whispers, and the subdued exchange of comments among the gentlemen. The men predominated, so that there was no lack of
partners for any of the ladies.

  Miss Orella accepted her new position with a half-terrified enjoyment. Not in many years had she found herself so in demand. Her always neat and appropriate costume had blossomed suddenly for the occasion; her hair, arranged by the affectionate and admiring Susie, seemed softer and more voluminous. Her eyes grew brilliant, and the delicate color in her face warmed and deepened.

  Miss Peeder had installed a pianola to cover emergencies, but on this opening evening she had both piano and violin — good, lively, sole-stirring music. Everyone was on the floor, save a few gentlemen who evidently wished they were.

  Sue danced with the gaiety and lightness of a kitten among wind-blown leaves, Vivian with gliding grace, smooth and harmonious, Miss Orella with skill and evident enjoyment, though still conscientious in every accurate step.

  Presently Mrs. Pettigrew appeared, sedately glorious in black silk, jet-beaded, and with much fine old lace. She bore in front of her a small wicker rocking chair, and headed for a corner near the door. Her burden was promptly taken from her by one of the latest comers, a tall person with a most devoted manner.

  “Allow me, ma’am,” he said, and placed the little chair at the point she indicated. “No lady ought to rustle for rockin’ chairs with so many gentlemen present.”

  He was a man of somewhat advanced age, but his hair was still more black than white and had a curly, wiggish effect save as its indigenous character was proven by three small bare patches of a conspicuous nature.

  He bowed so low before her that she could not help observing these distinctions, and then answered her startled look before she had time to question him.

  “Yes’m,” he explained, passing his hand over head; “scalped three several times and left for dead. But I’m here yet. Mr. Elmer Skee, at your service.”

  “I thought when an Indian scalped you there wasn’t enough hair left to make Greeley whiskers,” said Grandma, rising to the occasion.

  “Oh, no, ma’am, they ain’t so efficacious as all that — not in these parts. I don’t know what the ancient Mohawks may have done, but the Apaches only want a patch — smaller to carry and just as good to show off. They’re collectors, you know — like a phil-e-a-to-lol-o-gist!”

  “Skee, did you say?” pursued the old lady, regarding him with interest and convinced that there was something wrong with the name of that species of collector.

  “Yes’m. Skee — Elmer Skee. No’m, not pronounced ‘she.’ Do I look like it?”

  Mr. Skee was an interesting relic of that stormy past of the once Wild West which has left so few surviving. He had crossed the plains as a child, he told her, in the days of the prairie schooner, had then and there lost his parents and his first bit of scalp, was picked up alive by a party of “movers,” and had grown up in a playground of sixteen states and territories.

  Grandma gazed upon him fascinated. “I judge you might be interesting to talk with,” she said, after he had given her this brief sketch of his youth.

  “Thank you, ma’am,” said Mr. Skee. “May I have the pleasure of this dance?”

  “I haven’t danced in thirty years,” said she, dubitating.

  “The more reason for doing it now,” he calmly insisted.

  “Why not?” said Mrs. Pettigrew, and they forthwith executed a species of march, the gentleman pacing with the elaborate grace of a circus horse, and Grandma stepping at his side with great decorum.

  Later on, warming to the occasion, Mr. Skee frisked and high-stepped with the youngest and gayest, and found the supper so wholly to his liking that he promptly applied for a room, and as soon as one was vacant it was given to him.

  Vivian danced to her heart’s content and enjoyed the friendly merriment about her; but when Fordham Greer took her out on the long piazza to rest and breathe a little, she saw the dark bulk of the house across the street and the office with its half-lit window, and could not avoid thinking of the lonely man there.

  He had not come to the dance, no one expected that, of course; but all his boys had come and were having the best of times.

  “It’s his own fault, of course; but it’s a shame,” she thought.

  The music sounded gaily from within, and young Greer urged for another dance.

  She stood there for a moment, hesitating, her hand on his arm, when a tall figure came briskly up the street from the station, turned in at their gate, came up the steps ——

  The girl gave a little cry, and shrank back for an instant, then eagerly came forward and gave her hand to him.

  It was Morton.

  CHAPTER VI

  NEW FRIENDS AND OLD

  ’Twould be too bad to be true, my dear,

  And wonders never cease;

  Twould be too bad to be true, my dear,

  If all one’s swans were geese!

  Vivian’s startled cry of welcome was heard by Susie, perched on the stairs with several eager youths gathered as close as might be about her, and several pairs of hands helped her swift descent to greet her brother.

  Miss Orella, dropping Mr. Dykeman’s arm, came flying from the ball-room.

  “Oh, Morton! Morton! When did you come? Why didn’t you let us know? Oh, my dear boy!”

  She haled him into their special parlor, took his hat away from him, pulled out the most comfortable chair.

  “Have you had supper? And to think that we haven’t a room for you! But there’s to be one vacant — next week. I’ll see that there is. You shall have my room, dear boy. Oh, I am so glad to see you!”

  Susie gave him a sisterly hug, while he kissed her, somewhat gingerly, on the cheek, and then she perched herself on the arm of a chair and gazed upon him with affectionate interest. Vivian gazed also, busily engaged in fitting present facts to past memories.

  Surely he had not looked just like that! The Morton of her girlhood’s dream had a clear complexion, a bright eye, a brave and gallant look — the voice only had not changed.

  But here was Morton in present fact, something taller, it seemed, and a good deal heavier, well dressed in a rather vivid way, and making merry over his aunt’s devotion.

  “Well, if it doesn’t seem like old times to have Aunt ‘Rella running ‘round like a hen with her head cut off, to wait on me.” The simile was not unjust, though certainly ungracious, but his aunt was far too happy to resent it.

  “You sit right still!” she said. “I’ll go and bring you some supper. You must be hungry.”

  “Now do sit down and hear to reason, Auntie!” he said, reaching out a detaining hand and pulling her into a seat beside him. “I’m not hungry a little bit; had a good feed on the diner. Never mind about the room — I don’t know how long I can stay — and I left my grip at the Allen House anyway. How well you’re looking, Auntie! I declare I’d hardly have known you! And here’s little Susie — a regular belle! And Vivian — don’t suppose I dare call you Vivian now, Miss Lane?”

  Vivian gave a little embarrassed laugh. If he had used her first name she would never have noticed it. Now that he asked her, she hardly knew what answer to make, but presently said:

  “Why, of course, I always call you Morton.”

  “Well, I’ll come when you call me,” he cheerfully replied, leaning forward, elbows on knees, and looking around the pretty room.

  “How well you’re fixed here. Guess it was a wise move, Aunt ‘Rella. But I’d never have dreamed you’d do it. Your Dr. Bellair must have been a powerful promoter to get you all out here. I wouldn’t have thought anybody in Bainville could move — but me. Why, there’s Grandma, as I live!” and he made a low bow.

  Mrs. Pettigrew, hearing of his arrival from the various would-be partners of the two girls, had come to the door and stood there regarding him with a non-committal expression. At this address she frowned perceptibly.

  “My name is Mrs. Pettigrew, young man. I’ve known you since you were a scallawag in short pants, but I’m no Grandma of yours.”

  “A thousand pardons! Please excuse me, M
rs. Pettigrew,” he said with exaggerated politeness. “Won’t you be seated?” And he set a chair for her with a flourish.

  “Thanks, no,” she said. “I’ll go back,” and went back forthwith, attended by Mr. Skee.

  “One of these happy family reunions, ma’am?” he asked with approving interest. “If there’s one thing I do admire, it’s a happy surprise.”

  “’Tis some of a surprise,” Mrs. Pettigrew admitted, and became rather glum, in spite of Mr. Skee’s undeniably entertaining conversation.

  “Some sort of a fandango going on?” Morton asked after a few rather stiff moments. “Don’t let me interrupt! On with the dance! Let joy be unconfined! And if she must” — he looked at Vivian, and went on somewhat lamely— “dance, why not dance with me? May I have the pleasure, Miss Lane?”

  “Oh, no,” cried Miss Orella, “we’d much rather be with you!”

  “But I’d rather dance than talk, any time,” said he, and crooked his elbow to Vivian with an impressive bow.

  Somewhat uncertain in her own mind, and unwilling to again disappoint Fordham Greer, who had already lost one dance and was visibly waiting for her in the hall, the girl hesitated; but Susie said, “Go on, give him part of one. I’ll tell Mr. Greer.” So Vivian took Morton’s proffered arm and returned to the floor.

  She had never danced with him in the old days; no special memory was here to contrast with the present; yet something seemed vaguely wrong. He danced well, but more actively than she admired, and during the rest of the evening devoted himself to the various ladies with an air of long usage.

  She was glad when the dancing was over and he had finally departed for his hotel, glad when Susie had at last ceased chattering and dropped reluctantly to sleep.

  For a long time she lay awake trying to straighten out things in her mind and account to herself for the sense of vague confusion which oppressed her.

  Morton had come back! That was the prominent thing, of which she repeatedly assured herself. How often she had looked forward to that moment, and felt in anticipation a vivid joy. She had thought of it in a hundred ways, always with pleasure, but never in this particular way — among so many strangers.