The Afflicted Zodiac Complete Series

by M J Marstens

  “Hold on,” is all he says before we begin skidding down the trunk at breakneck speed.

  About half-way down, we encounter our first. . . uh, fae. Nyam wasn’t joking. . . it just looks like moving mold. . . with eyes. . . and a mouth. . . full of razor-sharp teeth. I try to burrow myself deeper into the Sun god holding me. Luckily, he has a better plan and starts cremating the creepy little suckers as they get closer.

  But they outnumber us five-to-one and are scurrying too rapidly for Nyam to blast each one. Dammit, it’s time for me to suck it up (again) and step up. Recalling my earlier rage at Caed (for being an honest dickhead and telling me that he and the guys had thought I was Queen Crazy Bitch and had planned on killing me), I let my hand turn into a weapon of immediate mass destruction.

  Note to self: Turning myself into things back and forth is a cinch. . . as long as I don’t panic. . . like I did when I had a peach for a hand. But let’s be real- who wouldn’t be a smidge anxious over something like that, right?

  Arching my arm wide (while trying not to hit either Nyam or myself), I start demolishing the moving fungus with my hammer fist. Take that, you bathroom scum!

  A quick question for you: is bathroom scum a type of fungus?

  Your answer: it’s not relevant?!

  I think a potentially moldy bathtub is something to look into. . .

  You know, just in case. . . in the highly unlikely event your bathroom scum turns into some living creature and tries to eat you. . .

  I got your back, Trust Tree friend.

  Now have mine and help me decimate these shrooms!

  I take out a row of three oozing, yeasty things and feel victorious. Leaning left and right, I swing my hammer fist. I’m actually so damn good at it that Nyam pauses to watch me battle the mold. I smash another five creatures, but the sixth jumps over his flattened brethren, sailing right at my face. Acting on instinct, I turn my hands into giant cymbals and slam them together, trapping and killing the thing before it can get to me.

  Tipping my head towards the sky, I shout, “THIS. IS. SPARTA!”

  “No, this is the fourth dimension and it hasn’t even begun,” Nyam returns.

  Why the fuck does he have to ruin everything for me?!

  I peer around; we are rapidly getting closer to the black hole thingy. . . but I can see what Nyam meant. As we get closer to the ground, mold beings are just pouring out of it.

  Instantly, my hands become hands again and I return to my original state of panic. Added to that, I now feel a slight resistance that only becomes stronger the closer we get to the opening. It feels like something is pulling me back and, at any second, I will be flung far from the resistive portal. Nyam must know because his arms lock around me even tighter.

  He is muttering under his breath and he allows the true strength and brilliance of his light to shine through. On one hand, it immediately exterminates the fae in our vicinity. On the other, it burns my eyes and I fling an arm up to cover them. I let out a cry of pain as the light becomes too intense. . . it licks across my skin, scorching me.

  “Almost there!” Nyam yells.

  I wouldn’t make it though. I would die first and only be charred remains. I always wondered about those poor women put to the stake to burn in the Salem witch trials. . . and now I know how they felt. It’s an agonizing way to die; the fire slowly consuming you from the outside in.

  “Please end me!” I silently plea to a god who doesn’t exist.

  The heat amps up and chokes off my cries. Death or water. All I want is death or water. And a lifetime supply of aloe vera. Is that too much to ask for? When I don’t think I can take it any longer, I hear- and feel- a POP!

  Almost instantly, the burning feeling subsides and the blinding light dims. I cautiously crack open my eyes to find myself in Nyam’s arms. . . plummeting into what looks like an endless ocean of dark, deep water.

  “I’m okay now! I don’t need the water!” I think frantically as we plunge into the cold, wet depths.

  I swear my god powers are useless and listen worse than I do. . .

  As the ocean swallows me under, I start flailing my arms around like a drowning bird: perfect for swimming.

  Not.

  I feel something touch me and start thrashing around. Open water is so vast that the odds of meeting another living animal is pretty slim, but of course, with my luck, I probably fell right into a group of circling, starving sharks.

  Opening my eyes, I will myself to have ‘ocean vision’. For once, the damn powers do as they have been requested (aside from the hammer fist, which I do appreciate!), and I can see crystal-clear in the murky water. Luckily, no sharks seem to be closing in. Only. . .

  A mermaid.

  Make that a merman.

  Nyam is undulating beautifully in the water, flapping a powerful, scaly tail the color of jeweled honey.

  He is grinning mischievously at me.

  I know that grin: trouble. With a capital T. He is up to something. . . but wha-

  I squeal like an aquatic pig when two hands snake around my middle and start tickling my sides and stomach.

  I whirl in the water to find another merman.

  This one’s tail is a dark, gunmetal gray that glistens silver in the underwater current. His skin is a light gray and he is sporting horns at the top of his head. . .

  Mio!

  I swim into his arms and wrap my pink legs tightly around his fishy body. I might be crying, but it’s hard to say, considering we are in water. I have never been so happy to see the devilish man. I pull back to smack a friendly kiss to his lips.

  He pulls me tighter and tries to deepen the kiss, but I squirm out of his grasp. My momentary elation at seeing him has dissolved into my usual confusion where it concerns these eight man-gods. How did I end up in the fifth realm? Did I have the power of light, too? I mean, I can make myself glow faintly. . . and I’m pretty badass. . .

  I go to open my mouth and promptly keep it closed. I’m underwater, for fuck’s sake, why would I open my mouth? Come to think of it. . . how the hell am I breathing? I run my hands along my neck (where I assume gills might be located on a human-god-girl), but I don’t feel anything. I look to Nyam and Mio. Neither sport gills, either.

  They are both grinning at me like they know my conundrum.

  What dicks.

  I glare and cross my arms, while treading water. . . which was getting exhausting. . .

  “Give yourself a tail,” Mio says, like he can read my mind. “It will help keep you more buoyant than legs.”

  Huh, he can talk as if we are on land. . .and apparently breathe the same way. Okay, I can do this. I envision myself with a mermaid tail, mentally singing ‘aah-ah-aah-aah-ah-aah’ like Ariel. Now, there’s an awesome Disney princess.

  I feel my legs twine together to form a strong fin. Looking down, I see a grass-green tail swishing in the water.

  Ha, nailed it!

  But Nyam and Mio are both laughing and groaning at the same time. . . what the hell is their deal now?

  “Come on, sirenita, we need to get to safety before we can talk.” Mio comments, shaking his head at me.

  I look down again. Did I do something wrong when I made myself a mermaid? Sheesh, you would think they would cut me a little slack. It’s not like I have had practice doing this. But I swear I did it right- a gorgeous green tail, that off-sets my pink skin. . . well enough, I guess. . . oh, and a purple shell bra, and in my periphery, I catch sight of my long hair flowing behind me.

  Except it’s no longer the pale yellow of a newborn chick. . . it’s red. Ronald-McDonald-I-turned-myself-into-the-little-mermaid-red. No wonder those jerks are laughing. I probably look ridiculous. Here’s the visual for you folks back at home: think of Ariel. . . now color her in baby pink. . .

  “Nice shells,” Nyam jokes, as Mio and I follow him.

  “Quit checking me out, you pervert! Ariel was only sixteen in that movie!”

  “Well I doubt she had a rack like yours,�
�� Mio states dryly, swimming lazily next to me.

  I look down to reassess myself. Sure enough, my double Ds are spilling out the sides of the clamshells, which are really only acting as indecent pasties at this point. Whatever. Ariel wishes she had cleavage like this.

  “You two are a couple of pedos! I’m surprised you weren’t incarcerated on that show ‘To Catch a Predator’,” I accuse.

  Oh, you don’t know what that is? That’s sad, Trust Tree Sister. Add it to your ‘to Google’ list, along with the porno ‘Harry Pooter and the Golden Snatch’. Be prepared to be equal parts appalled and entertained. The world is a sick, sick place, I tell you.

  “Why are we swimming to safety?” I ask, belatedly getting my priorities straight.

  “Merfolk.” Nyam supplies.

  “And Mammocharchardons,” Mio adds.

  “Mammo-whats-its?”

  “Mammocharchardon. Like the megalodon of the fifth dimension. Only bigger.”

  Of course. I mean, why not? Why couldn’t Illu have the realm of giant sweet manatees? They are the cows of the sea! But noooooo, he is the ruler of Jaws.

  “And don’t forget the merfolk,” Nyam reiterates.

  “What? We’re the merfolk!” I protest hotly.

  “Ah, no. We are gods who have given themselves fins. Merfolk are like the fae.”

  “They are going to eat us and poop out fungus?”

  Mio laughs. “Close. They’ll happily eat you. But you just get shit out as fish poop.”

  The novelty of being able to see new worlds is quickly wearing off.

  “Luckily, I know somewhere safe. Come on,” Nyam commands.

  CHAPTER 16

  MERCURY

  In all our centuries of being cursed, my brothers and I have not been apart. Not since we first learned there were others like us from Sunny and we could not jump realms. Now I’m taken back to those days- alone, but also lost in another’s domicile. Everything is foreign and unknown. I’m relying on my memories of Sunny’s words and recollections about the fifth dimension.

  I had been fighting off some particularly vicious merfolk, when by some stroke of luck, I felt power ripple through the water. I would know that feeling anywhere. Only god power felt like that. Making quick work of the sea creatures, I swam off in the direction of the energy pull. Several miles later, I broke the surface of the all-water planet and looked up to the stormy sky. Unless Neptune was in a rage, very rarely were the waters anything other than calm.

  As my water brother was nowhere to be found in his domicile, something tempestuous obviously had the sky roiling. . . Eyeing the heavens, I could see a gaping hole renting the sky, lightning crackling around the opening. It looked similar to the portals Sunny used to jump dimensions. . . but volatile. Wary of the rip in space and time, I watched two beings hurtle through the fissure and crash into the ocean some distance from me.

  Pleased to duck under the tumultuous waves, I dashed off in the direction of the two people I saw fall into the water. I spotted Sunny already transformed with a gilded tail. . . and a floundering, gorgeous vision in pink.

  Zahra.

  Our Venus.

  I caught Sunny’s eye, as I snuck up on the unsuspecting goddess. After scaring the wits out of her, watching her turn herself into a Disney character, and seeing the five million questions flit across her face, we directed our deliciously wayward charge towards a more secure location.

  Now, swimming alongside her and Sunny, I take a moment to fully drink in the beautiful woman before me. Even with the clashing red hair, she looks magnificent. Interestingly, her eyes are the same green. Usually when we take a human form, we make sure it does not resemble our god forms. Zahra’s subconscious must have given her Venus’ eyes.

  I glance past Zahra to Sunny. Aside from when I first swam up to them, he refuses to make eye contact. He also has cut off our mental link. I paddle my tail harder until I’m nearly on top of the Sun god. I thought it had been the shadowy water, but now I can see that his skin is not the pearlescent yellow it normally is. The underlying glow seems dimmed and his flesh has a gray cast to it I have never seen on him.

  Something is wrong.

  But I know the stubborn god will not tell me anything unless he wants to. . .

  Or if I pry inside his head. . .

  I ease off Sunny to return my attention to Zahra.

  Our sweet Venus is easily riled up. . .

  “You seem full of energy, carina,” I comment nonchalantly.

  A roguish grin tugs at my lips when I see her cheeks flush the same red as her hair. I forget how exquisitely naïve and uncontrived the girl can be. I see Sunny struggle to maintain his stoic façade, but I know he knows my game. We’ll see how much of a sore loser he is when I win.

  “How did you get so much power? You are practically glowing with it.”

  And she is, with a bright light I would never attribute to the planet Venus.

  Another blush.

  I fucking love this woman.

  “Well. . .” I draw out.

  Her nose crinkles as she ponders how to respond.

  “Ignore Mio. He’s being a dick.” Sunny tells her.

  “Please don’t make me be racist again,” she replies.

  Will she ever make sense?

  I can tell Sunny is thinking the same thing and almost slips up enough to let me inside, but he quickly barricades me from his mind again.

  “You know. . . pot, kettle, black. . . you guys calling each other names. . . because you’re both dicks.”

  “You are ridiculous,” Sunny tells her.

  I see Zahra shoot him a murderous look.

  Stupid move, my friend.

  “Nyam and I fucked, but not before he riled me up with his fantasies about jacking you off and licking it from your stomach!”

  Sunny’s look is a mixture of shocked anger and suppressed humor. A perfect combination for him to lower his guard and for me to get inside his head, if only momentarily. But that is all I need. That split-second of time is enough to unveil Sunny’s secret and his pain. He knows what I have seen, but says nothing.

  “Fratello, talk to me. Are you okay?” I ask mentally.

  Zahra seems to know we are speaking because she is peering curiously between the two of us.

  “I’m fine,” he responds curtly.

  “You are not fi-”

  “I will heal, Merc. I’m just drained right now.”

  “Then take from me.”

  He starts to protest, but I cut him off from my mind and concentrate on harnessing my limited energy. Sex is the easiest way to corral and even generate power, but there are trickier ways to transfer it. Of course, as my brothers and I view one another as such, we had to learn how to shift energy back and forth in a different manner. I attempt to do so now.

  Gathering at the wispy tendrils of my essence, I pull at them until the ethereal strings come together and then I push them at Sunny. I see him stiffen when the small energy surge hits him. He frowns, but makes no comment. Thankfully, his coloring returns and he appears stronger and more alert than before.

  “Stop pitying me,” he commands angrily.

  “I’m not pitying you, asshole. I’m trying to figure out why you did it. Oh, and you’re welcome for the boost.”

  “You know,” Zahra cuts in, “when one heterosexual man gets told his best friend wants to lick up his cum, usually there is a response. . . and generally it’s a resounding no. . . unless said heterosexual man is secretly into it. . .”

  “Why the fuck did you tell her about Lina’s fantasies?” I groan to Sunny.

  Only gloating amusement is his answer.

  Zahra clears her throat, waiting for an answer.

  “I’m not secretly into Sunny. The dick was only trying to provoke you,” I tell her.

  She pouts adorably.

  What is it with women wanting to see men get it on with one another?

  “I guess it’s the same as us wanting to see two women go at it,”
Sunny mentally says with a shrug.

  “Nice of you to reopen the connection,” I say out loud, in irritation.

  Sunny just turns with a swish of his fin and dives down into the murky waters. Below us, the seaweed is a thick blanket growing along the bottom of the ocean floor. The long slimy leaves wave back and forth. Sunny splits the invasive plant and they part to show the opening of an underwater sea cave. Quickly, he ushers us inside.

  Miraculously, the further we swim up to the surface, the brighter everything gets, even though the caves do not lead outside. When I pierce the water, I see the cave is lit by bioluminescent algae.

  “It’s gorgeous,” Zahra breaths.

  Sunny and I both grin and lift out of the water while reshaping legs for ourselves. Zahra hoists herself unceremoniously onto the side and then flounders there for a good two minutes before splitting her fin in two. . .and finally giving herself legs again. One of us should probably take her to the side and help her, but selfish bastards that we are, we love watching her struggle.

  “Thanks for the help, dickheads,” Zahra mumbles when she can finally catch her breath. “Oh god, help me!”

  We look and see she has long, Ariel-esque hair for a bush. It looks like Cousin Its’ redheaded brother camping out over Venus’ crotch. A gentleman-god would probably help the floundering goddess. . .

  But neither Sunny nor I are gentle-anythings.

  “Ugh!” she exclaims in disgust when we just sit there and watch.

  Then Zahra gets up and stomps off around a corner where we cannot see her.

  “Where are you going, mon coeur?” Sunny calls out.

  “Somewhere you two can’t see me fix this!”

  “Alright, but don’t wander off too far,” he warns.

  We hear her disgruntled grumblings fade as she tries to find some privacy and then I turn to my oldest and first friend.

  “You going to explain or am I going to have to do an extraction?”

  CHAPTER 17

  ZAHRA

  I walk off in a childish huff, but I make sure I don’t go too far. . . who knows what I might encounter. . . a walking mammocharmegafuckmylifeasaur or something like that. . .