On a Roll

by Beth Bolden

  “I’ll be fine,” Lennox said.

  Sean wasn’t sure that was true, but he wasn’t going to argue with such a statue anymore. Did the man ever give anything away? He hadn’t seen more than a hint of any kind of personality. Maybe Ash got off on all that mystery, but Sean preferred something a lot more obvious.

  Like how shamelessly Gabriel had been humping his leg only a few minutes earlier. Internally, he sighed reluctantly. He guessed they wouldn’t be leaving the party early, after all. He’d just have to figure out how to cool down, and learn to wait.

  Chapter Six

  Gabriel knew that Sean thought he’d been being very sly, with the whole let’s go grab something in my truck charade, but he’d seen through it in a hot second.

  But what was he going to do? Reject Sean’s attempts to seduce him? When they felt so sweet and Gabriel knew how good they could be together? He might be an asshole, but he wasn’t a stupid asshole.

  “Hey, sorry we got . . . interrupted.” Sean glanced up at him, all coy eyes, tongue flicking out to lick his lips, and Gabe thought if he wanted to drag him back behind the truck again, he’d be down for that.

  But they’d just left, pulling Lennox along with them, and there was something so odd about that guy, how mixed up he was, so awkward and cold and yet the way he kept staring at the crowd around the fire pit? There was a yearning there, a wanting to belong. Maybe even a belief he couldn’t ever.

  And Gabriel might be an asshole, but this guy had bought a lot of meatball sandwiches off him in the last few months, and he also hated to see anyone who wanted something he couldn’t have.

  It cut a little too close to home, because even though he was definitely, undeniably, getting Sean naked tonight, he still wasn’t getting what he really wanted, was he?

  “It’s alright,” Gabriel said. “Will you have any unexpected visitors at your place?”

  Sean’s forehead crinkled adorably, and he shot him the look that had made him want to kiss him, basically from the first time he’d ever directed it in Gabriel’s direction. The one that screamed, in neon flashing letters, what the fuck are you even talking about, buddy?

  Maybe it shouldn’t have been so freaking cute, but it was. Every single damn time since the first time. That alone should have clued Gabriel in to his single-minded obsession with Sean, but he’d been in denial. How could two people who argued so much actually want each other enough to nearly rip their clothes off? It was a mystery, but it was one that Gabriel was one hundred and ten percent into exploring.

  “No, nobody at my place. Just us,” Sean said.

  “Then we won’t be interrupted later. That’s all I care about,” Gabriel said. “Because once I get you naked, there’s no going back.”

  “I already knew that,” Sean said with a sniff, but Gabe could feel him trembling under his shirt. And Gabriel? He was trembling at the exact same frequency.

  “Just making sure we’re on the same page,” Gabriel said as he steered them over to the bar where Jackson and Alexis had abandoned the bottles for cuddling on the same bench.

  “You want a beer?” Sean said, turning to Lennox, who was trailing a few feet behind them. “I think there’s some other booze here, too, if you want something else.”

  “I’m good with beer,” Lennox said stiffly.

  “Three beers coming up,” Gabe said, pulling open the cooler, which still smelled vaguely like fish. Considering all the fresh catch that Wyatt and Tony stored in it, the fish smell would probably end up lingering forever.

  “So, what do you do for work?” Sean said, turning towards Lennox. He’d obviously decided to adopt the guy, his feelings clearly similar to Gabe’s, and he’d have to be a lot colder to not find it sweet. Sean could be a super thoughtful, caring guy, and that was a part of his personality that Gabe had hoped he could explore more fully when they finally started hooking up.

  But considering that Sean had claimed that it could only be sex and nothing else, Gabriel wasn’t sure that was going to happen anymore. He was trying to manage his expectations and not be disappointed by impossibilities.

  “Me?” Lennox asked, putting a hand up to his chest, a little self-consciously. “Uh, well, I own a business. A security business.” He hesitated, clearly uncomfortable talking about himself. “We opened a new office a few blocks away from the lot, and that’s when I started coming here.”

  “Oh, that must be why Tony asked you to check out the security lighting,” Sean said, laughing. “I feel dumb now.”

  “No, Tony didn’t know, I didn’t tell him, I . . .”

  “Don’t like sharing much about yourself?” Gabriel chimed in. “Yeah, I kinda got that impression. Well, a warning, that’s not going to last long around here. We’re a fairly open group.”

  “Yeah, I got that impression, too,” Lennox said dryly.

  “Impression of what?” Ash appeared at his elbow, a beer in one hand, and one of those plastic shot glasses in the other. His tanned face was flushed, and when he looked up at Lennox, the flush deepened.

  “That everyone’s fine fucking around,” Lennox said.

  Sean frowned because yes, he’d discovered them doing that exact thing, but it was still a little harsh. Because they did run a successful business here. Six successful businesses, actually. They’d never be able to do that if they were actually fucking around all the time.

  “That’s not true,” Ash said righteously.

  Lennox regarded him steadily, without even a whiff of guilt. “I just know what I’ve seen.”

  “You certainly have no issue coming around buying meals from us,” Tony said.

  For the first time, Sean saw the beginning of a crack in Lennox’s steely composure.

  “I don’t have any issues,” Lennox said firmly. “I apologize if you think I did. You’re free to live your lives however you see fit.”

  But now that Sean had seen the uncertainty hiding in his eyes, it was impossible not to see it.

  He didn’t think Lennox disagreed with their lifestyle choices. Instead, he was fairly certain that was envy in his voice.

  “We certainly will,” Ash said.

  “I guess I’ll see you around,” Lennox said, and with a single, opaque glance towards Ash, walked off. Nobody stopped him.

  “Well, he was a major buzzkill,” Tony said as soon as he was out of hearing distance. “Why’d you invite him, anyway?” he asked, turning towards Ash.

  “He seemed like a nice enough guy. Could use some friends,” Ash said.

  “I think he probably still could,” Tate said, speaking up for the first time. Sean knew then that his quietly observant friend had seen the same thing he had.

  “Yeah, I think so too,” Sean agreed.

  “Don’t expect me to be the one inviting him next time,” Ash said. “I’ve learned my lesson.”

  Except, Sean knew how promises like that went. He’d started out that way too, sure that he was going to hate Gabriel for all time. So painfully certain that he’d never forget that meatball, rocketing towards him. And what was he doing now? Finding dark corners so he could try to seduce him.

  “I like to think nobody’s hopeless,” Sean said.

  “Yeah, you would,” Ash teased him, a smile suddenly lighting up his face. “I don’t suppose you’d want to go on record and tell us what’s going on between you and Gabe?”

  “Nope,” Sean said, exchanging a smile of his own with Gabriel. “We’re good, thanks.”

  “Just how good?” Tony wondered.

  “Ask me tomorrow,” Gabriel said, and Sean tried very hard not to flush just as red as Ash had. He glanced down at him, a knowing look in his eyes. “You ready to get out of here?”

  He’d been ready for hours, ever since Gabriel had finally seen the light and agreed to Sean’s plan.

  “Yeah, definitely,” Sean said, reaching out to take Gabe’s hand. “Hey, guys, thanks for a great six months,” he said. “And here’s to a hell of a lot more.”

  “Cheer
s to that,” Lucas said, raising his glass. “Have fun, and be safe, you two crazy kids.”

  ———

  It wasn’t until they were walking through the warm night air towards Sean’s townhouse that Gabriel began to get nervous.

  He was excited. He was turned on. And, he discovered, he was also terrified.

  “Hey,” he said, giving Sean’s hand a little squeeze. “Has it . . .” He cleared his throat. “Has it really been almost five years for you? Nothing else, not since your . . .” He hesitated. He’d been more than a little insensitive before, about Sean’s dead husband, and he didn’t want to fuck everything up by doing it again.

  “Husband? Milo?” Sean supplied with a quick grin. “You can say it, you know, I’m not made of glass. I’m not going to shatter.”

  “I know,” Gabriel said. Couldn’t help but think that Sean might be the strongest person he knew. If he ever fell in love the way Sean had with his husband, and then he died, he didn’t think he’d ever get out of bed again. But not only had Sean pulled himself up, he’d come here to LA and created a new life for himself. That was strength personified.

  “But no, nothing. No one since him.” Sean’s gaze was so trusting, it sent another wave of apprehension washing through Gabriel. “I didn’t want anyone else, and that was okay. But now I do, and that’s okay, too.”

  Gabriel wasn’t quite as confident as Sean was. It was one of the reasons he’d hesitated to agree to his friends-with-benefits plan. The other was that he definitely felt more than just friendly towards Sean—he wasn’t sure he could precisely identify his feelings, but he knew it wasn’t just platonic lust. But between watching Sean try to hit on anything with a dick and learning to live with what morsels Sean was willing to give him? In the end, the decision was a no-brainer.

  “I just don’t want this to be a mistake,” Gabriel said, more honestly than he’d intended.

  Sean gazed up at him. “It won’t be,” he said, his voice still so certain.

  “Alright,” Gabriel said. Maybe the trust in Sean’s eyes didn’t solve every problem, but he’d be lying if he tried to claim that it didn’t make any difference.

  Sean had chosen him. He hadn’t wanted anyone, not after Milo, but now he did, and Gabriel still couldn’t quite believe that it was him.

  After their conversation, Gabriel felt his jitters calm, and his blood begin to race. In a few minutes, he’d have Sean exactly where he’d wanted him for so long.

  And if he knew one thing, he knew that he could make it good for him. Just the thought of it—Sean naked beneath him, cock hard and leaking just for him—made his heart race and his own dick begin to harden. He didn’t know how he was possibly going to resist just pinning him against the door and taking him.

  “This is a nice place,” Gabriel said, hating how inane he sounded as he watched Sean type in the code to unlock the door.

  Sean laughed. “You don’t have to do any of that. It’s . . . well, it’s a place to sleep, you know?”

  Gabriel knew what Sean meant the second the door swung open. He’d left a lamp on in the tiny living room, but the couch, coffee table, and TV stand were all very plain and basic, no personal touches to them at all. It was like when he’d moved here, Sean had picked out everything online and had it delivered, not really giving a shit what it looked like or how it fit together. Or if it reflected who he was, at all.

  And, Gabriel realized with a sudden jolt it was very likely that was exactly how it had happened. When Sean had moved here, he’d been starting over.

  “Hey,” Sean said, and there was that edge of uncertainty that Gabriel had been dreading to hear.

  That was all it took. He crowded the guy against the front door just as it closed behind them, and—because he finally could, because he was finally allowed—he shoved his hands into Sean’s hair and captured his mouth.

  He was learning quickly how restrained and unsure Sean had been during that first kiss, and a little bit less so during the second, and even less when they’d made out earlier tonight against the back of Sean’s truck. But now? It was like Sean had flung away the last of his concerns, and he was in this, kissing Gabriel back like he was starving and he hadn’t had a proper meal in ages.

  Years, Gabriel realized dimly as Sean’s foot wound its way up his leg. He hadn’t had anything in years.

  “God, please, yes.” Sean’s pleading was echoing in his ears as he pushed Sean harder against the door. He could feel Sean’s cock, rock hard, under his thigh, and when his eyes flicked open, he could see Sean’s head was tipped against the door, his mouth open, red and wet. And he knew, without any doubt in his mind, what he needed to do.

  Gabe went to his knees, his fingers reaching up to tug on the button on Sean’s jean shorts.

  His teeth sunk into his lower lip, deep enough to leave a mark. “Wait,” he panted. “Wait, I won’t . . .”

  “Won’t last?” Gabriel nodded. “I know. It’s been so long for you, but that’s okay. We’ve got all night.”

  “I wanted . . .” Sean said, a crinkle appearing between his brows. “I wanted . . .”

  “Yeah, I’ve got you, don’t worry about anything,” Gabriel reassured him. He’d finally wrenched the button open, and was tugging the shorts down, only to be surprised to see Sean’s rock-hard cock, precome smeared over the bright red tip. Gabe gave in to his best instincts, running his thumb over the wetness, enjoying the throaty moan Sean gave him in response.

  “Feels good, huh?” Gabriel said, closing his hand around his dick, and stroking it, quick and a little rough. Giving him as much pleasure as he could handle, hoping to tip him over the edge nice and easy.

  “So good,” Sean said, his gaze searing as it met Gabriel’s. “So fucking good. I just don’t know . . .”

  Gabriel worked him through it, the way Sean’s eyes glazed over, the back of his head thumping rhythmically against the door. He could tell Sean was close, and could tell he was holding on. Trying to eke out every single bit of pleasure?

  What Gabriel really wanted was for him to let go, to stop holding back. “Come on, baby,” he cooed as he stroked Sean’s dick. It was just as pretty as the rest of him, and he still intended to get him totally naked by the end of the night, begging to be fucked by his cock. But he needed to let the orgasm take him if he had any chance of that happening.

  Every muscle in Sean’s body tensed, and then he was coming in long, stuttering pulses, and it went on forever, dripping onto the hardwood floor in front of the door. Gabriel already knew he’d never be able to look at Sean again and not automatically think of Sean turning into mush, all for him.

  “Fuck, you shouldn’t have . . .” Sean mumbled as Gabe rose up. There was a tissue box on the coffee table and he grabbed a few, cleaning up his hand, and settling back at Sean’s feet so he could clean up the floor.

  “Yes, I should. It was what you wanted, wasn’t it? What you needed,” Gabriel reminded him. He’d been so worked up, horny and desperate, and that wasn’t really such a surprise considering how long he’d denied his body’s basic needs.

  “Yeah, but . . .”

  “Oh,” Gabriel said, rising up again. His cock was uncomfortably hard in his jeans. But he’d given Sean what he’d needed and that was a beautiful kind of pleasure on its own. “Did you think we were done? We’re not done by a long shot.”

  A smile broke over Sean’s face. “How did you know?”

  “That this was what you needed?” Gabriel shrugged. “It wasn’t that hard to guess.”

  Sean swayed towards him, loose-limbed and sleepy-eyed and so fucking gorgeous that Gabriel felt his heart clench.

  “I want to get my hands all over you,” Sean said, “but first . . .” He leaned in, and Gabe could get behind more kissing. The more kissing they did, the less this felt like one of those hookup situations and more like . . . something bigger and brighter and sweeter.

  Something that Gabe was craving and he couldn’t even put a name to.

&nbs
p; The kiss spun out, all tongue and hot, insistent mouths, and Gabriel thought for a second, this is what going insane must feel like. But then Sean was kissing up his neck and mouthing insistently at his earlobe. “Bedroom,” he said, and started tugging Gabriel—he assumed in that particular direction. A few stumbles later, Sean was pushing him down on a soft, fluffy surface. The bed, he realized.

  But then that was hardly something to be embarrassed about, considering how little blood was still left in his brain.

  “I wanna give you something,” Sean said softly, intimately, and then he was on his knees, and he was pulling Gabe’s shirt off, and his fingers were on his belt, tugging down his jeans and then his boxers, until it was just Sean and his dick, face to face for the first time.

  He'd had so many fantasies about this. Every time Sean had opened his mouth to be difficult or rude or snarky, Gabe had thought about shoving his dick into it.

  But the reality was so much sweeter. Sean was certainly eager enough for it, and he hadn’t been in any of those faraway fantasies. Then Sean’s tongue flicked out, curling around the tip and Gabriel swore. He’d worried about Sean not being able to last, but his own needs had risen precariously close to the breaking point.

  “Wait,” Gabriel said, digging his fingers into the bedding on either side of him. But Sean wasn’t waiting for anything—his mouth slid right down his dick like it was born to take it, and Gabe shook as the pleasure rose through him.

  But if he let himself be overwhelmed by it, he’d never be able to fuck Sean like he’d asked him to. Of course, the chance of being able to do that now, anyway, after he was this close to the goddamn edge was laughable. He should just let the wave take him. Enjoy Sean’s mouth the way Sean seemed to be enjoying his cock.

  He kept making these hungry little noises around it, as his tongue dipped lower and lower, tracing the most irresistible pattern until Gabe didn’t think he could even think any longer. All that was keeping him anchored to the earth were his hands clinging to the blankets, and Sean’s hot palm on his bare thigh.