Whom Shall I Kiss... an Earl, a Marquess, or a Duke?

by Laura A. Barnes

  Before his lips met hers, somebody yanked Rory away. A pair of arms swung him around and planted a fist on his cheek. Soon, punches flew from both gentlemen. Some connected with grunts echoing their pain. Sidney watched in horror as Noah and Rory pounded each other, neither of them holding back their anger. Soon Sheffield forced them apart by shoving himself in between the two with his arms held out. Sidney’s hand became clasped in comfort as Sophia joined her in the mix. Sophia glared at the gentlemen—Sheffield in particular.

  “Let go of me, Sheffield. After I am done with him, you are next,” Rory growled.

  “Stand in line, Beckwith. Sheffield is mine,” Wildeburg gritted between his teeth.

  “Now, gentlemen, why are you angry with me? Especially tonight of all occasions, we should be sharing a toast as we smoke cigars while you congratulate me on my good fortune.”

  “Good fortune? You have underhandedly taken from me what is mine,” replied Wilde.

  “Well my good friend, you waited too long. I am the victor to this game. You played it well. I thought I had lost, but when you hesitated on your last move, I claimed the prize.”

  “Game? Prize?” Sidney questioned.

  “You were nothing but a game to these scoundrels. Each man set out to see who could win your hand, no rules allowed,” Rory explained.

  “Was that all I ever was to you?” Sidney confronted Noah with tears in her eyes. Her voice caught as she watched the guilt spread across his face.

  “Let me—”

  Sidney held her hand to stop him. “I am nobody’s prize. You, sir, are a shallow cad.” She then turned toward Sheffield. “You, sir, are a manipulative swine.” She finally settled on Rory. “And I thought you were my friend.” Sidney ran from the garden but halted when Wilde spoke.

  “We were not the only ones playing a game though, were we Lady Sidney?”

  Sidney slowly swung toward the group of men. “Excuse me?”

  “You, yourself, played a game against us.” Noah spread his arms out wide indicating Rory, Sheffield, and himself.

  Sidney swung her eyes to Rory and Phee, who both shook their heads in denial. When she looked to Sheffield, it was to see his eyes narrow and a scowl spread across his face. She sensed his anger as he realized she had made a fool of him. If the names she called him didn’t break their betrothal, then the truth of her deception would. She didn’t know how Wilde discovered her secret, but it wouldn’t stop her from finishing what she started. She pulled her shoulders back and stood before them, proud of herself and her determination to uncover the depth of a man’s deception.

  “You are quite correct, Lord Wildeburg. A few weeks ago, I devised a research project set to expose the scandalous ways of the gentlemen of the ton. I chose three subjects to write my thesis on. The theory was to prove how three separate men would lure me into a private setting to steal a kiss or other favors. Then I wanted to prove how they would risk my reputation and the lengths they would go to secure my ruination.”

  Sidney paused, waiting for a reaction. When none came, she continued. “I chose one from each rank of the peerage by their reputation. I desired to receive a kiss from each of you. First a duke. Sheffield, I wanted to see if, after you kissed me, you would then offer for my hand. I speculated on how far somebody as high ranking as a duke would go to seduce an innocent.

  “The second gentlemen was a marquess. Wildeburg, I heard tales of your disgraceful nature. How you ruined young misses. The data I collected on you proved to be correct on how I assumed you would handle your affairs.

  “The third, an earl. Beckwith, my decision to choose a friend came from the question of your reaction to the change in my appearance. I wondered if you would alter your behavior toward me.

  “I inserted many variables into my research to be proven wrong. But alas, I was not. Each of you gentlemen have confirmed my theory. I thank you for your assistance in helping me to conclude my research.”

  With her speech delivered with no interruptions, Sidney turned on her heel and departed the garden for the ballroom. She wished to find her parents and leave all this behind her. She felt guilty for leaving Sophia but knew Rory would escort her back to her parents. Once her deception settled into Sheffield’s mind, he would ruin her family. If she managed to put some distance between them, they could at least avoid a scandal at the ball. Her parents stood on the balcony, waiting for her. Her mother was quite upset, and her father wore a frown. Sidney realized they witnessed her speech and were appalled. Sidney felt an arm circle her waist and heard Rory tell her father that his carriage would take them home. He helped her father usher her mother to the front of the Havelocks’ home.

  “Rory. You left Phee alone, I have to—”

  “Go with your parents. I will see to Sophia.”

  Sidney squeezed his hand in gratitude. “I am sorry for betraying our friendship with false airs.”

  “It better be one hell of a paper, Sid.”

  Sidney’s laugh was bitter. “It will be.”

  Soon they settled in Rory’s carriage and headed home. Her mother shed tears and moaned her embarrassment, threatening to send her to a convent. While her father shook his head and added his disappointment about her theatrics in the garden. He even agreed with Mama’s comments on the convent, since he fully understood her ruination. Once they arrived home, her parents ordered her to her bedroom for the duration of the evening. Her father informed her they would discuss her future in the morning when tensions weren’t so high.

  As Sidney trudged her way up the stairs to her bedroom, she understood the full impact of her destruction. She selfishly ruined the respect of her parents’ standing in the ton, not to mention her relationship with them. They would no longer trust her actions, and she didn’t blame them. She had not only hurt her parents, but she had also hurt her friends as well. In her self-absorption, she neglected her friendship with Phee. Something troubled her, but Sidney didn’t set aside her own needs for those of Phee’s. Her relationship with Rory would be strained now too. She caused doubt in his mind with her deception, playing on her appearance to fool him. However, as much as she was at fault, it would not sway her decision to write her paper. The truth needed to be spread, and she would—in detail.

  Chapter Fourteen

  When she wandered into her room, her window stood open. The cool breeze swept inside, blowing the curtains in the air. Sidney twirled around, expecting Noah to be waiting for her. But alas, the room stood empty. She hurried to the windows to glimpse outside, but he was nowhere to be seen.

  “I am sorry, My Lady. In my clumsiness, I tipped over a bottle of your perfume, and the air was heavy. I opened the room to clear away the odor. Allow me to close the windows for you.” Rose latched the windows, then turned to help Sidney undress.

  Sidney stood still, disappointed as Rose removed her dress and helped her into a nightgown and robe. Rose wanted to gossip about Sidney’s engagement, but she pleaded tiredness and sent Rose on her way after she brushed out Sidney’s hair. Sidney tugged back the covers and climbed into bed. When she reached over to blow out her lantern, she saw her book lying on the side table. Sidney laughed at the irony of the book. She decided to read a few pages, hoping they would help her fall asleep. What better way to finish the evening than to read about the one subject she botched. Romance. There would be no more romance in her future. From what she experienced this season, she was unsure if she ever wanted to again.

  As her fingers drifted through the novel to find her spot, an envelope floated out from between the pages. A parchment of paper folded with a seal and addressed with her name on the outside rested on the blanket. Curious as to how a letter to her became hidden inside her book, she broke the seal to see who wrote to her.

  My darling Sidney,

  I find I have many reasons to apologize to you. First reason would be for stealing your book and not returning it to you. I’ve had your book in my possession since the first meeting in our park. My reference to Hillside Par
k as ours is because it is the spot where you invaded my heart. I kept your book to help me find a way to steal your heart. During my pursuit, I read the novel and incorporated the hero’s actions into my own. I also confess to charming your dear friend Sophia to assist me with your gifts.

  Please don’t be angry with her for helping me woo you. She is a wonderful friend, and I do not want to be the reason for any rift between you two. When I told her of my plans, she only wished to help with your happiness. Which I have seemed to blunder.

  Second, I apologize for exposing your research secret. I overheard your conversation with your father when you discussed the matter. While I was not angry, but impressed with how your mind works, I was jealous of your betrothal to Sheffield. I wanted to sabotage your engagement and realized this was my move for revenge.

  Third, I am very sorry if I have ruined your engagement. I never meant to cause your family a scandal. I set you up to be taken advantage of by Sheffield with my lateness in asking for your hand. I do take back part of my apology. For I am not sorry if Sheffield has withdrawn his promise to make you his duchess.

  Fourth, I was a fool to play a game with Sheffield to win your affections. Everything has always been a game between us. Women, cards, drinking, you name it and we would compete. You were supposed to be no different, just a chit we could toy with for the season. However, Sheffield changed the stakes when he talked of marriage. I would not allow him to win your hand.

  The final reason in my apology is for leaving you to wonder of my regards. The feelings you invoked in me frightened me. Terrified actually. In concern of my own fears, I left you in doubt of my intentions.

  The most memorable experience of my life was making love to you. There are no words to describe how you touched my soul. I am ashamed of myself in how I took advantage of you and where. Part of the shame has kept me from your side. I tried to convince myself any man would be better for you than me, even Sheffield. But as I came to my senses, I realized I was wrong. I aspire to be the man you deserve. For the rest of our lives together I want to prove my love to you.

  There are many apologies I must make to you and your family, and starting tomorrow I shall begin. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I understand if you do not love me, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to earn your love and respect. I wanted to remain in your room to watch your reaction but realized I could no longer ruin your reputation. Below your window, I await in the garden for your reaction. If you would grant me my wish and at least come to the window, I will know I stand a chance to win your heart. If not, I understand, but it will not deter me to win your affections, for I have many tricks up my sleeve to prove my love for you.

  I am truly sorry, my dear.

  I love you deeply with all my heart.

  Your most shameful suitor,

  Noah

  Sidney let the letter slide to her lap as she let his words impact her decision. Should she rise from the bed and check the garden, or should she stay beneath the covers? He tempted her to see if he waited below, but the rational part of her brain debated the sincerity of his letter. It appeared their whole affair was nothing but a bunch of lies on both of their parts. Could they ever trust one another to not deceive? While Sidney’s heart shouted yes, the rest of her remained confused. The confused side of her mind kept her under the blanket. She stared at the windows, wishing she could see the garden from the bed. Sidney longed for any sign of him to climb the trellis to her. Why was he being honorable now, when he had not been before? It was his wildness, his namesake, that drew her to him. His spontaneity captured her heart. Sidney closed her eyes, wishing for him. When she opened her eyes, he was not there.

  Her fingers flittered through the book, fanning the pages. Her mind was scattered with unspoken emotions she was still coming to grips with. She became distracted from her thoughts when she noticed the scribbles in the columns. The book was new when she lost it, and she had never written in it. When she read the scrawls, they matched Noah’s handwriting. She read his notes along the edges, laughing in delight at his comments where he remarked on the hero’s foolishness, points he wanted to try with her, and silly words to describe how he interpreted the story.

  Sidney slid farther under the covers after she blew out the lantern. She closed the book and held it to her heart, along with his letter. She made the decision to stay in bed. While Wilde gifted her with an apology, she still needed to offer one to him before they met again. Tomorrow she would attempt to right her wrongs with everybody she had hurt tonight. Her eyelids lowered as she thought of a plan. Exhaustion overcame her, and she drifted to sleep with an apology formed in her mind. Tomorrow morning would be soon enough.

  WILDE WAITED PATIENTLY in the garden for her to show him a sign of her forgiveness. When her light disappeared in her bedchamber and she never came to the window, he knew she had not forgiven him. He sat, dejected, on the bench. He hoped for any sign to come his way, but disappointment overwhelmed him when none came. As the night continued, he stayed there, even when the clouds covered the moon and the rain began to fall. He laughed, for it reminded him of the first night he climbed through her window. The rain didn’t deter him then, and it wouldn’t now. He stood, then snapped off a rose and climbed the trellis.

  When he reached her window, he silently slid inside. As he stood, dripping wet, he saw her in a deep sleep. His smile widened when he noticed she gripped his letter and the book in her hands. He hunched down as he watched her sleep. How he wanted to slide under the sheets with her and draw her into his embrace. He wished to whisper to her his deepest desires but knew he couldn’t. He didn’t want her this way. He wanted her without ruining her. His past actions had done enough of that. Instead, he laid the rose on her opposite pillow. Then he slid a piece of candy from his pocket and tied it around the stem.

  With a brush of his fingers across the locks of her hair, he lowered his head to press a gentle kiss to her lips. When she moaned in response and parted her lips, it took everything Wilde had inside him to pull back.

  “Noah,” she moaned in her sleep.

  “Sweet dreams, my Sidney,” he whispered in return before he returned to the window.

  With one last glance at his love, he climbed back down the trellis and headed to rest on the bench. For the first time in his life, love directed his actions.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Sophia found her friend sitting at her desk with her research papers spread about, writing rapidly across the parchments. She reclined on the end of the bed unnoticed as Sidney wrote her thesis. Lady Hartridge called on them late this afternoon, begging Sophia to help draw Sidney from her room. From what Lady Hartridge described, Sid had barricaded herself inside her bedchamber since dawn and refused to be disturbed. She locked the door and forbid anybody to enter. Sophia knew of Sid’s hiding spot for her key and used it to enter the bedroom.

  Sidney worked in a disheveled state, her hair unbound and flowing in wild waves around her face while still dressed in her nightgown. Her robe was inside out. A rose rested on the edge of the desk with a piece of candy tied around the stem. Sophia smiled. Wildeburg drove her friend into a frazzled mess. Finally, a man unbound Sidney’s tight restrictions on her frame of mind. Sophia laughed, then her laughter turned louder until her sides ached. Sidney scowled at her interruption but kept on writing. When Sophia realized she couldn’t interrupt her friend, she wandered to the windows. As she glanced below, she saw Wildeburg sitting on the bench. When he noticed her, he waved, and Phee waved back.

  Sophia swirled around to her friend and noticed a book on the nightstand. Deciding to occupy herself with something to do until Sid finished, she settled on the chaise and opened the book. It was a romance story, the kind Sidney absolutely detested. She sent a puzzled glance her way and then started to read. It was the latest novel in the bookstores. Sophia remembered how Sidney ridiculed the title and the plot of the story. As she flipped through the pages, she noticed small notes written inside. As s
he brought the book closer to her face, Sidney ripped it from her hands. Sidney swiftly moved the book behind her back to hide it from Sophia’s eyes. Sophia, in return, smiled her enjoyment at Sidney’s discomfort.

  “Romance novels are so cliché. Why do you read such dribble, Phee? They cloud your mind with unreal fantasies,” Sophia imitated.

  Sidney plopped next to Phee. “I have a confession to make.”

  “It would appear so,” Phee laughed.

  “I have secretly devoured romance novels since you read me the first one all those years ago.”

  “I knew it.”

  “You did not.”

  “Well, I wondered anyhow. On some books, you would argue how it wouldn’t work for the hero, then not a peep on other novels. You sat entranced as I read to you. Why though?”

  “I don’t understand why. I guess I wanted to be known for my intellectual mind. If I appeared to read fluff, then those whose respect I hoped to gain would think my mind floated in the clouds.”

  “Gee, thanks,” Phee replied, hurt.

  “You misunderstand, Phee. All I possess is my mind while you offer so much more. You’re beautiful, kind, and gentlemen hang on your every word. Your grace sets everybody at ease with the right words or gestures. While my charm leans toward offending and arguing with everybody. One look upon your stunning figure and they follow you like a puppy dog. Me, they run the opposite way.”

  “Nonsense, Sid. You have proven otherwise this season. Since your remarkable change, the gentlemen have flocked to your side. You even had the two most sought after bachelors in the ton pursue you. I think you even managed to catch one of their hearts. The other, well he doesn’t deserve any girl. So, what is your opinion of this novel? I have yet to read it.”