by Jo Thomas
I’m so angry I can hear the blood whooshing in my ears! Not just angry with Cora, angry with myself for even questioning Stephanie or JB for a second!
‘She even takes her banner back as she leaves,’ he points out. She’s leaning into the water and dragging it out. ‘No doubt intending to be back with it again tonight.’
‘If only I hadn’t walked away,’ I say. ‘If I’d stayed at the clearing until we’d locked up, none of this would have happened.’
‘You were dumping me, remember?’ Fabien says drily, his joy at finding Stephanie conclusively innocent forgotten, his hurt evident. My cheeks tingle and burn – I’m not sure whether with embarrassment, regret or fury about Cora.
‘Yes,’ I say, hanging my head. ‘Very badly if I remember it correctly. I’m sorry.’
‘Sorry for dumping me or sorry for doing it so badly?’ He raises his eyebrows, his lovely green eyes shining again.
‘Both,’ I croak.
‘Okay, well, let’s sort out Cora, and then you two need to talk,’ says Carine. ‘Talking is always the best option.’ She smiles at the mayor and I wonder what decision she has come to and hope it’s right for everyone. ‘And to think it was Cora’s idea to put in the CCTV, to get rid of the homeless in the town.’
‘I think we can agree she’s about to be, er, hoist by her own petard!’ says the mayor. ‘You leave Cora to me and my police officers,’ he says.
‘In the meantime, there’s probably someone else you should speak to before you talk to me,’ says Fabien. ‘Would you like a lift?’ he says kindly. It’s all I can do not to hug him.
‘Please,’ I manage. I just hope Stephanie will agree to see me, because if she won’t, I don’t think I’ll be able to stay around here any longer. My time at Le Petit Mas will be over and all my happy memories destroyed. Which may be exactly what I deserve.
FIFTY-EIGHT
We barely speak on the way to JB’s parents’ house. I have no idea exactly what I’m going to say.
As we pull up at the house, I have no idea if she will even see me, let alone talk to me, and I couldn’t be more nervous. If Stephanie won’t see me I’m not sure I could bear it. I stare at the front door. The same door she knocked on when she came to find JB, who sent her away. I stare at it and wonder if the same will happen to me, presuming, of course, that they’re here. My heart is pounding.
‘I’ll wait down the street,’ Fabien says. ‘Take as long as you need.’
I open the door and slide out from beside Ralph, who is happily reunited with Fabien’s Jack Russell, Mimi.
I walk slowly up the road, in through the front gate and through the neatly tended little garden up the crazy-paved path to the sage-coloured front door.
I stare at it. Right now, everything that matters is, hopefully, on the other side. I raise my shaking hand and knock. My new life in France hangs in the balance.
FIFTY-NINE
JB answers the door and, to my relief, invites me in and introduces me to his parents, who seem a little guarded, understandably so. I handled things so badly. I feel wretched.
We stand in awkward silence as JB goes to tell Stephanie I’m here. He runs upstairs in the small modern house, which is now filled with four adults and a toddler and seems very cramped.
My hands are sweating and I feel light-headed.
Finally I hear footsteps on the stairs and Stephanie is coming down with Tomas in her arms. My heart leaps at the sight of them, then plummets as I remember this could be our last goodbye.
JB’s parents are still looking at me from their position on the sofa, surrounded by bags of nappies and a plastic car. Through the window, I see a football in a neat flowerbed in the back garden. Everything was clearly in its place before Tomas arrived, but they’re delighted to see him now. I’d ask to have a moment alone with Stephanie, but I don’t think there’s anywhere we could go to be on our own.
‘Stephanie,’ I say. It’s a start. She accepts my kiss on both cheeks and Tomas too. He holds out his arms to hug me, as if I’m a special aunt who’s come to visit. And that is exactly how I feel, not like his mother, but a special aunt, and it’s lovely.
I clear my throat. Everyone is looking at me. Stephanie’s eyes are guarded and dark.
‘Have you come to tell me you’re reporting me to the police?’ she says, like a cat backed into a corner, spitting and hissing. ‘To tell them I’m a thief.’
Her words sting.
‘No,’ I say. ‘I’ve come …’ now I have to find the words ‘… because I cannot believe how wrong I was. I knew you wouldn’t have taken the money.’
‘Oh, really? How did you know? If I had told you I hadn’t done it, would you have believed me?’
‘Yes, of course! It was Cora all along. I should’ve realized it straight away. I’m sorry. She was trying to set you up so that I would think it was you and the riverside clearing would be closed down. She wanted to hurt us. To get us all to leave, and leave her town “picture-perfect”.’
‘Looks like she succeeded.’
‘I couldn’t feel worse about it. I never really thought it was you. Not even for a second. I’m sorry.’
She raises her eyebrows.
‘Not even for a second? Me, the thief! Who could never change her spots!’
She lifts her chin higher just like when I first met her and I wonder if it’s to stop any tears leaking from her eyes.
I shake my head.
‘Not even for a second.’ I need her to believe me. I knew in my heart that she wouldn’t do that to me, no matter how much Cora wanted me to think that.
Stephanie says nothing. Nobody says anything. That’s it. It’s all I can say. I could tell her how much I’ve loved having her and Tomas in my life, JB too, about how wonderful she is with the business. But I just need her to know that I really am sorry. Nothing can repair the damage I’ve done here. I turn to JB’s parents and bid them au revoir. I’m unlikely to see them again. I say the same to JB. I want to hug him and tell him how proud I am of the dad he’s become. There is so much more I want to say to Stephanie, how I wish her all the luck and love in the world, and how proud I am of the person she is and wish I was more like her.
But I can’t say any more. I can’t speak for the lump in my throat. Instead I nod, walk towards the door and open it. JB holds it as I step outside into the wild, windy, warm afternoon. I feel like I’ve been picked up and spun around – I’m not sure which way I’ll end up facing when the mistral leaves again. I hold my arm over my eyes and walk down the path, hoping Fabien hasn’t deserted me altogether for my foolish behaviour.
‘Del,’ I hear faintly. ‘Del!’ It’s Stephanie’s voice. I turn back. She’s standing at the door. I walk towards her. She steps outside under the porch, pulling the door to behind her.
‘Del, wasn’t it you who said that everyone deserves a second chance? You gave me one when I stole from you. You gave me a second chance, no questions asked, no looking back. But you said there wouldn’t be a third!’ she says firmly.
‘Yes, I know. But I thought—’
‘Everyone deserves a second chance, you said.’
I nod. I did.
‘I’m giving you a second chance,’ she says, and a smile pulls at her lips, ‘but there won’t be a third!’
Did I hear her right?
‘I accept your apology,’ she says. ‘I understand why you might have thought it was me, why you asked me. The money was in my bag, after all. I should have just told you it wasn’t me. But I was too proud.’
‘I know but—’
‘No more buts. Cora was clever. She got what she wanted.’
‘I’m not going to let her win, Stephanie. She nearly did. She nearly broke us.’ And I open my arms. This time Stephanie steps into them and I hug her, like I’m welcoming her home after a family meltdown, when things are said, and people act before they think. I should have trusted my instincts and from now on I will!
‘How did you get her to confess?�
�� she says, pulling away.
‘CCTV! The mayor had it fitted at her insistence. He was trying it out before he announced it to the town. That’s who those people were the other day when I passed them at the riverside clearing.’
‘Ha!’ Stephanie laughs and so do I. We laugh out of sheer relief as the wind whips up and around us. When the laughter dies down, I think of Mum. ‘Least said, soonest mended’: her words are loud and clear in my head, like she’s right here with me.
‘Come home, please?’ I say.
I watch her face as she considers her answer.
SIXTY
‘Room for a few more?’ I ask Fabien, as we run back to the truck having packed up all of the little family’s belongings. JB’s elderly parents are delighted to get their home back but they, JB and Stephanie promise to visit each other and not to be strangers. They thank me for keeping an eye on the three of them and for finding JB work. Looks like bridges have been built here too. They have a grandson and an almost-daughter-in-law as well as their son now.
Fabien looks as ecstatic as I feel to have got his workmate back as he ushers the dogs into the truck, while Stephanie and Tomas tuck in beside them. Tomas is delighted to be reunited with Ralph, who pants happily that his friend is back.
At Le Petit Mas, the wind begins to subside and behind it the sun shines through the clouds, pushing August aside as September rolls in. We unload the family’s belongings into the gypsy caravan. I offer them rooms in the house, now Rhi seems to be spending her time with Henri: I’m presuming her room is free. But once again they refuse: they prefer the caravan. I’m sure one day they’ll need something bigger but for now that space is theirs and they love it. The three of them together.
Finally Fabien and I walk back to his truck, unspoken words filling the air. The wind settles and I hold my face to the sun, feeling its strength. It’s time I told Fabien everything, this time without interruption. I open my eyes and look at him.
‘Fabien, about last night at the riverside clearing,’ I say, wanting him to understand I never meant to hurt him.
‘Oui,’ he says sadly.
‘Oh, my God! The riverside – dinner! I completely forgot. We have to get there! There will be people waiting to eat!’
‘Get in the truck,’ he says.
‘No, it’s quicker down the river path,’ I say. ‘I’ll run.’
‘I’ll get the food and meet you there,’ he says.
‘Stephanie!’ I call.
‘Oui?’
‘Service! At the riverside!’
‘Merde!’ She runs out of the copse of trees.
‘Language, Stephanie,’ I say, and feel everything slip back into place, as if I am a big sister, an aunt, a friend – who knows what I am? It feels very special. It doesn’t need a label. It just feels like family.
When we see the riverside clearing, we slow down, Stephanie and I. JB has gone with Fabien. We’re out of breath when we come to a complete standstill. The fairy lights are on, the firepit is lit.
Cora is standing there, as are her two friends, but they’re not beside her. There’s a big crowd and, if I’m not mistaken, the mayor is there too. The hatch is open and there is Henri, his hair tied back in its usual ponytail, with Rhi. Everyone is welcoming him back and shaking his hand. Alain and Lou are laying out the cutlery and paper plates. Lavender, in washed tin cans on the makeshift tables, fills the warm evening air with its scent.
Stephanie and I walk up to Cora side by side.
‘You won’t stop this happening, Cora,’ I say, as she stares at me.
‘We all have a right to be here, no matter how much or little money we have,’ says Stephanie, and I’m filled with pride again at the confident young woman she has become.
‘I know.’ Cora drops her head. ‘I’m sorry. I’ve come to help out, if you’ll have me. My way of making amends, so to speak.’
‘We welcome everybody here, Cora, rich or poor. We are a community. We have to look out for each other,’ says the mayor, unwittingly using her own words back at her.
‘We all deserve a second chance, don’t we, Del?’ says Stephanie, nudging me.
I have a lot to learn from this young woman. ‘We do, Stephanie.’ I smile, and out of the corner of my eye I see Fabien appearing from the other side of the clearing wearing his leather jacket, with JB and Tomas behind him. I just wish there was a way that he and I could have another chance, but I know we can’t. I drag my eyes from him and back to Cora.
‘We all deserve a second chance, Cora.’
‘But not a third!’ Stephanie and I say together.
Her friend takes her off to start washing up, bickering about who washes and who dries.
‘Ladies and gentlemen,’ says the mayor, ‘in English so all our guests and residents can understand. I am happy to be here tonight, welcoming you all back to the riverside clearing and the wonderful meal that awaits you.’ There is a cheer. ‘And more than that, to welcome back the man who has been here for you all and set this up at the very beginning. Henri!’ Everyone gives a loud cheer and claps.
Henri holds up a hand and quietens the crowd. ‘Merci, merci,’ he says. ‘But I am in fact here for only one night. After tonight, I shall be hanging up my apron.’ The crowd is very quiet now. ‘But, don’t worry, I am hoping to find a replacement before I go. I want to leave you in good hands, the best in fact.’ He looks at me and raises an eyebrow. Everyone turns to me. I’m very nervous. Could I say yes and stay here, knowing that Fabien and I are never going to be together? I’m not sure I could, seeing him every day and knowing I’m not with him. Watching him meet someone new and bring up a family with her. I want to say yes to Henri, but my heart is torn in two. I would love to run the bistro. I wonder what my younger self would have said? I look at Stephanie, who smiles, and I know exactly what my younger self would have said: ‘Of course!’
But I’m not my younger self, and I don’t want to stand in the way of Fabien moving on in his own life, in his own town. What should I do?
‘This is your home as much as anyone else’s,’ Henri says, as if reading my thoughts. ‘Will you be my business partner?’
Could I walk out on all this now? Could I walk out on Stephanie and Tomas? I don’t think so.
I nod, and the crowd cheers.
‘Now, à table, dinner is served,’ says Henri, one last time, and rings a little brass bell by the counter. The diners slowly move towards the serving hatch. And Fabien comes to me. Is he upset that I’ve decided to stay? Cross that he will have to see me, after I’ve hurt him?
‘Del!’ It’s Lou and Alain, hand in hand. She’s waving at me. She barely has a scrap of makeup on, her face tanned, freckled and happy.
‘Del!’
Fabien stops in his tracks. I just hope he’ll still be there when I’ve spoken to Lou. I owe him an apology and must tell him I’ll try to stay out of his way.
‘You two look happy!’ I smile.
‘We are!’ Lou says, and Alain’s beautiful smooth face beams too. ‘Alain and I, we’re … Well, I’m going to stay on in France.’
‘Oh, that’s lovely news,’ I say and hug her.
‘Not with you. We’re going to get somewhere of our own. And we’ll look for a business. A small house with some land, so we can grow things and sell at market.’
For a moment I’m dumbstruck. Lou, my friend who hasn’t committed to any relationship since her husband died and who hasn’t worked in years, let alone ever got her hands really dirty, is going to look for a smallholding to buy with Alain.
‘Aren’t you pleased?’ She seems crestfallen.
‘Pleased? I’m stunned and delighted!’ I throw my arms around her again and the fragrant-smelling Alain.
‘He’s loved working on the lavender plants so much that we want to do something ourselves,’ she says. I can’t believe how much my dear friend has changed in such a short time. ‘We’ll be neighbours. We don’t want to go too far,’ she says.
‘And you’re
welcome to stay on at Le Petit Mas until you’re sorted,’ I say. ‘In the barn or the house, whichever suits.’
Alain smiles. ‘I’d like that. In the house would be very acceptable, thank you,’ he says.
He’s finally able to move back into a bed, alongside Lou, and they’re making a new life for themselves, putting the hurt of the past behind them.
‘Now go and eat,’ I tell them. ‘If I know Henri, there’ll be plenty.’
Fabien is talking to the mayor. He sees me and beckons for me to join him on the river path once more. I nod. And as I do, Carine is there. ‘Chérie!’ she says. ‘I’ve found you at last!’
‘Carine!’ I look for Fabien, who shakes his head and laughs.
‘I wanted to tell you. I have made my decision,’ she says quietly, against the hubbub of contented diners, cicadas, and the frogs in the distance. The sun is setting, silhouetting the cypress, pine and oak around us as summer draws to its end. The bats are flying in and out of the trees across the water, catching their evening meal of midges. I hold my breath.
‘I’m keeping the baby, Del,’ she says, and I let out a sigh of relief. ‘I saw Stephanie with Tomas, how much she loves him, and him her.’
‘I’m so pleased. For what it’s worth I think it’s the right decision,’ I say.
‘I know how lucky I am to have this chance. You made me understand that,’ she says. ‘It may not happen again.’
I nod.
‘And the mayor?’ I raise my eyebrows.
‘We’ve talked. We are going to end our affair. I’ve been wrong. I thought it put everything in its place, but it doesn’t. It just messes everything up for everybody.’
‘Oh!’
‘He’s going to support me and the baby. But we will keep it to ourselves and he will spend more time with his wife from now on.’
Not an ideal situation, but better than the alternative.
‘Maybe it’s time I let a little disorganization into my life for once,’ she says, putting a hand to her stomach. ‘Oh, and look at this!’ She thrusts her phone at me. ‘I had a new instruction today!’ I look down at the photograph of a house for sale. Cora’s house. ‘She’s going home,’ says Carine. I smile and kiss her on both cheeks, then turn to see if Fabien is still waiting for me. But he isn’t. He’s gone.
