by Kahlen Aymes
He stilled for a moment as my muscles spasmed around him. One of our hands were still entwined and he reached for the other one. He pulled both of them over my head as he began to thrust, slowly in and out.
“You feel so good. So good,” he said into the curve of my neck, then pulled back, watching my face as he pulled out then thrust forward again. I closed my eyes as he bent to kiss me. We kissed and moved together, our bodies sweaty and sliding together for several minutes. Ben’s breathing got shallow and his grip on my hands tightened. He was close.
He changed the angle of his thrusts, using his pubic bone to push into me just right, pushing me over the edge with him. “Oh, Ben,” I cried.
“That’s perfect. Come on… Marin,” he moaned. “Oh God.”
We clung together, even as our orgasms overtook us. He kept kissing me, the kisses still deep and worshiping, his hips kept thrusting gently until the last shudder was milked from me.
As our breathing softened, he let go of my hands and raised up on his elbows, staring down at me. Both of his hands stroked my hair back off of both sides of my face.
He was still inside me and I never wanted to let him go. My arms and legs caged him in. Emotions overcame me and tears stung at the back of my eyes. He bent to place one languid kiss on my open mouth, then another softer one at the corner of my lips.
“That was amazing,” he said softly. “You are perfect.”
I reached up and laid a hand against his cheek. My throat hurt preventing me from speaking. I wanted to tell him how wonderful I thought he was. I wanted to tell him that I never wanted to spend another day without him. I wanted to tell him that I’d never felt like this… that I loved him.
Gem began barking in the distance. Her little voice far away.
“Oh shit,” Ben exclaimed, pulling out of me and quickly getting to his feet.
He found my panties and handed them to me. He removed the condom and looked at a loss with what to do with it. It was almost funny. He dropped it on the floor, then buckled up his pants. “I’ll get that later.” He grinned. “Wait here. I’ll see what she’s barking at.”
I scurried into my panties and shorts after rolling off his shirt and tossing it to him. I hoped it wasn’t too wrinkled or full of hay.
“Who is it?” I whispered. “Is someone here?”
Gem continued to bark.
“It’s okay, Gem,” a female voice said.
“Oh, crap,” I squeaked in a whisper. “It’s Gina!”
“Stay here,” he whispered. “I’ll handle it.”
“Marin?” Gina called from the other end of the barn.
Ben threw on his shirt in a mad haste. “Hey, Gina!” he called, leaving the stall in a rush.
I crawled to the corner so she wouldn’t see me. I didn’t know why we were hiding, except that I’d told Ben I didn’t want to hurt her.
“Ben! What are you doing here?”
“I’m helping Marin muck out the stalls.”
“Should you be doing that? With your injury?”
“I’m fine. Marin’s taking a nap in the house.”
“Well, you’re just the person I wanted to see, anyway. I realized that I didn’t get a chance to give you my number last night, so this must be fate.”
I held my breath, straining to hear the conversation taking place down at the other end of the barn. Whatever he said next would be telling.
“Yeah. Listen… about that. I’m really a dick because I’m kind of into someone else and I wasn’t sure where that was going. I thought since it was up in the air, I could be open to other things, but the truth is… I’m just not.”
I couldn’t help being thrilled by his words, yet I knew how they must have devastated Gina. A silence of several seconds ensued.
“Oh,” Gina answered finally. “Marin?”
“Yes.”
“But… her boyfriend just died. The other night… she set the evening up for me to meet you.”
“I know. She doesn’t know how I feel about her, but I’m just… I just have to give her some time and then I can see if we have a shot.”
“Boy, do I feel dumb.” I could hear the embarrassment strain her voice. Clearly, she was hurt. “Well… don’t tell Marin I stopped by, okay?”
“Sure. I’m really sorry about this.”
I sat as still as a stone until a couple of minutes later Ben’s head popped over the top of the stall. “She left.”
He disappeared again, then Gem’s little black face appeared in his stead. He was obviously holding her up. “Hey, mommy!” Ben took on a falsetto voice, pretending to be the puppy. “Mommy! Come out and play! I missed you!”
I rose and took her from Ben, cuddling her close, but I felt withdrawn from the closeness we’d just shared. Gemmy licked my face a hundred miles an hour. Ben opened the stall door so I could walk out and join him in the corridor, closing it behind me. “Are you sure Gina is gone?” I asked.
“Why are you so worried about it? We didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t cheat on anyone, and neither did I. Just tell her the truth.”
“What’s the truth?” I asked, stoically.
“You tell me,” he said, irritated, and began to walk out of the barn. “You tell me.”
“Ben! Where are you going?” I called after him, my voice echoing in the empty space. How stupid I was to let my insecurities belittle what had happened between us. I groaned.
He turned and stopped. “I’m going to let Siri and the little man into the pasture, after that… I don’t know what I’m doing. I thought I was spending the day with you, but not if you’re ashamed of us.”
Gem wiggled in my arms, anxious to get down. I put her on the floor, and she ran after Ben.
“That’s not it at all! Please, come back.” I hated to see him upset and it hurt something deep inside of me. “I don’t know what I’m afraid of. I’m sorry.”
He was angry and I understood why. If only Gina hadn’t shown up when she did then the day would have been perfect.
“I care about you, Marin. Did you think that after we had sex it would change anything? Did you think I wouldn’t want you anymore or that I’d stop coming around?”
“Of course, not.” I started walking toward him as quickly as I could.
“Good, because it’s just the opposite. I only want you more.”
I flushed at his words. The truth was, I was concerned that people would be suspicious of Carter’s death if I moved on too soon and the ink was barely dry on the fire commissioner’s report. That, and the people who knew me or knew my uncle might think I was too easy… “I – I…” I began, struggling to explain.
“Because I’m not him, Marin. Get that through your head, right now.” He bent and picked up Gemmy, clearly exasperated. “Come on, girl.” Ben stopped to face me. “I’m taking the dog with me into town,” he stated, a disgruntled expression souring his face.
I sucked in a deep breath and walking out of the barn determined to make things better, hoping to stop Ben from walking away. I had a bad feeling inside my chest watching him go, but he was already striding across the yard and into the pasture to yank open the door to Siri’s stall with his free hand. Siri and Dark emerged and trotted happily off across the pasture, Dark kicking his back legs behind him and prancing around in the sunshine.
Ben then proceeded to open all of the outside doors to the stalls on the west side of the barn before disappearing around the back to repeat the action on the east side. The horses all came out into the pastures.
He was still carrying Gem as he emerged then walked toward his truck, not even glancing in my direction. He opened the passenger door and put her inside before going around and getting behind the wheel. The truck rumbled to life and he backed out and started down the lane as I stood frozen in place.
An emptiness settled into my chest and a sadness engulfed my heart as I watched his truck disappear from my property. I sighed shakily and dropped my head, putting my fingers to my temple, contempla
ting my next move.
I’d make a delicious meal, and tonight, show him what he meant to me, then try to explain. I needed to convince Ben that he was the farthest thing from Carter, but also to understand. Would I have to tell him everything? Would he think I killed Carter on purpose? I suddenly realized that Ben’s opinion of me was truly the most important thing.
BEN
Missy left a message on my cell phone indicating her family would be coming next Friday, though Chase who had a game on Saturday, would join afterward.
I should be excited, but the weird fight with Marin left me unsettled. I felt like shit all morning and thought I wanted to call my sister back, but I needed to get things straight with Marin first. I wanted my family to visit either way, but it would be a big disappointment to the kids if horseback riding was off the table. If I didn’t make it right with her, I’d be distracted.
Frustration gripped my chest which made me inhale deeply. I filled my lungs to capacity in an effort to rid myself of the restriction. If only Gina wouldn’t have shown up when she did. The interruption only pointed out that Marin seemed ashamed of what happened between us when I was floating on air. Was she worried about how things would look if she started seeing a new man so soon after the last one died, or worse, was she still dealing with softer feelings for that bastard? Her reticence would have been expected if it weren’t for the abuse, but it still pissed me off. I should have been more understanding, but I’d never felt this way about a woman. It was new and exciting, and I didn’t want to hold back.
Somehow, I’d managed to shower, shave, change, and throw a few things into a bag. I wasn’t sure if I’d be staying over again, but I threw it in the back of my truck just in case. Gemmy was oblivious to the turmoil of my emotions, sitting on the passenger seat and trying to look out the window as best she could. She was just tall enough where her chin was at the window’s bottom edge. I kept it closed because I didn’t want her to fall out and was blasting the A/C instead, adjusting the blowers to land on her. She seemed to be enjoying the cool breeze that it created and was a good little rider. Gem was just another thing I’d lose if Marin told me to take a hike.
“Damn it,” I muttered under my breath, glancing in her direction. “You’re my little baby, now, aren’t you, honey? Yeah.”
If this was what being in love felt like, then it sucked. Sure, that rush of intense passion and emotion felt amazing, but this… the sudden pain over a small disagreement and this awful fear over losing the relationship was debilitating and unexpected.
I didn’t want to come off like an asshole, so could I smooth things over without looking like a jerk? I could suck it up and blow it off, but I needed to know if she still loved Carter, or we couldn’t move forward. I needed to have that conversation with her no matter what happened.
Maybe I was howling at the moon. Maybe Marin just needed someone… anyone, and I just happened to be the one in front of her. The thought only made me feel worse.
“Ugggghhhhhh!” I yelled, startling the pup. “Oh, sorry, baby.” I reached over and ruffled her little head. Gem answered with a furious wag of her tail and an attempt to crawl onto my lap. I lifted her and plopped her on top of my thighs, holding her loosely with one hand and steering with the other. “It won’t be long until you won’t fit here, so don’t get used to this, little bit.”
Fifteen minutes later, I’d made my way out of Jackson and my truck was lumbering down the gravel lane on my way back to the ranch. It was still late morning, but it was beginning to get hot outside.
When I got out of the truck, I let Gem down to the ground and decided to top off the water in both of the outside horse toughs. When I rounded the corner of the building, I saw Marin in the paddock with Siri and Dark. I slowed my approach to observe. It occurred to me that Gem might start barking and startle them both. I wondered how she’d managed to separate the mare and her foal from the other horses in the pasture.
“Come on, Dark,” she murmured, reaching out her hand slowly. “Tkk tkk tkk,” she made a sound by clicking her tongue on her teeth. Marin started to run her hand softly over the tiny horse’s neck. “There we are,” Marin said. “I won’t hurt you, see? You can trust me.”
She continued to work with him, and I stood mesmerized as she gained his trust and on the third attempt was able to get the halter over his nose and then buckle it behind his ears, scratching with a couple of fingers to distract him. She spoke so softly that I couldn’t hear what she said but Dark’s ears perked and turned toward her.
“There!” Marin said happily, petting his back and scratching his neck with her fingernails. He appeared to really enjoy her ministrations. “Now you have a bridle just like your mommy! That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
Marin had a knack with the horses. Siri neighed behind her and the stunning young woman turned toward the mare. The big red and black horse came forward and rested her chin on Marin’s shoulder in what appeared to be a short of hug. Marin’s arms flew up around her neck to return the embrace. “I love you, too, Siri. You don’t have to be jealous of your baby. You’re still my girl.” Marin kissed the large horse’s head on the cheek, then her eyes landed on me.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you,” I said calmly.
“No, that’s okay. Did you see?” Her beautiful face lit up and my heart literally stopped inside my chest. “I got Dark’s bridle on! Now I’ll be able to work with him because I can attach a lead.” Her face lit up with her excitement. “Isn’t that incredible?”
“Yes,” I nodded, pleased that Marin apparently put our disagreement on the back burner so we could enjoy the moment. “Can I touch him?” I asked hopefully.
Nodding, she reached out and took hold of Dark’s bridle, holding it lightly. “Sure,” she held up a hand and motioned for me to come closer. “Just approach slowly.”
Gem was wagging her tail furiously and started to whine as she scampered around at my feet, so I glanced at Marin. “Will Gemmy be okay if I leave her out here? She can run under the fence easy enough.”
“I’ll hold her, if she barks then Dark will get spooked. Give her to me then take the bridle.”
I bent to lift Gem as Marin showed me the part of the leather to hold under Dark’s chin. We made the transition without a hitch; me passing Gem over and taking hold of Dark’s bridle in one motion. “Just pet him lightly and keep your voice low. Sweettalk him. He has no reason to fear humans and will soon learn we aren’t going to hurt him.”
I smiled as I nodded. “Hey, little man. Remember me?” I said softly near his ear. I had to bend down a little because the horse was so small, and I was tall. Siri snorted her approval from behind me.
At first, Dark pulled away and gave a strong nod to try to jerk free, but my fingers tightened around the thin strap preventing him from moving away, as I stroked down his neck with the other hand. “Shhhh… You’re okay. You’re okay. I’m not going to hurt you, Dark.”
The black coat was soft and shiny, his mane short, and his tail was like a bushy hairbrush. I smiled happily as I started to pet him, and he relaxed little by little. Siri neighed and moved a few feet away. Marin had walked in the opposite direction, toward the fence and stepped outside the paddock, finally letting the squirming puppy down.
“Stay out here, Gem,” she commanded. “Mommy doesn’t want you to get kicked in the head.” Marin took a seat, sitting legs crossed in the grass near the gate and Gem pranced over and crawled onto her lap, laying down in a small round ball that fit perfectly in the cradle Marin’s bent legs created.
I glanced up from the colt to where Marin sat watching through the spaces in the fence and gate. “Now what do I do?” I asked, perplexed with a soft chuckle.
Marin laughed out loud. “Nothing! Let him go and see if he hangs out close by. Just give him some time to get used to you. It won’t take long and then he’ll come when we call him. Just like Siri does.”
I dropped my hand from the bridle but kept petting him, sliding a
hand up to scratch behind his ears. He took a step closer and butted my arm with his nose. “This is so great!” A bright smile split my face and I almost didn’t notice the blistering sun beating down on me. “He’s adorable.”
“He’s beautiful,” Marin beamed.
After about fifteen minutes of my hanging out with the horses Marin called out to me.
“Before you arrived, I was going to set up a sprinkler in one of the pastures for the horses. Wanna help me? It’s getting hot so I thought they’d like to walk around under the spray. They loved it last time I did it. That’s unless you’re still mad at me?” she asked sheepishly. I could see the regret in her face and instantly I felt like an ass for getting upset before.
“No, I’m not mad and I’d love to help!” I agreed happily, pleased the unease that had clouded my morning faded away. Once more Marin surprised me. Who else would think to consider how uncomfortable horses were in the hottest part of the day? “Should we use the hose near the trough?”
“Yeah, it’s long enough. I’ll go get the sprinkler from the barn and be right back.” She scooted the puppy off of her lap before she stood and disappeared around the front of the barn. I went toward the spigot and started to gather up the hose and pulling it away from the trough and further into the pasture.
Marin reappeared with the sprinkler and handed it to me over the top rung of the fence. It didn’t take long before I attached it and set it down as far into the pasture as the hose would allow.
“Move if you don’t wanna get wet!” Marin shouted from her place near the spigot. Her hand was on the lever and she pulled. Instantly, water shot up from the sprinkler, catching me in its spray.
“Hey!” I protested at the same time I dodged the spray, running quickly toward her, though I still got squirted with enough water to drench the back of my shirt. Gem barked and tried to run toward the rotating sprinkler when I opened the gate, but I bent to catch her and scoop her up. “Sorry, sweet face. You’ll get stomped and I can’t have that!”
