Choosing You

by Stacy Finz

  She rooted through her purse for her phone, opened up her picture gallery, and brought up a photo of Ethan, Roni and her on vacation in Hawaii. Roni had been barely four years old. Her little belly round as Buddha’s in her pink polka-dot bikini. Looking at her made Joey’s heart swell. She missed being a family and the life she’d taken for granted before the pills. Before everything fell apart.

  More time passed and she started feeling silly for waiting. For what, a fleeting glance of her daughter tucked between Ethan and Alma before they were gone? She nosed out of the illegal space where she’d parked her car and started for home.

  Maybe if she asked real nice Ethan would let her have dinner on a weeknight with Roni at the Circle D. Maybe he would even be there too.

  * * * *

  That night Brynn put Henry to bed, praying that he would actually sleep. They were both so nervous about tomorrow that it had been difficult getting through the day without having an anxiety attack. Twice, she’d almost picked up the phone to call Ethan for reassurance.

  The last thing a busy surgeon needed was a pain-in-the-ass mother who needed hand holding. She’d gone over the instructions, which were basic. Henry couldn’t eat after midnight. Ethan explained the procedure step by step, so she didn’t know what she was getting herself all worked up about.

  She fixed herself a cup of tea and tried to read a romance novel she picked up in the airport but had never opened. The phone rang and she jumped, then looked at caller ID. Lexi. Thank God.

  “Hey, Lex, what’re you doing up so late?” It was midnight in New York and Lexi was an early riser.

  “As if I’d go to bed without talking to you first. I just got home. How’s Henry?”

  “All things considered, good. You were out?” Lexi was a workaholic but she was also a homebody. Brynn had to beg and plead to get her to meet her for a drink after eight o’clock.

  “You don’t want to know.”

  “A date with someone from that matchmaker site?” Brynn took her tea to the sofa. This was just the distraction she needed. “Well, how was it?”

  “Let’s put it this way: I’d trade places with Henry tomorrow over another date with this guy.”

  Brynn curled up with one of the throw pillows under her head. “That bad, huh?”

  “So bad that I excused myself in the restaurant to use the bathroom and never went back.”

  “Seriously? Do you think he’s still sitting there? Come on, what was so horrible about him?”

  “He talked about himself incessantly. It would’ve been one thing if he was interesting . . . He gave me the entire synopsis of a book he someday plans to write. It’s a really bad book, Brynn. Enough about my excruciating date, tell me everything.”

  “There’s nothing more that you don’t already know. Except my parents want to come now.”

  “Oh shit.”

  Brynn sighed. “I don’t have the heart to tell them that they’re too high maintenance.”

  “I do. Want me to call ‘em?”

  “Yeah, sort of . . . no. I’ll come up with an excuse. It’s a difficult time for my father anyway. And Henry doesn’t need my mother hovering. He’s got me.”

  “Want me to come, Brynn? Fuck this deal. It’s taking too long anyway. I could be there by tomorrow night and Uber to that little town where you’re staying in time to tuck Henry in.”

  “Uber?” Brynn laughed. “You’d die here, Lex. There’s no takeout and the nearest Blue Bottle is more than two-hundred miles away. Seriously, you’d go into cardiac arrest.”

  “You said there are cowboys. Are they single?”

  “I don’t know. But you should see Henry’s doctor.”

  “The surgeon? The one with the ranch and the cottage?”

  “Uh-huh,” she said and immediately wished she hadn’t mentioned Ethan. Brynn told Lexi almost everything but she felt weird discussing Henry’s doctor like a high school girl with a crush. “Wait to come, Lex. Henry and I may need you more after the second surgery.”

  Ethan had made it clear that the stem cell procedure was by no means a guarantee. They were taking a leap of medical faith and if it didn’t work out as well as Brynn prayed it would, she’d need moral support. Perhaps even her parents.

  “Whatever you need you know I’m here for you.”

  “That’s why I love you.”

  They talked more about Lexi’s real estate deal and by the time Brynn hung up, her anxiety level had faded to a dull niggle. She slept through the night without having a panic attack and woke the next morning ready to put Henry in Ethan’s capable hands.

  Henry came into the kitchen, reached into the cupboard for the box of Cheerios.

  “Baby, remember what Dr. Daniels said? You can’t eat until after your surgery. I’m sorry. But later, we’ll go anywhere you want for dinner.” She smoothed his hair away from his forehead. He really did need a trim. “In the meantime, let’s get you into something warmer.” He’d emerged from his bedroom in a thin T-shirt and jeans.

  She found a sweater from the carton of clothes Zena sent, tugged it over his head, and grabbed a pair of socks from the dresser drawer. “Put these on and your tennis shoes. We’ve got to get going if we want to make it on time.”

  To Henry’s credit, he didn’t complain and followed Brynn out to the car. They made it to the hospital in less than an hour. She tried to block out the institutional smells and sounds as they navigated the maze to the OR. Henry was taken immediately into an exam room where Brynn helped him undress and put on a hospital gown.

  She was sitting next to Henry’s gurney, trying to distract him with a childhood story about her appendectomy when Ethan came in. He had on green surgical scrubs and seeing him instantly bolstered her confidence. It was a lot to put on one person. He was a doctor after all, not a superhero. And yet, the anxiety that had been eating away at her subsided the second he walked in the door.

  “How is everyone this morning?” Ethan winked at Henry but Brynn got the distinct impression that the question was for her.

  “Good,” Henry said. “But I’m hungry.”

  “Sorry, buddy. When this is over we’ll order you up a pizza. How does that sound?”

  “With pepperoni?”

  “You bet.” Ethan turned, taking Brynn in for the first time since he walked into the room. “How’s Mom holding up?”

  Better now that you’re here.

  “I’m fine. How long will the surgery take?” He’d told her earlier but now she couldn’t remember.

  “About an hour.” He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

  In theory, an hour wasn’t that long. But as Brynn sat in the waiting room, watching the clock, each second seemed to take an eternity to tick by. She tried to remind herself that this wasn’t a life-saving measure, and attempted to pass the time by reading a long memo from Layla on her phone about the Barnes Group’s newest client. But she had trouble retaining any of the information. Instead, she returned a text to her mother with an update.

  “Still waiting.”

  Finally, at a little after one, Ethan emerged in the waiting room with a face mask hanging around his neck, a scrub cap on his head and surgical booties. He gave Brynn a double thumbs up. She rose so fast that she nearly dumped the contents of her open purse on the floor.

  “He’s still out and is on his way to the recovery room. A nurse will take you back there in a little bit. Everything went well and we got what we needed. We’ll see how he responds in the next two hours. If he’s feeling okay, we’ll clear him for takeoff and let him get that pizza.”

  “Okay. Thank you.”

  “Brynn”—he was back to using her first name—“for the next five days or so don’t be surprised if Henry has trouble sitting and sleeping on his side. His hip will hurt. We’ll stick with Tylenol for now . . . see how he does. Maybe sponge baths for the first
few days, so he doesn’t get the bandage wet. Other than that, he can go back to his regular routine. Next Wednesday, we’ll transplant the stem cells into both breaks and wait.”

  Wait.

  She had never been good at waiting.

  “Brynn?” He cocked his head to one side. “Breathe. We’re halfway there.”

  “I’m trying.” She forced a smile but her eyes filled with tears. A man sitting across from them eavesdropped while pretending to be reading a book.

  “Let’s step in here for a second.” Ethan ushered her into a small conference space off the waiting room and shut the door.

  “I’m sorry.” She searched her purse for the small packet of tissues she always carried. “I was fine and then . . . Please don’t think I’m a drama queen.” She thought of Marlo Thomas and the St. Jude commercials, the kids dying of cancer, and wanted to smack herself.

  “I don’t think you’re a drama queen, Brynn. If I was in your position I’d be reacting the same way.” He took her hand and held it in his much larger one. It was warm and strong and even a little calloused and she wanted to hold on for as long as he would let her. “Henry’s a great kid. He’s going to come through this just fine.”

  “I’m the one who’s going to have a heart attack.” She laughed, trying to make a joke of it.

  “You’ve got a lot on your plate. How about talking with one of the hospital social workers?”

  “Oh no. I’m okay, really I am. I think mostly this is relief you’re seeing.” She took another swipe at her eyes with the tissue. “It’s been a lot. These past eight months . . . I’m still adjusting.” For some reason she didn’t want to say grieving. “Henry is such a little trooper and I’m . . . babbling.”

  “Nah, you’re stressed is all. When was the last time you ate?”

  Now that she thought about it, she’d skipped breakfast along with Henry. “Dinner. I’ll grab something as soon as I see Henry.”

  Ethan let go of her hand to glance at his watch. She wanted to grab it back. “I’ll take you to recovery myself.”

  She followed him through a long, narrow hallway, behind a room walled off by a curtain. There lay Henry under a heap of blankets, looking so small it put a lump in Brynn’s throat.

  “Hi, baby.”

  He lifted his eyelids for a second, then they fluttered closed. She moved closer and tucked the blankets around him tighter.

  “He’ll be in and out of it for a little while.” Ethan pulled up a chair for her. “A nurse will be in to check on him. And I’ll be back before he’s discharged.”

  Brynn wished he would stay but wasn’t foolish enough to think Henry was his only patient. Her fixation on Dr. Daniels was getting absurd. She’d only met him less than a week ago and he was Henry’s doctor for God’s sake. A kind, compassionate surgeon. And here she was, mistaking her gratitude for something else. Wasn’t that a cliché? The patient falling for the doctor?

  “We’ll be here,” she said.

  He returned thirty minutes later, said something to Henry’s nurse, and handed Brynn a protein bar. “Eat.”

  She unwrapped the bar and obeyed. The truth was she was starved. “Thank you. Do you have more surgeries scheduled for today?”

  “Nope, just Henry’s. I promised Roni I’d be home early enough to take her to dinner. Tuesdays are our going out night. But yesterday she was in a play at her school and there was a party afterward. So I promised we’d make up for dinner today.”

  “Did she have a big part?” Brynn glanced at Henry to see if he was still sleeping.

  “Nah. Pretty much the whole elementary school was in it. The first graders were all flowers. She was a damned good petunia, though.” Ethan reached over her and gave Henry a gentle nudge. “You up yet, buddy?”

  Henry murmured something and his eyes fluttered. Brynn could tell it was taking effort for him to keep them open.

  “You did great, Henry.”

  “Hi, Mom. Is it over?”

  “It sure is. How are you feeling?”

  Henry tried to sit up but could only manage coming partly up on his elbows. “Good I guess,” he said in a sleepy voice. “I’m thirsty.”

  Brynn looked to Ethan and he nodded. There was a plastic pitcher of water on the bed table. She poured a half cup and gave Henry a sip from a straw.

  “Not too fast, baby.”

  When he finished drinking his head fell back on the pillow. “Can we go home now?”

  Brynn wasn’t sure if Henry meant the cottage or New York. “Soon,” was all she said.

  “As soon as the anesthesia wears off and we’re sure there are no side effects, I’ll release you, buddy. Then you can get that pizza.”

  “Will you come with us, Dr. Daniels?”

  “Oh, Henry, Dr. Daniels has his own plans.”

  Henry looked up at Ethan. “Can’t you come? Please.”

  “Sweetheart, Dr. Daniels has his family . . . Veronica. Maybe another time. Besides, let’s see how you feel before committing to a pizza.” Brynn had stocked up on soup, worried that Henry’s stomach would be a little off from the anesthesia.

  Ethan leaned against the wall. Even in his scrubs, his loose-limbed stance reminded her of a cowboy. “I could pick up a pizza on my way home and the four of us can eat at the cottage.”

  “We don’t want to impose,” Brynn protested. Henry had put Ethan on the spot and he was too nice of a man to say no.

  “No imposition,” he said in a low voice that made Brynn wonder if he didn’t want any of the nurses roaming the floor to hear. “We’ve got to eat and Roni loves pizza. How about seven? I don’t have any more surgeries but I still have a few patients. It’ll allow me time to get home and clean up. That work?”

  “Yes, of course. But are you sure? We really don’t want to impose.” She held his gaze, trying to silently convey that while thankful for the offer there was no obligation for him to have dinner with them. He’d already gone above and beyond, including the horse and barn outing and the small fact that he was her and Henry’s salvation.

  “I’ll see you at seven.” He walked out, leaving no doubt that their dinner plans were final. Not that she’d put up that big of a fight.

  Chapter 8

  Ethan stood at the door, juggling two large pizza boxes and a container of salad. “Knock, Roni.”

  His daughter, who couldn’t do anything halfway, pounded on the door. Brynn answered in a pair of exercise pants and a blue sweater that matched her eyes. He continued standing there, maybe gawking, until it got awkward and finally went in.

  “I don’t think they’re hot anymore.” He put the pizzas down on the counter. It had been more than an hour since he’d picked them up at Giovanni’s in Reno, drove home, showered and changed.

  “No worries. I’ll just reheat them.” She set the temperature and popped both boxes in the oven.

  “How’s Henry?” He looked around the room and found that Roni had joined Henry on the couch to watch a Nickelodeon show.

  “Good, I think. The pain meds probably haven’t worn off yet, though.”

  When they did, Henry would feel pain from the area where Ethan had gone in with the needle. But he already warned them of that. No need making Brynn any more anxious than she was already.

  He walked to the back of the sofa and put his hands on Henry’s shoulders. “Looking good, partner.” He dropped a kiss on Roni’s head and went back to the kitchen where Brynn was setting the small table.

  “My guess is they’ll probably want to eat in there.” He pointedly gazed at the living room where the two kids were so absorbed in their television program that they didn’t know anyone else existed.

  “You’re probably right. I don’t usually let Henry eat in front of the TV but I suppose today would be a good day to make an allowance.”

  Brynn glanced at the sofa where Roni had
crawled under Henry’s throw blanket. “She is so adorable and so sweet to Henry. I just want to squeeze her up.”

  Ethan flashed a smile. “Not to brag but she’s a great kid.”

  “You can brag all you want about your child. Lord knows I do. Alma didn’t want to come?”

  “Alma left for Reno the minute I got home. I’m not sure but I think she may have a gentleman friend she’s seeing there.”

  Brynn got down four glasses. “Is that weird for you, uh, because of your dad?”

  “It’s been three years since my old man passed.” He shook his head. “Anything that makes her happy makes me happy. How about you? Are you working through your husband’s death?” The question was wholly inappropriate. He was her son’s doctor, not hers. He could pretend that he was merely checking into the wellbeing of Henry’s family for the sake of the boy. But his question had nothing to do with Henry.

  She sighed. “It’s complicated. We weren’t on the best of terms when he died.”

  Despite himself, he asked anyway. “How’s that?”

  “We’d grown apart and were mostly together for Henry . . . and the business. We built it together and we had a strong sense of stewardship.”

  “What’ll you do now? Run it on your own?”

  She shook her head. “We started the agency with two others. They came over with us from the Omnicom Group. Although Rich and Layla were never principals in the Barnes Group, they served as senior executives. They’ve approached me about buying in as equal partners. Although Mason had rejected that proposal in the past—he enjoyed his autonomy too much—I think they’ll leave and start their own agency if I say no. And while I’d like to protect Mason’s legacy for Henry, I don’t want to lose them.”

  “You can’t just hire senior executives, lure them away from another ad agency?” Ethan had no idea how it worked. He was only going on what he knew of other large businesses.