Fearless

by Tawdra Kandle

  Michael was sitting outside again today, and I joined him, shaking my head in quiet resignation as I looked at the trays of food. He greeted me with the smile that lit up his face, grabbed my hand and gave it a light squeeze.

  “Hey,” he said, looking up at me. “How was your morning?”

  “It was good,” I replied, realizing that it had been. “Nell isn’t here today, so that is one excellent piece of news… you don’t think she left for good, do you?”

  Michael laughed. “No, I don’t think she did. Even Nell takes a day off every now and then. I’m glad you got a break.”

  “Me, too,” I agreed with heartfelt fervor. “And not only that, I think I might be on my way to another first in my life.”

  “What’s that?” He took a big bite of the pasta on the plate in front of us.

  “I think I might be making a new friend, all on my own. Not that I don’t love Anne,” I hastened to assure him. “I do, and she’s been so terrific to me. But she’s your friend too, and for me to actually meet someone on my own makes me feel good. I sat next to Cara today in French, and we talked a little bit. I almost asked her to sit with us at lunch, but I wasn’t sure if we’d need some privacy.” I shook my head sadly as Michael leaned toward me in a mock leer. “C’mon, you know what I mean. I thought you might have some news about Amber.”

  “I knew what you meant… but you can’t blame a guy for hoping,” he sighed, then sobered. “I’m glad to hear about Cara. She seems nice. She’d probably be a good friend for you, I think. And actually, I did get a chance to talk with Amber.”

  My eyes widened. “Really? You did? I thought you were going to chicken out on that. I’m amazed.”

  “Chicken out?” Michael’s voice raised in disbelief. “That’s crazy. I told you I’d talk to her if I got the opportunity, and, well, I got the opportunity. She came into the library when I was there for independent study, and I managed to get her by herself.”

  “That must have been interesting,” I commented.

  “Oh, it was,” he agreed. “I had to turn on the charm.”

  “Ahhhh…” I nodded. “I see. So she never stood a chance.”

  “Nope,” he said smugly. “Never. Fate threw us together and gave us a study hall monitor who couldn’t care less if we talked, as long as we were quiet about it. So we did. Talk, I mean.”

  “And…?” I prompted.

  “And… apparently this friendship with Nell isn’t as new as we thought. Amber says Nell has been talking to her, asking her to sit with them at lunch, since the beginning of school. I asked her why on earth she’d want to be friends with Nell, after all the years of torture. She just kind of shrugged and looked—I don’t know, almost guilty. She said Nell explained a lot to her, and now she understands more. And she said Nell can be almost sweet.”

  I choked on the fries I was nibbling. “Sweet? Are you kidding me? Are we talking about the same girl?”

  “Yeah, I kind of felt the same way, but I covered it up. Amber says Nell has introduced her to all her friends and now, after a few years of being pretty lonely, Amber has friends. And I thought you’d find this interesting, too—Nell has gotten Amber involved in some club that your Chem. teacher runs.”

  I was surprised, but I shouldn’t have been. Whatever Nell was up to, I had a strong feeling that it involved this club.

  “Isn’t that a coincidence?” I remarked to Michael. “Ms. Lacusta invited me to join her chemistry club today.”

  Michael raised his eyebrows. “And what did you tell her?”

  I gave him an innocent look. “Why, I have to ask my parents, of course. I would never commit to something without checking it out with them.”

  “Of course,” he nodded. “Good idea. Will they back you up?”

  “Oh, I think so. I’m not joining their cozy little group, don’t worry. Ms. Lacusta creeps me out big time.”

  Michael frowned. “You think she’s involved in this, somehow?”

  I shook my head. “Not sure. But speaking of coincidences, I don’t think it’s one that Ms. Lacusta asked me about the club today, when Nell was absent.”

  “Do you think she’s afraid of Nell?”

  “Not afraid, no, but maybe she thought Nell would throw a fit if she heard her inviting me, and she wanted to avoid…” I searched for the right word. “Unpleasantness.”

  “Got it,” Michael said, nodding again.

  “So did you ask Amber about anything going on with Nell that’s scaring her?” This was the real crux of the matter, in my opinion. If Amber was stupid enough to want to pal around with a girl who used to make her life miserable, that was her business. It was her safety that concerned me, not her sanity.

  “I tried to hint around as much as possible. She starting getting real uneasy when I asked her about the chemistry club and what they do. I said that Nell strikes me as someone who’d be dangerous with chemicals, and Amber—well, she got a little freaky. She told me I didn’t know what I was talking about, and then she blew my cover.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, bewildered.

  “She said she knew Nell despises my girlfriend—that was her word, ‘despises’. She said she didn’t know what your problem was, but Nell said you were making trouble in Chemistry class. She said you blamed Nell for things that were your own fault. I couldn’t get her to give me specifics, and then she just clammed up.”

  “So do you think I’m crazy?” I asked him. “Now that you’ve talked to Amber?”

  Michael shook his head. “I never did think you were crazy,” he reminded me. “But I could tell something’s going on with Amber. When I asked her if Nell would have a problem with her talking with me—because I’m your boyfriend—” even in the midst of this, he smiled at those words,“—she got very upset. She said Nell would never believe me, that Nell trusted her, and she started shaking. And then she just got up and walked out of the room.”

  I shuddered. “So she does seem to be afraid of Nell. That fits into place.”

  Michael nodded. “Seems to.” He finished the last morsel of food on our trays. “I think we made a good start today. No matter how it ended, I hope she knows that she has someone she can talk to now, if things with Nell get too intense.”

  “She’s not the only one who’s living in fear of Nell. I picked up some interesting tidbits from Casey in Chemistry. I get the feeling that Nell’s is a reign of terror, not of love.”

  Michael frowned; something was troubling him, but it wasn’t anything he was going to share with me at the moment. He stood, stretching, and I watched him stack our trays. Lunch was almost over, and I was actually looking forward to History today, knowing Cara would be there and Nell would not. It was shaping up to be a decent afternoon.

  Michael had to work at the nursery that afternoon, so our ride home was brief. As I slid out of the car, he caught my arm and pulled me back, cupping his hand around the back of head and drawing me closer for a brief kiss.

  “I’m glad you’re feeling better today,” he murmured. “Wish I could come in with you… are you sure you don’t want to come over to the nursery with me?”

  I smiled against his lips but shook my head. “First, my mom is still a little jumpy after yesterday. She’s going to insist on an after-school nap, I just know it. And second, you know I’d only be a distraction if I went home with you. That’s not fair to your parents. I want them to like me, not resent me.”

  Michael chuckled softly. “No way they could resent you. They might harass me, but they think you’re perfect.” He caressed my neck and rubbed his nose against mine. “Of course, I tend to agree with them.”

  The glow of happiness and contentment that always appeared when I was with Michael surrounded me. I could sit in the car with him all afternoon… but reluctantly I pulled back. “You’ve got to go to work,” I reminded him.

  He sighed. “I know. I’m going. I’ll call you tonight, okay?”

  “Yeah…” I moved to the door again, and then turn
ed back. “I haven’t forgotten that you owe me a conversation from yesterday. About the occult in King, and what you didn’t want to say when we were out.”

  Michael nodded, his smile fading slightly. “I haven’t forgotten either. Can it wait until this weekend? You could come out to the nursery with me, and we could talk there. I’d rather it happen out of town.”

  “Now you’re scaring me,” I said.

  “Nothing to worry about. I’ll talk to you tonight,” he repeated. “Have a good nap.”

  I rolled my eyes at him as he drove away.