Fearless

by Tawdra Kandle

  It was the muttering that called me out of the darkness. A low level of incoherent words spoken and ideas half-formed floated around. My eyes were too heavy to open, but slowly I began to pull myself out of the mire of nothingness.

  As I became more aware, I realized that I was hearing thoughts, not spoken words. For a moment, I was confused. Who was I hearing? And where was I?

  Groggily I tried to turn my head and pain shot through me. I remembered then that I had been in the parking lot at the school… I was looking for Michael... or for Amber. Which? Why? And somehow I had gotten hurt. Tentatively I stretched my fingers slightly, expecting to feel the stones of the gravel. Instead I felt soft grass and dirt.

  I forced my eyes open, and the world was out of focus. There was light, but it was blurred and moving, and it made the pain in my head even worse. Squinting, I tried to look around without moving my head.

  The blood spells… they’re the dangerous ones, but so worth it, because of the power they release… and with her abilities, who knows what her blood will hold. Might make the spell even stronger… out of my way at the very least. Didn’t belong here anyway, outsider, not one of us. Never one of us.

  The words I heard finally cut through the last vestiges of fog in my mind. It was Nell. She was here, somewhere near me. I had been trying to save Michael from Nell’s latest plans of blood and mayhem. And I’d been standing by the car when she came from behind. I remembered her pushing me forward against the hood and then the blow to the back of my head.

  My hands groped a bit further and encountered more grass and some pine needles. The forest, then, I decided. Would she have dragged me back to the same clearing? It was possible. She’d been livid before about Michael’s male presence sullying the place, but then today she’d thought of a cleansing spell. Maybe she had performed it—without blood. Or maybe Nell was just nuts enough to convince herself it didn’t matter after all.

  I couldn’t let myself consider the other alternative. Michael wasn’t here, so I had to believe that he was alive. I didn’t hear Ms. Lacusta or sense her presence either; had she ever really been a part of this afternoon’s plans? As far as I could tell, I was alone here with Nell, which meant that it was most likely that Michael had gone to the nursery, where he would be expecting to see me later this afternoon. Relief flooded my heart; without doubt I was in a bad way, but at least I knew Michael hadn’t been sacrificed in the name of ritual cleansing.

  I tried moving my head again. The pain was still right there with me, and I sensed it wasn’t going away any time soon. But by taking it slowly, I could shift in tiny increments without passing out again.

  I caught sight of a robed figure standing in front of a pile of rocks. I knew it was Nell. My heart pounded, and I tried to calm myself enough to figure out how I could best save myself. It was pretty clear from her thoughts that I was the chosen sacrifice today. And it also sounded as though she was buying into the idea that I possessed some sort of power. I wondered if she knew what it was.

  I toyed with the idea of feigning unconsciousness for as long as I could, hoping that might buy me some time. I was growing increasingly uncomfortable on the ground; something was poking me in the back, and I tried to move. But my feet somehow didn’t seem to be obeying my mind. I couldn’t feel them at all. Wincing in agony, I lifted my head as far as I could and looked at my legs. My feet were bound tightly with rope and fastened to a large wooden stake in the ground. The knot was on the other side of the stake, beyond my reach even if I could ignore the pain long enough to sit up. The binding must have cut off my circulation, I realized, which explained why I couldn’t feel my feet.

  That was when true, mind-numbing terror took over. I was stuck here, unable to move, completely helpless against anything Nell was planning to do to me. My eyesight was still blurry, and my head throbbed; I assumed that probably meant a concussion. That really wasn’t going to matter in the long run, because Nell was going to do something to spill my blood. I was betting on her using the knife again. By the time she was finished, a concussion would be the least of my problems.

  My one good chance for rescue was the message that I’d left at the nursery. If Belinda got in touch with Marley and Luke, they would know what to do. And if Michael wasn’t here, then of course he must be there, working. He might even get the message himself and understand where I was.

  Of course, there was the possibility that Amber would alert him. When she found the note in her locker… if she found the note in her locker… would she call his parents and find out that Michael was not really in danger? Had I told her that I was coming out here by myself? My head was still fuzzy and it hurt to think that hard.

  I twisted again, trying to lean away from whatever was hurting my back. Then I froze, because at my movement, the murmurings of Nell’s mind stopped abruptly, and she turned to look at me.

  Her smile was one of pure pleasure, and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. She seemed to float over to me, as the long robe covered her feet to the ground.

  “You’re awake!” she exclaimed in what sounded like true delight. “Good. We have so much to do. I was afraid I was going to have to try to bring you around myself. Apparently, it’s very important that you’re conscious when we begin.”

  Nell sounded as though we were beginning a school project together. Her voice was matter-of-fact, but her eyes blazed with the true madness that I’d been hearing in her mind for months.

  I tried to sit up, but the agony in my head was strong enough to make me nauseated, and I fell back.

  “Yes, sorry about the head. Probably hurts quite a bit, doesn’t it? That was unfortunate. I considered trying chloroform, but it’s not as easy to get as you might think, and there’s a paper trail, too. I couldn’t have that.”

  I stared at her incredulously. “You don’t think you’re really going to get away with killing me, do you? You might do it, but between Michael and Amber, I’m going to bet the cops will be at your door before you’ve had a chance to clean up. If I disappear, who do you think will be the number one suspect?”

  She laughed then, a silvery tinkle of amusement tinged with insanity. “Oh, poor Tasmyn. You don’t think I’ve thought this out? It was very complicated, you know. Everything had to fall into place so precisely, and it had to be done in very little time. I had been waiting for an opportunity, I was prepared to be patient, and then yesterday, when I overheard your conversation with Amber, it just fell into my lap. Perfect timing, with your mother away, no one expecting you at home… and by the time your boyfriend starts to wonder where you are, it’ll be much too late.

  “But there’s no worry of me being suspected of anything. I drove you here in your car, and it will appear that you came out on your own. You see, it turns out that your end will come courtesy of a rather hungry alligator that lives in the lake here. I’m sure he’ll have help from the other things that live there, too, but I think the gator will be the one to really do the job.”

  Nell leaned closer to me, and the hood fell off to pool around her hair. “Don’t be frightened. In reality, you’ll be long gone before they bother with you. I need a fairly large quantity of your blood—more than you can spare, as it turns out. But I know how to do it in such a way that my cuts won’t be at all visible by the time your body is found.”

  I shook my head and then closed my eyes to breathe through the pain. “Doesn’t matter, Nell. They’ll still know.”

  “Oh, your adoring boyfriend or that stupid Amber might suspect. But they’ll have no proof, and it won’t matter. Besides, if they make too much fuss, my father will shut them up. He might not be good for much, but he wouldn’t let anyone slander me.” Her laugh this time was short and harsh. “Wouldn’t want any harm coming to the precious Massler name. Or maybe I should say, any more harm. That’s really why he could never forgive my mother…” Her eyes clouded and she frowned. I could feel the hurt and fury coming from her, and the mutterings in her mind cried out in pain, too. Maybe this was
my opportunity.

  “I’m sorry about your mother, Nell,” I said as gently as I could manage. “It must have been very hard for you to lose her when you were so little.”

  “She was brilliant,” Nell murmured. “Simply brilliant. No one was like her. And she loved me. She taught me…” Her voice faded and then she jerked her eyes back to me. “That doesn’t matter now. She’s put away because she wasn’t smart enough to manage things. She let a man ruin everything. I learned that lesson early. No man is worth giving up your power. No man is worth losing what’s really important. They can’t be trusted.” She smiled down at me again. “Not even your precious love. You’ll see. Or actually you won’t see. You won’t be around to see!” Nell giggled maniacally. “Maybe I’ll offer him some comfort while he’s grieving for you…”

  A fierce rage shot through me at the idea of Nell anywhere near Michael. “He would never—” I began, but Nell cut me off.

  “Oh, he might never—you may be right—but you know, there are spells for that, too. My power will be limitless after I perform this ritual. Doesn’t it make you feel a little better to know that your blood is going to such a good cause?”

  I turned my face and refused to look at her, but she wouldn’t move away.

  “Oh, come on now, Tasmyn. Let’s not be coy. It didn’t take me too long to figure out where your power lies. Marica could sense it from the beginning, you know. She just couldn’t isolate exactly what it was. But after the whole Amber debacle, I put the pieces together. I played you today, made you think I was on the wrong track. And now, if I’m right—which I nearly always am—your blood, with your special gifts, will make me the strongest witch of my generation. And in a way, you’ll be part of that. Even if you’re not around to see it!” She erupted into laughter again.

  I knew I had to be calm. If I could keep her talking, keep her focused on something else, I could be buying precious time, and there was a chance that someone would find me. The thought of Nell with Michael sickened me, but I had to tamp down that anger and try to reach whatever part of Nell’s sanity that might be left.

  She was standing again in front of the pile of rocks I had noticed earlier. Her mind was focused on them, and then I heard the familiar chanting. She was thinking of the chant as she mumbled some words over the stones.

  I felt a burst of energy so strong that it forced me further into the ground and robbed me of my breath. Startled, I realized it had come from Nell’s mind. And there, where a mound of stones had been seconds before burned a bright flame.

  I remembered that Amber had talked about Nell and the other girls making fire. At the time, I had assumed there was some trick Ms. Lacusta had taught them. But the flash of power I’d felt at the same moment the fire started could not have been a coincidence. Somehow Nell had made those flames.

  In desperation, I closed my eyes and opened my mind, clearing all the walls as thoroughly as I could. Combating Nell was going to require every bit of strength I possessed.

  Now, the words must be perfect. The athame must be purified in the flames created by the craft, and then she has to be upright. I’ll have to prop her up in some way. And the vessels, they have to be prepared, too—

  TASMYN!

  Cutting through Nell’s musings and ramblings, I heard my name coming from a completely different mind. I caught my breath as I struggled to keep my face expressionless. I could not let Nell look at me and guess what I was hearing.

  Tasmyn. I’m coming for you, I know you’re around here somewhere. Hang in there, I love you, don’t you dare let her hurt you, I’ll kill her myself. Stay with me, Tas.

  Tears filled my eyes, and I squeezed them shut. With tremendous effort, I choked down a screaming reply. I wouldn’t help either of us by taking away the element of surprise, Michael’s only real advantage in this situation. But every fiber of my being yearned toward him.

  Nell had straightened, and she was coming toward me. One hand was behind her back, and the same beatific smile was on her face.

  “Well, Tasmyn, I think it’s about that time. Now, I’m going to need your cooperation in some of this. You must be sitting up, so that I can catch the blood in the vessels that have been prepared for this ritual. Oh, it’s going to be amazing.” She brought her hand in front of her, and in it I saw a long, thin knife. Nell turned it over lovingly, caressing the white bone handle. I could hear her again more clearly.

  Amazing. That’s right. Just the two of us. The athame will link us, forever.

  “That’s the athame?” I questioned her softly. I wanted to keep her attention on me.

  “Yes.” Still smiling, Nell held it out the knife front of her. “Isn’t it beautiful? It was my mother’s.”

  Without thinking, I blurted, “I thought Ms. Lacusta gave it to you—the athame.”

  Confusion moved across Nell’s face. “Marica? My mother…” Her mind bleated distress. Then she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. One and the same. Powerful witches, and both their blood runs in my veins.” The idea of blood brought her back to the task at hand. “This athame has served me well. If you feel the back of your head, you’ll find a lump in the shape of its handle. Turns out it’s useful in more ways than even I had guessed.”

  “That’s what you hit me with?” No wonder my head was killing me.

  “Yes. It worked out perfectly. The hardest part was keeping my mind blank. I knew you’d hear me if I started thinking once I got near you. So I had to have it all planned before I was close enough, and I wasn’t really sure how far away you can read minds.” She knelt down next to me and slid a hand beneath my head. “Now you have to sit up.”

  Nell’s fingers brushed the back of my head, and I shrieked in pained protest. She jerked her hand away, then chuckled.

  “Sorry. I forgot that your head must hurt pretty badly. Don’t worry, it won’t bother you much longer.” She giggled again, but this time she gripped me by the shoulders. “Look, I’ll swing you around so you can lean against this tree.”

  She shoved me up, and I moaned again as my head banged against the tree. Moving had tightened the bindings on my feet, and I felt as though I were being stretched.

  Nell sprinted back to the fire and returned to me quickly, this time holding two stone bowls. “These are the vessels. We’ll need to tie your hands, I’m afraid, so that you don’t accidentally knock anything over.” From the folds of her robe, she pulled a length of rope that matched that at my feet.

  “Give me your hands.” When I merely stared at her, she sighed in exasperation. “Tasmyn, there’s no way out now. Let me have your hands. It’s for your own good. Delaying this, fighting it, will only make things more painful for you.”

  Tas, be still. Let her tie your hands. I’m right here, watching. I’m waiting for her to put down the knife. I can’t risk her going for you. But don’t worry, I won’t let her hurt you. Just play along a little while longer. Try to get her to put down the knife. I’m with you.

  I swallowed convulsively. Michael was right. Charging at Nell while the athame was still in her hand would be far too dangerous. If she was tying my hands, she couldn’t be holding the knife, could she? Hesitantly, I held them out, shaking.

  “That’s better.” Somehow still holding the athame, she threw the rope over my wrists and rapidly tightened it around my hands. Her strength and dexterity both astounded and frightened me. Would Michael be able to overpower her, even if she did put down the knife?

  “Now, it’s time.” Nell’s eyes sparkled with excited anticipation. She sat back on her heels, the cloak spread around her, and flipped the hood over her head again. Closing her eyes, she began to speak the chant that I had been hearing in her mind all this time. It was nearly hypnotic, and I resisted the urge to give in to its rhythm.

  I wondered if Michael could see Nell. Depending on his vantage point, he might not be able to tell that her eyes were closed. This one-way communication was so frustrating.

  Abruptly Nell stopped chanting. She
raised the athame above her head and said something else in the same language—Romanian, I guessed. I watched in a combination of fascination and horror as she slowly lowered the knife and brought it to my neck.

  “Don’t be alarmed,” she whispered to me. “They will be only shallow cuts. We don’t want gushes of blood. It must flow slowly, into the vessels. Here—” I felt a sudden pain below my chin, “—and here—” another slice on the other side of my neck, “—and here.” She moved the knife to my arms.

  “NO!!!” The bellow of rage rose from the trees directly across the clearing from where Nell crouched over me. “Get away from her!” Michael charged directly at Nell, as she spun around to face him, knife still in her hand.

  “Michael!” I screamed. “She has the knife—stay away!”

  Nell looked wildly from Michael to me, and I could hear her mentally vacillating between attacking Michael or coming back to complete what she’d begun with me. Still facing Michael, she backed up toward me, the athame, stained with my blood, raised in her hand.

  Slowly she lowered the knife back to my neck. “Go ahead,” she hissed, her eyes on Michael’s face. “Try it. I know where to cut. She’ll bleed out in a matter of minutes. Even if you get to her, it’ll be too late.”

  “Michael!” I kept my voice steady even in its intensity. “Go. Get help. Don’t let her hurt you, too—”

  “I’m not leaving you!” His anguish was nearly palpable. “Nell, leave her alone. You stop now, we can get you help. You’re not thinking right. If you hurt her—more, there won’t be anything we can do—”

  Her wild laughter cut through his words. “I don’t want your help, you weak, stupid man. My power is greater than you can imagine, and it’s about to be increased a hundred-fold. Why don’t you stay for the show?”

  And before either of us could react, Nell had leaped across the clearing and tackled Michael. Caught off guard, he staggered under her weight and fell backward. She sat astride him and held the knife to his throat as she alternately cackled and crooned.

  “Now who’s going to help you? If you so much as glance at her, I’m going to slice you right here, and she can watch you bleed away your worthless life. Of course, maybe it would be better for you to simply end it now. Obviously I can’t let you walk away either, but perhaps after the ritual is over you’d be more open to my suggestions.” She ran the flat side of the knife over Michael’s face.

  Tas, I’m going to fight her off. You’ve got to try to get free…

  “Michael, I can’t,” I was sobbing openly now. “I can’t move.” Blood was dripping down my neck, my hands were immobilized, and both my legs and my head were screaming in pain.

  “Why, how rude of you,” Nell reproved us. “It’s very impolite to hold a private conversation when there are other people around. I think someone needs a lesson in manners.” She flipped the athame in her hand and with lightening speed, drew it across Michael’s face.

  My scream filled the woods. I felt Michael’s pain as though it were my own skin that had been sliced, and more tears ran down my face to mingle with the blood. I struggled anew to free my feet and hands. Nell only laughed and raised the knife again.

  A shout rose beyond the wall of trees. We all three froze, listening, and I heard the welcomed jumble of thoughts—many people’s minds, all talking at once and approaching us quickly.

  Before Nell could react, Amber appeared next to me, and then Cara was there, along with a tall man I didn’t recognize. They all three took in the scene before them with varying degrees of horror and disbelief. Cara’s mouth dropped open, but it was Amber who moved first.

  “Get away!” she yelled, running headlong into Nell and knocking her off Michael. The athame flew out of Nell’s hand and through the air, landing near the fire. Nell screeched and fought back against Amber, grabbing her hair and reaching for her eyes.

  “You idiot!” she shrieked. “You’ve ruined it all again. I’ll kill you, I swear I will. I’ll never rest—”

  The man standing next to Cara moved with admirable speed, considering the shock that was still running through his mind. He reached into the melee of arms and legs that was Nell and Amber and pulled Nell away.

  “Enough!” he commanded her firmly. “Stop it.” Nell glowered at him, but she stopped talking. He held her by the arms, much as Michael had done the night we’d saved Amber. He nodded toward Cara. “Get the phone out of my pocket and call the police.”

  Cara obeyed without hesitation, and I realized, hearing her mind as clearly as I was, that this man was her father. I had no idea how he had come to be here, but I was so grateful that I began to sob all over again.

  Michael was by my side in an instant. He lifted my hands and began undoing the rope. “Tell them we need an ambulance, too—she cut Tasmyn. Let me see,” he said to me gently. “No, move your hands. I need to see.”

  “She cut you, too. Are you all right?” As soon as my hands were free, I flung my arms around his neck and pressed my face to his chest, holding him so tightly that I could feel the beating of his heart against my cheek.

  “I’m fine,” he murmured in my ear, pressing kisses along the side of my face. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I didn’t get here sooner. I let her hurt you—”

  I shook my head against him and noted vaguely that it was still hurting badly. “You saved me. If you hadn’t come, I’d be lying here bleeding into her stupid vessels—oh, she’s crazy, Michael. If you could have heard some of the things she was saying, or worse, that she was thinking…”

  He pressed me more tightly to him and bent his head to whisper to me. “Shhh. It’s all right now.” More softly, he added, “Cara and her father are here.” I realized that he was still protecting my secret, even in the middle of the chaos.

  “Tasmyn?” I heard the hesitation in Amber’s voice, and I pulled away slightly from Michael to look at her.

  “Amber, I don’t know how you did it, but I can never thank you—you saved us both.”

  Tears filled her eyes as she knelt beside us. “Then we’re almost even,” she said quietly. “But she cut you. The blood—you’re covered—”

  “They’re not deep cuts,” I assured her. “I think they look worse than they are. But if someone could untie my feet, I’d really appreciate it.”

  Amber scrambled down to wrestle with the ropes, as Michael pulled me close to him again.

  “Ow,” I moaned.

  “Where? Where else do you hurt?” he demanded, leaning back to look me over.

  “My head. She knocked me out with the handle of athame. I think I’ve got a pretty good knot back there. And I’m kind of dizzy.”

  “Concussion,” both Michael and Amber pronounced together. We heard sirens in the distance, and I felt Michael’s profound relief.

  Near the dying fire, Cara was still speaking rapidly into her father’s cell phone. Reverend Pryce was holding Nell firmly, but she was muttering still, casting baleful glances of hate and spite toward the rest of us.

  I could now hear the minds of the approaching police and EMT’s, and a few moments later their footsteps and voices were audible to all. Suddenly the adrenaline that had kept me upright was gone, and the world began to spin. Once again I surrendered to the dark of nothingness. But this time, I wasn’t alone. This time, strong arms circled me.