“If you’re getting tired...” Nathan walked a lot of places back home—Home, it really was, wasn’t it?—but not typically for so long. He had to admit his feet ached. “Have you ever had real pizza?”
Nick laughed. “Real Chicago style? I suspect not.”
“No need for a qualifier.” Nathan steered them in a new direction. “There’s a place about a block from here that makes the best in the universe.” At least, they had when he was a kid. He hoped nostalgia wasn’t lying to him.
“That’s a big boast. I’m in.” Nick strolled beside him.
Disappointment snaked through Nathan as they drew closer. He slowed to a stop. “It’s not there.” There was a schwarma place in its spot.
“Bummer.” Nick sounded disappointed, but not as much as he should. “There are other pizza place, aren't there?”
“Probably.” But it wasn’t the same. Nathan had his heart and stomach set on that familiar taste. Anything else wouldn’t sate the craving. Then again, if the place he’d been looking for had changed, it wouldn’t have either. And he’d always wanted to try this “If schwarma is good enough for Iron Man...”
Nick shook his head and chuckled. “Because I always take life advice from a fictional genius who’s let his money override common sense.”
Nathan opened the door and they stepped inside. A wash of scents greeted them—mouthwatering spices and meat. This would definitely be an acceptable substitute for pizza. They took their place in line. “It’s not life advice, it’s dinner. Besides, tell me you’ve never noticed how silver fox sexy Iron Man is.”
“I assume you're not talking about the suit.” Nick scanned the menu board above the registers. “And I’m so not surprised he’s your go-to.”
Nathan liked this teasing. “Who’s yours— Wait, let me guess. Pepper Potts.”
“No.” Nick screwed up his face. “Maybe. But no. Redheads don’t do it for me.”
“Said no guy ever.” They reached the register. Nathan had no idea what he was ordering, or any clue how to figure it out. “Do you know what you want?”
Nick shook his head. “Not a clue.”
Nathan turned to the cashier. “Give us two of whatever your most popular dish is.”
The cashier hesitated for a moment, then called back “Two number fours.” He looked at them again, and gave them a total.
They grabbed their number and drinks, and found two empty stools at the table that ran along the window.
“They’re all pretty. That’s why they were hired.” Nathan was enjoying this bit of conversation. “So this isn’t just about looks. I mean sure, that plays into the fantasy...”
Nick rolled his eyes. “She’s too much like me. It would be like hooking up with myself. No thank you.”
That made a reasonable amount of sense. Nathan had a different perspective, though. “I think you’ve both got hidden kinks. But I’ll bite. Favorite fantasy MCU character. And don’t tell me you don’t know, because you’ve obviously thought about it.”
“Gamora. I mean...” Nick worked his jaw. “Yes. Gamora. Top of the list. No contest... Small contest.”
Curiouser and curiouser. “Who’s competing for her spot?”
“Nope. Look, food.” Nick moved aside enough for someone to set their food in front of them. He picked a piece of meat from an overstuffed pita. “Looks like a gyro.” He popped it in his mouth. “Doesn’t taste like one, but still good.”
“Nice try. Answer the question.” Nathan kept his tone light.
“Mmpfh?” Nick looked up at him, mouth full.
This was the perfect way to spend the evening. Except having Tara here. Nathan couldn’t argue that, but he was still enjoying the fuck out of this. He grabbed Nick’s hand before he could take another bite. “You brought it up, and you know I’m going to keep asking until you spill. Get it over with.”
Nick swallowed. “Fine. But this is all your fault.”
“I’m fine with that. Unless you say Hawkeye, because he’s like the dad in that universe, and that’s just not...” anything like me, “my thing at all.”
Nick raised an eyebrow. “Ant Man.”
“He’d drive you insane. Chaos is drawn to him, and he’s so flippant about it.”
“And he’d do anything for the people he loves. He knows how to enjoy the simple things in life. He owns it.” The way Nick studied Nathan when he spoke sent chills up Nathan’s spin and goosebumps crawling over his arms.
He didn’t know how to respond, so he took a page from Nick’s book and shoved food in his mouth. It gave him long enough to collect his thoughts. He didn’t want to read too much into Nick’s words, but the intensity in that gaze implied there was something there to be read.
Unless Nathan was making another mistake.
Chapter Ten
Nathan didn’t mean or want to shut the conversation down. Since Nick made the comment about Ant Man, Nathan had fallen into an over-thinking kind of mode.
He held up his end of the conversation, but the playfulness carried more weight. It sang to memories of that one night, and the hope he’d never been able to suppress that his attraction to Nick might flow both ways.
Aside from the struggle between wanting to keep things casual, and being unable to ignore how sexy Nick looked, Nathan felt good. Better than he had in days.
How was he going to send this guy back to his girlfriend, while he stayed here and moped over not wanting to be a daddy?
But Tara was right. Nathan couldn’t go back and pretend he wanted to be a part of that world. He had to be willing to embrace parenthood if he stepped back into Tara’s world. She deserved that, and so did her baby. Everyone would be miserable if he lied.
They were back in the motel room now, each of them sitting on the edge of a bed, facing each other.
Did Nathan say, Thanks for the company. You should get some sleep? Did they turn on the TV and mostly ignore each other? He leaned in with his elbows on his knees, and studied his hands. “Was I... your first?”
Nick met his gaze with a chuckle. “I’m trying to decide if I should pretend I don’t know what you’re asking.”
Nathan pushed the conclusion to the side of his thoughts. “But you do know.”
“I do. And yes, you were.” Nick leaned back to rest his hands on the comforter behind him, and his weight on his hands.
“No experimenting in college? Nothing?” Nathan wasn’t surprised by the answer; why was he pushing for more? Because that was what he wanted—more Nick.
Nick shook his head. “I never met anyone I was interested in experimenting with. To be fair, I wasn’t looking. But I wasn’t not looking.”
Nathan hated to admit it, but he understood the convoluted reply. “Why me? Not that I’m complaining or asking you to take it back.” He was hoping Nick would drop a couple of ego-boosting compliments though.
“Pretty sure I can’t take something like that back. And I wouldn’t have considered it if you hadn’t brought it up. But once you did... You’re handsome, intelligent, funny, talented, and you give a really great blow job.”
“Don’t stop.” Nathan laughed. When he met Nick, he never would have guessed the guy had a sense of humor like this.
Nick smirked. “That’s my line.”
“I see what you did there. Was it a one-time thing?” Nathan shouldn’t ask. He shouldn’t push this too hard, but he couldn’t help it. He had to know.
Nick’s silence wasn’t the answer he hoped for.
NICK LOOPED NATHAN’S question through his thoughts. He’d steered clear of thinking too much about that night in the hotel in Rome, because on the surface, it was a one-and-done deal.
But today drove home that Nick couldn’t ignore he wanted more. If Nathan were female, and they’d had an afternoon like that, Nick wouldn’t hesitate to proposition her. It extended beyond friendship.
If he was forced to admit it—and he was on that cusp—he wasn’t hesitating to hook up with Nathan again because of his g
ender. It had everything to do with Tara.
Or was that another excuse?
A crease was forming between Nathan’s brows.
Nick had taken too long to puzzle through an answer. “No. It wasn’t a one-time thing.” He crossed the short distance between them, bent at the waist to capture Nathan’s neck, and kissed him hard.
With Tara, she demanded as much as she gave, which was delicious. Nathan yielded and sank into the kiss, which was its own level of incredible. Nick was hard in a heartbeat.
Nick nudged Nathan’s shoulder, pushing him to lie back on the mattress, and knelt next to him. Nathan kept himself propped up on his elbows. Each new nip along the lips was a fresh spark of need spilling through Nick’s veins.
Nathan shifted enough to drop one hand below Nick’s waist, and stroked him through his jeans. The light, playful touch made Nick’s cock strain to be free.
“Are you going to be gentle with me my first time?” Nick teased.
Nathan scooted back further. “Do you do gentle?”
“I don’t usually do painfully rough, if that’s what you’re asking.” Though, the idea was more tempting than it had ever been before. Not too much pain, just enough of a sting to draw the senses to life.
Nathan bit his bottom lip. “Too bad. Something to practice later.”
“I’m game.” For every single bit of it.
“As for gentle...” Nathan furrowed his brow. “What are the odds you have lube in your luggage?”
Well, fuck. But based on the question, probably not. “Slim to none.”
“Me neither. Left in a bit of a rush, haven’t had a need for it here. So gentle isn’t really an option. And I’m going to say neither is your first time. Giving or receiving.”
Nick hadn’t even considered that. It had been a long time since he had things to learn about sex.
“But...” Nathan pushed into a sitting position again, and nipped Nick’s stubbled chin. “There’s always next time.”
Nick liked the idea of next time. “I have to ask once more. Come with me.”
Nathan opened his mouth.
“And don’t say we just ruled that out.” Nick cut him off.
“Party pooper.” Nathan’s laugh was strained.
“That’s a no?”
Nathan nodded his head. “Not yet.”
Tara was going to be disappointed. Nick sure as fuck was.
TARA SHIFTED FROM ONE foot to the other. Airport patrons jostled her and split around her, giving her more excuses to not stand still.
Nick’s flight had landed. She assumed it would take a little while for him to disembark and make his way to baggage claim. Thank Christ he’d gone through customs in England.
She was anxious to see him. Talk to a friendly face. Find out what caused the delay.
And did she mention, see him?
What's next? The question had tried to get her attention all day. She refused to give it consideration. Not now. She was enjoying this moment, and the few that came immediately after, as they were.
She caught a glimpse of strawberry blond hair, cut short, amid the sea of heads. Her stomach did a kind of flip-flop thing that she hadn’t felt in a while, and her heart squeezed in a wonderful way.
She strode toward Nick as quickly as foot traffic would allow, and grasped his hand.
The instant his gaze met hers, he grinned.
Tara tugged him aside. She pressed her body to his, tangled her fingers at the back of his neck, and crushed her mouth to his.
She felt his shoulder slump, and then the thunk of his bag as it slid to the ground and landed against their legs.
Then his hands were at the small of her back, capturing her. He returned the kiss hungrily. He groaned against her lips, and his length hardened against her hip.
She’d stay here forever if she could. Pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist, and wrap them both in ribbons of fairytale and fantasy.
When they finally broke apart, neither of them let go.
“You’re late.” She kept the teasing in her voice, but she wanted an answer.
“I had to make a stop. I was hoping to surprise you.” The corners of his mouth tugged down. “It didn’t go the way I wanted.”
She didn’t want to ask for details—she was tired of bad news—but curiosity was won out. “Are you going to tell me what it was anyway?”
“I stopped in Chicago.”
A fist squeezed around her heart again, but this one made everything ache. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I thought that too, but I then I realized yes, I did.”
Because this wasn’t a fling, and it wasn’t going to end because they lived on separate continents. Nick was a part of her life, and they both realized it. “What did he say? Besides no.”
“He didn’t say no, it was more like not yet. He’s terrified by this fatherhood thing. I can’t make excuses for him or explain his logic, because I don’t get it, but I could tell he was trying to figure it out.”
Was that good news? Bad?
She wasn’t thinking about the future today. Her focus was on the now. She just wanted a little time to enjoy things without a cloud of reality raining on them. “Thank you for trying.”
“Luggage is up.” Nick nodded toward the carrousel. He gripped her hand and tugged her in that direction.
It was too loud and public here for much conversation. As they waited, he never let go of her. The intimacy felt so right. Subtle, but perfect. She refused to pick the moment apart beyond that.
Nick dropped her hand when his bags appeared on the conveyer belt, and disappointment whispered through her.
She was acting like a little girl with a crush. Swooning over the cute guy who was giving her all the nice attention.
That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, was it?
He piled his luggage onto a trolley, and they wheeled everything out to her car.
When they were on the road, cursing with traffic, he sought out her hand again.
The butterflies in her chest fluttered. “Do you want dinner?” She asked.
“I nibbled on the plane between naps. I’m not really hungry.”
They could head directly to her place then. Not that there wasn’t food at home, but she wanted his company once they got inside. “We’ll figure out food later, then. I’ve made arrangements to keep filming. Nothing that requires a storefront, but I looked into some legalities, and I can use the back rooms as long as I use the right terminology.”
“That’s fantastic. I might have to sit in on a couple, if you let me.”
“Of course.” She didn’t want to be making small talk, but it was so good to have someone listen. “How have you been? Since we talked all of two days ago.”
“You-should-know...” He forced the words out in a blur that took her a moment to decipher.
They slept together. She wasn’t sure how she suspected that, and she didn’t care for the sting her assumption carried. “Then you should say it.”
“Nathan and I... well, we didn’t fuck, but we would have if mechanics didn’t get in the way.”
Her mood slipped further. Hearing the confirmation hurt. Should it? Hadn’t she done the same? “You and I did the phone sex thing.”
“We did, and it was wonderful. And I get that when the two of you are together, you don’t ask each other's permission each time. But you do talk about it, and I wanted to be honest.”
“Thank you for that.” All the logic in the world didn’t lessen the sting, but she didn’t have a right to be upset. That was hypocritical.
“I don’t regret either moment.” Nick’s tone was soft, and he traced his thumb along the back of her hand as he spoke. “But I do recognize this probably wasn’t the right time to act on the impulse.”
That helped, but it didn’t change what happened. “I need to process, but I’m not angry.” Wounded? Yes.
They reached her place, and set Nick’s luggage in the foyer of the used-to-be shop.
>
Then she lost track of who was pulling whom up the stairs. They barely cleared the landing before Nick captured her neck and stole another kiss.
She gasped at the heat that spilled through her.
He plunged his tongue past her lips to dance with hers.
Everywhere he dragged his fingers—up her spine, down her arms, over her stomach—icy chills turned to flames of need.
Desire unfurled in her belly, but it soured with doubt. She planted her palms on his chest and pushed him back. “Not tonight. I want you here, but I’m not ready. I know over the phone we... But I can’t...” Why was she terrified to tell him no?
“Okay. We won’t.” He didn’t sound upset or look annoyed. His tone was kind instead. “I’m here to see you, but that doesn’t mean you owe me.”
She knew that. Hearing Nick say it made all the difference.
It didn’t fill the pit in her gut, though. She was so grateful he was here. But at the same time hurt about what happened between Nick and Nathan. And that Nathan didn’t come back with him.
As much as she wanted to pretend there was only this moment, she couldn’t.
Chapter Eleven
Nathan was surprised to see an alert that Tara was doing a livestream soon. She didn’t have to put anything else out for the competition yet. Anything she aired today wouldn’t count.
Not that extra videos were unheard of, but given her mood, it seemed odd.
He pushed another unfinished sketch aside. He was going stir crazy here. The afternoon with Nick seemed like a century ago. Had it really only been two days?
He needed to do something. He couldn’t stay in this room forever, wallowing and discarding half-finished drawings.
He’d start with watching Tara’s video. It wasn’t a difficult decision or a big change, but he had to begin somewhere.
When Tara appeared on his laptop screen, her smile reached her eyes.
“Hey, all.” Shadows hid under her makeup, but her tone was chipper, and she kept the camera focused on herself. “I know we’re still technically on vacation, but I missed you so much, I had to come back early. Plus, I have a minor announcement, and I wanted to make it in person.”
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