Beauty Awakened

by Allyson Lindt

  “I won’t hover too much.” Mom’s comment jarred Tara from her indecision. “I’ll give your privacy as you need, unless I think you’re doing too much work in secret.”

  Tara managed a laugh she didn’t feel. “All of my work literally ends up online. You’ll know if I’m working.”

  “Exactly. Keep that in mind, young lady.”

  The next several days passed in a slogging, muddy blur. She watched Nathan’s videos; their views were skyrocketing, thanks in part to the fifteen minutes of fame that Marco’s assholeness bought them.

  Who knew? Turns out he was good for something after all.

  She sifted through her email. She could have trashed everything not from someone she knew. There was a lot of hate waiting for her. But she could deal with it. They were wrong.

  The outpouring of support surprised her. People cheering her on. Sending sympathy. Telling her she’d inspired them to walk away from the same.

  Those were the emails that made her cry happy tears.

  Then again, she was crying a lot more than she used to. When she talked to Nathan and Nick. When she read a particularly hateful message. When some random woman in the soap opera Mom was watching found her lost puppy.

  Mom wouldn’t let her answer the random knocks on the door. That was kind of nice to not worry about.

  After one of them, her mom came back upstairs with someone behind her.

  Tara bristled with fury when she saw Matilde.

  “Hear her out, a leanbh.” Sternness lined Mom’s kind request.

  Tara didn’t want to, and she certainly wouldn’t smile through it. “Only if I don’t hate what I hear.”

  Matilde stepped forward, gaze turned toward the ground. “I’m sorry. That’s all I wanted to say. Everything I did, and said. The things I put you through. I apologize.”

  Tara’s brain snagged on the words and ground to a halt. She’d never seem Matilde like this. “It’s all right.” That wasn’t what she wanted to say. The words forced out on their own.

  “Is it?” Matilde’s head shot up.

  “No. It’s really not.”

  Matilde sighed as she wove her fingers together then untangled them. “I went through Marco’s things after I got your email. I... I can’t believe I never saw it. He hired the people who vandalized your shop. He barely tried to hide it.”

  This sounded more familiar than Tara wanted it to. Like when Marco had cheated on her. “Go figure. Same guy I married.” Most people didn’t change in the drastic kind of way it would take for Marco to be a decent person.

  Mom stepped away. “I’ll leave you two to hash this out.”

  “Thank you,” Tara said. She was still focused on Matilde.

  “We’ve been having problems for a while.” Matilde waited until they were alone. She was quiet. “I told myself—he told me—it was my fault. It is, isn’t it? I should have seen all of it. The fucking around. This real estate bullshit. It’s on me.”

  That was all it took to shatter Tara’s angry wall. She heard so much of herself in those words. “No. It’s not on you, and it’s not your fault.” Her voice cracked. “It will take a lot longer for you to believe that than you should, but I mean it. This wasn’t your fault.” She nodded at the chair next to her. “Do you want to sit?”

  The invitation and shared trauma didn’t erase Tara’s resentment for the threats and harassment, but it made them easier for her to understand and reconcile.

  “When I watched that video with the two of you—” Matilde whimpered. “The things he said to you, he might as well have been talking to me. And that he did that to another human being... I didn’t realize he was violent.”

  It was almost like looking in a mirror. “It’s not your fault.” It was easier to say this time. Tara had done some shitty things for Marco too. Nothing like trying to evict someone, but looking back, she would have if he’d asked. “You made some bad mistakes, but I’ve been there. I know what it’s like with him. With anyone like him.”

  “I resigned my city council position. I’m not enough of a headline to make big news. They were going to ask for me to step aside, but I’d already written my resignation. The things I did to you. The changes I pushed through... I can’t believe I was so blind.”

  She was going to be saying that a lot in the coming weeks, months, and possibly years. Tara could practically write those lines for her. “You’ll find something better.”

  “Not after a blow like this. I don’t have a family name behind me. Not all of us are princesses.”

  Tara didn’t believe that. “You’re far more regal than you give yourself credit for. And...” She hesitated to make the offer. The bitterness was still fresh, despite the understanding. She didn’t know this woman outside of their confrontations. Despite things being Marco’s fault, Matilde had still slept with someone else’s husband...

  Tara wouldn’t pass those judgments. Matilde deserved a chance to stand on her own. “If you ever need a recommendation, you can toss my name around.”

  “You don’t have to say that.”

  “No, I don’t. But I mean it. Don’t make me regret it.”

  “I’ll try not to.” Matilde stood. “Thank you for seeing me. For... everything. I don’t deserve it.”

  “You deserve a lot better than you got. Make the most of it.”

  The conversation lingered in Tara’s head long after Matilde left. Tara’s responses were bounced back and forth between I did the right thing and That was stupid of you.

  Self-doubt. What a wonderful constant in life.

  When Nathan called with news that he’d rented a local property, to open shop, she celebrated with him and Nick. It wasn’t the same not being there. It was worse seeing them so close now. It wasn’t anything obvious. They were almost always holding hands or making contact in some way.

  Antonio and Dad came by that weekend like they’d promised. Tara struggled to go through everything without crying.

  She failed. After a couple of hours of stunted conversation, Antonio pulled her from the room. “This doesn’t have to be done today,” he said. “Let’s stop.”

  Dad gave a heavy sigh, but he didn’t argue.

  “When was the last time you went for a walk?” Antonio asked.

  Mom stepped between them. “It’s cold out there, and she’s still healing.”

  There was no tension between them. It was all concern for Tara. Why did they have to be so wonderful? She turned to her mom. “I promise not to wander too far. He’s right. I need to get out of here for a little while.”

  “All right,” Mom said. “But you call me if you need a ride home.”

  Antonio pushed Tara toward the stairs. “It’s a couple of blocks. We’ll be fine.”

  Tara had been out on the balcony several times a day since getting home, but she hadn’t left the house. She stepped out onto the sidewalk, and paused. Sunshine heated her skin, its heat muted by a mild breeze.

  She closed her eyes and breathed deep, coughing at the pain that jabbed through her chest. It was worth it though, to get a lungful of fresh air. “Coffee?”

  “Coffee.” Antonio nodded.

  They walked in silence for a little bit. She was grateful he didn’t push. Being out here helped clear her thoughts. “I can’t do this,” she finally said. “I can’t be on the other side of the ocean from them. And I can’t leave you all behind.”

  “I get that.” Antonio had done both temporarily. Lived in the States for seven years. Moved back home without Justin.

  “How did you deal with it?” she asked. “Being away from us for so long. Leaving him behind?”

  Antonio chuckled dryly. “Well, the first one I didn’t put much thought into. I was in my early twenties and in love with my best friend. Of course I was going to follow him to the ends of the earth. I didn’t think of it as leaving family behind, because visiting was always an option, and he doesn’t have a problem traveling.”

  Which was one thing Tara wouldn’t be able
to do. Come back here with her men. But visiting here didn’t mean staying. It did mean choosing which country to be in when she had the baby. That meant picking who would be there for the birth. Another thing Antonio didn’t have to confront. “And leaving Justin?”

  Antonio opened the cafe door for her, and they stepped inside. The fragrant aroma of freshly roasted and ground beans greeted her. The shop was busy, with too many people talking at once for her to focus on any of it.

  It felt good to be surrounded by people doing normal things.

  She glanced at Antonio.

  “I heard you,” he said. “I just don’t know how to answer.”

  That was fair. They ordered drinks—she was learning to like herbal tea, though the scent in here made her crave something stronger—and took a seat near the back.

  “It wasn’t the same for me with Justin. In a way it was probably easier for me. We weren’t on speaking terms. But writing him off that way... I haven’t made very many decisions that were more difficult.”

  She knew what she was going to do. What she had to do. “What do you think Mom will say if I leave? Before I have the baby?”

  “She’ll probably threaten to move out there with you. She did that when I moved, and I wasn’t pregnant with her only grandbaby.”

  “So, I should expect her to come visit for a few months.”

  Antonio nodded. “And you should also expect to have to forcibly put her on the plane back home. And for her to want you to go with her.”

  Tara was going to do this. The reality terrified her. But it was also a huge relief. “You have to promise to take care of my house. Let some of your contractors stay there. Give more people like Nathan a chance.”

  “I think that’s a brilliant idea.”

  The barista called out their drink orders, and Antonio left long enough to retrieve them. He returned and set her tea in front of her.

  “You’re going to love it there,” Antonio said. “It’s nothing like here. It’s so big. And where Nick lives, it’s all sprawl and mountains. But you’ll love it because they’re there.”

  “I know.” Her excitement was surging. She was still scared. But even more, she hated that she needed to wait so long before she could get there.

  Should she tell them she was coming, or make it a surprise? She didn’t know if she could keep the secret for that long.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  The way Nick shoved aside Nathan’s suggestion caused a rift. It wasn’t anything obvious. Nathan was still friendly, and the little touches were still there, but Nick noticed there was no mention of Nick’s work. If the subject came up, Nathan brushed it off or left the room.

  Nick didn’t have any illusions about why he’d reacted the way he did. He’d hated having his own thoughts reflected back at him from someone on the outside. Hearing Nathan say what Nick was thinking made the idea sound that much more selfish.

  Apologizing to Fiona hadn’t made much of a difference either. Her emails were terse. Wyatt’s were more so. His had always been professional, but now they were brief too.

  Nick was going through the routine, but he didn’t feel any enthusiasm for it. He might as well be doing entry-level data analysis like his internship had been, for as much joy as his daily tasks brought.

  Friday afternoon, an email landed in Nick’s inbox. As he read, his eyes grew wide, and disbelief-tainted hope filtered through his veins.

  It was a contract. As big as the shipping company one had been, and it was far closer to complete. Wyatt had already pushed the contract through Legal, and had a number of commitments in place.

  No one signed a deal that quickly. Not like this.

  As Nick read through everything, he realized this hadn’t been quick. Wyatt had been working the angle almost since he started. It was amazing. It wouldn’t erase their money problems, but it would give them more breathing room. Enough that they could get back on top of things within six months.

  It was exactly the kind of contract they needed.

  Nick didn’t want to do this by email. He dialed Wyatt’s number.

  “Hey.” Wyatt’s greeting was curt.

  What was Nick supposed to say? He wasn’t used to words failing him. “I just read everything.”

  “Is there a problem?”

  “No. Exactly the opposite. Thank you.” Two words couldn’t begin to convey Nick’s gratitude. Or his regret for what he’d done. He sure as hell tried to make them work that way, though.

  There was a pause before Wyatt said, “You’re welcome.” He almost sounded warm. Sincere.

  Nick couldn’t leave it at that. “I don’t like this. I’m not talking about your work. That deserves champagne and celebration. I don’t like where I’ve landed myself.”

  “I know the feeling. Kind of sucks. Knowing you fucked up. Trying to make it right. Having it thrown in your face over and over again, despite the assurance that everything is fine now.”

  A hiss echoed in Nick’s head at the description of how he’d treated Wyatt. “Yeah. It does. I’m sorry. No disclaimers. No except for. I’m sorry, and I’m grateful.”

  “Cool.”

  Not exactly what Nick hoped for, but it was something. “Ask Fiona to call me. Please?”

  “Not my decision,” Wyatt said. “But I’ll tell her what you said.”

  “Thanks. Again.” Nick would take what he could get.

  He and Nathan celebrated at home that night instead. They drank too much. They made out like high school kids. And they passed out half-clothed.

  Nick loved every second of it. And hated that Tara wasn’t there for it.

  He also wasn’t fond of the hangover the next morning. The sun wasn’t even up when a jarred him from him sleep. He winced at the clock by his bed. Almost seven in the morning.

  He nudged Nathan. Then shook him more insistently. “That’s your ringtone.”

  “Ugh.” Nathan sat up with a groan, just as the ringing stopped. “What year is it?”

  Nick laughed, and instantly regretted it when his head winced in protest. “Go find your phone. I’ll make coffee.”

  Nathan tugged him closer and kissed him hard. “Thank you, honey.”

  Nick couldn’t wipe the grin from his face as he yanked on some pants and headed into the kitchen.

  The water in the coffee maker was just starting to hiss when Nathan joined him. “It was Tara. Calling her back.”

  “Okay.” Nick wasn’t about to argue that. Today was the day she was packing up Nathan’s things. Except it was after two there, so she may be done. That had to have been hard.

  “Hey, handsome.” Her cheerful voice echoed from the speaker. “You lost your shirt.”

  “I’m not the only one. We just got up.” Nathan pointed the camera at Nick for a moment.

  “Lazy boys.” She sounded playful. Almost normal. “I had an idea.”

  “I like ideas.” Nathan grabbed mugs out of the cupboard while he talked.

  “You’ll love this one. I know what we need to do for our marathon livestream.”

  That amped Nick’s curiosity up several notches. “Are you up for that?”

  “Definitely. Please, please give me something to do, before I go nuts here,” Tara said. “But also, my mom says I can’t stay on for too long at a time, so we’ll have to tag team the event.”

  “Sounds kinky,” Nick teased. He prepped their coffee, and moved to stand next to Nathan so he could see.

  Tara was smiling. The bruise on her face had faded to a pale yellow. “You have no idea.”

  “Spill the details. I want to fill in the blanks.” Nathan squeezed Nick’s hand. It had only taken a few times of feeling that to know it was his way of saying thanks.

  “Well... you’ve rented the new space, right? But you need to personalize it. I say we design this mural, complete with viewer input, and then paint it on the interior walls.”

  “I love it.” Nathan’s enthusiastic response echoed Nick’s. “Since it’s all tattoo business
related, it should fall within contest guidelines. I can verify with Chloe. You know what else we should do?”

  Tara nodded. “Have Nick take care of the structural details.”

  What?

  “No. I mean, yes, but that’s not what I was going to say.”

  “It’s not?” Tara asked.

  Nick had never seen them out of sync before, but he was more curious about the out-of-left-field suggestion of his help.

  Nathan shook his head. “I think we should do a practice run, and use it as an excuse to design the baby’s room. You’re painting the guest bedroom, right?”

  “Oh.” Tara’s giddiness wavered. “I mean... No. Not yet. Can we save that?”

  That was the disappointment Nick expected when she called. “We can save it.”

  “Okay.” Her smile was back, but it didn’t reach her eyes this time. “Let’s plan this marathon and remodel. What are the odds you can have it done in the next three weeks?”

  “Why?” Nick asked. The new building wouldn’t take much to make it operational, especially with the right contractors. The painting might take longer. If it was all applicable to the contest though, that bought them a little time.

  Tara ducked her head. “I thought as soon as I’m clear to fly, I’d come visit.”

  Elation flooded Nick. “We can be read in three weeks. And we’re going to keep you here as long as you let us.”

  “That sounds perfect.” She still wasn’t looking at them.

  Odd.

  A knock drew Nick’s attention. “Hang on. Keep talking. I’ll be right back.”

  He peered through the peephole and was stunned to see Fiona outside. He swung the door open. “Hey. Come on in.”

  Tara would understand an interruption like this. Hell, if there was any chance Nick could make this right, maybe he’d introduce his sister to his girlfriend in the next hour or two.

  “Congratulations on the new contract. I know you worked your asses off for that,” he said.

  Fiona lingered near the door. “Thanks. That’s actually why I’m here. Sort of. Wyatt told me you called.”

  “I did. And I’ll say the same thing to you as I did to him. He’s doing amazing things for us. For you. At some point, I need to let his present actions speak for themselves and let the past go.”