As You Crave It

by J. Margot Critch

  “You were different.”

  “So you’ve only been physical with women. No relationships?”

  “I think there’s a step I missed along the way. I mean, it’s no surprise. I’ve never had a girlfriend.”

  “You’ve never had a girlfriend? I knew that about you when we were friends back in the day, but not even since then?”

  “Lots of casual hookups, Tinder dates, booty calls, one-night stands...but no actual relationships.” He shook his head. “Pathetic, right? Maybe I’m missing something, emotionally or mentally. Thirty years old, and relationships are never something I learned.”

  “That’s really sad, dude,” she told him, frowning. Quin looked away. He didn’t want her pity.

  “Don’t look at me like that,” he told her. “I know that on paper, my life is fine. It’s just this one thing that I don’t know anything about.”

  She giggled. “Maybe you need some boyfriend lessons,” she said.

  He knew she was joking, and as ridiculous as boyfriend lessons sounded, a moment of inspiration hit him. He paused and looked over at Celia. “Maybe you can help me out with that.”

  “With what?” She eyed him critically, knowing that she would be able to see through his bullshit, but he continued shoveling it out, anyway. “With what, Quin?” she asked again when he didn’t answer.

  He took a deep breath, knowing that he was about to bury himself so deeply that he was sure he wouldn’t be able to climb out. It would only lead to embarrassment, but he didn’t care. He was desperate to convince her to give him another chance. “On the beach, last night, you told me I don’t know how to be in a relationship. And you were right. I know how to get a woman into bed. But beyond that I’m clueless and doomed to be alone forever.” He paused and took a deep breath, gently removed his glass from her fingers and drank another mouthful of rum. “So, I need you to show me how.”

  “Show you how?” She laughed. “I don’t think you have any trouble with women.”

  “Like I said, it’s not just about sex. I’m good there.” He was more than proficient when it came to those skills.

  “Yeah, you’re telling me.”

  “But I need you to show me what women like, outside of the things I already know. You’ve already put the kibosh on anything that can happen between us—besides friendship and sex, apparently. But romance is the part I’m missing here.”

  Quin was sure he could probably use his common sense, or even an internet search engine to learn the dos and don’ts of romancing a woman. But he didn’t want to do any of that. He had been right earlier when he said that friends with benefits felt more like a relationship than he’d ever had before. But if he could keep Celia close, in something that looked like a relationship, then maybe she would change her mind. “Tell me how to get, and keep, a woman like you.”

  * * *

  Celia’s mouth opened in shock. She wasn’t sure quite what Quin was asking of her. “You want relationship advice?” She shook her head. “I don’t know.”

  Since he’d left her room, she been trying to work out in her mind what was happening between them. She knew how this would end—in heartbreak. She didn’t want to let it happen again, but her need for Quin was somehow greater than her fear. She wouldn’t let him into her heart. But that didn’t mean that they couldn’t keep sleeping together, enjoying a more physical relationship. They could hang out again, like the old friends they were. She just couldn’t give him her heart. She could still feel the hurt from the past. But they were older now, wiser. She could resist falling for Quin. She loved the guy, only as a friend. But...

  That was a fucking lie, and she knew it. If they weren’t on the deck of her boss’s yacht, she would have no doubt straddled him right then and there and rode him all the way back to Miami. But she knew that would never happen. She’d never been so assertive when it came to men. She remembered when Quin had asked her what she liked in bed, and she couldn’t even form the words. As a friend, Quin could do something for her, too. She’d spent her entire adult life behind a computer, and very little time with dating. “Fine,” she said. “I’ll show you how to romance a woman. But you need to do something for me.”

  He smiled. “Anything.”

  “I...” Celia trailed off for a moment, trying to find the right words. “Remember earlier, when we were together, and you asked me to tell you what I wanted?” She paused. “In bed.”

  “I do remember that.”

  “You could probably tell that I’m not the most adventurous lover. I—Oh, God, this is embarrassing.” She shook her head and looked down.

  “Don’t be embarrassed,” he told her. His tone was gentle, and she remembered how vulnerable he’d been with her just seconds ago. He was her friend, and she could say anything to him. “Say it,” he told her, shifting closer to her. He put his hand on top of hers, and she felt comfort at his touch “Whatever it is, just say it.”

  Celia took a deep breath. “As long as we have this ‘friends-with-benefits’ arrangement happening,” she said, making air quotes with her fingers, “or whatever it is, if I’m going to show you how to romance a woman, I need you to show me how to make love.” Quin froze and then snickered, bringing his glass to his lips. She punched his shoulder. “Don’t laugh!”

  “Okay, I’m sorry.” He tilted his head and watched her. “Are you serious?”

  “I am. I’ve had some lovers, not many, mind you, but I was always more submissive in bed. And sometimes that’s fine. But I also want to take control. Sometimes I want to be more...” She trailed off again, searching for the right word.

  “Aggressive?” he asked, guessing.

  “Assertive,” she said, correcting him. She took the glass from his hand and her fingertips glanced along his. His skin was warm and smooth, and she had to force herself to concentrate on the conversation they were having.

  “I don’t know. Based on what we did a few hours ago, I don’t think you need any pointers.”

  “I’m pretty sure I froze up and you did all the work there, champ.”

  “Let’s call it a solid team effort.” He held out his fist, and she laughed and bumped hers against it.

  “Either way, I’m drastically behind the curve when it comes to sexiness.”

  “There’s no way in hell that’s true. But I’m not crazy enough to say no to your proposal.”

  “And I won’t say no to you, either.”

  “I think we’ve just managed to complicate our friends-with-benefits arrangement,” he warned her.

  Had they ever! Celia looked up at the clear night sky, as if the stars might hold the answers she was looking for. She was taking a big risk, and she wanted to trust that Quin wouldn’t break her heart once before. Could she trust he wouldn’t do it again? Was there a way to get what she wanted but also protect herself?

  “It’s always been a little complicated between us,” Quin said.

  “Yeah, I know. Do we have a deal?” she asked, extending her hand to him.

  “We do,” he said, shaking it. With one hand still around hers, he put the other hand to her cheek. “One of the best deals I’ve made in a while.” He drew her in for a kiss.

  “What are you guys doing up there?”

  Hastily, Quin and Celia separated when Jared joined them on the deck.

  “Just enjoying the night,” Quin responded. “It’s beautiful out here.”

  “Celia, I stopped by your stateroom. I thought we could take a meeting.”

  “At eleven thirty at night?” Quin asked, interrupting.

  Celia knew that Jared didn’t appreciate Quin second-guessing him.

  “You ever consider minding your own business, Rexford?”

  “Maybe the way you treat your employees in my presence, especially women, is my business.”

  “Celia, excuse us,” Jared said to her.


  She shot an apologetic look at Quin, but he didn’t look afraid or remorseful for speaking up to Jared. “I guess I’ll head down to my cabin,” she said, telling Quin more than Jared.

  * * *

  Quin watched Celia disappear inside and, when she was out of sight, he coolly sipped from his drink and stood slowly as Jared watched him. “What can I do for you, Jared?”

  “Do you have something to say about my relationship with Celia?”

  Quin clenched his jaw and, forgetting the glass, drank rum straight from the bottle. Jared Foster did not have any sort of relationship with Celia. He shook his head. He knew he was blowing it. He was there to butter up Jared Foster and finalize a deal with him, but that didn’t mean he was going to stand by while he disrespected a woman—especially one who worked for him. Especially Celia.

  He found himself caught between biting his tongue and belting the guy. Quin knew which one he would rather do—but he kept hearing Reid’s voice in his head. The one that told him that he had to think about what was best for the business. Jared Foster and Seacoast Prestige was the business he needed, their next step to maintain their spot as the rum preferred by the elite. Whether he liked it or not. “I think it’s important to maintain a professional relationship with anyone on your payroll. It’s too risky.”

  Jared watched him for a moment, and Quin thought he might be reflecting on his treatment of women. But instead of saying anything, he laughed. It was loud, dramatic and derisive. When he was done, he shook his head. “Is that right, Rexford? Is that what you think? I think you should recognize your place here. You’re a guest on my yacht. What happens between me and my employees is none of your concern. And I would ask you to mind your own business if you have any interest in doing business with me. Is that understood?”

  Quin looked at the man in front of him. He truly hated him. But he couldn’t drop the business deal. The only thing that kept him from pushing Jared overboard was that he knew Celia was in her stateroom, waiting for him.

  “And as for Celia, I see how you look at her.”

  “She’s attractive.”

  “She is, and she’s mine.”

  “Is that right?” He knew that wasn’t true. He’d had Celia just a few hours ago, and if he had a say, he would have her again soon.

  “Yeah, why do you think I invited her here?”

  “Well, I assumed it was because she was a capable employee.”

  He laughed. “I’m more interested in how her ass looks in that bathing suit.” He slapped Quin, too hard, on the shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Rexford.”

  “Maybe we can discuss some business matters then.” Quin had to keep his eye on the prize, the endgame. Maybe he would have to put his deal with Celia on the back burner. At least until he was free and clear of her boss. But he thought of the precarious situation that she was in. He didn’t think he would be able to hold his tongue, or his aggression, if Jared did or said anything else to her.

  “Business matters,” Jared said in a mocking tone. “Yeah, maybe.”

  “Why are you dicking me around?” Quin asked. “Do you want this deal or not. It would be good for both of us.”

  “You’re more eager for it than I am,” Jared told him, shrugging. “Part of me doesn’t really give a damn if we shelve your rum. There are alternatives.” Quin stiffened.

  “Like what?”

  “Cain Rum is pretty good. Maybe I’ll contact them,” he said, walking away. Quin blew out a heavy, frustrated breath and took another long drink from the bottle. The Cains were their biggest rivals. The bad blood between the companies ran deep. It was personal. If Quin went back to Miami without a deal with Seacoast Prestige, and saw it go to Cain Rum, he would never make it right with his siblings. He was on the verge of ruining everything and all he could think about was going to find Celia and start those lessons tonight. But as he went down the stairs to the staterooms, he tried to find a way to reconcile his potential deal with Jared with the deal he’d made with Celia. He stood outside her door and raised his hand to knock, but thought better of it, and then lowered it again. He shook his head and returned to his own room, alone.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CELIA HEARD QUIN’S door close across the hall. She’d heard the two distinct sets of footsteps coming down the stairs. One was Jared’s. He walked heavily into his room and slammed the door again. The second set however—Quin’s—she’d heard come close, and she moved closer to the door, almost pressing herself against it, rigid with anticipation. Would Quin come to her? Would they start their lessons tonight? Then there was a stretch of silence, and she pressed her ear to the wood, trying to hear anything on the other side. She pulled away however, when she heard Quin’s door close on the opposite side of the small hallway.

  It surprised her. She’d expected Quin to come find her after his conversation with Jared, but instead he went to his own quarters? What had Jared said to him? She didn’t want to seem like a desperate woman. If the man wanted space, she would give it to him. It was late, so maybe he went to bed. But she wasn’t tired. She was absolutely wired.

  She had things to do, anyway. She went to her desk and booted up her laptop. She’d been reflecting on her conversation with Quin. She’d had a terrible day, but the evening had taken an incredible turn. She sat and finished uploading the audio she’d recorded that day. Even though the recorder had been running when Jared had barged into her room, it hadn’t picked up much of what he’d said. The audio wasn’t clear enough to provide a case against him. She needed as much as possible. It shouldn’t be hard. Jared was a disgusting man, and she had two more days trapped on a yacht with him.

  Then on the recording, she heard Quin. When he’d come to her, knocking on her door, making sure she was okay. She gasped when she realized that the recorder had been running while they had sex. She knew she should turn it off, but she couldn’t let herself do it. She was embarrassed at first, but soon embarrassment faded as she reminisced. She kept listening, as if she could feel it again. His body pressed against hers. How he’d filled her, brought her to orgasm. A warm tingling feeling crawled over her skin.

  She looked over her shoulder at her closed door and wondered if Quin was still awake. He might not have come to her, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t go to him. She turned off the recording and left her own quarters. As quietly as she could, she crossed the hallway and paused outside of Quin’s door. She could hear Quin—his voice was low, but angry. He seemed frustrated at someone on the phone, from the sounds of the one-sided argument. She knocked quietly.

  Quin pulled open the door. His hair was mussed, and his shirt was unbuttoned. His voice softened. “Celia.” He put his phone to his ear. “Reid, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  She cast a look up the hallway to Jared’s quarters. He knew her meaning and opened the door so she could step inside.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m just trying to get something settled with the distillery.”

  “You sounded upset.”

  “Reid and I are just having a little disagreement on a matter. No big deal.”

  Celia looked around. His stateroom was similar to hers. It had all the same features and amenities, but his scent filled it. She looked over his shoulder, betting that bed would be just as comfortable.

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “You know, if I was your girlfriend, I might be a little upset that you didn’t come to say good-night.”

  “Oh, I messed that up already, did I?”

  “That’s okay,” she told him, and put her palms flat on his chest, then pushed him onto the bed. She joined him, straddling his thighs.

  He smiled up at her. “Your lessons are starting early?”

  “No time like the present,” she said, leaning over him, pushing his shirt aside and running her palms up his chest. His rippled muscles tensed under her touch. “Where do you wa
nt me?”

  He chuckled. “I’ve got a couple of ideas. But I thought this was about taking what you want.”

  She hummed. He was right. “All right.” She leaned, nuzzled the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent—cologne and sunscreen, mixed with a scent that was only his. She drew her tongue down the center of his chest. She closed her lips over one of his nipples and he gasped in response. She smiled, continuing her journey southward. His hands smoothed down her back and over her ass and squeezed. He ran his hands over her body, his touch fluid, like a wave rolling over her skin. His touch was her reward for taking control. And she liked it. She was more comfortable in the safe space that Quin provided to do what she wanted.

  She kissed her way down the midline of his rippled abdominal muscles, until she reached the zipper of his pants. He touched her shoulder, applying a little encouraging pressure for a few seconds, but then he pulled back his hands again, giving her the freedom to do what she was comfortable with.

  Crouching near his zipper, she looked up at him, to see his eyes were trained on her. She’d barely touched him yet, but his chest rose and fell, heaving, with every breath he took. His hands were balled into fists at his thighs. She knew what he was doing. He was controlling his hands, not wanting to interfere, encouraging her to do what she wanted.

  She rested her fingers on his zipper, could feel hard cock behind it. She hesitated, not sure exactly what he wanted her to do. How he liked to be touched. He reached down and stroked her cheek. “Are you okay?”

  She smiled. “I am. What do you want me to do?”

  “You’ve got pretty good instincts,” he told her. “I think you know exactly what to do.”

  “You’re showing an awful lot of restraint up there,” she said.

  He blew out a breath. “I’m trying my best,” he groaned. “But if you don’t hurry up and stop torturing me, I just might have to flip you over and take you.”

  A part of her enjoyed the strained look on his face, so as slowly as she could, she lowered the zipper of his slacks and saw that his cock stretched the material of his boxers. She grazed him through the material with her fingernails. His deep groan and the forward push of his hips were her rewards.