A Season for Goodbye

by Lurlene McDaniel

  “It’s an old habit.”

  “Why should I push you away when we’re such … good friends?” She let sarcasm drip over the words. “Am I still on trial, Jeff? Are you waiting for me to prove myself before you get close to me? Do you expect me to take a hike if you have a bleeding episode?”

  Despite the dim light, she saw by the expression on his face that she’d hit the mark. “I don’t have any expectations from you, Lacey.”

  “Liar.”

  The word hung in the air like a lead weight. From far away, thunder rumbled and a cool breeze fluttered the branches of the overhead trees. Lacey caught the scent of rain dancing in the wind. It made her feel reckless and wild. “You want me to disappoint you. You want me to prove that you were right about me all along: ‘Lacey can’t change. She can’t possibly care about some guy who’s sick.’ ”

  “You sent me that message often enough.” Jeff sounded equally angry. “You dumped me for that Todd jerk and then expected me to fall at your feet after you had a change of heart in the hospital.”

  Lacey wondered how their conversation had gone from Michelle to Todd in only a few heated moments. “Is that what you think I did? Do you honestly believe I turned back to you because I had no one else?”

  “Your timing was interesting. You wouldn’t have anything to do with me until you got sick and Todd dropped you.”

  She rocked back on her heels, stunned by what she was hearing. “When I was sick, I reached out to you because I wanted you to be with me. But right now, I don’t care what you believe about me. I see now that I can’t change anything you believe because you’re so determined to be right about me,” she said coldly. “Well, you believe anything you want, Jeff McKensie, because I’ve had it with you. I’m tired of telling you I’m sorry about Todd and the way I ignored you. I’m finished apologizing. In fact,” she added with a toss of her blond hair, “I’m finished with you, period!”

  With that, Lacey spun on her heel and headed back toward Jenny House. She was all the way up on the deck when she realized that Jeff hadn’t bothered to come after her. The realization squelched the last shred of hope for her and Jeff. Michelle was gone. Jeff was gone. There was nothing left for her at Jenny House. And therefore, no reason to stay for the remainder of the summer. Katie and Chelsea would be disappointed, but they’d have to accept her reasons.

  In the lobby, she heard the strains of music and laughter coming from the rec room below. New tears pooled in her eyes. She felt left out. Alone. She caught sight of the giant portrait of Jenny Crawford and slowly walked to the stone fireplace where she allowed her gaze to linger over the beautiful ethereal face. Had Jenny ever felt lonely, she wondered?

  “Lacey?” She heard Katie say her name from across the lobby. “Where’ve you been?”

  “Walking,” Lacey answered. “Thinking.”

  “About what?”

  “About going home.”

  “But why?” Katie’s large blue eyes reflected the lamplight. “Don’t let Michelle’s getting sick throw you. You’re still needed here.”

  “Jeff and I had a huge fight,” Lacey said tonelessly. “It’s over between us, Katie. This time for good. It’ll be too hard hanging around all summer seeing him and knowing we’re through.”

  “But Jeff’s not why you came,” Katie reminded her. “You came to help.”

  “Help who?”

  “We have the play and the video of it to make. We need you.” Katie looked troubled. “Won’t you please sleep on it? No need to make this kind of decision when you’re bummed out. Things’ll look better tomorrow.”

  “Katie—ever the optimist.” Lacey managed a half-smile.

  Latika yelled for Katie to hurry back to the party. “Coming,” Katie returned. She backed away from Lacey, saying, “I’ve got to go, but please promise me you won’t do anything until tomorrow. We’ll talk again.”

  Lacey promised, but she knew her feelings wouldn’t change by the morning. She felt like a failure and she wanted to go home. She rode the elevator up to her floor and stepped off. The halls were so quiet she felt like an intruder. With a sigh, Lacey went to her room, dreading going inside, knowing that Michelle’s space was empty, her belongings packed up by some of the staff.

  Lacey opened the room door and stopped cold in her tracks. There on Michelle’s bed lay Dullas. Her baseball cap was pulled low over her eyes and she was flipping a basketball into the air and catching it. Her head rested on her duffel bag and more of her stuff was spread over the bed and nearby dresser.

  “What are you doing here?” Lacey asked, shocked out of her numbness.

  Dullas didn’t bother to look at her as she answered. “I heard Michelle got shipped out, and so I figured you’d have room in here for me. I mean, I’m not nuts about being in Katie’s room, so I thought I’d move in with you. You got a problem with that?”

  Nine

  LACEY WAS ABSOLUTELY speechless. She stared at Dullas as a hundred retorts ran through her head, but something, some instinct, warned her not to utter any of them. Instead, she asked, “How did you get in here? I locked the door.”

  “I picked the lock.” Dullas sat upright on the bed and elevated the brim of her baseball cap. “But don’t worry, I didn’t steal any of your things.”

  Thoughts raced through Lacey’s mind. Why had Dullas really come to her? How should she handle the situation? Did the disagreeable girl have a malicious motive? What would Katie do? If only she had more experience. To buy time, Lacey crossed to the desk positioned between the two beds and pulled out the chair. She sat down and studied Dullas coolly. “Answer me something, Dullas. This after noon you told me you hated me. Now you want to move in bag and baggage. What gives?”

  “I told you, I hate being in Katie’s room.”

  “So in other words, you hate me less than you hate being in Katie’s room. Is that the story?”

  Dullas flashed Lacey a surly glare, but beneath it Lacey saw another, more subtle, emotion. Fear of rejection? “I don’t expect you to like me the way you liked Michelle. But I hate being with those other girls, and so I figured with you being alone and all, I would tell you I was sorry for this afternoon and move into this room. But if you’re going to get your nose out of joint—” Dullas crawled off the bed and tugged at her duffel bag.

  “Hold up,” Lacey said, making a quick decision. “I didn’t say you couldn’t stay.”

  Dullas eyed her suspiciously. “So I can stay?”

  Lacey noted that Dullas hadn’t asked, “Can I stay?” Why was she always so truculent? “I’ll have to check with Kimbra.”

  “That’s cool.”

  “And of course, if she agrees, I’ll have a few rules for you.”

  “I should’ve figured there’d be strings.”

  Lacey ignored her whine. “First, clean up your act.” Dullas mumbled an expletive. “Beginning with your language,” Lacey demanded. “Second, I expect you to participate in our group’s activities.” Dullas groaned, but she didn’t say anything crude. Progress, of a sort, Lacey told herself. “And third, change your attitude. We still have part of the summer ahead and I won’t live with someone who hates every single minute she’s here at Jenny House.”

  “I really don’t like being here.”

  “Excuse me?” Lacey asked, leaning in closer. “I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

  Dullas stared blankly, then caught on to Lacey’s meaning. “Okay. Being here ain’t so horrible.”

  “That’s better.’ Lacey straightened. “Well, since we’ve missed most of the party, I think we should get ready for bed.”

  “Can I put my stuff away first?”

  “Suits me.” Lacey went into the bathroom and closed the door. She leaned heavily against the solid wood surface, her mind in a whirl. Minutes before, she’d been ready to pack up and go home. Yet Dullas’s request to move in with her had changed her plans. She wasn’t sure why she’d agreed. Agreeing meant staying at Jenny House.

  La
cey shook her head, as if to clear out the muddle of emotions lodged there. So much had happened in the span of a few short hours, but the bottom line was that she had inherited Dullas, the most obnoxious female Lacey had ever met. “Why me?” she groaned under her breath. But, deep down, she knew why. She knew she wasn’t a quitter. No matter what Jeff thought about her, Lacey Duval was no quitter.

  “If you’d stick it out with her, we’d be grateful.” Kimbra made her announcement to Lacey and Katie the next morning after breakfast in a small conference room in the administrative wing of Jenny House. “I’ve been checking into sending her back to Tampa, but there’s still no foster home for her yet.”

  “Small wonder,” Lacey muttered.

  “Look, I know Dullas is a problem kid, but she really has had a pretty rough life.” Kimbra opened the folder in front of her. “Her mother split when she was eight. Her father was jailed for arson and insurance fraud when she was ten. Since she had no other relatives, she became a ward of the state and has lived in five foster homes in three years. Nine months ago she was diagnosed with leukemia. She underwent hospitalization and chemo, and the foster family that was keeping her just couldn’t manage anymore. The state and federal government pay her medical bills, but what she really needs is a stable home environment.”

  “Poor kid,” Katie said sympathetically. “No wonder she’s so unfriendly. I guess it’s hard for her to believe anybody honestly cares about her.”

  “She snores,” Lacey grumbled, but the information about Dullas did affect her.

  Kimbra tapped the tabletop thoughtfully. “You have a vote in this, Lacey. If you don’t want to be responsible for Dullas, you don’t have to be. But for some reason, she seems to have bonded with you. And if you’re willing to give it a try, we’d be very appreciative.”

  Lacey glanced between the faces of Kimbra and Katie and saw that they were counting on her. She sighed. “I’m not heartless, you know. I’ll make an effort with her.”

  A smile brightened Kimbra’s face. “I’ll tell Mr. Holloway. He’ll be pleased. He told me you had a sweet streak regardless of how much you might try and hide it.”

  Lacey arched her eyebrow. “No reason to assassinate my character.”

  Kimbra laughed and stood. “You remind me a little of myself when I was your age. I had a similar frame of mind, but no matter how hard I tried to withdraw, I couldn’t. Jenny always got me involved.”

  Katie bolted upright. “So you did know Jenny Crawford,” she exclaimed. “Tell me about her. Please. I’ve wanted to know more for ages, but didn’t know how to ask.”

  Kimbra appeared flustered. “That was years ago.”

  “Then what’s the big secret?”

  “No secret. It’s nothing I talk about. Partly out of respect for her One Last Wish Foundation. Partly because even now, after almost twenty years, it’s still painful to recall losing her.”

  “Please tell me,” Katie pleaded.

  “We met in the hospital. There were three other girls in our little group, but they all died. I was the only one to survive.” She held up the stump of her arm. “And this reminds me of it every day.”

  “But what was Jenny like? How did she ever come up with the idea to give so much money away?” Katie asked. Lacey could tell that Katie was determined not to let Kimbra leave the room until her curiosity was satisfied.

  Kimbra thought for a moment. “Actually, she had something in common with Dullas.”

  “Go on,” Lacey chided.

  “It’s true. They were both parentless. Except that Jenny had a better break. She had a grandmother who took her in. I remember Mrs. Crawford vividly. Tough as a steel rod. Even resembled one. She was rich and powerful, and people quaked when she arched an eyebrow.”

  Lacey and Katie exchanged glances. “How did Jenny manage?” Katie wanted to know.

  Kimbra smiled. “I’ve never known anyone so full of love and tenderness as Jenny. She melted that old woman’s heart like fire melts ice. But that was Jenny’s way. She simply loved you until you had to love her back.”

  “Did Mr. Holloway love her? I’ve seen him standing in the lobby staring up at her portrait.”

  “Boy, Katie, not much gets by you, does it?” Kimbra nodded. “Yes, he loved her. But he was older and her grandmother never approved of their relationship. Still, Jenny loved him with a passion. I remember when he’d come to see her in the hospital. Jenny’s friends were green with envy. He was so handsome.” Kimbra’s smile faded. “He was with her when she died.”

  Lacey swallowed hard. The image of Mr. Holloway sitting by the bedside of the dying Jenny filled her mind’s eye. “Sad,” she said.

  “Very sad,” Kimbra agreed. “But between Jenny and her grandmother’s generosity, we have Jenny House. And kids like Katie who didn’t die. And people like me who got to grow up and have a career in nursing and counseling. I’m married and have two children, but when I heard that there was a need for volunteer staff for Jenny House, I gave up my summer to come and work here.”

  “You’re a volunteer like we are?”

  “Most of the staff are volunteers. As for me, I got to see Richard again. I got to see the results of Jenny’s short life and death. It’s worth it.”

  Once Kimbra had gone, Lacey and Katie sat looking at one another. “I had no idea,” Katie said.

  Lacey felt melancholy. In less than twenty-four hours, she’d lost Michelle and Jeff and gained Dullas. And she’d heard about a very unselfish and caring girl who did something wonderful with her life. Lacey longed to feel that same kind of altruism, but in truth, she dreaded spending the rest of the summer dealing with Dullas and not having Jeff as a boyfriend.

  Katie pushed back her chair and stood. “Well, if memory serves, we’ve got a trail ride and a barbecue today. Maybe if we put Dullas between us, we can keep her under guard.”

  “Just the way I want to spend my day.” Lacey sighed.

  Katie looped her arm through Lacey’s. “I’m proud of you, Lace. Deciding to take on dear Dullas. If anyone can bring her around, it’s you.”

  Modestly hanging her head, Lacey drawled, “Aw, shucks. It’s nothing.”

  She heard Katie laugh, but inwardly Lacey was anxious and unsure of herself. She knew that she was no Jenny Crawford.

  Ten

  “WHY YOU DON’T ride up alongside DJ and start making small talk, Chelsea? If it were me, I would.”

  Lacey’s advice only made Chelsea feel more self-conscious than ever. They were riding horseback through the woods toward a picnic site. All around them, kids were having fun, laughing and telling jokes from atop their horses. Even Dullas, who was sandwiched between Lacey and Katie, seemed to be enjoying herself. Chelsea glanced over at Lacey and said, “I’m telling you, he avoids me like I’m an untouchable or something.”

  “Lacey’s right,” Dullas piped in. “Nobody ever got nothing by doing nothing.”

  “Thank you,” Lacey declared with a smug smile. “She has a point, you know.”

  Dullas seemed to visibly swell with pride over Lacey’s praise.

  “Guys fall at your feet,” Chelsea told Lacey defensively. “You don’t know what it’s like to be rejected.” Chelsea saw Lacey catch Katie’s eye, but neither spoke. “Okay, you two, what are you hiding?”

  “Lacey and Jeff are on the outs,” Dullas offered. “I heard her talking to Katie about it.”

  “Eavesdropping is rude,” Lacey insisted. “I thought you were going to behave yourself when you moved in with me.”

  “So sue me.”

  Ignoring the exchange between Dullas and Lacey, Chelsea asked, “Are you and Jeff having problems? Why didn’t you say anything to me?”

  “Jeff and I are finished,” Lacey said matter-of-factly.

  “No way.”

  Lacey waved away Chelsea’s protest. “It’s better this way. He’ll never believe that I really care about him. He’s expecting me to dump him, and nothing I say convinces him otherwise. So why disappoint hi
m? I dumped him.”

  Chelsea wasn’t fooled by Lacey’s air of indifference. She started to press for further details, but Katie flashed her a signal to back off.

  At that moment on the trail ride, the woods began to thin out and soon the group of riders was headed across a grassy field, toward picnic tables set up along a mountain stream. Eagerly, the horses pricked up their ears as they caught the sound of water. “I guess that’s where we’re headed,” Chelsea said, feeling nervous over her horse’s tug on the reins.

  “Let’s go faster,” Dullas said as several of the riders spurred their horses into a trot across the field.

  “You go on,” Chelsea insisted to her friends. “I’ll catch up.” She saw DJ in the front of the group of riders. He rode tall, like a man accustomed to feeling the wind in his face. Still, he glanced quickly about, making sure that none of the riders got into trouble.

  “Aw, come on,” Dullas insisted.

  “We’ll get there,” Lacey told her. “No need to rush.”

  “We’ll stick with Chelsea,” Katie said, holding her horse back from joining the others.

  Behind her, Chelsea heard Dullas let out an exasperated grunt and knew Dullas wasn’t pleased with the decision. “No guts,” Dullas muttered loud enough for Chelsea to hear. “That’s your problem, girl.” Suddenly, without warning, Chelsea heard Dullas yell “Yah!” and heard her slap the rump of Chelsea’s horse.

  Chelsea screeched as her horse broke into a gallop. She dropped the reins and clung to the saddle horn for dear life, terror ripping through her. She felt herself slipping to one side of the saddle and watched the ground flying beneath the horse’s pounding hooves.

  Certain she could cling no longer, Chelsea shut her eyes, not wanting to see the hooves and ground strike her. Then, just as suddenly, she heard a rider alongside of her, felt a tugging at her horse’s bridle. A voice said, “Whoa, fella. Whoa.”

  Miraculously, her horse slowed. When he finally halted, Chelsea slid to the ground in a heap. In a moment, her rescuer was off his horse and beside her. “Are you okay?” DJ asked.