A Season for Goodbye

by Lurlene McDaniel

  “From what reports about him tell us, he wasn’t much of a father,” Kimbra said gently. “He was always in trouble with the police. He earned a living as an arsonist—for a price he’d set fires to enable other people to defraud insurance companies. He used to go off and leave Dullas alone in their apartment with no food and no phone. The state had to take her into protective custody for her own safety.”

  Lacey glanced between their two concerned expressions. “Kids don’t get to pick their parents. But that doesn’t mean you don’t want to be part of a family. Dullas isn’t any different than any of us in that way. Didn’t you tell me that Jenny Crawford was an orphan?”

  Kimbra nodded.

  “Well, I’ll bet that even though her grandmother loved her like crazy, Jenny still wanted to have her parents with her. Love, or no love, doesn’t change what a person wants deep down in her heart.”

  Richard studied Lacey thoughtfully. “You’re right, of course. My years as an attorney left me with an aptitude for judging human nature, so I hear what you’re saying.” He leaned back into his leather desk chair. “You’re telling us that Dullas isn’t a threat to anybody. She’s wild and unpredictable, but not in a dangerous way.”

  “Exactly.”

  “And you want to ride out the remainder of the summer with her.”

  Lacey swallowed hard, realizing she was being given even more responsibility, but she knew she didn’t have a choice. She couldn’t let them send Dullas away. “Yes. We only have five weeks before we all have to go home. Maybe by then, another foster family will be found to take Dullas.”

  “Maybe,” Kimbra said.

  Lacey started for the door and heard Richard say, “But if there’s one more peep of trouble out of her, she’s leaving.”

  “I think she’s over the worst of it, Mr. Holloway. I really do. She’s helping with our play and trying much harder to get along with the other kids.”

  Lacey escaped from Mr. Holloway’s office and hurried to the lobby, where kids were working on the play. Dullas was seated at a table writing on a tablet while Chelsea was dictating. Dullas looked calm and concentrated, the picture of cooperation.

  “How’d it go?” Katie whispered in Lacey’s ear.

  “They wanted to send her away, but I talked them out of it.”

  Katie looked surprised. “It was a legitimate way of getting rid of her. Why’d you do it?”

  “I feel sorry for her.”

  “So did I. At first.”

  “Yeah, well, you know how I hate to have people telling me what to do.”

  “You’re really a softie underneath, aren’t you.”

  Lacey offered a frosty stare. “Why are you insulting me? I’m tough and mean. And don’t forget it.”

  Katie smiled at her. “Never.”

  Lacey offered a sheepish smile in return. “This growing up and acting like an adult is hard stuff, Katie.”

  “You got that right.” Katie gazed wistfully at the younger girls giggling together as they worked and thought of herself before the days of her heart transplant. The days before surgery and antirejection medications when she ran without worrying and dreamed of the Olympics. “It’s the hardest thing in the world.”

  “Katie, wait up,” Josh called.

  Katie was on her way down to the cafeteria for dinner with the gang. “Hi,” she said, smiling. She’d been so busy the past couple of days that she’d hardly seen Josh at all. She told the others to go on without her. “What’s up?”

  “That’s what I’m asking you.”

  By now, the lobby was empty and Josh had walked with her over to the stone fireplace. “What do you mean?”

  “Someone said you met some guy out on the hiking trail a few nights ago,” Josh blurted. “Is it true?”

  Katie’s good humor evaporated and her stomach tensed. “Who told you that?”

  “It doesn’t matter. Is it true?”

  She saw anger in the challenging glare of his eyes. It had been weeks since they’d argued and she’d almost forgotten the awful tension she felt when he acted possessive. She returned his glare and realized with a start that she was sick and tired of continuously walking on eggshells around him. “If you must know. Garrison drove over to say hello from Duke, where his father was teaching a seminar.”

  “Garrison! I thought you and he were history.”

  “Stop it. Josh! Stop it, this minute.” Katie felt her blood pounding in her ears. “He and I are friends and all we’ve ever been is friends. You’re the one who keeps trying to read something into him and me.”

  “Yeah, he’s your friend, all right. He made it clear that he wanted to date you.”

  “But I didn’t date him. Josh. I’ve never dated anybody but you.” She crossed her arms, every muscle in her body taut. “And maybe that’s part of the whole problem. Maybe I should have dated him. Maybe I should be dating lots of other guys. Maybe dating others would help me figure out what I really feel toward you.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean? That I’m not good enough for you?”

  “No. That I’m not ready to settle down.” She spun, but he caught her arm. She pulled it from his grasp. “And since we’re at each other’s throats, you may as well know that the Arizona coach wrote me about the scholarship again. He needs an answer about my intentions, or he’s going to withdraw his offer.”

  Some of the angry red color drained from Josh’s face. “Aren’t you going to tell him you haven’t made up your mind yet?”

  “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? You’d like me to keep riding the fence until the offer’s withdrawn and I have no choice but to stay home in Michigan.”

  “That’s not fair. You know I want to see you run track.”

  “Sure—so long as it’s on your terms.”

  “But what about us, Katie? What about our plans? What about me wanting to marry you?”

  She was shaking now, and tears were threatening to erupt. She forced them down, knowing she didn’t want to cry like a baby. “Let me ask you something. Josh. What did your brother want to do with his life?”

  “Aaron? What’s he got to do with this?”

  She balled her fist against her breast. “His heart’s inside me and I’m responsible for it. And I want to know what he wanted for his life. What he dreamed about.”

  Katie saw moisture spring into Josh’s blue eyes. “He wanted to play football. H-he used to wonder if he was good enough to be drafted by the NFL. He told me that if he had a good four years at Michigan, he’d be in the running for a pro career.”

  “Did you want that for him?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then why can’t you want it for me? Why can’t you let me go after what I want?”

  Silence hung over them in the lodge. If she lived to be a hundred, she’d never forget the expression of turmoil and pain on Josh’s face. She hated herself for causing it. She felt a sick sensation in the pit of her stomach.

  He didn’t answer her. And then the glass double doors of the lobby swung open and DJ barreled into the lodge. He yelled, “Quick! Call an ambulance. Jeff’s been kicked by a horse!”

  Fifteen

  KATIE PACED THE floor of the hospital waiting room while glancing anxiously at Lacey, who sat hunched over in a chair staring at the carpet. Had it only been last summer since they’d been in that very room waiting in shifts to visit Amanda? It seemed uncanny that the same people were waiting once more for news about a member of Jenny House: herself, Lacey, and Chelsea. Missing was Jeff. This time he was the patient, and he was still down in the emergency room. At least Mr. Holloway was with him. Kimbra, who’d driven Jeff’s friends to the hospital, sat next to Lacey and DJ stood staring out the lone window that overlooked the hospital parking lot.

  Josh was back at the House, waiting for word and consoling the boys from Jeff’s room. Katie shook her head to clear it of the angry words she and Josh were having when the news about Jeff had come. They’d parted in mid-argument. Katie realized tha
t they’d solved nothing, but right now, all she wanted to think about was Jeff and comforting her friends.

  “How long before they tell us something?” Lacey asked. Her voice sounded tight and scared. “It’s been over two hours since the ambulance brought him in.”

  “I don’t know,” Kimbra said. “We have to be patient.”

  “I don’t do ‘patient’ well.”

  Kimbra patted Lacey’s hand. “I’m anxious about him too.” She stood. “I’ll run down to ER and see if Richard knows anything. You all wait here.”

  Kimbra left and Lacey made a beeline for DJ. “How could you have let something like this happen? You knew Jeff has hemophilia. You knew how risky it is for him to have a bleeding episode.”

  DJ looked startled by Lacey’s vehemence.

  Chelsea came quickly to his aid. “Don’t blame DJ. I’m sure it wasn’t his fault.”

  “How do you know? He’s responsible for the horses. He should have been watching more carefully.”

  Katie slipped into the foray, putting herself between Lacey and DJ. “Yelling at each other won’t help,” she said.

  DJ glared at Lacey over Katie’s shoulder. “It wasn’t anybody’s fault. I was washing down one of the horses and Jeff came by to talk. I think a horsefly bit the animal just as Jeff was walking around him. The horse kicked and connected with Jeff. It was an accident.”

  “An accident that could cause him to bleed to death!”

  Chelsea gasped. “Lacey, that’s not fair. Don’t blame DJ.”

  DJ shoved away from the window and the group. “I don’t need you dumping on me about this. I feel rotten about it. Jeff’s a friend and there’s no way I want anything bad to happen to him.” He glared at Chelsea, his eyes troubled, his lips pressed into a line. “And I don’t need you defending me. I can take care of myself.”

  The three girls watched him stalk out of the waiting room.

  “I’m sure he didn’t mean to snap at you,” Katie told Chelsea hastily, seeing the pained expression on her face. “He was just reacting.” She turned to Lacey, adding, “Just like you were reacting. Honestly, Lacey, surely you know DJ’s not to blame for Jeff’s accident.”

  Lacey hunkered down and swiped at tears in her eyes. “I’m mad, that’s all. I guess I shouldn’t have taken it out on DJ. He was handy and he was there when it happened. It shouldn’t have even happened.” She directed her attention toward Chelsea. “It’s just that this is so serious, you know?”

  Chelsea said nothing, but Katie could tell she was still smarting from DJ’s remark to her. Why had he taken out his frustration on poor Chelsea, Katie wondered. Couldn’t he tell how much she cared about him?

  Katie and Chelsea walked Lacey back to her chair and they settled on a blue upholstered settee across from the chair. In one corner a TV set was turned to an afternoon soap opera. The volume was low, the actors’ voices barely audible. “I don’t know much about hemophilia,” Katie admitted. “Do you?”

  Lacey sniffed and nodded. “I’ve read up on it. I figured that since Jeff’s a part of my life, I should know about his medical problems.”

  “Tell us about it.” Katie was curious, but she also knew it would be a good thing to keep Lacey’s mind off time crawling past as they waited for word about Jeff.

  “His blood lacks some clotting factor. The factor’s found in blood plasma and the sooner he gets this stuff into him, the better the chance of stopping the bleeding and putting off damage.”

  “What kind of damage?”

  “Well, if he bleeds internally, which is what’s happening now, the blood makes him swell, and if it doesn’t clot, he’ll bleed to death.”

  “But if they give him the clotting factor, won’t that stop the bleeding?”

  “Yes, but he’s still got all this blood from the injury inside him. It has to go somewhere. He got kicked on the thigh. His leg was already horribly swollen by the time the ambulance arrived. I saw it. The medic had to cut away Jeff’s jeans because his leg was so swollen.”

  “I saw them pack his leg in ice,” Katie said. “That’ll keep the swelling down.”

  “That helps some, but he’s got to get that clotting factor into him in an IV.”

  “I’m sure they’re doing that now down in ER.”

  “Then once the bleeding’s under control, they have to get rid of the clotted blood inside his leg. If they don’t dissolve it, it could be life threatening. Sometimes the blood settles into joints and over time can cause arthritis.”

  Katie saw the complexity of his medical situation and marveled over the way he’d managed to maintain the semblance of a normal life every day. She recalled his thoughtful nature and friendly smile. “I’m sure he’ll be all right.”

  “He’d better be,” Lacey said, glaring at the spot by the window where DJ had stood.

  It was another fifteen minutes before Kimbra came back into the waiting room. She looked tired, but less worried. “They’re getting the bleeding under control,” she told the girls. “And they’ve talked to his hematologist in Miami.”

  “Thank God,” Chelsea said.

  “I want to see him,” Lacey insisted. “When can I see him?”

  “Soon. They’re going to send him upstairs and check him into a room.”

  “For how long?” Lacey looked dismayed.

  “The ER doctor said it’ll take at least twenty-four hours for the clotting factor to stop the bleeding. After that, if no new bleeding occurs at the site, it may take five days to a week for his leg to return to normal. They’ll keep Jeff under observation for at least three or four days and if he looks good, they’ll release him. But he’ll have to use crutches for maybe another week.”

  “But he’s going to be okay?”

  Kimbra put her arm around Lacey’s waist. “We’ll know better in a couple of days.” She looked around. “Where’s DJ?”

  “He—um—went downstairs. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”

  “I’m going to call Jenny House and give them an update,” Kimbra said. “I know everyone’s worried about Jeff. When DJ returns ask him to stay put. I don’t want to lose track of any of you.”

  In another fifteen minutes, DJ returned. Katie spied a Band-Aid taped over a cotton ball in the inner side of his elbow. “What’s that for?”

  “I donated blood to Jeff’s cause,” DJ said with a scowl at Lacey. “I figured it was the least I could do.”

  The three girls traded glances. Katie knew that they couldn’t do the same for Jeff because of their medical problems. “It was nice of you,” she said.

  Chelsea nodded, scared to say anything. Afraid DJ might go off on her again.

  Minutes later, Kimbra returned to say that Jeff had just been put in a private room down the hall. The group hurried down the long corridor to gather outside his closed door. “Me first,” Lacey announced.

  Katie stepped aside with the others, figuring that Lacey did have the most right to visit with him before herself and the others. “Don’t start a fight with him,” Katie mumbled to Lacey under her breath.

  “I won’t. But I am nervous. We haven’t exactly been on friendly terms lately.” Lacey tossed her mane of blond hair and stepped through the doorway.

  Jeff lay in a hospital bed, his leg elevated and loosely covered with the bedsheet. His tangle of brown hair spilled across his forehead and seemed a stark contrast to the clean white pillow. An IV pole stood on the far side of the bed and bags of clear liquid hung down. Plastic tubing draped downward and was taped against his forearm. She knew from experience that an IV needle had been threaded into his vein. Lacey calmed the butterflies in her stomach and approached the side of his bed. “Hi.”

  He turned his head toward her. “Hi yourself.”

  She noticed that he didn’t offer her a smile. “I’ll bet your leg hurts.”

  He said nothing.

  “I’ve been worried about you.”

  His lips pressed together and his eyes regarded her warily. She allowed her g
aze to trace along the IV lines. Jeff followed the path her gaze took. Finally, he said, “Take a good long look, Lacey. Because this is how it is for me. This is how it’s always going to be. Except that someday they won’t be able to stop the bleeding.”

  “I know what’s happening to you,” she said with a defiant lift of her chin. “I understand the facts of your life.”

  “I’ll bet.” He balled the bedsheet in his fists. “Now that you’ve seen me, go away. Go away and leave me alone. You see, I don’t want you in my life any more than you want me in yours.”

  Sixteen

  THE TONE OF hostility in Jeff’s voice unnerved Lacey. She’d learned long ago that what a person said wasn’t nearly so meaningful as the way it was said. “I never said I wanted you out of my life,” she told him.

  “Correction—your wording was, I want you out of my life, period.’ ” When she didn’t respond, he asked, “Did I misquote you or something? Because if I did, I’ll apologize.”

  Lacey felt her face flush crimson. Of course, he’d quoted her exactly. “All right, I did say it. But I didn’t mean it.”

  “Then why did you say it?”

  She squirmed, hating to be on the defensive. “I was angry. Haven’t you ever said something you didn’t mean when you got angry? Or are you perfect?”

  “Don’t go trying to turn the tables on me, Lacey. Don’t try and make me the fall guy in this.”

  She wanted to give him a tongue-lashing, but seeing him stretched out on the bed, looking helpless, curbed her anger. She sighed. “I didn’t come in here to fight with you, Jeff. I don’t like fighting with you. I—I’ve been worried sick about you. I just want you to be all right.”

  The angry scowl left his face and all at once he looked tired and drained. “And I didn’t mean to blast you either. I guess this whole incident caught me off guard. I’ve been feeling really good this summer. Sometimes I forget about my condition. I try and be so careful … and then, out of the blue, I get kicked by a horse. Go figure.”