Chaos & the Geek (Grace Grayson Security Book 1)

by Elizabeth Stevens

  After I pulled on my jacket, I leant over and kissed her temple. “Have a good day, gorgeous,” I whispered.

  She didn’t seem to wake properly, but she smiled and mumbled, “You too.”

  I had to stop myself skipping out the door like the grown arse man I was.

  “Good morning, Donald,” I said as I stepped into the lift.

  “Morning, Mr Grayson. You’re in a good mood for a Monday.”

  I smiled at him. “I am.”

  I don’t want to admit it, but I’m pretty sure I had to stop myself dancing a little on the way to my SUV and I just had to hope the security cameras hadn’t picked up my uncharacteristic behaviour.

  As I drove to work, I wondered why the hell I felt so good.

  Yes, I’d been somewhat deprived of sex lately and it felt good to release all that pent-up energy. But it was more than that – I hadn’t been this excited about sex since I’d lost my virginity.

  It had to be Amber. It was something about that absolutely gorgeous little geek that had me smiling like an idiot. Something about that funny, sassy, beautiful woman that just made me crazy about her.

  “Your best mate’s little sister,” I reminded myself and felt like I’d been dunked in another icy lake. “Fuck.”

  I punched the steering wheel as I pulled into my parking spot.

  “Fuck!” I leant on the steering wheel and shook my head. “What the fuck have you done, you idiot?”

  I took a deep breath and forced myself to relax.

  “He’s just going to have to deal. No. Better yet. He doesn’t have to know,” I muttered to myself as I got out of the car. “Talk to Amber tonight, then work out if Hawk does or doesn’t need to know.”

  I had no idea what I was going to say to Amber, what our conversation would involve, but just at the thought of her I was grinning again.

  “You are fucked,” I told myself as I took the lift up to the office.

  I was the first one in, unsurprisingly. But that was good because I caught myself humming along to the radio a couple of times. I didn’t realise I was singing along with ‘Original Prankster’ until I heard a noise behind me.

  I whirled, my hand instinctively going to my back, to find Rollie and Hawk standing at the door to my office and Rollie’s phone camera was pointing in my direction. He was about to burst into laughter and Hawk was trying to shush him.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, my eyes narrowing.

  Hawk sniggered, “I haven’t seen you even hum since basic training.”

  By the end of the sentence, he was full on laughing and Rollie had joined him. Both of them were in danger of folding in half from the force of their humour.

  I pulled at my jacket and cleared my throat. “Guy’s not allowed to sing now?” I muttered grumpily.

  Hawk shook his head. “No. By all means.”

  “Camera’s rolling,” Rollie added eagerly.

  I frowned as I stepped towards them and grabbed Rollie’s phone. “Fuck off, the both of you.”

  Hawk smacked my arse. “And what’s put you in this good mood?” he sang.

  I shoved him away. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

  “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he got laid last night,” Rollie chuckled as he helped himself to my chair.

  I scoffed, feeling my mask fall into place. “I wish. I was too busy playing nursemaid.”

  Hawk nodded. “Ah. Bert put in some time worshipping the porcelain goddess, did she?”

  I smirked. “No. She twisted her ankle on the way back to the Mayhew.”

  Hawk lost a little humour. “She okay?”

  She was okay enough for me to give her what she’d been lacking all these years. I cleared my throat again. “Yeah. Seemed fine. Little tender, but nothing broken.”

  Hawk nodded. “Good. Right. Well, unless you’ve got some more performing to do, what are the plans for the day?”

  I shook my head at him and the three of us went over the day’s agenda together until Tank rolled in around eleven looking a little worse for wear. Which was an interesting look on a guy his size.

  “Bagel, mate?” Rollie asked and Tank visible gagged.

  He shook his head. “Nope.”

  I smirked. “Get the man a bucket, would you Rollie?”

  Tank glared at me. He disapproved of a lot really, but this disapproval took the cake for disapproving glares.

  “Oi,” Rollie said to him. “Don’t blame us for being a lightweight.”

  Tank turned his glare on him and I knew it was mainly because he knew Rollie was right. Tank was the cheapest date among us. Unsurprisingly, Rollie was the most expensive – and that wasn’t even taking into account his taste for the finest liquor.

  I missed Tank’s rumbled reply as Nico wandering out of the lift had caught my eye. He was wearing his tracksuit pants, his oldest Chucks, and his baggiest hoody. He still wore his sunglasses and his beanie was skewed to say the least.

  “S’all right!” Hawk laughed. “Someone’s pulled up worse than you.”

  Nico spared everyone the finger and disappeared into his office. He closed the door and kept the lights off.

  “Next Champers Day. Less champagne…” Tank muttered, hauling himself off my couch and plodding to his own office.

  “Has he got any classes today?” Rollie asked, spritely as ever as he bounced around despite having drunk Tank under about six tables.

  I pulled up the calendar and sighed. “Yeah. Flo’s coming in for one-on-one at two, then he’s got a new client at four.” I frowned as I went into the four o’clock one.

  “What?” Rollie asked.

  I shook my head. “VIP.”

  “Oh.” That definitely had his attention. “I just so happen to be free at four o’clock. What a happy coincidence.”

  I looked at him to find him grinning winningly. If there was something Rollie did well, it was looking defiantly innocent and utterly cheeky at the same time.

  “Don’t get your panties in a knot, she’s not like super VIP, she just has money to burn for discretion.”

  Rollie shrugged. “VIP is VIP. Can I? Can I, please!” He clasped his hands under his chin and batted his eyes.

  I fought a smirk. “Fine. Yes. Last thing we need is Tank spewing all over her.”

  “I can do two,” Hawk said, barely lifting his eyes from his phone.

  I shook my head. “Mrs Fortescue.”

  “Oh, fuck,” Hawk muttered, dropping his phone into his lap, as Rollie barked a laugh. “What does she want now?”

  “Escort to a lunch. Nothing big. Mr Fortescue apparently has other plans.”

  “What’s he doing? I’ll go keep an eye on him.”

  “Being married to her, probably shit he doesn’t want a witness for, mate,” Rollie laughed.

  “Why me?” Hawk whined.

  “She requested you,” I said simply.

  “Wait. What?”

  I nodded. “She requested the presence of one Mr Patrick Grace for his – and I quote – ‘cheeky elegance’.”

  Rollie snorted so hard he fell backwards, taking my chair with him. That should teach him to lean back on it precariously. Should. Wouldn’t.

  “Shit!” Rollie said through his laughter and that sent Hawk off, which sent me off.

  Movement caught my eye and I saw Nico had stopped at my door, both hands wrapped around a mug and still wearing his sunglasses. Even then, I could tell he was scowling at us.

  “How you holding up?” Hawk asked him.

  “Fuck you all,” was Nico’s deadpan response. He took a defiant sip of coffee, gave us all a pointed disapproving look, and strode purposefully back into his office.

  So of course, we all started laughing again.

  “All right, what happened to our grumpy arse boss?” Hawk laughed.

  I shrugged. “I have no idea what you mean.”

  “It’s like invasion of the fucking body snatchers
up in here,” Rollie said as he dragged himself off the floor.

  “You right?” I asked as he winced.

  He huffed a laugh. “Oh, that’s gonna leave a fucker of a bruise,” he groaned as he finally got himself to standing. “No distractions. What’s up with you this morning. We’re all over here nursing hangovers from hell and your fucking giggling.”

  I sniffed against one of those full-blown goofy grins. “Nothing. I’m just in a good mood. So, sue me.”

  Rollie grinned as he hobbled towards the door, his hand on his hip like my grandma used to do. “Fine. Keep your secrets.”

  “You sure you’re right?” Hawk called as Rollie kept on hobbling down the corridor.

  Rollie’s only answer was a flail of his arm in a general ‘all good’ motion.

  “Right. Secret time,” Hawk said to me when we were alone.

  The guilt really hit me then. I’d never outright lied to my best friend before, but I was going to have to. “No secret. I’m just in a good mood.”

  Hawk leant towards me and scruitinised me intently. “I guess a week of Bert’ll make a guy lose his mind after all.” He smirked.

  “Your sister’s not that bad,” I huffed.

  “Nah, I’m joshing. I really appreciate you taking her in, man. I know how much she wouldn’t have wanted to go home. And I know she’s safe this way.”

  I swallowed, turning away from him so he couldn’t see my face. “Nah. Of course. My pleasure.” It sure had been.

  “You don’t know how much it means that you two are finally getting along.”

  I nodded. “I do, man. I do.”

  Hawk slapped my shoulder on his way out. “You both mean the world to me.”

  I let him go with no more than a nod. His tone told me that was the end of the conversation and I was okay with that. Hawk and I were never big on emotional declarations. When they were necessary, they were necessary. But neither of us liked being vulnerable, it reminded us of our mortality and impaired our ability to neutralise danger.

  Besides, I didn’t know if I could give him an answer that wouldn’t betray the guilt I felt about his sister. Not that I was hampered by it for long and, on many levels, that made me feel more guilty. But I couldn’t help it.

  Rollie caught me actually literally spinning down the corridor at one point like I was about to break into a dance number. When I heard his snort, I even ran into the window of Hawk’s office and it was obvious he’d seen as well.

  So, that was how well my day went; I kept being caught out doing something goofy, the team would tease me, and I’d try not to do anything else stupid. Rinse and repeat. Too many times.

  When I got home, I wasn’t sure what I’d been expecting. But I was still in a brilliant mood. I felt like nothing could pull me down. And frankly, if my guilt and the team’s teasing all day hadn’t done it, then nothing was going to be able to.

  Nothing except the look on Amber’s face when she saw me walk out of the lift.

  She was crossing the end of the hallway from the kitchen and looked like I’d just caught her stealing something. She was in jeans and an oversized jumper, her hair up and her glasses making her eyes bright.

  “Hey,” I said, dropping my bag by the door to my study.

  “Hi.” Her eyes darted around like she was looking for an escape route.

  Something ugly hit me. If felt like Tank had punched me in the gut. I never wanted her to feel like that, especially not with me. The only reason I could think for her behaviour was something I fervently wished wasn’t true; she regretted the night before.

  “How was your day?” I asked, trying to keep my tone light and casual as I walked towards her.

  She nodded and pressed her lips together. “Uh, good. Yours?”

  I nodded as well, an uneasy trepidation filling me slowly. “Fine. I spent all day being teased mercilessly, but it was worth it.”

  Those violet eyes flew to me. “What? Why?”

  I gave her a crooked smirk. “Apparently I’m capable of smiling.”

  Amber licked her lip, but it was a nervous action. “Oh. Well, that’s good… I’m…” She cleared her throat as she looked at the floor. “Uh… I should–”

  “Is everything okay?”

  She looked at me like she thought I should know that, no, nothing was okay. Then she almost smiled as though everything was perfect. But then we were back to the wrinkled nose and biting lip of, no, nothing’s okay.

  Amber coughed as she pushed her glasses up her nose. “Look…about last night…”

  She paused like she expected me to say it was a mistake, like she didn’t want to be the one to say it. But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I didn’t think it was a mistake. I felt guilty as fuck about what Hawk would think, but it wasn’t a mistake.

  “I’m not going to be the one to say it was a mistake, Amber,” I said carefully.

  “You don’t think it was?” she asked.

  I shook my head slowly. “No.”

  I couldn’t tell if she elated or annoyed by that. Both emotions flickered over her face. “But Patrick?”

  I nodded and swallowed. “Yeah.” I raked a hand through my hair. “That… The situation’s not ideal, but that doesn’t make it…us a mistake.”

  I could see she wanted to believe me, but she was having trouble. And her eyes were imploring me to understand.

  “I don’t want to have to move out, Kit…” she said softly.

  I had to swallow again against the sudden heat in my throat. “What are you saying?”

  She sighed heavily. “I’m saying it can’t happen again. I… It’s not just Pat. Okay? I don’t want to mess up what we’ve built this last week. I mean, we’re friends now, aren’t we?”

  Now was decidedly not the time to tell her that I had no interest in being her friend. No, that wasn’t right. If she was going to insist that was all we could be, then I was going to do my best not to fuck it up. But I wanted more. I wanted everything. I wanted to be her friend, her lover, her confidant. If she didn’t want any of that though… Well, I’d live with it.

  So, I nodded. “We are.”

  “Right. And…and maybe that’s all we can ever be?”

  Amber wanted me to say she was right. She wanted my permission that that’s all we could be. I didn’t want to risk driving her away, but I wasn’t going to let her think the night before meant nothing to me.

  “If that’s what you want.”

  “You don’t want?”

  “I want us to be friends.”

  “Just friends?”

  “Amber, I’m not going to lie to you but I want you to know I don’t expect anything either…” I paused to make sure she understood what I was saying.

  She frowned but nodded. “Okay. No. I want you to be honest.”

  “Last night wasn’t a mistake for me. It never will be. Hawk can beat me black and blue, and I’d stand by our choice. But if you only want to be friends, then I accept that and that’s all we’ll be.”

  She pushed her glasses up again, then rung her hands in front of her. “I just…” She took a deep breath. “Pat means the world to me. You know how he’d react.”

  I did. I could handle it. We’d fall out for a while maybe, but I didn’t want her to suffer for it. Hawk had been deadly serious in his threat to the team. He was fiercely protective of his little sister and he knew all us too well to think we’d be any good for her. But I wanted to be good enough for her and I was going to prove I could be, even if we were only friends.

  “Yeah. He’d rip me a new one.”

  She nodded. “Exactly. And even if he didn’t, what happens when…?”

  She looked at me quickly, almost an apology, and I knew what she was thinking. She was thinking about what happened when her envisioned inevitable end of us occurred. If she wanted to be friends, telling her that I never wanted there to be an end was going to be incredibly unwelcome and, if I was honest, I wasn’t
sure I could promise her that just yet. My heart was convinced I’d want her forever, my head was a little more cynical.

  “You know?” she continued and I nodded. “I just think it’d be smart if we put last night down not as a mistake, but just something we can’t – shouldn’t – do again. For everyone. I’d hate to lose you, Kit. And I know Patrick would never forgive me if we fell out again.”

  I could only nod. She was, unfortunately, right. Sex was all well and good – the sex had been phenomenal, to be honest. The driving, base need to protect her was great. But if I couldn’t promise her anything then I had no right to possibly string us both along. We had too much history and too much potential future to do that to anyone involved. All of us deserved better.

  “You’re right.”

  Her relief was visible as she breathed out and relaxed. “Okay. Good. I was worried it would be weird.”

  I scoffed, putting on as much nonchalant bluster as I could muster. “Weird? No. It doesn’t have to be weird.”

  “Exactly. I mean, we’re both adults. Right?”

  “Right.”

  “Capable of adult conversations and handling things like…adults.”

  “Definitely.”

  “Okay. So, we’re agreed.”

  “We are. Friends.”

  “Friends.” She gave me a small smile and pointed behind her. “I should really go and study, though…”

  I nodded. “Sure. I’ll organise some dinner a bit later.”

  “That’d be great. Thanks.”

  She gave me another smile, then turned and walked over to the dining table. I told myself my heart wasn’t going with her.

  15

  Amber

  Holy freaking Jesus. I’d had sex. With Kit. I’d actually finally lost my virginity and it was to my older brother’s best friend.

  I wasn’t sure if I’d won the lottery or been cursed.

  When I woke up on Monday, he was gone. I was naked and spread-eagled in his bed, and alone. I’d woken and felt amazing. I’d worn a goofy smile as I rolled around in his bed and breathed in deeply, just relishing his scent totally enveloping me.