Beach Reads Box Set

by Madden-Mills, Ilsa

  “Okay?” My mother was a warrior, solely devoted to her love of family. I couldn’t imagine life without her support and as I looked at the lifeless house next to mine, I was saddened for Koti that she hadn’t experienced the same.

  “Mom…”

  “Yes?”

  “I just want you to know I love you. And I’m a lucky bastard to have you as a mother.”

  “Oh, God. You aren’t going to hurt yourself, are you?”

  “No, of course—”

  “Ian, don’t do this to me, to Ella. Don’t do anything rash. You have so much waiting for you here.”

  Though untimely because of her worry, I couldn’t help my laughter. “I obviously need to tell you these things more often. Of course, I’m not going to do anything like that.”

  “Promise me, Ian. If things get so bad you have those thoughts…”

  “That worry is unnecessary I assure you, but I promise. Take care of Dad and I’ll call you soon.”

  “Liar, you never phone.”

  “Once a week, that’s a new promise.”

  Her sarcasm leaked over the line. “I’ll believe that, sure.”

  “I’ll make you a believer.”

  “How are you and Koti getting along?”

  “Fine,” I said with a grimace. “We’ve been doing a lot of catching up.” Though wildly inappropriate while speaking with my mother, I couldn’t help to think of the look in her eyes when I had her clinging to me just a day before.

  “You know we saw her last year. The poor thing looked malnourished. She’s so beautiful though, don’t you think?”

  “I do,” I said as gravel filled my throat. “Very beautiful.”

  “Yes, a little bit dazzling.”

  “Dazzling…” I faltered as Koti walked out of her house and began to light her candles before reggae started drifting through her speakers.

  “She’s such a beautiful spirit. Maybe you could take her out sometime? From what your dad and I saw, she doesn’t venture out much.”

  “If you saw her, I think you would agree she’s come a long way since the last time you were here.”

  “That’s so good to know. So… do you think you two might be starting up more than a friendship?”

  “I’ve got to go, Mom.”

  “Oh, come on! I’m an old lady, tell me something good. She finds you attractive, doesn’t she?” she asked in a conspiratorial whisper. “Are you two flirting? Tell me anything.”

  “Ella made the honor roll.”

  “You are a right shit.”

  “You’re cursing a lot.” Much like the other woman in my life that I seemed to bring out the worst in.

  “It’s hot as hell here, it makes me crazy.”

  “Don’t get me started on Dad’s geographical choice to migrate.”

  “Adam was worth it. Did you know your brother is seeing a waitress at a bar called The Hooters?”

  I chuckled. “It’s just Hooters, Mom. No ‘The’ before it.”

  “He won’t let us meet her. We offered to go. I think your dad and I might pop in as a surprise.”

  “I’m pretty sure Dad will enjoy it.”

  “Really, do they serve good food?”

  “The best,” I said, smiling. Adam was about to be humiliated.

  “Right then, it’s settled.”

  “Let me know how it goes,” I said doing my best to conceal my smile.

  She was too sharp. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  “Nothing Mom, enjoy The Hooters.”

  “If you say so. I’m sure I will. Love you, son.”

  “Love you.”

  I hung up and made my way toward the house. Koti read in the safety of her hammock and didn’t bother to glance my way when I stepped up on my porch to let Disco out.

  She couldn’t avoid me forever, and at the same time, a few days apart might give us both perspective. We were only in danger of becoming closer.

  Thursday she would be forced to make conversation, to look at me, to talk to me.

  Thursday.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Koti

  Scrubbing my stove, I was nervous in a way I hadn’t been in years. Ian and I had barely looked at each other since my parents left. Well, I’d barely looked at him. I knew I was being a little childish. He told me he didn’t want to get involved and I understood it to a degree but being a friend with benefits required him to be a friend. I couldn’t help my anger at his decision to leave me hanging knowing my whole story. Pushing past it for the greater good, I decided to try and put my hurt aside to make the trip the best I could for Ian and his friends, even if I was irritated with him. Two sharp knocks at my door had me pulling my rubber gloves off. I opened it with a smile only to have the wind knocked out of me by the sight of him. Disco barked at my feet as Ian’s scowl and shitty greeting quickly erased all my good intentions.

  “They’re pulling up and you don’t have any clothes on!”

  “I live at the beach. These are my clothes.”

  “A bikini isn’t clothes. Get something else on, now.”

  “Hello to you too. I agree the house looks nice. I’ve been cleaning all day. You’re welcome.”

  “It’s appreciated

  “Could’ve fooled me.”

  “Koti,” he said in warning. “We don’t have time to argue.”

  “Then let’s not argue.”

  “Damnit, woman.”

  I eyed my waiting coverup dress on the couch and thought better of it.

  “Don’t bark orders at me, I’m doing you another favor.”

  The creak of the screen behind him put a stop to our argument.

  “S’up, fucker,” the guy at the door greeted as Ian turned to face him grinning from ear to ear.

  “How the hell are you doing, Kemp?”

  The man caught sight of me as they hugged and cleared his throat. “Sorry about the profanity, ma’am.” The man was tall, with shortly-cropped brown hair and gorgeous dark blue eyes. “I’m Julian Drake.”

  I smiled. “Koti.”

  “Ian, you didn’t tell us you had a new girl.”

  Ian glanced between us and I let him sweat a little before I spoke up. “We’re just friends. Ian’s parents own the house next door, but it’s rented at the moment, so you guys are shacking up here.”

  Julian did a full sweep over me with appreciative eyes before he looked back to Ian. “Did you go blind?”

  “Shut up,” Ian snapped. “Where are dumb and dumber?”

  “Getting their bags out of the car.”

  “I’ve got your dumb and dumber, dickhead,” a guy said, climbing the porch steps and looking back at the ocean. “Nice spot.” He grinned at Ian. “Ian Kemp, you ugly bastard.”

  “Doug, you piece of shit.” They clapped backs and he grinned wider as he looked over at me. “Damn, I see things are good for you, Kemp.”

  “I’m Koti,” I offered as he kissed my hand.

  “I’m Doug and you must be his new lady.”

  I shook my head adamantly. “Nah, Ian’s more of a big brother to me.”

  Ian cleared his throat, gray laser beams directed at me until he was struck by a duffle in the back and let out a loud “oomph.”

  “What the hell, Drew,” Ian grunted out, as he turned to face his attacker.

  “You poor bastard, you just keep getting uglier,” he said, as Drew hugged Ian before eyeing me. “God, please tell me she’s my birthday present.”

  Ian cringed as I spoke up on my own behalf. “Sorry pal, I’m more of a Navy guy kind of girl.”

  All four of them looked at me with matching scowls before Drew spoke up with a shit-eating grin. “Beautiful and a ballbuster. I’m in love.”

  Ian smacked him playfully in the back of the head. “I see you haven’t grown much. I’m assuming it’s the same sad case for your dick.”

  I bit my lips to hide my smile. All four men spoke animatedly as beers were passed from the fridge and I sat on a stool with my wine i
n hand, the odd girl out. After half an hour of feeling like a fifth wheel, I decided if I was going to make it through the weekend, I would need backup.

  * * *

  “I could kick your ass for giving me a last-minute invite,” Jasmine said under her breath as she walked up the porch steps. “A house full of Marines? And you were going to keep this from moi?”

  “Hell yes, I was,” I said, grabbing her bag. “Try to behave yourself.”

  “Oh, well yeah, that’s impossible.”

  She stepped into the room where four gorgeous men sat around my kitchen island shooting the shit.

  “Jesus. Okay, let me pick out Ian. Oh God, he’s not handsome, he’s Bradley-fucking-Cooper hot. What the hell have you been hiding from me?! I’m decreasing your pay.”

  “You can’t legally do that.”

  “You’re a real asshole. God, Koti, he’s so beautiful.”

  I sighed. “I know.” A beautiful self-absorbed asshole.

  “Who’s the tall one with the blue eyes?”

  “Julian.”

  “Dibs.”

  “There’s no one else here to call it.”

  “Dibs anyway,” she said retrieving a bottle of tequila. “Hey fellas, the party has officially started.” All four men turned to see Jasmine in her Salma Hayek getup and all jaws dropped, including the jaw of the bastard I was sleeping with. I narrowed my eyes as he cleared his throat.

  Two of the guys whistled as Ian searched for shot glasses. I moved to the kitchen to help him.

  “In here,” I said as he stood behind me and grabbed the glasses from the cabinet I couldn’t reach. He pressed into me and I smelled a hint of his cologne and damn near fell into his frame.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

  “You seem to have the need to say that a lot.”

  I stood encased in his arms, his smell unavoidable, my body coming alive with every brush of his chest.

  “I’m dying to touch you, but I’m afraid you’ll slap me.”

  “I should.”

  “Don’t complicate this, Koti. Please.”

  “Oh, you’ve made yourself clear.” I pushed at his arm and he kept me trapped as he leaned down and whispered. “I’m just asking for you to understand.”

  “I understand just fine. But you’re the one who blurred the line. A friend would have been the first to show up for me for that shit show. But don’t worry, I have one of those and she’s enough. I don’t need you to go thinking I need you.”

  “Then why are you so pissed off?”

  I turned in his arms as he kept me locked in place. “It’s simple. You’re a prick and you don’t deserve my friendship or the benefits.”

  “Fine,” he said taking the glasses from the counter. “Is this typical of you? You can’t accept an apology and just move on. And you claim to be a grown-up.”

  “I’m seconds away from kneeing your crotch, crocky. Trust me, you don’t want to meet the pissed off New Yorker.”

  Ian’s eyes went cold and he stepped away. Everyone seemed oblivious to our exchange, except for Jasmine and Julian who watched us quietly and then scattered back into conversation as soon as we joined the rest of them. I poured everyone shots as Ian took out a few trays of food he’d bought from the deli earlier that day. He hadn’t bothered to show up at my house until he saw the taxi drop the guys off. He’d avoided me all week and with each day I grew more resentful of the fact that he wanted it that way.

  * * *

  Hours later, all four guys and Jasmine sat at my kitchen table with cigars and played poker. Jasmine was holding her own, thumping a cigar in the air and taking man-sized tugs as her and Julian eye fucked. Ian glanced at me every so often as I kept busy cleaning and airing out the house of the pungent smell. I felt like an old lady, drinking my wine off in the corner as everyone laughed and took shots. I had piped in here and there, but it was Jasmine who remained the life of the party. I was happy to give her that title as my spine prickled with nervous energy.

  Not tonight. Come on, not tonight.

  I kept busy, drinking a little more wine than I should as the music got louder and the voices more animated.

  “Guys!” Jasmine shouted. “Listen!”

  The guys looked between each other, a few leaning in.

  After a few seconds, she harrumphed. “It’s “Roxanne””

  The Police were playing the well-known song as she nudged Julian’s shoulder. “Let’s play the game.” She looked over at me with a ‘please’ on her face. “Koti! Will you get us some fresh beers?”

  “I’ll get them,” Ian offered, ashing his cigar in the tray and glancing my way. I kept my eyes on his and didn’t let them stray until Jasmine squealed. “Hurry!”

  Ian brought the beers back and passed them out and Julian spoke up. “Okay, so how does it go?”

  “Easy,” Jasmine said, pouring more Patron into shot glasses. “Every time he sings Roxanne, you have to take a drink.”

  The guys all grinned at her, amused, and she rolled her eyes. “Yes, the rules are that simple. You G.I. Joes won’t be so smug when you realize how hard it is to keep up. Now, get ready. And don’t stop tilting those beers until he stops.”

  She lifted a shot and as soon as Sting got to the chorus, all the beers were tipped, except for Ian’s. He was glaring at me openly now, his eyes focused on my hand fidgeting with my necklace. I broke out in a mild sweat, as they all downed their beers.

  “We need more, Koti? Please,” Jasmine said, trapped behind the table with Marines on either side of her. I nodded and quickly did her bidding before the next chorus. They all kept up with the song, downing four beers each, along with the free-flowing shots Jasmine poured. When a new hand was dealt, Ian excused himself, sprang from his seat and stalked toward me.

  “Stop with the grudge, Koti. I said I was sorry.”

  “Okay,” I said with a shrug. “You’re sorry. It’s fine. I’m not saying anything.”

  “No, you’ve just been standing alone in the facking kitchen all night.”

  “I’m taking care of your company.”

  “No one asked you to.”

  “Well, this is my house and I’m hosting. It’s fine. We’re good. Just go enjoy yourself.”

  “Fine, Eish! I’m so over this,” he hissed taking his seat and giving me one last eye full of ‘you’re the asshole’ before he turned his attention back to his friends. An hour later, I was scrubbing my countertops in an attempt to drown out the noise when the familiar pang hit me.

  “Come on, not now,” I begged as one of the guys—I think it was Drew—yelled out a loud bark and the music was turned up. Jumping out of my skin, I took long breaths. “It’s just a party. Jesus, Koti, calm down.”

  But I couldn’t as my chest began rising and falling rapidly. The blood drained from my face as I rushed out of the house without trying to direct any attention my way.

  Yards away from the house I sat on the cool sand, closed my eyes, and began to count.

  One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

  “Koti?”

  “Not now, okay. Please just leave me alone.”

  “Jesus, it was a dick move. I’ve apologized. I don’t know what else to say!”

  One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

  “Koti, damnit,” he barked moving to squat in front of me. “Look at me.”

  One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

  “Ian, I’m having a moment, okay. Please, please leave me alone.”

  Air burst out of me as I began hyperventilating.

  One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

  I breathed in sync with the sound of the waves and barely heard Ian’s pleas to try to help.

  “Tell me what to do. Can you tell me how to help?”

  I concentrated on my breathing and was only faintly aware when he sat next to me.

  One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

  In.

  Out.

  In.

 
Out.

  In.

  Out.

  The music stirred me back to life as all the energy drained from me. I concentrated on my breathing again until all I could hear were the waves. After a few moments, Ian spoke up.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “What triggered it? The noise? Fighting with me?”

  “Yes, that or the fact that I’ve been on edge all week because of the fight with my parents. Or high tide. Ian, it could be anything,” I said as my body began to shut down and my limbs felt like lead attached to me.

  “So, you’re okay now?”

  “Yep.”

  “That was a good one?”

  I laughed ironically. “If there is such a thing, yes, that was a smaller one.”

  His voice was stone. “Okay.”

  He stood and made his way toward the house.

  “What’s pissed you off now, Kemp?”

  “Nothing, I’ll get the party outside. I’ll build a fire.”

  “Fine.”

  “Fine. Well, that seems to be the word for the day.”

  “It’s a good word,” I smarted toward his back. He turned on me so quickly I stumbled in the sand.

  “I didn’t want this! I spent fifteen fucking years catering to another woman’s happiness and most of it was miserable. Just for once I wanted to think about me! And only me! But no, I’ve spent a majority of my night with my best bra’s worrying about you, and how you feel, and if you’re angry. If I’ve said the wrong thing or if you’ll ever speak to me again!”

  My eyes bulged. “You do hear what you’re saying, right?”

  “I know how selfish it sounds and that’s the point!”

  I swallowed as he took angry strides toward me. “You just couldn’t take an apology, so we could move past it. No! Instead, you make me feel terrible for existing. I can’t win! I didn’t want this! I don’t want to care about your feelings more than my own. I don’t want to be responsible for your moods. I just wanted some damned freedom!”

  “Whoa,” I said, my head spinning with his wrath. Incredulous, I shook my head.

  Three points to a good argument, Koti!