He's My Associate

by Cay Harrington

  The waterfront was the same as it had been when he was a kid. He’d spent every summer here until he went to college. When his parents had finally bought the property to retire to properly, he remembered feeling happy about it. Now it just left him feeling strange and sad. Nostalgic for something that he’d come to realize was never really his.

  “You still listen to headbanger music.”

  Joseph huffed. “I suppose so.”

  Cooper blinked out into the water as they parked. Joseph smoothed his hands over the steering wheel, running one over the dash.

  “I’ve had this car since you were eight,” he said. “Always took good care of it. Always kept it shining. Always made sure the engine was in order.”

  “You spent more time on this car than me. Or Malcolm.” Then, “Cat too, right?”

  “Your mother and I almost divorced when you were nine.”

  Cooper didn’t know that.

  “What?”

  “It was my drinking.”

  “It’s always your drinking.”

  “She was pregnant.”

  Oh.

  “I stopped for a few years. But it always started up again. It’s hard to quit something you love. I love your mother, more than anything. More than you kids.” Cooper shook his head, already knowing that. “That’s what I told myself.”

  “Hm, I’d still wager that part’s true.”

  Joseph blinked. “No. It was for a long time. I was a foolish man. I’ve been a foolish man. The last year has been hard.”

  “Harder for you than me.”

  Joseph stared into his lap. “Your mother and I separated not long after you left. I’ve been going to meetings, I’ve been doing my part in finally getting my shit together.”

  Cooper wanted to leave. Wanted to open Joseph’s door and push him out and drive off with his car. Ryan had mused he was too old to steal his dad’s car. Maybe he could prove him wrong.

  “I realized the second you were out of my sight, you are the single most important part of my life as a father. As a man. You and Malcolm are my reason for living, son. I’m sorry.”

  No one should be your reason for living, Cooper thought. I shouldn’t matter more than my brother. Mom should have left you before Malcolm was born, he thought, at least then he would have been spared all this.

  He took a deep breath.

  I don’t have to do this, he told himself.

  Cooper opened door and got out.

  And he walked away.

  Joseph didn’t follow.

  Cooper walked for a long while before finally finding a spot tucked behind some trees. He was hidden from the path but close enough to the water he could still tell where Joseph’s car was on the other side of the marsh.

  He had a good cry and then wiped his eyes, his nose on his shirt.

  He brought out his phone and called Ryan. Got his voicemail.

  “Hey. I’m sorry about this morning. And yesterday. It was a mistake, all of it. I wasn’t thinking. I got caught up in our lie. We can go back to before. Back to the city and our work, and pretend however long you need to get the firm in your name. I won’t abandon you with that. I don’t care anymore if I get my office or not. No, wait, I’m fucking lying. I want that office, Ryan. Don’t you dare screw me over because a couple of makeouts. I just don’t want you ignoring me, or whatever it was you were starting to do. I just thought there was—Yeah. Anyway. Sorry.”

  He hung up before the beep sounded. Then he called back, wanting to tell him sorry in advance for whatever Malcolm and May were putting him through.

  But Ryan picked up.

  “Must be an emergency if you’re calling me twice in a row,” he said, sounding breathless. “Don’t tell me you ate all the leftover stuffing. I will not let you back on the plane with me.”

  Cooper couldn’t help laughing, and he worried how watery it sounded. He sniffed and Ryan hummed. His heart rate picked up. “Oh uh. Ignore that voicemail then. Just delete it. And no I didn’t eat the stuffing.”

  “No chance. And good.” Ryan spoke away from the phone, something loud that Cooper couldn’t make out. He heard revving engines in the background. Then, “So, listen.”

  “Where are you?”

  “Mudding?”

  “God. Is Malcolm trying to drown you?”

  “No, but I think May has tried twice already. I’ll have to get back to you on that.” There was a splash and swearing. “You’re not going to be happy with the state of your shirt.”

  Cooper smiled down at the grass beneath his boots. “You’re covered, aren’t you?”

  “This is a barbaric event and I love it.”

  “Good thing you didn’t wear your suit,” Cooper said.

  “I felt like carrying a piece of you with me today is all.”

  He swallowed, listened to Ryan’s quick stuttering as he thought of how to cover that particular tidbit of information up.

  “Ryan,” Cooper said, soothing. “It’s okay.”

  Ryan hummed again. Cooper enjoyed the sound. Every time he enjoyed it. He was wrecked.

  “Listen, Cooper.” He cleared his throat. “There’s something you need to know. Before Malcolm and May spring it on you.”

  “What is it?”

  “Just,” Ryan said. “You know how when I bring you to court and I request you be agreeable with me and only me? No matter what?”

  “It’s how we win cases.”

  “Yes, exactly. You remember.” He said it like Cooper hadn’t been discussing court strategies with him just a week before, for the O’Brien v. Carlson case. “I need you to do exactly that when we get back.”

  Cooper scratched at his beard.

  “Alright. In return, you have to delete that voicemail.”

  Ryan hummed again and Cooper could hear the wicked smile in his voice. “Of course, lover.”

  The line beeped and went dead. Cooper shook his head and rose to find the nearest bus.

  He got back to the house at the same time Ryan did. Joseph wasn’t back yet.

  And Cooper knew the second Ryan climbed out of Malcolm’s mud-caked SUV and locked eyes with him that he’d listened to the voicemail.

  Cooper couldn’t read Ryan’s expression from so far away.

  Cooper had his key half in the lock, stock still as he watched the three of them, all equally covered in mud and dirt, come up the walkway. May had her lip bitten while Malcolm shoved at Ryan, pushing him forward toward Cooper.

  “Congratulations you two,” May said, and laughed.

  “Huh?”

  Joseph’s Mustang announced its arrival before they saw it, pulling finally into the same weathered spot in the driveway. He climbed out and eyed the bubbling energy unfolding in front of the door.

  Cooper wiggled his key free and Ryan took his arm. Cat’s face popped through the window, looking perplexed before opening the door to let them all in.

  “Cooper—” Ryan said, and to Cooper’s complete and absolute horror, started descending on one knee.

  He snatched Ryan’s arm and braced him. Kept him from sinking all the way down. They stayed there, Ryan effectively holding a lunge as he made a face up at Cooper that he knew very well.

  “You got my message,” Cooper didn’t ask.

  “I did.”

  “So you know this isn’t necessary,” Cooper said, trying to tug Ryan back up with no success. “At all.”

  “And you remember what I told you, yes?” Ryan said through a tight smile. “You should, since you remember all the trials I’ve brought you in on.”

  Cooper dug his fingers into Ryan’s arms and tried with everything he had to say this is a mistake while Ryan’s narrowed eyes warned back at him don’t tempt me.

  So Cooper knelt instead.

  Cooper grinned, brighter than Ryan could ever hope to match. Ryan’s own smile faltered and fell away into pure shock.

  Ryan mouthed the words, you motherfuc—

  “Ryan,” Cooper began. “I know we were planni
ng on doing this during the trip to Alaska. But.” He shifted his hold to Ryan’s hands. Ryan was forced to fully fall to a knee, a reflection of each other.

  “Oh wow,” Cat whispered, enraptured.

  “Since I won’t have you beating me at my own game—”

  “Not for long, Cooper,” Ryan warned pleasantly.

  “Will you marry me?”

  Ryan’s left eye twitched, his pupils going wide despite the annoyance, the hatred Cooper knew he had to be holding back. He didn’t know what it meant.

  Ryan squeezed his hands.

  “I could scream,” was all Ryan said, as Cat, May and Malcolm did just that, celebrating with each other as they swarmed the two of them. Joseph remained off to the side.

  Cooper pulled him forward and Ryan went willingly, falling into his arms.

  “My sentiments exactly,” Cooper whispered as Ryan kissed and kissed and kissed him.

  Cooper felt Ryan pinch his arm for his trouble.

  And then Ryan clung to him, almost too tight.

  Cooper could have sworn he heard a thank you beside his ear when Ryan pulled away to hug him.

  It’s just a game, he reminded himself.

  Ryan squeezed tighter. Cooper could feel his heart racing where their chests lined up. Ryan’s big green eyes shined.

  Or was it a game at all?

  5

  The plane ride back to the city was long and silent. An undeniable charge hung in the air between the two of them the entire way back and Cooper wasn’t surprised when he ended up buried under Ryan’s luggage when they landed. Ryan stepped quickly, refusing Cooper any time to really ask him any questions.

  Mostly he just wanted to know what Ryan thought of the voicemail. And if Cooper still had his job.

  Ryan stuck his earphones in again once they were out in front of the airport.

  “Ryan?”

  Nothing.

  “Ryan?” Cooper repeated, a little louder.

  Ryan blinked and turned slightly away from him, but Cooper knew he’d heard him.

  “You don’t even have your music on, do you?”

  Ryan’s lips twitched, a rare dimple showing. Cooper groaned.

  “We’ll need to talk about it eventually.”

  Ryan nodded. “I agree. Which is why we’re going to my place right now. We’re having an early dinner where we can talk and plan out what will happen from this point on. Then we’ll put this horror of a holiday behind us so we can have at least one day of this weekend to ourselves before work on Monday.”

  “I’m not fired?”

  Ryan did look at Cooper then, nearly rueful. “Don’t be stupid, Cooper. It’s unattractive.”

  Cooper nodded, the luggage he was struggling with feeling lighter than before. Soon enough Ryan waved down their taxi and they climbed in.

  Ryan lived in an unexpected part of town.

  And he’d begun to fidget. His fingers tripped over themselves as he jammed his key into the lock, hardly held on by three bolts—one missing—from the looks of it. Ryan angled his body in front of the door and didn’t so much as shove it open as ram into it to gain some ground. Once it was past the threshold it was smooth sailing into a too-narrow hall with a green runner on top of the linoleum.

  No carpet; just cement, linoleum, and in the case of the kitchen some half-finished tile with dark edges that must have called for band-aids for stubbed toes more than once. Besides the runner in the entry, there was no carpet Cooper could see. That meant cold floors in the summer and freezing floors during every other season. Cooper frowned at the idea.

  “I can fix your door.”

  “Huh?” Ryan blinked back at him. He shrugged off his suit jacket and folded it neatly over a chair before fiddling with his phone. He pursed his lips when he found what he wanted and then he was calling for Chinese takeout.

  “I have some extra bolts,” Cooper explained when Ryan was finished placing an order for what seemed like far too much food for just two people. “I can fix your doorknob. You shouldn’t be sleeping with it falling off like that.”

  Ryan shrugged. “If you’d like.”

  “And what’s with your kitchen? Are you renovating?” he asked, concerned in spite of himself. He shouldn’t be worrying about Ryan. Ryan wasn’t his to worry about. And he still wasn’t sure where they stood after this morning.

  “I rent, so not me,” Ryan dismissed. “It was like that when I moved in.”

  Cooper dropped their luggage in the hall to a chorus of frustrated groans from Ryan as he set to righting his things. Cooper went to the worst of the tile and crouched, running his fingers over the exposed edges.

  “How long ago was that?”

  Ryan hummed. “Nine years?”

  Cooper stood so fast he almost hit his head on the counter. “Are you joking, Ryan?”

  “Do I look like I joke?” At Cooper’s unwavering stare, he sighed. “I know I live in a shit hole. It’s not a big deal. Come on, get out of there. I didn’t bring you here to pick my life apart.”

  Cooper ignored him. He opened every cupboard and drawer. Found missing nails, loose baseboards, and shaky wheels. When he got to the tap, the wobbly faucet squeaked, and the water only came after a banging shudder rocketed through the wall.

  “Ryan,” Cooper called, unable to keep the warning tone from his voice.

  Ryan’s huff reached him from the living room. “Stop.”

  “Unbelievable,” Cooper muttered to himself. He got low on his knees and aimed his phone’s flashlight at the piping under the sink. He couldn’t hold back the gasp when he saw the large crawling spot of black in the corner.

  Green eyes trailed him as he made his way down the only turn in the flat. A short hall with two doors. He checked the bathroom over next and found many of the same issues, but thankfully no mold.

  Cooper stopped in front of Ryan’s bedroom. There was a bed and a bookshelf packed to spilling over but other than that not much. Too clean. Too minimal. No pictures. There was a plant on the nightstand, well cared for and the most colorful thing in the flat.

  Ryan snapped his fingers when he came back out.

  “You’re going to stop whatever mission you’re on and sit down,” Ryan commanded, to Cooper’s amusement. “Food’ll be here soon, and we can get this over with.”

  Cooper went reluctantly. He sunk low in the couch beside his boss, who sat with his knees bent, his phone in their crux. Cooper met his eyes and shrugged, tried not to stare at the way Ryan had kicked off his shoes and had his bare heels dug into the couch cushion.

  “You’ve got mold, Ryan.”

  “Maybe you can scrub that away after you screw my knob,” Ryan suggested with a quirk of his brow before going back to his phone. A flush rose to his cheeks but he didn’t look back up. “You know what I mean.”

  When their food arrived, Ryan nudged Cooper with his foot to go get the door. He jerked, having dozed in the twenty minutes of quiet between sitting down and now, and grabbed Ryan’s ankle on impulse. He squeezed, tried to calm his racing heart, and rose to go to the door.

  Ryan watched him go.

  Cooper accepted what looked like eight bags of food. When he tried to tip the guy, he refused, saying what was paid was more than enough. Cooper raised a brow and went to deposit Ryan’s apparent feast on the living room table. Ryan sat up to help, to Cooper’s surprise, grabbing plastic forks and organizing the containers in a pattern.

  He ripped open a fortune cookie and read, “What was once in the sun and seems submerged in black, will again return to the light.”

  “That’s ominous.”

  Ryan shrugged. He picked a container and started in, keeping his eyes on his food. “The place I order from prints their own. Always good for a laugh.”

  “I guess.” Cooper chose what looked like pepper chicken.

  They ate in silence. Cooper wasn’t sure how best to broach the topic of their last day and a half together, the fact they were now in Ryan’s apartment eating, or the fu
ture engagement they’d have to lie about. It seemed easier to fake dating, but now that May knew, it would get around work. It would get back to Gloria. It would hang over them, haunting their every step.

  “Lighten up, Cooper.” Ryan was watching him. “You get too serious for your own good.”

  “Do I? I like to think I liven up the office following around after you and cleaning up your—”

  Ryan narrowed his eyes. “My what?”

  “Your,” Cooper started. “Your mess.”

  “My mess, while it may be your concern, is something the others expect. It’s what I do. It’s how I run things.”

  “By screaming at them? Or locking people out of their own offices?”

  “If security is on their way to escort them out, then yes,” Ryan said, like it was the simplest thing, needing no explanation.

  “They’re afraid of you.”

  Ryan’s mouth opened and shut at that. His lips twisted, forming funny shapes before he settled on resuming his eating.

  “Isn’t everyone afraid of their bosses?” Ryan finally asked him.

  A sharp sound burst the air.

  A choir of dogs ascended, barking and howling. The air seemed heavy. Cooper’s heart was pounding.

  “Was that a gunshot?”

  “Neighbor’s are at it again,” Ryan said, rolling his eyes. He kept eating. “Don’t bother yourself, they’re fine.”

  When he just sat there, fork dangling limp from his hand, Ryan took his chicken and replaced it with noodles.

  “Eat,” he ordered.

  Cooper did.

  “You’re wondering why I live here? With my salary?” Ryan asked him, unable to keep the silence for more than a few minutes. Cooper was glad for it.

  “You and your fourteen suits, and your house plant?” Ryan huffed. Cooper went on, “I always pictured your place having glass walls, priceless paintings. Maybe a jet-black marble kitchen. You know, the stuff you see on those real estate shows.”

  Ryan hummed. “Paul’s will. I have five years after his death to be in a serious relationship with the express goal of providing offspring to inherit his legal kingdom. It’s meant to keep the business, and the money, in the family.”