Detours and Dead Ends

by Janine Infante Bosco

  “Don’t do that shit,” I order. “Don’t be my old man.”

  Pausing, I take a deep breath and try to put myself in his shoes. I imagine I’d feel just as terrified, but I think I would want someone, mainly him, I’d want him to make me understand it wasn’t about me anymore. I think if you’re lucky enough to create a child, then you need to own that blessing. Take the fucking detour and relish in the joy a kid brings to your life. There’s got to be more to life than robbing a bunch of drugs and dropping bodies. This is his chance to find that. It’ll be hard, and he’ll make mistakes, but I’ll always be there for him like he’s been there for me.

  Alright, so maybe I like the idea of being an uncle too.

  Shaking my head, I stare at him intently.

  Take the detour.

  “You got a kid coming, man. That’s huge. That’s bigger than you, bigger than your girl, bigger than anything you’ve ever known. I know the club is everything to you right now, and you worked real hard for your patch but this, you becoming someone’s father? It’s bigger than the club,” I pause, leveling him with a look. “Own that shit,” I say hoarsely, patting him on the back. “You’ll figure the rest of this shit out as it comes to you but get on board brother because once that train leaves the station you will be sorry you missed it.”

  I watch him mull over my words and decide he needs time to absorb everything. I have faith he will figure it out and I’ll make sure I help him any way I can, whether it’s to lend an ear or slap him silly. Grabbing my cut, I start for the door.

  “Where are you going?” he questions.

  While Riggs might be at the crossroads of his life, I’m still muddling through shit. Duty calls and all that shit.

  “The morgue.”

  “What?”

  “Jack’s brother needs to be buried. I’m meeting the funeral director and setting it up for him. One last thing he needs to worry about.”

  “Any word on Blackie?”

  “No change,” I tell him. “You heading over there?”

  “Yeah, after I go buy a fucking refrigerator.”

  “You’re buying a refrigerator?” I ask, lifting an eyebrow.

  “Yeah, and your ass is hauling it with me to my apartment,” he retorts.

  “I don’t work for free, brother. It will cost you,” I say, laughing as I step outside the door. I might be a good friend and all but, I’m a natural born ball buster too and I pop my head back in the doorway, grinning at my best friend. “Oh, I forgot to tell you, Bianci’s downstairs waiting for you,”

  “The brother not the mother, right?”

  I almost forgot Maria Bianci smacked him in the head with a frying pan.

  God, this was going to be fun to watch.

  “Bones,” he calls as I stride down the hallway. Stopping midway, I turn my head and shout over my shoulder.

  “Man the fuck up, Riggs.”

  You’re going to be a dad.

  And, I’m going to be the best fucking uncle a kid ever had.

  Thirteen

  Riggs was really stepping up, trying to do the right thing. He set Lauren up in an apartment and only missed on doctor’s appointment. In his defense, Blackie had woken up from his coma the same day they were scheduled to see Pea—that’s what they were calling the baby—and it threw him off.

  As the weeks went on, Riggs spent more and more time at the apartment and less time at the clubhouse. The refrigerator I helped him haul up the stairs was collecting sonogram photos, and the baby was progressing. So was Riggs and Lauren’s relationship. I think the only two people who didn’t know they were in love was them.

  It was great to see Riggs evolve into his role and own his responsibilities and so when he went off the grid I didn’t worry. At least, not for a while. It wasn’t like him not to answer his phone or return my calls even if he was with Lauren, so I decided to stop by the apartment to make sure everything was okay.

  To my surprise, Riggs wasn’t there, and I got my first dose of hormonal Lauren. Let me tell you, if there was ever a woman on this earth that could get under Riggs’ skin, it was definitely his kitten. As I tried to calm her down and assure her that everything was okay, that Riggs was probably on a run and lost his phone, I got a call from her brother.

  I quickly learned the Bianci’s were not to fucked with.

  They needed to know everything and fiercely protected those they cared about.

  I also discovered, Lauren was head over heels for Riggs and that was fucking nice to find out. For so long I was the only one in his corner. Even before he moved to New York, and I was just the house keeper’s son. Now, I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t the only one who gave a damn about Riggs or had his best interests at heart. Lauren was right there with me and her brother wasn’t that far behind us either.

  Unfortunately, I was wrong. Riggs didn’t lose his phone and he sure as fuck wasn’t riding the wind. Sun Wu found out that we were the ones behind the drug heist and kidnapped him. They fucking stripped him naked and shaved his head, making it clear we only had a couple of days to replace the drugs or pay back the money he lost.

  There was no way we could come up with that kind of money or obtain such a high quantity of drugs. Without a detour in sight, we were fucked once again. We were able to retrieve Riggs, and he went back to Lauren, but we still needed a plan against Sun Wu. At the final hour, Riggs came up with the idea to dip into his trust fund to repay the Chinese. Jack and the rest of the club weren’t too thrilled but what other choice did we have. They would’ve retaliated against us and killed Riggs since he was the one they claimed they had on camera, stealing the blow and taking off his mask.

  Now, the money has been transferred and Riggs is questioning himself again. I fear I won’t be able to get through to him that he’s going to make a mistake and think he’s unworthy of the life he’s building with Lauren and Pea.

  Lighting a joint, I stare out into the darkness surrounding the compound. If anyone knows what it feels like to be unworthy, it’s me and admittedly, I’ve let it get the best of me. I’ve let myself lose time and time again when I could’ve proved my worth to the people I cared about. It’s a lonely way of life and I won’t let my brother go down that path too.

  A pair of headlights shine as a car enters the gates and I jump off the picnic table, bracing myself against the intruder. Lauren steps out of the passenger seat of the car and stalks towards the clubhouse like a woman hungry for blood.

  “Lauren, what’s the matter?” I question, staring at her tear-stained face before glancing over her head, at her brother.

  “Out of my way, Bones,” she orders.

  “Let her go, man,” Anthony says, shaking his head.

  Warily, I stare at the both of them, trying to understand what’s got her so riled up and I step aside. Lauren charges inside the clubhouse and I immediately follow. As she scans the room, the chapel doors open, and Blackie stumbles out of the room buttoning his pants.

  Lifting his bloodshot eyes to Lauren, he curses.

  “Where is he?” Lauren demands just as two butt naked girls step out of the room.

  A glass shatters from the other end of the room causing us all to turn around and stare at Riggs shocked expression. Dread churns in my gut as my eyes flit to Lauren.

  “Kitten,” Riggs calls

  Lauren loses control and stalks towards the pool table, grabbing a stick and swinging it over her head as she charges towards the two whores.

  “Get the fuck out of here,” she shouts. “GET OUT!”

  “Riggs, get a handle on your woman,” Blackie slurs.

  “Fuck you,” Lauren hisses, glaring at Riggs. “I’m not his woman. Isn’t that right?” Slicing my eyes to Riggs, I wait for him to tell her she’s wrong.

  “Put the pool stick down, Lauren,” Riggs reasons as he turns his attention to Anthony. “What the fuck is this, huh?”

  “I’m right here!” she yells, throwing the pool stick onto the floor. “Stop looking at Anthony and s
tart fucking looking at me.”

  Shoving his hands in his pockets, he glances around the room.

  “Give us a minute.”

  “I’m not leaving her,” Anthony says.

  Neither am I.

  Not when this idiot is on the verge of making the biggest mistake of his fucking life.

  “I said give me a fucking minute, Bianci,” Riggs growls.

  “You sent my brother to our apartment to give me the kiss off?”

  “It’s best if you stay with him. I’d tell you to stay at the apartment, but someone needs to protect you and it would just be easier if you were with him,” Riggs explains.

  “You are supposed to protect me, not Anthony. YOU.”

  “Look, it’s too much,” Riggs hollers. “It’s just too much. I never wanted any of this shit, Lauren! I went from being a guy whose biggest worry was his fucking bike or which broad he would screw for the night to having an old lady and a kid on the way. Like you had a fucking plan, so did I, and it didn’t include a family! I never wanted any of this and now I’m stuck with it. My life isn’t set up for you and a baby, Lauren.”

  What a fucking dick.

  Clenching my fists, it takes every ounce of self-control not to lay him out as he points to the reaper on the wall.

  “That, that right there is my life,” he declares, tipping his head toward Lauren. “Not this. I don’t know how to do this, and I never really wanted to.”

  Bile rises in my throat as he says the words and I realize, this is all my fault. I’m the one who introduced him to this life. If it wasn’t for me, the guy wouldn’t have a fucking price tag on his head and he wouldn’t be freaking the fuck out.

  “You’re lying,” Lauren argues

  Ah, shit, don’t cry, Lauren. You know I’m right,” Riggs mutters, roughly running his fingers through his hair., “You know it’s the truth.”

  “You people pride yourselves on being these badass men. You, call yourself a Satan’s Knight, a goddamn soldier of the devil, but all you are is a fucking coward with no backbone. You preach about loyalty and honor for your club, but you don’t know the first thing about what either of those two things means. Loyalty is about support, a strong devotion to something or someone. It’s a pity your loyalty doesn’t rest with your child.”

  “Lauren,” Riggs interrupts.

  “No, I’m not done. Honor? Honor is having great respect for someone and that honor should be with me. I am the one giving you a son or a daughter,” she sneers, pointing to the reaper on the wall. “He won’t give you a family. I know you think he already has, that these men are your brothers, and that’s all that matters but your brotherhood won’t keep you warm at night. Your brotherhood won’t give you the joy you’ll be missing out on by throwing your child away. So, fuck you, Riggs. Fuck your club and seriously fuck your patch.”

  “Shut up,” he barks. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, Lauren. You have no idea how fucking loyal and honorable I am. And that’s okay, you don’t need to. You just need to stay away from me.”

  “I can’t even say I’m sorry I ever met you because without you there is no Pea. I will always have Pea. So, thank you for that. Thank you for giving me something you’ll never enjoy. You’re the one who loses. You’re the one who has to live every day knowing you walked away from something great, something bigger and better and more rewarding than some pathetic patch.”

  The room goes completely silent as she walks towards the bar and grabs a bottle, smashing it against the mural on the wall.

  “Hope it was worth it,” she says, dropping what’s left of the bottle to the ground before her and her brother walk out of the clubhouse. When the door slams shut, Riggs walks over to the reaper, his boots crunching down on the broken glass and starts to pummel the brick with his fists.

  Blackie reaches him before I can, pulling him back.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” Blackie hollers, spinning Riggs around and throwing his back against the wall.

  “Let me go,” he sneers.

  Taking advantage of Blackie’s strong hold on him, I step behind him and lay the truth bare.

  “Like you let her go? What is wrong with you, man?” I question.

  Pushing Blackie off him, he comes at me. Not relenting, I continue on my crusade, trying to get through to him.

  “You’re an asshole, you know that? You just threw away the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to you and for what? Because you’re a pussy!”

  Charging forward, he rears his fists, and it connects with my jaw before I reach for his cut and slam him against the wall.

  Never have I put my hands on him.

  Not once in two decades.

  Now, I pound my fists against his ribs, partly for the mistake he’s making and partly for the ones I made that I can’t undo.

  “Truth hurts, brother,” I growl as he pushes me back and sends another shot to my face, hitting my nose.

  “Thought you’d be happy, me out of the way you’re free to claim her for yourself. That’s what you want, isn’t it? Been dying to stick your dick in my girl since the moment you laid eyes on her,” he roars, throwing me against the pool table.

  Kicking off the table, I bend my head and charge for his stomach, taking him down to the floor.

  He kicked off the table, charging his head into my stomach and pummeled me to the floor.

  “Someone will claim her, douche bag,” I clip “Girls like that will bounce back, move on and fall in love. Some other man will gladly grab what you threw away, only he’ll hang on tight, and that kid of yours? He’ll call someone else daddy.”

  Everything I say, aside from the daddy business, are thoughts I’ve had myself. It’s a horrible living every day of your life knowing you threw away something great, something another man gets to enjoy because you were too much of a coward.

  “Looks like you’re applying for the job,” he sneers.

  “I would in a fucking heartbeat but you’re my brother,” I lie. Lauren is great and all, but my heart will always be with Joss. You get one great love in life and mine has come and gone. His is here, and he’s going to lose her if he doesn’t make it right. “That shit means something to me,” I continue, releasing my hold on him.

  “Wake up, man,” I plead.

  Don’t be me.

  “Whatever it is you think you’re doing, I’m telling you, you’re doing it all wrong. Don’t do this, don’t let them go.”

  “I’m no good for them,” he rasps.

  “Then make yourself better,” I hoarsely reply. Lifting myself up, I stand and hold out my hand.

  From one brother to another.

  Take the fucking detour.

  Don’t make this another dead-end.

  Fourteen

  After we beat the shit out of one another, we had to go deliver Sun Wu and the Red Dragons a message at the docks. We might have given them their money, but they were going to learn they didn’t get the fucking final word. We intercepted a shipment of sex toys and sent a bunch of dildos flying into the Hudson River—how’s that for getting wet.

  Once that was handled, I went back to the clubhouse and stewed in my shit. Riggs had been avoiding me at all costs and only showed his face when Jack called church. After learning Lauren moved out of the apartment, I figured that’s where Riggs was hiding out. It wasn’t until I got a text from him, asking me to meet him there, that I actually got up the nerve to pay him a visit.

  Neither of us was willing to piss on a friendship and brotherhood that spanned two decades. If I had to be the bigger man and put this shit to rest, so be it. If he wanted to take another swing, I’d give him a free pass—after all, the guy was hurting.

  I found him in his apartment, painting the spare room he and Lauren had planned to convert into a nursery. The poor bastard was miserable and really believed he was doing the honorable thing by sacrificing his place in their life. We shared a few beers and then he dropped the bomb. The crazy fuck was
planning on killing Sun Wu.

  Riggs felt Wu was a threat to Lauren and their baby and as long as that fuck was breathing, his family would never be safe. He could stay as far away as possible and still, he feared Sun Wu would use Lauren to get to him. I tried to talk him out of it and explained it would be a suicide mission, but the man wouldn’t hear me. He wasn’t just stepping up to plate; he was going to save the whole fucking game.

  He was owning his shit and I couldn’t really fault him for it.

  It was honorable.

  He handed me a blank check and asked me to bring it to the hospital. Lauren didn’t have medical insurance and since he found out about Pea, he had been footing her doctor’s bills. After he admitted his love for her, I agreed to drop the check off in the morning.

  In a perfect world, we’d annihilate Sun Wu and his club and win this war, Riggs would get the girl and they’d raise their baby together. However, I’ve learned there is no such thing as a perfect world. The one we live in is a fucking nightmare and the only thing that would make it worse is if Riggs did something stupid and I had to be the one to tell Lauren, he was gone.

  I pushed the thought out of my head and vowed to do my part to make sure Riggs stayed safe throughout this battle. By hook or by crook, he was going to watch his kid grow up. He was going to get the chance to man the fuck up and own his role as that kid’s father.

  If I had to kill the Chinese fuck myself, I would.

  Fifteen

  Dropping the check off as promised, I turned to leave when Lauren ran right into me. Scanning her face, I let my eyes drop to her belly and a smile spread across my face. She was bigger than the last time I saw her which meant Pea was moving right along schedule.

  “Lauren… are you, all right?”

  “I’m fine, sorry. I’m late for my appointment and I wasn’t paying attention. What are you doing in the gynecology wing of the hospital?”