Confessions of a Hellion: Bluestockings Defying Rogues Book 7

by Dawn Brower

  She sighed. “I’m not tired now. Can we sit down and have a conversation instead?”

  That was the last thing he wanted to do. He blew out a breath. “I’m exhausted. Is it important?”

  Her face went completely expressionless. He’d said the wrong thing. Jason always seemed to say the wrong thing… The sad thing was he couldn’t discern a way to make it right with her either. “If you wish, we may discuss anything you want.” Jason might come to regret that, but he hated disappointing her.

  She walked over to the settee and sat. “Come join me.”

  Jason reluctantly did as she suggested, but sat so there was as much distance between them as he could manage. He leaned back on the settee, and once he was comfortable, he turned his attention to her. “What shall we discuss?” He gestured toward the window covered with the blanket. “How about this lovely weather we’re having.”

  She chuckled softly. “It is lovely…in the right circumstances. I usually enjoy curling up with a good book on rainy days. What do you do when it’s raining?”

  He usually hid at the club whether it was raining or the sun shined. There was one thing that was fast becoming his greatest pleasure…her. Being with Samantha made him happy even when his desire drove him near madness. “I don’t do much of anything on a rainy day.”

  “That is understandable. It’s difficult to get much accomplished with the rain constantly drowning everything out. What do you like to do when it’s nice out?” She scooted a little closer. “Do you enjoy cricket? Don’t you have your annual match coming up?”

  He scrunched up his nose. “Cricket is all right. It’s spending the day with Harrington, Shelby, and Darcy that makes it entertaining.”

  She nodded. “I understand that. My best memories have Kaitlin and Marian in them. Friends do make everything more pleasant.” She closed what little distance remained between them. “I have a confession to make. She let her blanket slip. “I’d hoped we would do more than talk.”

  Jason swallowed hard. “Samantha…”

  “Ssh,” she said and brought her face up to his and pressed her lips to his. “Don’t think. Just feel.”

  Jason gave in and kissed her back. He wrapped his arms around her and deepened the kiss. She scooted onto his lap and he groaned. He had to stop this, but he didn’t want to. It took everything he had to pick her up and set her back on the other side of the settee. He stood and walked away from her. It took a lot longer than he liked to get his body under control. The sooner they made it to Scotland, the better…

  Chapter 9

  After days of travel, they finally rolled into a small Scottish village at the border. Jason had to get married that day or he’d be disinherited. It’d taken far too long for them to make it there. The delays… Perhaps they had happened for a reason. Their time together had been precious and it allowed him the opportunity to see a different side of her. That time with her would always be something he’d treasure. In their journey, he’d been able to come to understand Samantha a little better. He’d always known she was beautiful and intelligent, but she was much more than that. She was courageous, a little wild, and a hellion to the core. He adored her spirit and determination. Jason appreciated her far more than he ever expected.

  He should have courted Samantha properly. He had been an idiot and ignored the solicitor’s summons, but mostly he wished he’d realized how much she meant to him before the inheritance had even become so important. He couldn’t go back and change any of that. His option was to move forward and hope for the best. That, in time, he could make her realize how important she’d become to him. How vital she’d always been, but he’d been too senseless to recognize it.

  He pulled the curricle to a stop outside of an inn, then turned to Samantha. “I’m going to see if there are any rooms. Then come back. Can you hold the reins until I return?”

  “Of course,” she answered and took them from him. “I promise not to ride off while you’re inside.”

  He stared at her, a little startled at her statement. Her lips twitched a little, but she remained silent. Jason shook his head. “That’s not even remotely amusing.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “It is…a little.” She held her thumb and forefinger up with a tiny amount of space separating them.

  He didn’t bother to respond to that. “I won’t be long,” he told her and went into the inn. It didn’t take him long to locate the innkeeper and secure a room for him and Samantha. After he had the key, he asked, “Can you have a bath brought up for my wife? We’ve been traveling for a while now, and she’ll be grateful for it.”

  “Of course, milord,” he replied. “I’ll have one of the lasses see to it.”

  “Thank you. It’s much appreciated.” He nodded at him. “Is there also someone in the stable to assist me with my horse and carriage.” He hoped he wouldn’t have a repeat of the first town. The hassle that had caused still irritated him to no end.

  “Aye,” he answered. “There’s a useful lad out there that will gladly help with whatever ye may need.”

  Armed with the information he sought, he went out to Samantha. She sat quietly in the curricle observing everyone as they passed by. He tapped on the side of the carriage to gain her attention. “Here is the key to our room. The innkeeper can direct you to its location, and a bath is being sent up for you.”

  “You’re not in a hurry to find a vicar?”

  He shook his head. “It can wait an hour or so for you to wash the dust from the road off. Afterward, we will have a nice dinner and relax. I think we’ve earned it.”

  “I quite agree.” She rewarded him with a brilliant smile. “What will you be doing? Don’t you wish to wash?”

  “I have to take care of the horses. Don’t worry about me; I will see to my needs. Meet me here in an hour and a half, and we will walk over to the vicar together.”

  He helped Samantha out of the carriage and then handed her valise to her. She took it and went into the inn. Jason made sure she made it inside and then led the horses and curricle to the stables. The lad working there was indeed quite helpful. He didn’t let Jason assist him with anything, and he was grateful. He’d become rather tired of acting as a stablehand on the trip.

  With the horses taken care of, Jason wandered over to the well and pulled up a bucket of water. He splashed some on his face and poured the rest over his hair, then shook his head. A bath it wasn’t, but it would have to do until he could find time for a proper washing. With that done, he headed back into the village. He wanted to find a gift for Samantha. Something special to celebrate their wedding and show her how much she’d come to mean to him.

  He wandered into a small shop that had several trinkets and hand crafted items. Nothing seemed right… It had to be perfect, but he wasn’t sure exactly what he hoped to find.

  “May I help you?” a woman asked. She had blonde hair so light it was almost white, and blue eyes that appeared streaked with silver. Her dove gray dress brought that silver out more.

  “Perhaps you can,” he said.

  “What are you searching for?”

  “Something special,” he answered. “For my…” He hesitated. Samantha wasn’t his wife yet. He may have referred to her as such with the innkeeper, but for some reason he didn’t want to lie to this woman. “Intended.” That wasn’t a lie. They would marry later that day.

  “You must love her very much,” she said. “Tell me about her.”

  Did he love her? Jason swallowed hard and considered how to explain Samantha and his feelings for her. “She’s willful, brilliant, and she drives me crazy.”

  The woman’s lips twitched a little. “And beautiful?”

  “Yes, but that’s not the most important part of her.” He waved his hand. “She has this way of making you feel…me feel…as if I can do anything even while questioning how I do it. It’s…”

  “Frustrating, thrilling, surprising,” she supplied the words for him.

  “Yes,” he agreed. “All of
those.” And he loved her. Bloody hell… How could he not have believed it before then? She was everything he’d want in a woman, and she’d been there all along. He was a damned idiot.

  “I think I have something that might work.” She led him over to a display of pendants. “Pick the one you think fits your lady.”

  He scanned them. There were several to choose from. Some of them were simple, but shiny. Other’s were more ornate and decorated with tiny gemstones. One of them made him think of his Samantha. “This one.” He pointed to it.

  “That is a lovely choice,” she said. “I’ll wrap it up for you.”

  Jason paid for the pendant and put it in his waistcoat pocket. He hoped he’d chosen right and that she’d love it. He could not recall the last time he’d been so nervous. He stepped out of the shop and took a deep breath.

  “There you are,” Shelby said. It was the only warning he had before his fist hit Jason’s nose.

  Fear spiked through him and his heart raced in his chest. They hadn’t married yet. He couldn’t let Shelby stand in his way or he’d never have Samantha, and he couldn’t live without her…

  Samantha walked out of the inn, expecting to find Jason, but he was nowhere in sight. She nibbled on her bottom lip, concerned. Perhaps he was running a little bit late…or maybe he’d changed his mind. What if he’d realized he didn’t want to marry her?

  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. That was a ridiculous thing to believe. He wouldn’t have traveled all the way to Scotland with her to then back out once they’d arrived. Something must be wrong, and waiting for him wasn’t going to help. Samantha prayed that whatever trouble had found its way to Jason didn’t involve her unruly brother. If Gregory had caught up to them, it would ruin all of her plans. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. The uneasy feeling inside of her wasn’t going away no matter how much she willed it to. She had to go find him.

  With that decision made, she started to walk toward the center of the village. The vicar was located on the far side of the town. He might be near there, and it was as good of a place to start as any. She passed a couple shops and then stopped. In front of one of them, her brother stood in front of Jason and struck him with a quick jab to the face. Jason fell over, but he didn’t stay there for long. Kaitlin was running toward them, her blonde hair slipping from the pins securing it in place. “Gregory,” she yelled. “No, stop. Try to act rationally…”

  Samantha’s breath froze in her throat. She’d feared this, but had believed they’d escaped the inevitable. Her brother was too overprotective. Kaitlin might as well try reasoning with a marble statue. Samantha rushed over to them. “Stop,” she yelled. She tried to yank her brother away by latching on to his jacket, but he pushed her away as if she were nothing more than a bothersome fly. Samantha hit the ground hard. Her entire body hurt from the impact, and she groaned with pain.

  “Samantha,” Jason yelled. Panic filled his voice as he tried to rush to her side.

  “You don’t get to go to her,” Gregory seethed. “You have no right.”

  “I have every right,” Jason said with defiance. “You disrespect her at every turn and have no faith that she can decide for herself what she wants. Have you ever asked her? Does she mean that little to you?”

  They had finally stopped fighting, and all it had taken was for her to bruise her tailbone and probably her hip and arm as well. A tear fell down her cheek. This was supposed to be a happy day. She’d finally marry Jason, and somewhere down the road he’d love her. That was her plan, and it had already failed. She’d never find her happy ending. “No, he hasn’t,” she said bitterly. “He never considers what I might want or what will bring me joy. My feelings have never mattered to him.” She met her brother’s gaze. The muscles in Gregory’s cheek twitched and he frowned. “Why would that change now?”

  “I’m not the villain you paint me to be.” His face lost all color as he continued to stare at her. “Sam…” Gregory began, a little contrite.

  “No,” she said firmly. “You don’t get to take this away from me. I shouldn’t have had to run away to get married.” Samantha stood up and stomped over to him. She jabbed her finger against his chest several times. “For once in your life, stop and think. Why would I go to these extremes? Should you, perhaps, instead of pummeling the man I love, congratulate me instead. Wish us a happy union…” She glanced at Jason briefly. He stared at her as if he’d never quite seen her before this moment. Something had washed over his face, but she wasn’t sure what epiphany he had discovered. Did what she had said mean anything to him?

  “You love him?” Gregory said, a little perplexed. “But you were marrying him so he could get his inheritance.”

  She waved her hand. “That’s a handy excuse. Do you honestly believe I’d throw myself away on a marriage of convenience? Good grief, men are stupid and blind.” She shook her head. “But what do I know? I’m a mere woman with a feeble mind. I must require a big strong man to ensure my survival and ultimate happiness.” Disgust dripped from her voice as she spoke.

  Kaitlin took a step toward her but stopped to glance back at Gregory. She seemed uncertain who she should go to. Samantha didn’t blame her for that uncertainty. Kaitlin was torn between the man she loved and a friend she adored. In her place, Samantha wasn’t so certain the choice she’d make either. She was sure about one thing: Gregory would never allow her to find happiness unless she made him understand what he was taking away from her. That his choices were leading to her inevitable unhappiness.

  “I suppose, in the end, I’m the fool though. I assumed, for once, my brother would be happy for me.” She turned toward Jason. “And I thought you might grow to love me. It is clear it was all wishful thinking on my part.”

  Samantha moved to stride away from them all. The wedding wouldn’t happen, so why bother entertaining the audience that had gathered around them. She needed a little time alone to grieve what she’d lost. It had been worth trying for, and she didn’t regret the effort, but it hurt to realize she’d never have Jason’s love. She glanced at him one last time before she turned to leave. He shoved at Gregory and rushed to her side. He moved in front of her in an attempt to prevent her from leaving.

  “Let me pass,” she demanded. She turned to put some distance between them, but he grasped her wrist firmly in his hand.

  He shook his head vehemently. “I can’t do that.”

  Samantha refused to meet his gaze. “Please don’t. This is hard enough already. I can’t do this again. I give up.”

  “No,” he said. His voice was hoarse with emotion. “Please don’t. I’d be lost without you.” He dropped to his knees. “I’m begging you to listen to me. Look at me and see my truth. What you said…all of it. I wish you’d told me sooner.”

  Samantha studied him. He was as handsome as ever even with the red welt on his cheek. It would be a nice purple bruise before long. “Would it have made a difference?”

  He blew out a shaky breath. “I’d like to believe it would have.” She turned her attention to him, unsure what he was about to do. He reached into his waistcoat and pulled out a small package. He unwrapped it quickly and pulled out a silver chain. A small silver star outlined with tiny white stones was attached to it. He held it out to her. “I bought this for you as a gift for our wedding. This is how I see you. It reminded me of the night we danced at the festival under the stars.”

  Jason stared up at her, waiting for her to respond. She nodded her head, uncertain what to say. It was a lovely trinket, but it didn’t tell her anything. It only served to confuse her more.

  “I didn’t understand what I was feeling then,” he began. “I never knew what love was. My mother ignores me at best, and my father…” He swallowed hard. “He wasn’t a good man. The only person who ever believed in me was my grandfather, and even he betrayed me in the end.” He unwaveringly met her gaze. Her heart skipped a beat, and her stomach fluttered uncontrollably. Samantha didn’t dare to hope, yet she couldn�
�t help letting some seep inside of her. Did his words mean what she thought they did? “But you, you’re different. You challenge me on everything, make me laugh when I want to withdraw from the world, but mostly you make me feel as if I’ve finally found where I belong. Don’t you see?”

  He reached for her hand and pressed the star pendant into it. “You’re my North Star. I was too blind to see it before. You are my home, my beacon in the storm.” His voice filled with urgency. “I love you. Please don’t leave me. I don’t think I’d survive losing you.”

  Another tear fell down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly and stared at the star in her hand, then looked into his eyes. “Of course I’ll marry you. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.” Jason stood up and hugged her close.

  Gregory cleared his throat. “That’s enough of that.”

  “Now, that we’ve settled that,” Kaitlin began as she stepped in front of Gregory. “I suppose we should go visit the vicar.” She gave Gregory a pointed glance.

  “She’s right,” he sighed. “But I’m not so sure I’m ready to give my blessing for these nuptials.” He gave Jason a pointed stare. “Why should I believe all these grand declarations? I am more than aware of your circumstances. You need to marry, and this is awfully convenient that you are suddenly in love with my sister.”

  “Why do you insist on being so difficult?” Samantha wanted to strangle her brother. “Do you not realize how diabolical you are? Sometimes I truly hate you. Please don’t stand in our way.”

  “I have to, dear sister,” he said solemnly. “Who else is there? I’ve protected you my entire life. No one else is here to save you from your own foolish mistakes.” He turned toward Jason. “I have to be certain that what he says and does are one and the same. He has to deserve you.” He turned toward Jason. “Tell me, old friend. Why should I consent to this match? What makes you worthy of Samantha?”