All I Want for Christmas

by Denise A. Agnew

  Candace’s full lips parted, surprise registering in her cool eyes. “That would be lovely, but really this can’t wait. I’ve got happy news that I wanted to let the entire family know.”

  “At least have a drink,” Mrs. Claussen said, leading Candace toward the dining room. “Abby, dear, you didn’t get anything to drink either. Come along.”

  Abby settled her plate on the coffee table and headed to the kitchen, listening to Mrs. Claussen’s congenial discussion about the weather. Amazing how Candace had dropped in and no one seemed to mind her presumptuousness. Abby heard the chatter of conversation return as Mr. Claussen turned on the radio.

  “What brings you here, Candace?” Mrs. Claussen asked suddenly as she poured Abby a white wine and Candace grabbed a glass of water. “Nick didn’t say you’d be coming up, only that you were in Russel for a visit.”

  Ah, ha. Go for it Mrs. Claussen. Weed out the ice-queen’s real motives.

  With a cloying smile Candace took a sip of her brandy. “Why it must have slipped his mind. He knew I would be here.”

  Abby almost choked on her wine. She sputtered and as she took a napkin to wipe the drink that had escaped down her chin, Abby caught Candace’s smirk.

  “Are you all right, dear?” Mrs. Claussen said, her face neutral as she patted Abby on the back.

  “Fine,” Abby croaked.

  Candace tossed Abby a slicing glare, obviously wishing Abby had strangled. “I have exciting news for Nick and the rest of you.”

  Abby’s stomach roiled and she put the wine goblet on the counter before she had another accident. “News?”

  “Oh, yes. But I don’t want to spoil it. I’ll tell everyone at the same time.”

  A million ideas raced through Abby’s mind. Her throat tightened, her eyes burned. Had Nick lied to her? What glorious plans had he made with this woman? Engagement? Moving in together? No, it didn’t make sense. How could he have told her just the opposite and made her believe that Candace meant nothing to him? His actions said he didn’t want this woman in his life.

  What are you hoping, Abby? That he’ll want you to stay in his life? You know he’ll go back to Denver. That he’ll return to the life he’s always known. Just the way you will.

  A sickening sense of betrayal formed in Abby’s psyche before she could stop it. Intellectually she knew she’d jumped to conclusions by not trusting Nick now. Emotionally she reacted the opposite, believing he’d deceived her.

  Not healthy, Abby. Not good.

  Struggling against half-formed fears, Abby reached for her glass again and started for the living room.

  “Can’t wait to hear all about it,” Abby muttered to no one in particular. “See you back in the living room.”

  Tension rose to serious heights inside Abby as she settled in a chair next to Brit and started a conversation. She purposely kept her gaze off Nick, afraid of what she might see there. When Nella introduced Abby to the twins, Abby concentrated on playing with the cute, playful children and finishing the plate of delicious food in front of her.

  “They’re beautiful,” Abby said, ruffling first one girl's hair and then the other's. “Like angels.”

  Nella beamed. “Thank you. Jason and I have so much fun with Jenna and Laura. Sure, they’re double the work, but we wouldn’t trade the experience for the world. We adore them.”

  In that second Abby discovered something she’d never felt before. A yearning, something intimate and primitive stirred to life and completely overtook her. She wanted a baby like these sweet kids.

  Before she could think about that astonishing revelation, the weather announcer started a report and Mr. Claussen shushed everyone.

  The grim story blared from the radio, “Severe gusts up to gale force predicted for the rest of this evening, expected to last through Christmas. Watch out folks, this is a bad one. Expect drifts up to three feet in some places, with possible worse conditions in the mountain areas.”

  Cheers and jeers went up around the room as the station returned to Christmas music.

  “Worse?” Brit gasped. “Cool. Excellent skiing!”

  “Only if we can get to the lifts,” Tom said, folding his arms and looking dejected.

  Nick grinned. “Frankly, I think getting snowed in here is a great idea.”

  “Oh, but we won’t be able to get back into town after Christmas,” Aunt Cassandra said, putting her wine down on the coffee table.

  “We’ve got the two cabins and plenty of room,” Mr. Claussen said. “You’re very welcome to stay longer, of course.”

  Candace and Mrs. Claussen came back to the room, and Mrs. Claussen appeared grim. Had Candace told her the news already, or did she wonder, like Abby, what the conniving woman had concocted?

  “I’d like to make my announcement now,” Candace said, her face suffused with satisfaction. She put her plate down on a side table, but kept possession of her water. “I thought it made sense to tell all you at once because it’s a happy occasion.”

  She paused, and when no one spoke, she continued, a thoroughly smug grin plastered on her violent red lips. “I’m pregnant.”

  Abby had expected something drastic from Candace, but somehow that hadn’t crossed Abby’s list of ideas. Her stomach roiled, and deep within her heart she felt sick. She scanned faces and saw surprise across the board. Nick frowned.

  Mr. Claussen cleared his throat in that nervous way he seemed to possess. “Congratulations.”

  No one else said a word. Candace’s expectant gaze turned storm cloud turbulent.

  Trained into politeness, Abby responded. “That’s great news, Candace.”

  Everyone followed Abby’s lead, congratulating Candace. Except for Nick. His gaze hadn’t left Candace, and Abby wondered what his heavy contemplation meant.

  But if Abby was stunned by the woman’s unusual announcement, it couldn’t have prepared her for what Candace said next.

  “I knew Nick would want me to announce this news, with it being Christmas. A wonderful idea, don’t you think?”

  All gazes turned to Nick, including Abby’s attention.

  Oh, my, God. She’s saying it’s Nick’s. She’s saying she’s having Nick’s baby.

  16

  Nick felt the rumble vibrate through him like a shuttlecraft ready for ignition. He should have known something strange would happen. Just when Abby’s presence here with his family had given him new hope, Candace dropped the bombshell of all time. His first shock had come when Candace had arrived unannounced and uninvited, and he realized immediately her intent. The woman had plans, none of them altruistic. This, though, dug the deepest and the dirtiest of anything she’d done before.

  Nick saw Abby’s face pale, and he knew immediately her thoughts. No doubt his entire family thought the same thing. Candace hadn’t said it explicitly. Yet every nuance in her words implied he was the father of her child.

  Nick’s gaze caught Abby’s, and she moved her head in a barely perceptible side-to-side motion. Was she saying she didn’t believe Candace, or that he was dirty scum and ought to be ashamed?

  No, damn it. He had nothing to be ashamed of. And if Candace thought she would ruin the rest of Christmas with this unmitigated, totally concocted story, she had better think again.

  “Candace, can we talk for a minute in private?” he asked quietly, heading straight for her.

  Candace smiled and latched onto his arm as she passed her. Her darkly painted nails practically dug into his arm. “Of course, darling.”

  Her cloying perfume wrapped around him like a trap. Nick wanted to strangle her skinny butt and then toss her into the snow. For obvious reasons he wouldn’t do that. The weather outside had turned vicious, the wind aggressive in attack, battering and screaming. Inside he felt caught in the storm, shoved and tossed and abused. He’d had it with Candace. Had it and wouldn’t take it.

  “Where are we going?” Candace said loudly enough for everyone to hear.

  Gritting his teeth, he said, “Upstairs
.”

  “Really I don’t think this is the time...”

  “Upstairs, please.”

  Once there, he pulled her into a guestroom on the enormous second floor and shut the door so firmly it almost slammed.

  Up here the tempest outside moaned, matching the anger building within him. He turned and her shrewd smile faded. He cursed, and she started at the vehemence in the word.

  “Of all the ridiculous, absolutely disgusting things to do, Candace,” he ground out.

  Candace lifted her nose and sniffed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I thought you’d be happy.”

  Nick’s emotions dragged him from one end to the other. He wanted to yell but realized that wouldn’t solve anything. Yet his fury built to a steady boil. “Well, if you’re happy you’re pregnant, then be happy. But that has nothing to do with my family Christmas. What in the world were you thinking coming up here uninvited?”

  She had the gall to appear affronted. “I’ve always been welcome at your family gatherings before.”

  Nick shoved one hand through his hair and made a scoffing noise. “Yeah, when you were invited. Invited is the operative word. How completely tactless and ridiculous, Candace. When we broke things off I thought that was it. I didn’t plan on seeing you again. I always knew you had a ruthless streak, and I wish to God now that I’d never dated you. If there wasn’t a blizzard outside, I’d toss you out on your ass.”

  His cut-to-the-point words did the trick. “I don’t believe you just said that to me.”

  Nick grunted and settled down on a chair with a thump. “Well, believe it. Just tell me why you’ve done this.”

  “Because I’m pregnant.”

  “What kind of reason is that?” When she said nothing, simply glared, he continued. Maybe right between the eyes would be more merciful. “Who is the father? Doug Tanders or Rick Beals? I know you’ve been shacking up with them over the months, behind my back.”

  It was her turn to look surprised, but the surprise instantly turned to anger. She leaned forward. “It’s your baby, Nick.”

  Nick didn’t know what he’d expected. It sure as hell wasn’t this. His mind raced. He hadn’t slept with Candace for months, and they had always used a condom. Obviously accidents happened. And he’d seen her around with the other men, as well as heard plenty of rumors about her behavior with Doug and Rick, his co-workers.

  Another mind-melding thought blasted through him like hot lava. If anyone was going to have his baby, it was going to be Abby.

  God, he wished he were in this room with Abby instead, making love to her.

  Both thoughts slammed through the chaos in his brain. If he hadn’t already planted his butt in a chair, the very idea of Abby having his baby would have landed him straight back on his ass.

  Momentarily shaking off the mind-blowing idea, Nick continued his tirade. He stood up and paced. “Candace, you and I haven’t been together for more than four months. And we always used contraception whenever we slept together—what was it—a total of two times?”

  “It’s your baby.” She pursed her lips, and he could see the shininess in her eyes. Oh, God, was she going to cry? “Contraception isn’t foolproof. You know that,” she hissed, tossing her perfectly styled hair.

  A lump had formed in his throat as big as the Titanic. “How far along? You don’t even show.”

  “About four months.”

  Nick still didn’t believe it. He didn’t have proof that the baby was his, nor did he have proof it wasn’t. “So you’re saying the last time we—”

  “Yes. Way before you got it into your head to run off to this silly little town.”

  “I’ve had the idea to run off to Russel for a long time.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh, God.”

  “That’s all you’ve got to say?”

  A lead weight settled on his shoulders and threatened to drown him. He couldn’t speak. Candace looked nervous as hell, and his stomach flopped and pitched. He’d never felt embarrassment around his family. Growing up in a big family, keeping secrets didn’t happen often.

  “You did this because you wanted to embarrass me into claiming this baby as my own? Without proof. Without—”

  “Jesus, Nick,” she whispered, looking honestly hurt for the first time. “Why do I need proof?”

  He hadn’t stopped pacing, and now his stride lengthened and took him practically from one end of the bedroom to the other. “Because the longer I’ve known you the more I’ve learned that you’re cold and heartless, Candace. You’ve moved up in the corporate world by stomping on everyone to get there.”

  “How dare you—”

  “I told you this week I wanted to break up with you completely and now you’re telling me you’re having my child?” He barreled onward, his boots making steady noises on the floor. His family could probably hear him pacing and wondered what the hell had happened. “You would have told me before.” Nick stopped, his breath catching in his throat. “If a woman really loved me she’d tell me right away if she was pregnant. She wouldn’t hide it from me for four months and conjure all this crap—”

  “You know I’ve always loved you Nick—” She stopped, as if waiting for him to say something.

  “Loved me? Candace you’ve never once said you loved me.” The notion that something else wasn’t right teased his brain. “We had an understanding. Nothing permanent.”

  “So you think you can screw with a woman’s affections and not take the consequences of your actions?”

  “Of course not. I never meant to hurt you, Candace. Nothing in your actions said—”

  “I gave you things, I was always available when you wanted to go out.”

  Nick took another deep breath to ease the desire to raise his voice. “Giving a person things and dating them is not tantamount to love, Candace.”

  “You slept with me.”

  A million objections warred in his soul. He didn’t sleep with women right and left, and Candace knew that. She’d been the only one since Deena.

  His gut wouldn’t allow him to capitulate and simply accept her word that he would soon become a father. Nick stopped pacing and faced her squarely. “I’ll want a paternity test.”

  “Paternity test?” Her voice rose so loudly he wondered if they heard her downstairs. “I expected more from you, Nick.”

  He made a sound of derision. “More of what? I’m being honest with you. I made the mistake of not cutting off our relationship sooner. I own up to making that mistake. But being willing to support a child doesn’t mean I have to be in love with you.”

  His words seemed to sink in for the first time. Candace’s eyes turned harder than chips of concrete. She folded her arms over her chest. “You bastard.”

  Her slashing words hardly affected Nick. “I’m a bastard for wanting to make certain a child is mine? A bastard for recognizing that you’re doing this because you saw how attached I’d become to Abby and you want to hurt her and me?”

  For several moments Candace didn’t speak. She stared at him as if he’d turned into a creep of the first order. “You think that’s why I’m doing this?”

  “I’m pretty damn freaking sure.”

  “I can’t believe this.”

  “Get used to the idea. If you wanted to ruin my Christmas or my family's, you haven’t, Candace. And you know why? Because I’m not letting you. I’m going back downstairs and have a damned good time with them and with Abby. If you want to stay up here and stew, be my guest. You’re welcome to have a place to stay for the rest of the night. But it isn’t going to be in my bed.” Nick felt the pressure building and lowered his voice to diamond inflexibility. “This doesn’t make me think any more of you than I did before. In fact, I’ve lost any respect I ever had for you. After this storm is over, you’re out of here.”

  “But—”

  “I don’t love you, Candace.” Then a realization came over him. “You wanted me to ask you to marry me, didn’t you? You thought if you announc
ed it like this I’d be shocked into asking you to be my wife.”

  Her lips trembled, but he saw no sign of tears in her eyes. She might be angry, but she wasn’t sad. “It would be the decent thing for you to do, Nick.”

  “This has nothing to do with decency. Why would you want to marry a man that doesn’t want you, Candace?”

  “Because I love you.”

  Nick snorted and he headed for the door. He stopped with his grip on the doorknob. “I don’t believe it. Besides, even if you did, it wouldn’t be enough and you know it. We’d never be happy and it would hurt the child once they realized their parents didn’t love each other. I refuse to do that to a child. Ever.”

  She made a scoffing noise. “That’s psycho-babble bull. How do you think children grew up happy and healthy in the past? A good chunk of their parents married for money and connections, or fell out of love.”

  “This isn’t the past. And I can’t marry a woman I don’t love.” Without another word, Nick left the room.

  Wind howled furiously as Abby closed the door to the cabin room she’d commandeered with Mrs. Claussen’s help. The second cabin glowed with the same warmth as the first. This large room, with a deluxe bath shared with the room next door, sat on the second floor. The Claussens had strung more lights and layered decorations on thick, just as Abby would have, if given the assignment.

  Unpacking her bag with trance-like movements, Abby remembered how she’d made excuses that she had a headache. She’d decided to turn in after Nick had taken Candace upstairs.

  Palpable discomfort had laced the room, and she wished fervently that Candace hadn’t screwed everyone’s holiday. Like videotape playing the same scene over and over, Abby recalled the gracious way everyone had continued talking after Candace’s scene-stealing announcement.

  A knock came on the door and Abby went to open it. Mrs. Claussen stood there with a smile. “Hello, dear. I wanted to make sure everything’s all right before I go to bed for the night.”

  “Everything is great.”

  “Wonderful. About tomorrow…everyone sleeps in, so take your time coming over for breakfast if you want. Of course there’s food stuffs and coffee downstairs in the kitchen if you get hungry for a midnight snack.”