All I Want for Christmas

by Denise A. Agnew

  Seconds later Abby captured his groans in her mouth as his heat poured into her. He shook from the force, reveling in the ecstasy he’d found in her body and her arms. With a last shudder Nick collapsed, his breathing hard, his heart galloping.

  For long moments she clasped him to her, wrapping her arms around his back and hugging, a surge of emotion rising so strong it threatened her eyes with tears.

  Nick rolled to the side and drew her into his arms, holding Abby as if she might escape.

  Abby traced her fingers through the mat of hair on his chest, then touched him with lingering indolence along his muscled abdomen. He shivered slightly and sighed, caressing her buttocks and back.

  “I’ve never lost control like I did tonight,” Abby said, amazed.

  Nick speared his fingers through her hair. “I didn’t come here planning on making love to you, even if it has crossed my mind every hour of the day since I met you."

  “What?” She straightened to look at him, skeptical.

  “I didn’t think I was so good at hiding what I was feeling.” His grin was irreverent. “You really didn’t know?”

  Abby propped up on one elbow and smiled slightly. “I felt the attraction. The way you flirted with me. I knew, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it.”

  Nick kissed her forehead and nuzzled against her ear. “Why?”

  As a renewed smidgen of desire kindled, she smiled at Nick. “I hadn’t known you long, so how could I trust my feelings?”

  She’d made the last step in breaking down her barriers, for she wouldn’t have made love to him without trust.

  Abby, you’ve gone and fallen in love with him.

  She couldn’t believe it. But it was true.

  “Nick, I didn’t mean for this to happen either.” Abby’s emotions welled and threatened another loss of control that would reveal all secrets.

  The soft, low light in the room tempered Nick’s gaze, hot from renewed desire. He cupped her face and placed a small kiss on her nose, then her lips. As Nick nibbled, sampled, aroused her lips until they swelled open for him, Abby thought she could stay like this forever. In his arms she could easily forget reality.

  “Don’t think. Just feel,” he whispered against her lips.

  He slipped between her thighs and drove home, and she gasped with unbelieving delight. As he centered inside her with gentle stokes, her eyes widened.

  “This time slow,” he said softly, his grin teasing and wicked.

  “Again?” she asked in soft astonishment.

  Before Nick’s lips took hers he whispered, “Again.”

  A soft knock on the door awoke Abby, and she bolted upright out of Nick’s arms. Her movement startled him and he, too, shot straight up in bed.

  “Who the hell is that? What time is it?” he asked.

  She dared a glance at him and grinned with hot appreciation for his sculpted, powerful physique. Another rap on the door brought her back to reality.

  “Quick,” she whispered. She hopped out of the bed and grabbed for her robe on the floor. “Back to your room.”

  “What?”

  Abby squinted at her watch on the bedside table. “It’s nine o’clock in the morning. It’s probably your mother wondering where we are.” She tied her robe hastily.

  Comprehension dawned on his face. He rubbed his chin, covered with stubble, then jammed his fingers through his already messy hair. He cursed and leapt from bed. Gathering his clothes, he started to hurry to the connecting door. Instead, he swept Abby against him for a quick, passionate kiss that left her gasping.

  His glorious smile combined with the kiss to make her breathless.

  “Merry Christmas,” he whispered, gazing into her eyes for one hot second. He released her and raced for the connecting door. It was locked. Pithy curses flowed from Nick’s lips.

  “The bathroom.” She pointed. “We have the connecting bathroom, try that.”

  Nick ran for the bathroom and quickly discovered it unlocked. With a wink, he slipped through the door and was gone.

  Abby sighed in relief, still stunned by his kiss. Another knock sounded on her door.

  “Abby are you in there darling?”

  Aunt Cassandra. God, what did she want?

  Inhaling a deep breath, Abby opened the door. Light from the hallway spilled into the room, revealing Aunt Cassandra. Aunt Cassandra looked warm in her parka, her boots still damp from the snow. “Morning, Aunt Cassandra.”

  Her aunt’s lips compressed, no smile lightening her grim expression. “Good morning. I thought I heard voices in here.”

  Abby grinned, hoping the heat in her cheeks didn’t give away her lie. “I was talking to myself.”

  “Can I come in? I need to talk with you before everyone is up for breakfast.”

  Although she didn’t feel like talking to Aunt Cassandra right now, she stepped back and let her inside. “You mean you’re the first one up?”

  Aunt Cassandra trailed into the room, unzipping her parka. “Mr. and Mrs. Claussen are up as well as the twins and almost everyone else. In fact, I think the only people who aren’t up are you and Nick and Brit and Tom.”

  Aunt Cassandra settled in the single chair in the room near the bedside table, holding her coat in her lap. Abby sank onto the bed, worried and ready for her aunt to say anything. A loud thump from the room next door made Abby jump.

  Abby smiled sheepishly. “Nick must be up.” Her aunt said nothing. When the silence grew ominous, Abby spoke again, clasping her hands in her lap. “Is there something wrong?”

  For the first time Abby could remember, her aunt’s expression held regret. Yes. Regret, hesitation, and remorse. Remorse? For what?

  “I have so many things to say, my dear.” Aunt Cassandra buried her small hands in the fur around the hood on her coat, clutching like she needed a lifeline. “I should have said something before we left your house, but I couldn’t. This is hard for me. I wouldn’t have come up here this morning and disturbed you but I knew I had to talk with you before the day began. It’s been bothering me for a long time. That’s one of the reasons why I wanted to see you this Christmas.”

  Did Aunt Cassandra think she could convince her to come back to New York? Perhaps she’d believe a second try would alter her mind?

  Even in the mental turmoil she’d experienced last night after Candace’s revelation, Abby had made a decision. Start with a clean slate.

  From now on her life was her own. Really her own.

  Abby had played at making her life the way she wanted it. Sure she had her store, a lifelong dream. But her emotional life had been blocked, her ability to allow a man to love her crippled by baggage. As surely as if she had lead weights tied around her ankles dragging her down. Abby couldn’t expect Nick to love her without a sure sense of her own worth, her own boundaries.

  “There’s something I also want to talk with you about,” Abby said, ready for confrontation.

  Her aunt’s cheeks turned pink. “I want you to be happy.”

  Abby wanted to believe it, but didn’t think her aunt knew the meaning of happiness. Childhood memories battered at her defenses. “You mean you want me to be happy as long as it’s your version of what should make me happy, isn’t that right?”

  Aunt Cassandra’s eyes widened. “Of course not. That’s ridiculous.”

  Old issues reared within Abby, flaring to hot life. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about. All my life my opinions have been stupid, silly, or ridiculous according to you. Whenever I differ in opinion, I’m wrong because it’s not your way of thinking.”

  Before her aunt could retort, Abby held up one hand. “You took me in when I was a child, and I’m grateful. But I’m an adult and you have no jurisdiction over my life. Russel is my home, and I have an established business. This is where I want to be.”

  Her aunt’s expression had changed, but not the way Abby expected. She’d thought Aunt Cassandra would argue, but instead the older woman seemed to sink into the chair, def
lating. “You’re a changed woman, Abby.”

  “Exactly. I’ve let this go on too long, and for that I am sorry.” Abby’s limbs trembled and the mad beating of her heart filled her ears. “I’m afraid I didn’t appreciate you dropping in on me without an invitation this Christmas. You called one day and expected me to drop everything to accommodate you. I planned on spending a quiet Christmas in my home, not with visitors.”

  “You’re here with Nick. With his family.” Aunt Cassandra’s voice came so low Abby almost didn’t hear her.

  “That was a last minute thing.” Abby twisted her lips into a rueful smile and shoved her hands through her hair. “They seem to delight in keeping tabs on him as well.”

  Aunt Cassandra nodded, and Abby marveled that the usual piss and vinegar in the woman’s eyes didn’t emerge. She didn’t seem angered. Only sad.

  “Families are odd things, Abby.”

  “I know. And it was wrong of me to ignore the problem we have between us for so long.”

  This time her aunt’s lips thinned, and something fearful flitted over her face. “Which ones?”

  “Right now it’s about me moving on. Living my life and moving forward from what happened...what happened when I was a child.”

  Aunt Cassandra placed her hand on Abby’s robed knee. “I’m like you. I should have understood. I should have listened to you.”

  “Which time?”

  Tears moistened Aunt Cassandra’s eyes, and Abby marveled. She’d never seen her aunt like this. Quite so agreeable. Quite so open. Almost ready to cry. She’d never seen her cry.

  Reality was that her aunt might never understand. Reality was that Abby had recreated her life when she’d moved to Russel. Abby had finally learned that it had meant sacrificing relationships that didn’t enhance her life.

  Aunt Cassandra withdrew her touch when Abby didn’t return the gesture. “When you...when you told me about your uncle and what he did to you, I should have listened. God, I should have listened. But I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to care.”

  Surprise rocked Abby, and potent tears stung her eyes, trickling from her eyes so quickly she lost control. She couldn’t speak, and as they locked gazes, she saw the same torment within her aunt’s eyes. Amazed, she stared, her throat aching.

  Her aunt ripped her gaze away and stared out of the frosted windows. “As a child you were vulnerable to him. The same rules don’t apply now. I was weak then. Very weak. I’m so very sorry Abby.”

  “What made you believe me after all these years?”

  “I kept my emotions inside, Abby. I’ve got my own baggage, as you call it. My own fears that I never resolved. I thought long and hard over the last few months about what you endured. Something else also happened. I caught your uncle with another woman. This time I couldn’t deny the evidence before me.”

  Aunt Cassandra crumbled then, and as she sobbed, Abby’s heart expanded.

  Nothing had happened this Christmas as she’d expected. And suddenly the gifts she’d received seemed enormous. Nick’s incredible lovemaking. Her aunt’s amazing revelation. A chance to renew a family tie she’d never expected to have.

  She couldn’t deny this woman had failed her in many ways. Now Aunt Cassandra seemed broken and willing to atone. Abby reached for a tissue and handed it to her, then knelt on the floor in front of her sobbing aunt. She touched Aunt Cassandra’s knees, wanting to give comfort. Her tears flowed free, releasing the tension that had built the last few days.

  “Aunt Cassandra, it’s all right. It’s finally all right.”

  When she looked up at Abby, her eyes glittered with tears yet unshed, but she smiled tremulously. “Can you ever forgive me for abandoning you when you needed me? I want to make it up to you. To wish you every happiness.” She covered Abby’s hands and pressed hard. “With that young man of yours.”

  Abby grabbed another tissue and dabbed at her eyes. “Candace’s baby isn’t his, Aunt Cassandra.”

  Aunt Cassandra’s skeptical expression eased into acceptance. “If you believe that, I’m sure you’re right. You’re a smart, giving young woman.”

  “It’s hard for me to trust you after all this time.”

  Aunt Cassandra’s head bobbed quickly, as if nodding faster made words more truthful. “I know. I thought I could try, though. Could let you see I’m different.”

  Cautious, Abby sighed. “We can try.”

  Aunt Cassandra hung her head, then looked up. “One last thing. I’m divorcing Dick. I’ve been his convenience far too long. The bastard will be on his own from now on.”

  Abby’s mouth opened, then closed. “When did you decide that?”

  “Before I called saying that we’d come to visit you. That’s why I wanted to see you. Not to try and bring you back to New York.” Aunt Cassandra twisted the tissue between her fingers. “I’m good at pretense, Abby.” More tears flowed as Aunt Cassandra sniffed and gulped back her obvious pain. “Anyone can change. Even an old woman like me.”

  Abby’s smile crossed her lips freely as lightness entered her heart. She knew a peace that outweighed other achievements she’d had in her life, second only to the love she had for Nick. “We’ll change together. One step at a time.”

  18

  Nick’s nose twitched as the coffee machine sputtered and gasped, filling the kitchen with the scent of java. He’d set cups out for Abby and her aunt.

  He’d heard them talking while he showered and changed, but refused to eavesdrop. Still, he worried. And while Christmas morning was half gone and his siblings had left the cabin, he didn’t rush.

  His mind percolated around the fact that last night had been wild, crazy, and amazing. In some ways his altercation with Candace could have spoiled his time with Abby. Yet when he’d made love with Abby, everything rotten had transformed into profound and good. He’d enjoyed every ecstasy-filled moment with Abby. As they’d pounded their way to heaven, then made love with heart-wrenching tenderness, he’d known once and for all.

  He loved Abby. He wanted to marry her as soon as possible.

  They hadn’t talked of love. But Nick realized that last night couldn’t have happened between them unless love entered. Hell, he’d wanted her from the moment he’d seen her. When she’d come into his life as an elf with caramel eyes, he’d known. A critical question remained. Did she love him?

  The idea that she might not love him made him sweat. No. He’d felt it in her touch as they’d tortured each other. Nick almost groaned with the memory of how she’d given to him and how he’d received heaven deep inside her.

  As he sipped coffee, he stared at the bright sun that parted the clouds, and knew this storm had finished. Drifts piled high, but snowplows would clear a path down this old road.

  Cold wind blasted in the front door as Brit and Tom came inside laughing and sputtering as snow fell from the roof and plopped on their heads. The wind had died down considerably, but fluffy snow, dry and light, blew inside with Nick’s sister and brother-in-law.

  “Merry Christmas, big brother.” Brit slipped off her boots and headed for Nick. “Everyone’s getting restless next door. We want to open presents and you’re still—um—screwing around.”

  “Now, Brit.” Tom smiled as he padded across the floor and snagged a mug of coffee for himself. He grinned salaciously at Brit, then took a healthy swallow of coffee. “It was all her idea to come over here and razz you.”

  Nick grinned, used to his siblings giving him a hard time. “Yeah, right. Abby’s upstairs talking with her aunt. I think we’ll be awhile. You can either sit around here and shoot the crap with me, or go back over and report.”

  “Nah,” Tom said, slinging his arm around his wife’s shoulders. “They can wait.”

  Brit smiled, but then sobered instantly. “Say, I don’t want to be nosy, but—”

  Nick grunted. “You’re always nosy. So I’ll just tell you right off. No, Candace isn’t having my baby. At least, I’m pretty sure she’s not. I asked for a paternity
test.”

  Brit sighed. “That’s a relief. For the record, I don’t believe a damn word that woman says.”

  Tom shrugged. “Maybe once the snow is cleared, she’ll get out of here. Christmas cheer can only extend so far after the scene she made yesterday.”

  Gulping the last of his coffee, Nick leaned against the kitchen counter. “What’s she doing now?”

  “Sulking in a corner by the tree,” Brit said. She flicked snow off her bangs. “I’m determined she won’t ruin my Christmas.”

  Before Nick could reply Abby came downstairs looking freshly showered, and her aunt trailed behind. To his surprise, they appeared at ease in each other’s company. Aunt Cassandra smiled brightly at him, and astonished by the transformation to her usually stoic demeanor, he grinned back.

  After morning greetings, he reached for Abby and placed a possessive arm about her shoulders. Damn, I want her again.

  Nick allowed his love to show in his eyes, and saw a blush fill her cheeks as he leaned down to kiss her forehead. When Aunt Cassandra, Brit, and Tom headed over to the other cabin, Nick asked Abby to hang back a few moments. Once the door closed, Nick took advantage and kissed her with hot, uninhibited desire.

  He gasped as they broke off the kiss. “Man, oh, man. I’ve been wanting to do that ever since you came downstairs.”

  Abby grinned and poked him playfully in the ribs. “You’re relentless, Claussen.”

  “Complaining?” He nibbled on her neck. “I don’t hear any complaining.”

  “Never,” she whispered as she succumbed to a pulse-pounding kiss that almost sent them upstairs. When he released her, she said, “Nick, I’ve been thinking.”

  Abby’s tone instantly worried him. Her brow creased, again concerned about something. “What is it?”

  “Last night.”

  “Last night was great.” He kissed her parted lips, unable to stop, dipping inside her to taste. Nick broke away reluctantly. “If we don’t stop, I’ll have you back upstairs and on that bed in two seconds flat.”