Distinct

by Hamill, Ike

  “Yeah,” Carrie said with a sigh. She looked off towards the trail. “I know it’s hopeless, but I came to talk them out of it.”

  “Out of what?”

  She seemed surprised by the question. “I came to stop them all from jumping off the cliff and killing themselves.”

  ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪

  They rushed up the path. Carrie was in the lead.

  “How come you’re not with them?” Brad asked.

  “I was,” she said. “I realized that I had more to look forward to than back on. Why are you not with them?”

  “I am,” Brad said.

  Carrie stopped and turned to face him.

  “What?”

  She was ready to fight or run. She would do either, depending on how serious Brad looked, but she almost hoped that she would have to fight him.

  Brad didn’t look like he was going to attack or even chase her.

  “I suppose I have to be,” Brad said. “It only makes sense.”

  “You don’t look like the others. They’re all walking around like they’re drugged or…”

  “Hypnotized. I know. You’re right—I’m not like them. I just realized that there’s no other path for me.”

  “Of course there is.”

  “No,” Brad said, shaking his head. “Think about it—he has witnessed every permutation of our decisions. To him, we’re a conglomerate of all the possible things we have ever considered doing. Since that’s true, and since he let us meet and walk together, then clearly I’m on his side.”

  “That’s not logical.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with the logic,” Brad said. “Given his insight, there’s just no way for him to be wrong. I can’t argue with that.”

  “You don’t have to argue. You can fight against his vision. You can help me ruin his plan.”

  “No, Carrie. If I were going to do that, he would have already taken me out. He would have predicted it, or seen a version of the future where I tried it, and he would have had his people neutralize me. Don’t you understand?”

  Carrie shook her head. “No. I’ll never understand giving up on life.”

  “I’m not giving up,” Brad said. “I’m only accepting what’s inevitable.”

  “Stay here, then,” she said. “Make one decision and stick to it, despite whether you believe that you can succeed. With each passing second you’ll realize that he doesn’t know everything. He can’t.”

  She walked away from him, while pointing her finger at the middle of his chest, like she could pin him down with the simple gesture.

  Brad stayed put until she was out of sight.

  ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪

  The sky began to brighten overhead as the trees thinned out. The first thing that Carrie saw as she approached the final climb was the dog’s wagging tail. He was up at the top of the path, where it broke out onto the surface of the rock. Carrie grabbed the ledge and found a toehold on a thick root. The sign read, “Running Deer Leap,” and the arrow pointed almost straight up. Carrie climbed.

  The young man was crouching and petting the dog. A boy was standing just behind him.

  “Robby,” Carrie said.

  He smiled and nodded.

  “Thanks for bringing Gordie,” Robby said.

  “That wasn’t me,” she said.

  “This is Jim,” Robby said, gesturing to the boy behind him.

  “I’m Liam,” the kid said.

  Robby looked confused for a moment and then he smiled again. “Sorry, this is Liam. Jim will be here at sunset.”

  “No, Robby, he won’t,” Carrie said. “That’s what I came to tell you. The Origin lied to all of you. Nobody is coming at sunset.”

  Robby rose up. Gordie pressed himself against Robby’s side and looked up with a lolling tongue.

  “You don’t need Jim,” Carrie said. “You have everyone you need. Look, there’s Romie and Lisa over there. Brad is right behind me on the path. These people are your family now. I don’t know Jim, but you need to let him go. He’s in the past. He’s at peace now.”

  “I promised that I would always protect him. I’m not going to fail again,” Robby said.

  “Protect his memory,” Carrie said. “Jim as the person you knew is beyond your protection now.”

  “Not every Jim,” Robby said. He waved to the dog and they started to move towards the rest of the group. Carrie held her ground, regarding the people there. She knew quite a few of them. Some were her close friends and neighbors from Northam. Others, she had met on trips to Donnelly.

  People looked out at the view of the hills and the lake below. A couple of people were stretched out on the warm rock and smiling up at the sky. She spotted the young woman from the drawing on the bus. Sure enough, she was over to the right by a tree, waiting for her heavy-shouldered lover.

  “Everyone!” Carrie shouted.

  ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪

  She had never been much of a public speaker.

  Back in Northam, several people had told her that this was why they had chosen her as their leader. She hadn’t campaigned for the position, although she had wanted it. There was a man named Ollie who had sought to lead the group. His age and experience had hardened his opinions and he sought to sway everyone else to his way of thinking. The people of Northam were independent and self-sufficient. When Ollie stood in front of them, talking about how he would organize and streamline everything, several people had demanded an election to choose their leader.

  Carrie had reluctantly accepted a position as a candidate after Abe had nominated her.

  She had wanted to lead, but hadn’t wanted to lobby for the job.

  For one thing, she was terrible at public speaking. During her tenure as the leader of Northam, her skills hadn’t improved one bit.

  She stammered as people began to turn away from the view and look to her.

  “I’m…” she couldn’t finish the declaration. She changed tactics. “I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to dwell in the past. The people you’re waiting for aren’t ever coming back. They’re gone forever.”

  She heard a few mumbles from the group, but only the little boy was brave enough to challenge her.

  “That’s not true,” Liam shouted. “I wanted Prince and Corinna to come back, and look.”

  Liam pointed. Right behind him stood a young woman and a giant dog. He looked like he had his little family unit just behind him. Carrie wondered what else the boy might need. That was the point—that way of thinking was a trap.

  “Liam, right? Who are you waiting for today?”

  “My mother is coming back from Burbank,” Liam said.

  Carrie struggled to speak clearly. It was easier to address the one kid rather than the whole group.

  “Is she flying right to this cliff, Liam? Where’s the plane going to land? Did your mother come and tell you that she would be here today, or did someone else tell you that?”

  She was losing the group. She could sense their disapproval as she bullied the little boy.

  Liam didn’t care. He stuck his chin up with defiance. “You don’t know. She could come in a helicopper. They can land anywhere.”

  “I hate to say it, Liam, but you don’t need her. She would want you to be happy and to move on with your life. She would want you to keep moving forward—keep surviving.”

  “We are,” someone said. Carrie turned.

  A woman came a few steps closer to Carrie.

  ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪

  “I met you one time, Carrie. You probably don’t remember me. My name is Cirie. I know you’ve talked to The Origin. He told me that you’re very sad about the woman who was a mother to you when you needed it, right? Why are you turning your back on Jannie now?”

  “I know what you’re doing, Cirie,” Carrie said. “I’ve been in your shoes. He told you what to say, and now you’re hearing it in your head like it was your own memory. It’s not your memory. It’s his false narrative that you’re repeating right now. You’re
better than this, Cirie. You’re a woman of science. Use your brain instead of your heart and really think about what is happening here.”

  Cirie folded her arms and stared at Carrie. “I evaluated the evidence, formed my hypothesis, and then designed an experiment. That’s why I’m here today. My approach is completely scientific.”

  “I’m not talking about why you’re here. I’m talking about what you’re all getting ready to do,” Carrie said.

  She heard someone approaching from behind her on the path. She knew who it would be. It would be The Origin, and he would have someone with him to quiet her before she could sway anyone to her side.

  The voice that came wasn’t from the slow-eyed man. It was Brad, catching up to her on the path.

  “Tell us what we’re about to do,” Brad said. He climbed the rock and stood beside her.

  “When they don’t come—when your loved ones don’t show up like he promised—you’re going to kill yourselves. It’s the only way he can get what he wants.”

  For a moment, as everyone silently regarded her, Carrie thought that she might have gotten through to one or two of them. A man in back started to chuckle. The laughter was contagious. Carrie felt shame and frustration wash through her in a hot river as the sound grew.

  A couple of people didn’t join in, but they were no help either. If anything, their sad pity was worse than the laughter.

  The light was starting to soften as the sun descended. Whispers scurried through the crowd. She didn’t want to admit it, but Carrie could sense that something was about to happen.

  “Please, everyone, we have a good life that we’ve built here.”

  They were starting to turn away—looking out at the scenic view and waiting for the reward for their loyalty.

  “Everyone! I’m pregnant. I didn’t want to tell anyone until I was farther along, but you should all know. There is hope for us here. We can have babies and we can spread out again and have communities with children. We don’t need to look to the past anymore.”

  Some people actually turned back to listen to her announcement, but it didn’t have the impact that Carrie had hoped for. Most of the people still had their attention turned to the glowing sky of the setting sun.

  “So what? Marie is pregnant too,” someone said.

  A woman gave Carrie a clipped wave. “Yeah, I’m pregnant. I thought I had lost my baby two-and-a-half years ago, but she’s coming back. A couple of us are pregnant.”

  Carrie shook her head. “No. It’s not the same. This is real. I got pregnant recently and I never lost this baby. This baby is alive inside me right now. It’s not just something that I hope will happen.”

  “Who’s the father?” someone shouted.

  Carrie took a shocked step backwards and almost stumbled down the rock ledge. She caught herself with a branch that bent and threatened to break. In a fraction of a second, Carrie saw her future. She would tumble down the slope, hit her head on a rock, and bleed out while everyone else in the entire world gave up on life and chose death instead. This would be the end of humanity. The alien invaders couldn’t kill them, but the strength of some silly tree branch would dictate their fate.

  The branch held. Carrie regained her balance and stood perfectly still while she waited for her heartbeat to return to normal. Sweat had broken out under her arms. The breeze that washed through felt like ice needling through her shirt.

  She blinked and realized that several people had turned around. They had turned from the setting sun and given their attention back to her.

  She had one more chance to…

  “Who’s the father?” Mike asked.

  Carrie turned to him and opened her mouth to answer. Even more people turned to watch the exchange.

  “Carrie,” Romie said as she took a step away from the ledge, “who is going to be the father of your baby?”

  Carrie started to shake her head. Her response wasn’t to their question—it was to the tears she felt rising within her. They were starting to pool in her eyes and blur her vision. She wasn’t going to cry in front of these people. They were her friends and fellow citizens. Many of them had elected her their leader. She wasn’t going to break down right in front of them.

  “Carrie,” someone else started. His voice was kind and gentle. It was the voice of the doctor who lived up in Donnelly. Carrie had been meaning to go see him. It was probably his treatment that had led to her fertility. She owed him a visit to thank him and also to have him check on her pregnancy. But she hadn’t wanted to go just yet because she wanted to be farther along. Also, she wanted…

  “Who’s the father?” Dr. Matthew asked. “From our last visit, I would say that it’s unlikely that you would be ovulating any time soon. I hate to say that I’m doubting you, but this would really be a surprise given your…”

  …RUN!…

  She didn’t hear the rest of his statement. The voice inside her had never been louder. The sound of it made Carrie clamp her hands to the side of her head. There was no use fighting it now. Her tears were falling fast and there was nothing she could do about it.

  Dr. Matthew took a cautious step towards her.

  Carrie obeyed the voice. She turned to run far away from this group of lunatics. Suddenly, their fate seemed way less important than her own safety.

  At the edge of the rock, where she had to be very careful or else she would tumble down the steep path, her foot caught a root. There was no tree branch for her to catch this time. Carrie began to fall.

  CHAPTER 58: CONVERSION

  CARRIE BLINKED UP INTO the light above her. The sun shouldn’t have been overhead. It was supposed to be setting. That’s what she was trying to beat—she had to convince everyone that…

  “Hey,” Jannie asked as her head blotted out the sun. “What are you doing?”

  A hand reached down and took hers. Before she knew it, Carrie was being lifted to her feet. A wave crashed and Carrie turned. The surf was really high. John was being an idiot, like usual, in way over his head and trying to catch the perfect wave.

  “He’s going to drown,” Carrie said as she tented her hand over her eyes. The breeze was strong. Her eyes began to water.

  “Look around,” Jannie said. “If John drowns, there are a million more like him.”

  Carrie and Janice shared a laugh.

  Carrie stopped laughing abruptly.

  “What’s wrong?”

  It took Carrie a second to put it into words.

  “This—all of this. I must have hit my head and knocked myself out. I was up on the cliff with everyone and I was trying to convince them not to kill themselves. I have to convince them and I have to prove that I really am pregnant. Nobody believes me.”

  Janice nodded along, taking it all completely seriously.

  “Yes. That sounds very important,” Janice said. Her face broke into a smile. “You’re an idiot! Let’s go back to the towels. Maybe we can eat the sandwiches before the seagulls steal them.”

  Carrie tried to object, but Janice grabbed her hand and pulled. They laughed and ran across the hot sand to where the towels were stretched out.

  ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪

  Romie sat down on the edge of the rock. Lots of people were already clamoring over to the crazy lady—she didn’t need to go. Romie remembered when she had thought that Carrie had her shit all together. Somewhere along the line, she had gone crazy. It happened. Romie had seen it before. It was really none of her business.

  The sunset was going to be beautiful. The sky overhead was clear, but down near the horizon, those clouds would be on fire soon. Romie closed her eyes and thought about the last time she had seen her family.

  “Jeezum Crow, Richie, you’re gonna take the whole friggin’ thing,” Kenny said.

  “I am not either,” Richie said. He adjusted the knife to cut a smaller portion of the breast. Used to be that gramps would have divvied everything up, but he had been dead a long time. Ever since, Richie and Kenny would fight over the rations
no matter how big a bird they cooked.

  Pam elbowed Kenny and he adjusted the knife again. His portion was going to be downright reasonable if they all kept an eye on him.

  “What’s your damage?” Ava asked.

  It took Romie a second to realize that her sister was talking to her. She had felt like an outside observer until that point. Now, she was swept all the way in—part of the conversation.

  “Nothing wrong with me. I’m just hoping to get some food on my plate before everything goes cold,” Romie said.

  “You’ll wait your turn like everyone else,” Momma said.

  Romie frowned. She was the oldest of the adult children, and therefore always got the short end of every stick. Didn’t matter that they had all been grown up for far longer than they had been kids. Didn’t matter that the age difference between them seemed to be shrinking every year. Romie would always be the oldest, and therefore she was always expected to make sacrifices for her siblings.

  When Fran was being ornery, she would always say, “Won’t be too long before Momma’s gone, Romie, then you’re in the on-deck circle.” It seemed like Fran was always keeping score of who would die next.

  The biggest problem was that she was always right.

  “It’s too stinking hot in here. You people get this worked out and I’ll be back for my share,” Momma said. She stood up and began the slow shuffle to get around the corner of the table. Momma’s spot pinned her in. Her chair was the only one with arms and it wasn’t easy for anyone to squeeze between them and the wall. And Momma had a serious disadvantage because of her generous backside.

  “I’ll go out with you,” Fran said. She knew what Momma was going to do on the back porch.

  “No, thank you, I’ll go it alone,” Momma said. That meant whatever Momma was smoking, she didn’t have enough to want to share.

  “Seriously, Romie, you look like you’re on drugs. If you’re on drugs, I want some too. What’s wrong with you?” Ava asked.