Was I going to tuck tail and run every time I got scared?
Absolutely not.
Just like Mrs. Quinn had told me I’d be able to do, I was going to take another step forward.
Chapter Six
Holt
Water.
I guzzled down half of a cold bottle and nearly spit it out with the sound of the lock on the front door turning.
Baker strutted in on her sex-kitten heels, her hair disheveled and her dress wrinkled from the night out dancing. She flicked a glance my way and kept moving straight toward her bedroom.
I’d rather she’d slapped me.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her as she sashayed past. Yeah, I was pissed at the accusations she’d hurled my way, needed some space to breathe. But more than that, I was relieved she’d come home. Truth be told, I was angry at myself for leaving her in that crowded nightclub to not only fend for herself, but find her own way home. I was raised better than that. But coupled with that guilt? What if she hadn’t made it home safely?
What if she’d hooked up with another handsy guy after I left? And she didn’t come home because she was with some ass—
Shit. I’d done that to her last night. That’s what she meant.
She and I didn’t have any obligations to one another, but there was something simmering beneath the surface. A little more heat and it was going to boil over. Both of us were already burning.
I couldn’t shove that word out of my head, either. Brainwash. Whoever had tried to do that to her, I wanted to kill. Teach them a lesson for hurting her. Because in that club, there was a moment where she’d been scared. Not of me. She hadn’t even been with me for a minute. Her fear was so real, I’d felt it too.
This wasn’t what I signed up for. I couldn’t care about anyone else. There was just no room for it in my life. I wasn’t willing to let another person leave me. She was supposed to be something new. A little bit of fun.
Except, I was unsettled. Desperate to go to her, take away her hurt. Make her smile.
Baker might need some space. Hell, I probably did too. No, maybe that was the problem. There was too much space between us.
I tossed my empty bottle in the recycling and headed down the hall. Instead of veering into my bedroom, I knocked once on her door and went on in without waiting for a response.
I nearly tripped. She was wearing one of my T-shirts, long, bare legs going on for days. Her hair was up in some sort of messy knot, a few pieces already loose in her face. And that face. It was free of makeup. She looked younger, innocent even.
She’s beautiful.
“Did we not just discuss boundaries?” She busied herself with tossing her dirty clothes into a laundry basket instead of looking at me.
“Are clothes included in that? Because that sure looks like my shirt.”
Her back stiffened before she turned to face me. “I didn’t have any clean ones.”
Little liar. But I liked the sight of her in my clothes. And that in itself was weird. It didn't equate with a little bit of fun.
I made a non-committal noise and took long strides toward the bathroom.
“Another shower?” she called through the open door.
“Nope. Toilet’s not working now.”
“I thought you were fixing things, not breaking them.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Where’d you get the idea I’m a plumber?” I asked, flushing the toilet.
Baker crowded in the doorway as I washed my hands. “You. I got that impression from you.”
Her mouth rolled from one side to the other in frustration. I took a step closer as I dried my hands with her pink hand towel, absently tossing it back toward the sink when I was done.
She held her ground. Something about that made me inordinately happy.
I fixed an apologetic look on my face. “Thought I’d get to work on it some this weekend, but I gotta go into the garage tomorrow. Maybe Sunday too.”
She looked panicked. “Why don’t we hire someone? We could both pitch in. I have a little saved.” The edge of desperation in her voice had me closing the gap between us. Her head tilted back to look at me as I got a breath of her sweet scent.
I pointed in the direction of my room. “Easy, that’s thousands of dollars of work if we hire somebody.”
“But we can’t keep doing this.”
I grinned at her. “Sure, we can. I think we’ve done pretty well so far, don’t you?”
“I guess,” she conceded. Something in me swelled with an intensity I wasn’t used to.
I lightly chucked her chin and winked. “You guess right. Now, I’ll get out of your hair.”
When she didn’t immediately move, a hope I shouldn’t have felt crept through me. I didn’t want to leave her any more than she wanted me to go.
“Good night,” she said stiffly, taking a step back.
Disappointment poked at me. I didn’t want to be alone. I opened my mouth to tell her as much, then I thought better of it. Alone was what I deserved. And Baker had enough shit to deal with. No need to drag her into mine.
My phone vibrated in my pocket.
“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Baker pointed toward me with her chin. “It’s late. Could be important.”
She was right. As soon as I saw the caller ID, I wished I hadn’t. Celia.
I shoved my phone back in my pocket as if it had burned me.
“Who was that?” A few wrinkles formed on the top of her nose.
My jaw clenched. “No one.”
“It had to be someone—”
“I said it was no one,” I snapped, and she recoiled. I closed my eyes to reel in my temper. When I opened them, Baker had her arms wrapped around her middle. I couldn’t take it twice in one night. “I’m sorry. It’s just—I just—come here.”
I opened my arms, but she didn’t move. We stared at one another. Only three feet separated us, but it seemed like a mile.
“Easy.” The word came out a plea.
She hesitated before she took a tentative step forward. My heart leapt, an erratic beat drumming with her next step. One more. That was all we needed.
She let out a shaky breath and closed the distance. Without hesitation, I folded my arms around her and pressed her head to my chest. A sense of rightness came over me. I clung to it because I knew I’d have to let it go. Let her go.
Slender arms slid around my back. I closed my eyes and rested my cheek on the top of her head.
“I stayed at my dad’s last night.”
Her hold on me tightened, and she burrowed deeper into my chest. I wove a hand through her soft hair, clinging to her. She felt perfect against me.
Peace. Light. Sanctuary.
“I’m sorry I said those things,” she confessed quietly.
I tipped her chin up and was lost for a second in those open eyes staring at me. “I’m sorry too. Truce?” She nodded, and I grinned. “You owe me a roommate night.”
“Oh, I do?”
“Yep. I’ll cash in my raincheck tomorrow. Pizza. Beer—”
“And the Walking Dead. I got it,” she finished.
“You wanna sleep in my room?” A strangled gasp escaped her and she struggled to get out of my hold. “No. No. I meant—dammit.” I tried to regroup before I completely terrified her. “I have to get up early tomorrow. If we switched rooms tonight, I wouldn’t disturb you when I need a shower. You could sleep in.” I was rambling in an effort to make up for my huge foul. Who did this to her?
She relaxed, though her eyes were still wary. I suspected she did that a lot and I was only just recognizing her hurt. But that’s the Baker I first met. “No. It’s fine.”
“Okay. Sweet dreams.” I kissed the top of her head, both of us blinking at one another in surprise.
She released me, and I wanted to put her arms back around me. But I resisted.
“Sweet dreams.”
* * *
I stretched out on my bed, staring at the ceiling despite the
darkness. Where I wanted to be was only a room over, but I’d done enough damage already. Pushing when I didn’t really know what I was doing.
I wanted her. There was no denying that. But I couldn’t have her. Baker deserved more than just sex. She deserved a guy that would treat her right. Put her first.
And I wasn’t that guy.
Those lips. I’d been so close, yet hadn’t touched. I fisted my dick, the pressure building too much.
Those legs. God, her body. Every inch of her sweet perfection.
I hadn’t been thinking when I barged in on her shower. Didn’t consider the consequences. Like how I couldn’t get the sight of her wet and those feral eyes out of my head. She was wild and innocent. Fire and passion. And her body? Holy hell. She was stunning. Creamy, soft skin. Tits I wanted to bury my face in and suck. Trim waist, something I held at the club hours ago. Damn . . . every one of her perfect features rolled through my head. Fuck. So gorgeous. I wished I’d touched her when she was naked, the way I had at the night club. Inhibitions gone. Restraint at zero. Want at 100 percent. Her name.
I pumped my shaft in hard, intense strokes. “Easy.”
Her name was a prayer on my lips. Torture and mercy. That woman was driving me straight out of my mind.
I looked down at my dick as I stroked, imagining her mouth around me, taking me deep. My cock swelled. I pictured her eyes, ripe with pleasure as she looked up. Hungry for me as I was for her.
My balls ached. I needed Baker. To feel her around me. To have her come apart at the seams because of me. My hand was a poor substitute, but it was the best I had.
I bet when she let go she was beautiful. I could almost hear her crying my name in bliss and that was my undoing.
“Easy.”
Thick ropes of my release shot to my stomach. I pumped until there was nothing left, sinking into the mattress.
Moving in with Baker was both the greatest and worst idea I’d ever had.
And damn her, my dick twitched back to life. But it wasn’t my own touch that would do. Hers. I had to have it, and I couldn’t.
My phone buzzed on the nightstand, lighting with an incoming call.
I lolled my head to the side, my arm too heavy to reach for the phone.
Celia.
Why now? It had been months. I had started to forget.
No. Baker had distracted me.
She made it so simple to forget what I’d left behind. I’d practically vanished from my old life. Left it like I had the intention of going back. I’d led my family to believe I might.
There was no way. I’d tried to stay until I felt like I was crushed to the point I couldn’t breathe anymore.
One lone buzz signaled a voicemail.
A knot formed in my stomach. I didn’t care what she had to say. Yet . . . I reached for the phone anyway and held it to my ear like a desperate fool.
“Hey . . . it’s me. I know it’s been a while . . . Crap. Just call me back. I-I miss you, Holt.”
Her voice turned me inside out, just like it always had. I listened to the message six times before I buried the phone under my pillow. I turned on my side and punched the goose down, which did nothing to squash my anxiety.
Weak.
It took all my strength not to call her back. She missed me?
Truth of it was, a part of me missed Wyoming . . . and her. When I moved there, I’d been running from New York. All these years later and I’d run right back here.
Running. Always running.
I rolled to my other side and tossed back to the same position. Would I ever find the place where I belonged?
All I wanted was to be accepted. I’d never had it here. Sure, my family loved me, but my mother’s abandonment had caused this deep rooted sense of unsettledness. Made me question if anybody really wanted me around. The last year had only cemented that insecurity.
I was sick of living with a shadow of doubt constantly hanging over my head. Problem was, I didn’t know how to get out from under it.
“Holt?” Baker’s roughened voice broke through the darkness.
I rolled over. Light from the hallway spilled in, her shadowy figure huddled in the doorway.
I sat up straight, on alert. “Everything okay?”
“I can’t sleep.” She rocked back on her heels, eyes trained on the floor before they found mine. The turbulence in them made something inside me ache. She was begging for me to make it better, and this was her way of doing it.
I slid over and pulled the covers back. “I can’t, either.” She scurried across the floor before she lost her nerve. “Wait,” I said when she was at the edge of the mattress. “I, uh, can you give me a sec?”
Her shoulders deflated. “I can go.”
“No.” I reached for her hand when she turned to leave. “Hang on. Figure you probably wouldn’t appreciate that I’m naked under here.”
She appeared amused. “When are you not naked?”
I tilted my head as if considering. “Fair point.” I lifted my chin toward the dresser. “Problem is, my sweats are over there.”
Even in the dim light her amusement was visible. “Are you getting shy now?”
“Maybe a little,” I teased, easing out from under the covers. Shit. I still had come all over my stomach. I swiped a shirt off the floor and discreetly cleaned it off as best I could.
I felt her eyes on me, slightly embarrassed that she probably could see the evidence of what I’d been up to. Couldn’t help it. She did this to me.
Baker crawled into bed, and I made the mistake of looking over at her. The sight of her there in my T-shirt had my body at full attention again.
What the hell? She turned me on. No point in hiding it.
I tossed the shirt on the floor and stalked to the chest of drawers, pulling out a pair of old sweatpants.
“I need some water. You want some?”
“Yeah.” I swore I heard disappointment in her voice now that I had some clothes on. Or maybe I just wanted to.
I hurried to the kitchen, rinsed off the rest of the mess on my stomach, and returned to the bedroom. Baker was propped against the headboard. A little more of her hair had worked loose from the knot it was pulled in.
This was where I wanted her.
My steps faltered at the thought. I shoved down the truth and forced the cocky swagger to the surface that I’d learned as a disguise.
Her eyes were all-knowing when they met mine.
She saw me.
She saw everything. Hopefully she didn’t hear everything too.
I unscrewed the cap on the water bottle and passed it to her. She took a drink, but I guzzled most of the liquid when she gave it back to me.
“Lights on or off?” I motioned toward the hallway.
“On.”
I rounded the foot of the bed and slid in beside her. “Come here.”
She hesitated, eyeing me warily before she crawled into my arms. I settled her head against my chest and stroked her hair, the finest silk between my fingers. Her breath was warm on my skin and when she slung her arm around me, something right clicked into place. Something I’d never felt.
“Want to talk about it?” I asked against the top of her head.
“No.” She clung to me a little tighter. I didn’t want her to hurt, but it gave me inordinate pleasure to know when she needed someone she’d come to me.
I kissed her hair and ran my hand up and down her spine. She sighed, her body already growing heavy with sleep.
“Holt?”
“Yeah, Easy?”
“Maybe we should forget the boundaries.”
Chapter Seven
Baker
“Baker.”
The sleep-roughened voice that spoke my name made me want to stay in my dream. I was in strong arms. Safe. Content.
“Baker.”
A soft kiss pressed to the top of my head sent warmth melting through me. No, I definitely didn’t want to wake up.
“Easy, I don’t want to get u
p, but I’ve got to go to work.”
Easy. Hmm. I thought that sounded like Holt’s sexy voice. I clung more tightly to the dream, though it felt as if it was slipping away.
A laugh rumbled in my ear. I screwed my eyes shut, desperate not to let this go. “I’m flattered. And you aren’t making this easy. But I can’t be late again.”
“Mmm. Keep talking. But not about work,” I mumbled, fighting reality.
Another laugh and I couldn’t avoid him any longer. Bright eyes met mine when I blinked open. I propped my chin on his chest.
“There she is.”
Whoa. His knockout smile sent me spinning. They always did, but this one was different. More . . . real.
“Hi.”
He swept a piece of hair from my face. “Sleep okay?”
“Yeah. Better than okay.”
Last night, I couldn’t get away from the demons. All I’d wanted was Holt. I’d crossed a line by coming to him, but that didn’t stop me. It was a decision I had no regrets over.
“Me too,” he said quietly.
Something cool poked against my back. Blindly, I reached behind me. “What’s your phone doing in the bed?”
A shadow passed over his face and I immediately wished I’d left it alone.
“No reason.” He pulled me closer to him. “As much as I’m enjoying this, I really do have to get up.”
I pushed at him playfully. “Go. The sooner you’re out of here, the sooner I have the house to myself.”
“Are you saying you’re already tired of your roommate?”
“I thought you were going to be late.”
He groaned and threw the covers off. “Fine.” Absently, I traced a pattern across his chest. “Thought you wanted the house to yourself today?”
“I do.”
Trust Me: A Roommates To Lovers Romance Novel (Free Book 2) Page 4
