“That’s not the way to get it.” He flipped me on my back and tickled my sides.
“Holt,” I shrieked, flailing about. “Go away. Go away.”
“Aww. You don’t mean that.”
“I do,” I said between laughs. “I definitely do.”
* * *
Holt strolled into the kitchen, hair damp from a shower I hadn’t joined him in, with a fresh pair of coveralls on. I steadied myself on the counter, growing warm at the reminder I’d spent the night in his arms.
“I packed your lunch.” I offered him the brown bag.
His startled look gave way to something that appeared in the same family as pleasure. “Thanks.” He leaned a hip against the counter beside me.
“I didn’t make it,” I hastily explained. “Trish did.”
“Yeah? So I guess I need to thank her instead.”
I swatted him with a dish towel. “Go.”
His eyes drifted toward the dining room table. “What are you working on now?”
“I’m still trying to figure out the lip gloss. I can’t get it the shade I want.”
“Keep at it. You’ll get there.” I gaped at him, surprised by his confidence in me. He rapped on the counter twice. “I’ll see you later.”
“See you,” I said, almost shyly. I didn’t want him to go and that spelled trouble.
He grabbed his leather jacket off the back of the sofa. Halfway to the door, he turned around and pointed at me. “Don’t forget tonight. Pizza. Beer.” He looked at me expectantly.
“The Walking Dead,” I grumbled.
“You got it.” He made a finger gun and winked at me as he pulled the trigger.
I gasped, shaking in fear, and the second the door clicked shut, I took another breath.
It was nothing, meant as a cute gesture, yet the move nearly sent me to my knees.
I stumbled to my bedroom, my heart beating so hard I could barely catch my breath. With shaky hands, I unplugged my phone where it was charging on the nightstand and dialed.
“Can you come over?” I choked out.
As soon as I got an okay, I hung up and collapsed on the bed.
* * *
Trish found me curled up in a ball where I’d been since I called her.
“Baker?” She crawled in bed beside me and coaxed me to put my head in her lap.
“Sorry,” I said weakly. “You’ve got the food truck. And Ella.”
“Andrew has it covered. Sonya and Drew are helping him out.” She tried and failed not to smile at the thought of her husband with those two. But even their shenanigans couldn’t make me feel better. Her smile turned kind. “I’m glad you called.”
I shifted and closed my eyes as she stroked my hair. She knew everything about my past and had completely understood why that meaningless gesture had sent me into a tailspin when I spilled out what happened. I needed my best friend and was beyond grateful she’d come when I called, no questions asked.
“It was nothing,” I mumbled. “But last night . . . and he didn’t mean anything by it this morning.”
“Did you tell Holt?” Her fingers stilled for a moment.
Panic filled me at the thought of him ever knowing what I’d been a part of. It had been hard enough to tell her. “No. I can’t do that.”
She paused as if collecting her thoughts. “Take it from someone who tried to hide her truth. The longer you do, the worse off you are.”
“Just because he’s my roommate doesn’t make him entitled to my secrets.”
“You’re right. But I think we both know he’s more than that.”
I hugged my knees closer to my chest. “I’m scared.”
“Falling in love can be that way.”
I sat up straight, eyes bulging. “I’m not in love with Holt.”
“Not yet.”
I furrowed my brow and dropped my head back onto her lap. “I don’t deserve to be here. Those people . . . I see their faces. I don’t want to think about any of it, but it’s wrong for me to forget.”
I shuddered. The vision of their fear was so vivid. I tried to make them disappear now but they wouldn’t.
“You feel it’s your cross to carry.”
“It is. I didn’t do enough. I was so caught up. And Kyle. He’s in my head all the time.”
“He always will be,” she said apologetically. “But you have control over what you do with that.”
My therapist had tried to make me understand that concept. I knew what it meant but had failed to put it into practice. That was one reason for moving out of Paths. To get control over my life.
“I like to think that if I had it to do all over again, I never would. But I don’t know that. I got sucked in, was so weak.”
“You weren’t weak. He wasn’t right. It’s not your fault you didn’t know it.”
I’d been young and vulnerable when we met and had lied to my family about his age, not that they’d cared. The second I’d finished high school, I'd been on my own. Well, Kyle had been there.
“He loved me. Too much.” I fingered the comforter and stared at the wall. “It’s messed up that I still miss that.”
“He gave you a side of himself that you fell in love with.”
“He was controlling, but I didn’t mind. If I’d been stronger—”
“Don’t do that.”
Tears trickled down my cheeks, and I sniffled. “I can see it happening again. With Holt. It wouldn’t take much for him to become my whole world.”
Trish gently pulled on my shoulder until I sat up. Her eyes were serious as she looked at me. “You are strong. Your own woman. Look at how far you’ve come. What you’ve accomplished.”
“I got the internship because Hayden felt sorry for me.”
She frowned. “That’s not true.”
“Oh come on. At the shelter, we’re all charity cases.”
She recoiled as I lashed out. “Maybe,” she said hesitantly. “But I learned a long time ago that help is help. And sometimes we just need it in any form.”
I let my eyes fall closed for a brief second. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m just—”
“Upset,” she finished for me.
“Yeah.”
“In all the time I’ve known you, this is the first I’ve seen you any less than perfect.”
“I’m not perfect.”
“You make it look easy. Especially when I know it’s not.”
“I don’t know how to deal with it anymore.”
“One day, one step at a time.” She put her arm around my shoulders and squeezed. “I saw a mess out there on the table when I came in. I’ve got a little time to play test subject if you’re game.”
I gave her a wobbly smile. “Yeah. I’m definitely game.”
Chapter Eight
Holt
“Honey, I’m home.”
I balanced a pizza and a six pack of beer as I kicked the front door shut. The large living/dining/kitchen area was quiet, other than the low sound of “Only" by RY X in the background. Except the mess on the table had spread from the center space it occupied this morning to the entire surface. I smiled. Baker had been working hard today.
She emerged from the hallway wearing my T-shirt, a pair of sweatpants, and her hair piled up in that knot thing again. Something filled me at the sight of her in some of my clothes I recognized from the night before, but wasn’t entirely sure what it was.
I liked it.
“I brought dinner.” I lifted up the pizza box before I set it down next to the beer on the island.
She put a hand on her hip and cocked that pretty head to the side. “Maybe this roommate thing isn’t so bad.”
Her smile turned me inside out. Real. All for me.
She glided over to me and plucked a beer from the holder. I held the neck and opened it for her, flicking the cap on the counter.
“Thanks,” she said quietly.
“I’m gonna go change.” I unzipped a few inches of my coveralls, and
her lips parted. “I’m dirty, Easy. Really dirty. Want to help me clean up?”
A little noise of frustration escaped her. “Do you spend all day thinking of ways to get me in the shower with you again?”
“Yep.” I tossed her a wink and sauntered off toward the bathroom. No need to lie when the truth was much better.
* * *
“You’re spoiling me.” I set my beer on the coffee table and sank onto the sofa next to Baker. She already had the television show cued up, the pizza box and napkins in front of her.
“You’re killing me. This pizza smells so good, and I’ve had to wait on your slow self before I could start.”
She flipped open the top of the box and scooped a piece of pizza up. I was fascinated as she lifted the slice to her lips like I’d never seen anybody eat before. I’d never seen a mouth like hers, that was for sure.
“Aren’t you going to eat?”
“Yeah. Of course.”
I grabbed my own slice and devoured it in a few bites. Baker stared at me. “Hungry?”
“Starved.” I took a long swallow of beer and pointed the bottle toward the dining room table. “Looks like you’ve been busy. You find the perfect shade you were looking for?”
She angled her body toward me and tucked a leg up under her. “I don’t know. I think I’m close.”
Baker abandoned her pizza and scrambled off the sofa over to her work station. She hurried back with a small container of something red in her hands.
“What’s that?” I was afraid at the gleam in her eyes.
“You’re the perfect skin tone to see if this looks right.”
“I am?”
She laughed and if I didn’t watch it, I was going to become addicted to that sound. “Are you afraid of a little lip gloss?”
“Uh, maybe.”
She pried my beer from my fingers and set it on the table next to hers. A waft of her scent intoxicated me when she scooted closer.
“I bet you’ve fought off bears in Wyoming. This is nothing,” she taunted, swiping her finger into the red stuff. “Pucker up.”
“Can’t say no to that.”
She made a face at me. “Not what I meant.”
My response died on my tongue as she ran her finger across my bottom lip. Everything in me tightened to the point I had to ball my fists to keep from grabbing her hips. With slow, torturous movement, she repeated the motion on my top lip. Her eyes were trained on my mouth, her tongue peeking out of the corner of hers in concentration.
She couldn’t do that and expect me to be a gentleman. A smile spread across her lips and I was done for.
“Perfect.” The triumph on her face had me grinning back.
“I knew you’d get it right.”
She sat back, uncertain by my confidence. “You did?”
“Yep. Now what else do you need to test?”
Her brows shot up. “You’d let me put makeup on you?”
“Easy, I’m beginning to think there isn’t anything I wouldn’t let you do to me.” I reached for my beer, and she grabbed my arm.
“You’ll smudge your gloss.” Her lips twitched, and I tried to scowl, failing miserably.
“There’s plenty more there.” I took a swig. “You’d better name this after me. Since I made it look perfect and all.”
I stripped the container from her hands and dipped my finger into the well.
“I can’t name it Holt.”
“Sure you can. You made it, didn’t you?” I spread the color onto her lip, and she froze. “It does look perfect.” I cocked my head and smacked my lips together. “What’s in this? It has a hint of something . . .”
“Honey.” She blushed the same shade as her lip gloss. “I wanted it to feel good and taste good.”
“For the person wearing it?” I dropped the container of gloss on the table and leaned closer. “Or the person kissing her?”
“Both,” she whispered as I inched toward her, our mouths only a few breaths apart.
“We’re gonna have to test that part out.”
“We are?” She scooted back a little, and I followed.
“Uh-huh. I’m a very dedicated tester,” I said huskily.
“I didn’t know you’d been a tester before,” she huffed. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she was jealous.
“This is my first time. I want to get it perfect.” I ran my thumb across her mouth. Heat flared in her eyes. “What else do you need to try out?”
“This.” She darted from the sofa back over to the table. Relief practically poured from her.
“Should I be offended you were that happy to escape my kiss?”
Something in her hands clattered to the table. She met my gaze. “Probably.”
I stifled a grin at how quickly she composed herself. “You won’t evade it forever.”
A blush crept up her neck. “We’ll see.”
It was my turn to be surprised. She hadn’t shot me down. That was a start.
Hands full of I didn’t know what, she piled it on the sofa in front of me and sat back down.
“I can’t believe you’re letting me do this,” she said as she brushed something on my cheeks.
“I can’t believe you make all of this.”
“It’s not hard.”
I shrugged. “Still impressive. Have you shown anyone at the office yet?” She shook her head. “Why not?”
“I don’t know.” She scoured through the pile until she found what she wanted. “We work with the best of the best products.”
“Isn’t that what you’ve got here?”
“I want it to be.”
“Then that’s what you’ll do.” I touched her thigh, and she stared at me. “You can’t make the stuff fast enough for the ladies at Paths.”
“They’re just being nice.”
I gripped her chin, forcing her to look at me. “Being nice is trying something once. They’re all clamoring for your stuff.”
“Who told you that?”
I winked. “I’ve got inside sources.” I lifted my chin and turned my head from left to right. “Now what do you think?”
“I think you make an excellent guinea pig.”
* * *
Baker’s eyelids drooped where she was curled up on the opposite end of the sofa.
“Ready to call it a night?”
She yawned and stretched. “I think so.”
I nudged her in the ribs. “See. Roommate night wasn’t so terrible after all.”
“I guess not.”
I stood and held out my hands to her. She took them, and a spark shot up my arms as I pulled her to her feet. I couldn’t force myself to immediately release her. She seemed frozen as she peered up at me.
Heat crackled between us. I was desperate to pull her closer, but uncertain where the lines were that we weren’t supposed to cross. She’d said maybe we didn’t need boundaries, but I doubted she meant what I had in mind.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” The words were out of my mouth before I thought them through. She looked as surprised as I felt.
“I don’t have any plans.”
“Now you do.”
Lines creased her forehead. “What are they?”
“All you need to know is they end up at Dino’s for Sunday dinner with my family.”
A fondness etched her features. “I like your Dad and your sister.”
I pouted. “What about me?”
“Not really.” Pure mischief taunted me. “Don’t you care what I think about your brother?”
“I kinda hope you don’t like him. That way I don’t have to be jealous.”
“You do realize he’s with my best friend?”
“Doesn’t always mean anything,” I said, too cutting.
She saw too much as she looked at me, her hands squeezing mine back. “It does to me.”
I forced a smile. “Big day tomorrow. We’d better get to bed.”
She opened her mouth as if she wanted to protest, instead led
me toward our bedrooms. At our doors opposite one another she hesitated.
“You never have to ask, Baker.”
She swallowed hard, kept my hand in hers as she pulled me into her bathroom. We washed our faces and brushed our teeth. Somehow doing this normal, everyday thing together made me nervous.
She took my hand again and guided us into my room. My heart thudded when she crawled into my bed like she belonged there. Everything inside of me screamed that she did.
She watched me as I rounded the foot of the bed, shedding my T-shirt as I did. I climbed in beside her and stretched out my arm in invitation. The second she nestled against me, a peace settled in my soul.
“You’re spoiling me, Easy,” I said when her breathing evened out.
Although, I was sure I heard mumbled, “No. It’s you spoiling me.”
It had been eight months since I’d had someone else beside me. Someone I thought I’d spend—no, I wasn’t going there. I seemed destined to be on my own. Hell, maybe I didn’t deserve a woman like Baker.
And that would be a dangerous thing to forget.
Chapter Nine
Holt
“What is this place?”
Baker turned in a circle, looking around the dilapidated space with curious eyes.
I shoved my hands into my pockets and kicked at some of the dirt on the floor. “I was thinking of starting my own garage.”
Light clicked as she flicked her gaze toward the roll-up door and back around the space. “Looks like this would be a good place to do it.”
“I can lease to own the whole building. There’s an apartment upstairs. A loft with plenty of room for you to set up shop for making your cosmetics.” I realized the implication of my words as soon as I said them. That whatever future I had, I imagined Baker in it. But how? How did I get to this point with a woman I'd only known a little over three months? And why had I said that out loud?
Her lips parted, an expression somewhere on the spectrum between surprised and horrified flitted across her face. I dug my hands into my pockets, despite that there was nowhere else for them to go. I hadn’t expected her to jump for joy, but I didn’t think she’d look at me like it was the worst idea she’d ever heard.
Trust Me: A Roommates To Lovers Romance Novel (Free Book 2) Page 5
