“The day clogs my head with enough noise as it is.” The truth of that was startling, though I was getting better.
He handed me his mug and filled another. “You look pretty.”
“You can’t say that every day.”
“I can if it’s true.”
“I thought you were going to be late.” I perched against the island opposite him.
“Have time for lunch today?” He looked down. “Never mind. Where could we go that’s acceptable for me to look like this and you like that?”
“I’d love to,” I said, waiting for him to meet my gaze. “Can I text you? I have a meeting at ten and I’m not sure how long it will last.”
He gave me a sweet smile. “Sounds like a plan.”
“If you get hungry, don’t wait for me.”
“I’ll take a snack.” He picked up an apple and tossed it in the air.
“Don’t forget your nuts.” I motioned toward the baggies I’d separated out for us to grab and go.
He set down his coffee and grabbed my hips. “I’m nuts?”
“No, silly. The nuts behind you. The ones you eat.” I canted my head. “You might be a little of that kind of nuts too.”
“I can’t believe it.” He swooped down and captured my mouth. “I’ll wait. Even if you get home late.”
“Okay.” I slid my hands up his chest. “Walk me out?”
“And have a pretty lady on my arm? Hell, yes.”
* * *
“The man who was here the other day wouldn’t have anything to do with that bright face, would he?” Hayden gave me a surreptitious smile as I exited the elevator.
I looked down. “Um, yeah.”
We’d parted ways almost a half hour ago, yet I was still giddy just thinking about him. Today of all days and he’d managed to distract me.
“I need to find a roommate like him.” She held open the door for me. “Shadow me this morning. Executives from a cruelty-free product brand will be here soon. They might have something of use for your products.”
“Sure. Let me drop my bag off at my desk.”
“I’m thinking about doing a new feature. One that includes women who are trying and succeeding to do what you do. To do what I’ve done. Something relatable and encouraging. An ‘if I can do it you can too’ message. What do you think?” She stopped walking.
“It could work. Maybe we could test a feature online first to see the response before we put it in the magazine.” I clutched my purse. “Our readers are the type who would like this. They come to us for recommendations, to find out what’s hot. Why wouldn’t they want stories of inspiration?”
She pointed her finger at me. “Yes. I love the idea of putting it on the website first. We have a different kind of reader there, but we won’t find a better test market.”
“How will we find these women? A submission form?”
“I thought we’d start with you.”
“Me?” A knot formed in my throat. “But I’m nobody. Just getting started.”
“This would be a boost.”
I put my hand to my neck. “I appreciate the thought, but I’m not the right person.”
“It doesn’t have to be personal.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t do it.”
I rushed to my cubicle and dumped my bag in my desk. I dabbed my damp eyes with a tissue. No way could I expose myself like that. It was just the opportunity I needed if I wanted to take the makeup line to the next level, but it was one I couldn’t take. Hayden didn’t know the damage it could cause to her magazine. Her brand.
“Baker.” A gentle hand touched my shoulder. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
At the look of worry on her face, I pulled myself together and turned around. “Exposure like that wouldn’t be great for me.”
Understanding flashed across her features, though no one could truly comprehend how it felt. I was trying to move forward while being held back by the past.
Shoving down my disappointment, I tried to brighten. “Trish might be a better candidate.”
Hayden nodded, though her concern was evident. “Maybe so.” When she looked at me, I was so grateful to have her as a mentor and a friend. “Baker, don’t shut the door on everything. Right now may not be the time, but things could be different down the road.”
I doubted it, but appreciated her sentiment. “I’ll try.”
She gave me a satisfied look. “Let’s get ready for our guests.”
* * *
Halfway to her office, Tracey, the receptionist, caught up. “I’m sorry to interrupt, Hayden, but there’s a delivery here for Baker.”
Me? I hadn’t ordered anything.
“Meet me in my office,” Hayden said before she hustled off.
I was nauseous by the time we reached the front desk. A spray of wildflowers in a glass vase sat atop.
“Those are for you.”
“They are?”
I approached the flowers with caution, like they were a trick of some sort. A card was nestled in the bouquet. Tentatively, I reached for it.
We agreed to lunch, but I was hoping we could have dinner too.
Holt. When had he had time to do this?
Balancing the vase in one hand, I pressed my phone to my ear.
“Easy.”
“They’re beautiful. Thank you.”
“Does that mean we’re on?”
“We’re on. But lunch might be off.”
“Oh?” His disappointment tugged on my heart.
“Hayden wants me to shadow her this morning, which means it could turn into all day.”
“We can do it tomorrow then.”
“No,” I said quickly. “I mean, I want to try today, but—”
“You’re a busy woman. Just let me know.”
“The flowers. They made my day.” I set them on my desk and admired the bright colors. Usually, I’d be in bed on this day, reliving the pain. Holt had made it easier to bear and didn’t even know it.
“I’m glad. I’ll either see you at lunch or see you at home.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Holt
Can you do 2?
The text turned around my sour mood in an instant. It was after noon. I’d already resigned myself to the fact we wouldn’t get to do lunch. Now that it was on, I whistled as I changed the battery on a Ford Taurus.
I’d spent the night with Baker—I spent every night with her. Shared coffee this morning, walked her to the train. It still wasn’t enough. I wanted lunch with her and had no logical reason why. Although if I was honest with myself, it did make sense. Baker had shown more loyalty and genuine concern for me than I’d ever experienced before outside my family. Even Celia hadn’t ever connected with me so instinctively. I never let her see the real me, but I’d loved her superficially. And she allowed that. Whereas Baker demanded more of me, and gave more to me as well.
Meet me at the new garage. I’ll bring the food.
That earned me a thumbs up emoji followed by a big smiley face. I checked the time again. Only three minutes had passed. Ninety more to go.
* * *
“Holt?”
Baker’s voice echoed through the empty space.
“Up here.” I leaned over the loft railing. “I’m coming down.”
I thundered down the stairs, hustling until I reached her.
“What were you doing?”
I lifted her onto the reception desk, placing her on my jacket.
“Forgot there are no chairs.” I offered her a taco.
She scooted over, and I perched beside her.
“What are we doing here?”
“It’s a quiet place to eat.” I popped a nacho in my mouth.
“And . . .”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure I can do this.”
She set her half-eaten taco on the wrapper in her lap. “What? The garage?”
“Yeah. I bought this place on an impulse. Which was stupid. I don’t know if I can get any business, let al
one run it.”
“I’m not sure it was an impulse.”
I offered her a nacho. “I can afford it. That’s not the problem.”
“Then what is?” She licked a string of cheese from her finger.
“I don’t know shit about running a business.”
“Lots of people don’t when they start one.” She touched my arm. “Word is you’re a pretty good mechanic.”
“I can fix the hell out of a car. Or food truck.” I smirked, and she wiped a crumb from the corner of my mouth. “But I don’t know how to do bookkeeping or about tax laws.”
“Hire an accountant.”
I shifted, angling my legs toward her. “Did I ever tell you how I got into fixing up cars?”
“You loved them?”
“I am a sucker for old ones. But I like figuring out how things work. I was the kid who took apart the VCR.”
“What’s that?” She grinned, and I chucked her chin.
“My point is I’d be that way with accounting or whatever else it is. It’s hard for me to hand that stuff over to someone else. I want to know how to do it myself.”
“Talk to Vivian. She’s an accountant. She could teach you the basics.” Our neighbors had been more than willing to help us out. I hated to ask for something from anyone, especially when they were already so generous with the rent. But Baker was right. It wouldn’t hurt to talk to her.
“What if I get sidetracked? I’m always chasing shiny balls.”
“If that were true, wouldn’t you have had a million jobs? All you’ve ever been is a park ranger and mechanic, right?”
“I was in college for six years because I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do.”
“I didn’t even finish.” She reached into the bag for another taco, but refused to look at me.
“It’s not for everyone.”
“But it was for me,” she said, her voice rising.
“Go back now.”
“How? In case you hadn’t noticed, we have no rent or bills. If we did, I couldn’t afford them.”
“They don’t pay you at the magazine?”
“They pay me, but I don’t have anything. I was at the shelter almost three years.” She snapped her mouth shut as if realizing she’d given away something she didn’t want to.
“And before then?”
“I had nothing. I have nothing. Moneywise anyway.”
“Why didn’t you finish school?”
She was silent so long, I didn’t think she’d answer. Her hands fisted a paper wrapper until she finally tossed it in the bag.
“When my boyfriend found out I’d been going behind his back, he made me quit.” My mouth dropped open. “Yeah, I know. It should have been a clue to get away from him.”
“Not necessarily,” I said, choosing my words carefully. “It’s always easier to see our mistakes after the fact.”
“Some we should see coming.”
“What did you want to study?”
“Chemistry.”
I perked up. “That’s why you like concocting your makeup.”
“I-I never thought of it, but I guess so.” She swung her legs and her heels banged against the desk.
“Ever think about going back?” I tossed the idea out there casually when I was anything but indifferent.
“Not really.” She stared at her swinging legs. “So why a park ranger?”
“I worked on a ranger’s truck while I was in school. We got to talking about it. I needed to decide on a major or I’d be on a seven-year plan. It sounded interesting and turns out it was.”
“That’s it?”
“Not the glamorous story you hoped for?” I nudged her shoulder with mine.
“I pictured a hike to a top of a mountain and inspiration struck.”
I held my arms out wide and looked to the ceiling. “Aah,” I sang.
Her laughter bounced off the walls. “That’s more like it.”
I offered her another taco. “Might be a while until dinner.”
She accepted and peeled back the wrapper. “Do you miss it?”
“The park? Yeah. But I couldn’t stay.” All at once, the food wasn’t so appealing.
“Because of him?”
Just the mere mention of Cameron hurt to the point it nearly crippled me. “Partly.”
“And the woman who called? She’s the other reason?”
Stop running. Tell her the truth. But I could barely admit it to myself.
It’s too risky. Baker was different. Which made opening up even scarier.
“Yeah.” I shoved my trash into a paper bag. Admitting that didn’t make me feel one ounce better. I held out my hand for her empty wrapper. She looked as if she wanted to say something but didn’t immediately. I wasn't sure if I was relieved or disappointed.
“Are you okay?”
I jolted at the question she finally settled on. There was no demand of who Celia was to me or what happened. What mattered to Baker was how I felt. I leaned forward and kissed her lips softly, thankful again she was in my life.
“I’m not sure. But I’m working through it.” If swinging between throbbing anger and unbearable pain could be counted as such.
She nodded. “That’s all we can do.” She touched my cheek. “I’m not completely sure I want to hear all the details, but if you need to talk about it, I’m here.”
Knowing that made me feel better. “Thanks. I’m not sure I’m ready to relive it yet. But I’m glad to know you’ll be listening when I can.” I slid to my feet. “I hate to cut this short, but I gotta get back to the shop. Mind locking up?” I took the key off my keyring and pressed it into her palm.
“Hang on. I’ll leave with you.” She scrambled off the desk and collected her bag. “Oh. Your jacket.”
She held it out to me.
“Thanks.” I shrugged it on and grabbed our trash.
She slid her hand into mine and everything clicked into place.
I wanted more.
More of her body. More of her light. More of her soul.
Her heels clicked on the concrete as we moved toward the door.
I hesitated before I turned the doorknob. "It's a two-way street. If you need to talk, I mean.”
She went rigid for a moment, as if the idea was hard to handle. Then she relaxed and squeezed my hand. “I appreciate that.”
I held open the door and followed her through. Maybe we hadn’t gotten anything out in the open, but I was confident if I needed to talk, she’d be there.
As I locked up, her mouth grazed my ear. “Same place tomorrow?”
Chapter Thirty
Baker
I lingered at the office as long as I could get away with.
I didn’t want to go home to an empty house, and Holt had already texted he was going to be late.
The silence was a comfortable one when I pushed into the apartment, but still too much for me to bear. I put on “I Feel Like I’m Drowning” by Two Feet and collapsed on the sofa.
My mind had been at war all afternoon between Holt and Kyle. One or the other had demanded my attention. A ghost and the man who was slowly but surely mending my broken pieces.
A soft rap on the door jolted me to my feet. The neighbors had a tendency to drop by whenever they felt like it, something I was still getting used to.
I checked the peephole before I opened the door.
“Mrs. Quinn.” I gave her a quick hug and stepped aside. “What brings you by?”
She held up a box of tea. “I miss seeing you every day.”
I welcomed her inside, and we caught up on the latest at Paths as I heated water and searched for cups.
Full cups in hand, we settled on the sofa. “Somehow, I don’t think that’s the only reason you’re here.”
“Thought you might like some company. Especially today.”
I choked on a sip of tea. Of course, she wouldn’t forget.
“I’m good,” I said once I found my voice. “Better than usual, I guess.” And
that bothered me. Did it mean I was forgetting? Or that I’d become numb to what happened?
Mrs. Quinn nodded once and hid behind her cup. “I didn’t come by so we could talk about it. You’ve relived what happened enough.”
“It’s getting easier and harder,” I confessed. “I’m finding my place. Have more good days than bad. And I don’t deserve it.”
She touched my leg. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
I stiffened. “How can you say that? I-I don’t want to talk about this.”
“We don’t have to.” She glanced away, fiddling with the handle on her tea cup. “Have you seen the news today?”
“No. I’ve intentionally avoided it.”
“Someone leaked that he didn’t act alone.”
I bolted to my feet. “What do you mean?”
“I’m afraid they’re going to dig. The reporter claims it was a woman—”
“They promised to protect me,” I shouted.
“Everything okay?”
The front door clicked shut behind Holt, who looked between Mrs. Quinn and me.
She smoothed a polite smile on her face. “Hello, Holt. I hope you don’t mind I dropped by for a cup of tea with Baker. I find Paths to be a bit lonely without her.”
“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you can’t have her back.” He strode straight over to me and kissed me.
Motor oil and Holt only marginally settled me.
“I’m glad to hear it.”
“Is this a ladies-only conversation or can I join you once I change clothes?”
Mrs. Quinn held up her near empty cup and stood. “I need to be on my way.”
“Hot date with an old man?” Holt winked at her.
“Something like that.”
“I’m glad.” He turned to me and said, “I’ll shower and then we’ll have dinner, okay?”
“Sounds good.”
After another kiss to my forehead, he headed toward the bathroom, and the sound of the shower started not long after Holt disappeared. Mrs. Quinn’s expression turned serious.
Trust Me: A Roommates To Lovers Romance Novel (Free Book 2) Page 16
