“I’d like to speak with Daniel Elliott about this. He would be the person to help us keep it quiet.”
“How is this happening?” My heart pounded as panic threatened to overtake me.
“I don’t know.” She touched my shoulder. “Don’t forget I’m here. We’ll get through it, whatever may happen.”
“Do you think they know my name?”
“If they do, they didn’t mention it. I’ve searched every article I could find and there’s nothing.”
My eyes stung. “It will never be over, will it?”
“No,” she said, her expression solemn. “I’ll let you know what Daniel says.”
I nodded and she folded me in her arms.
“I thought I could disappear,” I whispered.
“You don’t have to. You’ve got people here who love you. Don’t forget that.”
* * *
I huddled on the sofa, the tea cup in my hand trembling as I brought it to my lips.
“I didn’t mean to run her off.” Holt sank down next to me and took a long slog of water. “Why haven’t you changed?”
“I haven’t been home long. Mrs. Quinn dropped by and . . .” I swallowed past the lump in my throat.
“You’re shaking.” He set his water down and took my cup from my hands.
He opened his arms, his fingers flexing like he wanted to reach for me. But he gave me the choice. I crawled across the sofa and burrowed into him.
“I’ve got you.”
I clutched his sides, fisting his T-shirt. All I wanted to do was weep. For the people who’d suffered. For the girl I’d been. For the boy who’d been so lost.
Holt stroked my hair and feathered kisses along the top of my head. “Want to talk about it?”
I shook my head, though I suspected he probably already knew the answer to that.
“This isn’t about me? This afternoon?”
I sat up and furrowed my brow. “No,” I said hoarsely as I searched his face.
He relaxed into the sofa. “Do you want to do this thing, Easy? For real?”
I pressed my palms into his thighs and stared at him. “Kinda feels like we already are.”
He brushed my hair back from my face. “I know what I said. That I can’t.” He looked down. “I don’t know if I’m capable of full trust. But you make me want to try.”
My heart stopped. We'd been doing this dance around commitment, and that he wanted to make a go at a relationship was thrilling and terrifying at once.
“I don’t want the past to get in the way. Can we pretend like neither of ours ever happened?”
His lips twitched. “Another reason why we’re perfect for each other.”
I snuggled back into him. “I’ve been thinking about the garage. About your offer.”
“Yeah?”
I played with the hem of his T-shirt. “I want to take you up on it.”
He grasped my arms and pulled me so he could look at me. “You do?”
I nodded. “Let’s get the garage running first. We can clean up the upstairs space after. Then think about remodeling or whatever.”
“What changed your mind?”
“I’m not sure it changed really, but after my meeting today, watching everyone work together and how inspired they were to be pursuing their passions, I realized I could have that too. I mean, I do at the magazine,” I quickly corrected. “But I could have more.”
He gazed down at me, his face lit with happiness. And knowing he wanted us to do this together excited me even more.
He flashed a cocky smirk. “You want more lunch dates.”
I grinned. “I definitely want more lunch dates.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Holt
“Hey. It’s me. Please call me back. I need to talk to you.”
Four days in a row Celia had called. Today was the first message.
My finger hovered over Block Number, but I couldn’t go through with it. Instead, I darkened the screen and dropped my phone back in my pocket.
“Sorry I’m late.” Dad’s face was flushed as he shrugged off his coat.
“Mrs. Quinn wasn’t too keen to say goodbye?”
He cleared his throat and took a seat. “Not really.”
I handed him a soda. “Your other son hasn’t made it yet, either.”
He glanced to the scoreboard hanging above the ice rink. “Still five minutes until puck drop.”
I tossed a piece of popcorn in my mouth. “We could’ve asked the ladies to come.”
“Next time.” He scooped a handful of popcorn out of the bucket. “Feels like we never hang out anymore. Just the guys.”
“Because neither you nor Andrew are as interesting as they are.”
Dad smirked before he pointed at me. “Oh, before I forget. A Rob called me on the way here. He said he was your landlord back in Wyoming.”
Rob? Why would he call Dad? Unease slithered through me. “What did he want?”
“Said he’d been trying to reach you, and I was your emergency contact on the lease. Your rent is due.” Dad sipped his drink as if indifferent, but I felt his tension. “He also wanted to know what to do with your things if you weren’t coming back.”
I sagged and rested my head on the back of the chair. “I’ll call him.”
Had I been in New York four months? That was how long was left on my lease when I took off. The thought never occurred to me I might not go back. Now, I couldn’t imagine it.
“What are you going to tell him?” Dad’s tone was cautious.
“To go ahead and rent it out. I’ll figure out what to do with the stuff.”
He exhaled in relief. “Want me to go with you to pick it up?”
I took a pull off my soda. “Me and you? A cross-country trip?”
“Might be fun.” He shrugged. “Or you could take Baker.”
“Sorry I’m late.” Andrew waded through the aisle and dropped down in the seat next to Dad.
“I’ve already heard that once tonight,” I said with a wry look up at the ceiling.
“One minute to spare.” I passed him a soda, and he accepted. “Thanks.”
“How’s Ella and Trish?”
He lit up. “Keeping my life interesting.”
Dad snorted. “I bet.”
The arena darkened and the team skated out to flashing lights and smoke. We got to our feet, hooting and whistling with the rest of the crowd.
* * *
“Holt’s going to get his things from Wyoming,” Dad said once the puck had dropped and the noise died down.
“I didn’t say that.”
“Don’t you think Baker should go with him?” Dad asked my brother. Great. Now the whole family would be in on my decision.
Andrew scooped popcorn from the bucket. “Not if he wants to stay with her. They already live together. A car trip could be the kiss of death.”
A knowing smile graced Dad’s features. “Your mother and I drove to Virginia once. A spur of the moment getaway. I wasn’t sure who was going to file for divorce first when we got back. Me or her.”
Andrew and I exchanged a look. Dad didn’t talk about her, let alone when they were together.
“Ended up being one of the best trips we ever took. Once she stopped telling me how to drive, problem solved,” he continued while my brother and I stared. “I can talk about her. I just don’t like to.”
“It wasn’t that long ago I mentioned I’d run into her and you took off.” Andrew pointed his cup at him.
“I’m trying,” Dad conceded.
“What’s the weather like out there this time of year?” Andrew leaned forward and cursed when our goalie let the puck get past him for a score.
“Pretty nice most of the time. Cooler than here. Maybe an early snow. I haven’t checked.”
“Think there’s a good spot for a wedding?”
I coughed and spluttered soda down my shirt. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. “Yeah. What are you getting at?”
“I’m re
ady to get married. I think Trish is. Maybe we could make this trip out west a family affair.”
“You’re shitting me. Seven adults and two toddlers? In one vehicle? Count me out.” I spread my legs and rested my drink on my knee.
“No way in hell. We’d fly.” Andrew looked at me like I was nuts. “I want to marry Trish. Not drive her away. We’re barely surviving Sunday dinners.”
“Those causing problems between you two?” I’d been the center of those fights and the thought of that overflowing into their relationship made my stomach turn.
Andrew waved his hand in front of his face. “No. No. She doesn’t like that we aren’t all getting along, but we aren’t arguing over it.”
“Good.”
“When do you have to have your things out of your place?” He tossed a piece of popcorn into his mouth.
“I haven’t talked to Rob yet.”
“Let me know when you think you’re going. I’ll talk to Trish. See if she wants to get married out there.”
“I need to know too. I’m sure Audrey will want to be there.”
I scrubbed my hand across my forehead. “Yeah, sure.”
“Think Baker will be down?”
I wasn’t even sure if I was. This whole thing had spun out of control in the span of a few minutes.
“What about Marlow?”
“I thought you worked things out,” Dad said, eyeing me suspiciously.
“Uh, well . . .” I looked to Andrew for help, but he hid behind his drink. “Things got ugly after you left. She said some things, and I’m not anywhere close to over it.”
Dad gasped. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because you and Mrs. Quinn are figuring things out. This is the first time in weeks you’ve seemed like yourself. No need to bring you down over something you can’t do anything about.” I polished off my drink. “Anybody need a refill?”
I stood and stepped my way over legs and feet to the main aisle. I jogged up the steps and once I reached the concession stand, the line wasn’t near long enough to my liking.
I loved my family, that we were close. But sometimes it felt like I was suffocating. All I’d wanted was to belong, but I guessed that meant at my own standards. I appreciated their perspective, but there was no chance in hell I would let Baker set foot in Wyoming.
I had to figure out how to put the brakes on this plan. Pronto.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Baker
“It took us long enough to get together, right?”
Trish pushed and pulled Ella’s stroller with her foot while we lazed on a park bench.
“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever,” I said, relieved to finally have a moment with my best friend. Work at the magazine had been crazier than usual. One of the public figures we were supposed to profile had been in a motorcycle accident and wanted to push back her feature. We’d been scrambling to rearrange. And . . . I’d been spending every spare moment with Holt.
A little jolt went through me at the thought of him. We’d spent lots of late nights making plans about the shop. I’d let myself think a lot about the future lately instead of dwelling on the past.
It still scared me, but excited me too.
“We can’t let a week go by again without talking,” Trish said solemnly. “I honestly don’t know where the time goes. Only that it’s been a whirlwind.”
I held out my pinky like the kid I wasn’t, and she met mine with her own. We hooked fingers. “Pinky swear.”
“Pinky swear.” We grinned at each other. “I have news that was too important to share on the phone or in a text.”
She paused pushing Ella. “Andrew and I are getting married.”
“That’s terrific.” I automatically glanced at her left ring finger, genuinely excited for her, but prayed my voice didn’t betray the unbalanced way I felt. This is great news. Trish deserves this.
“No.” She laughed. “No ring yet. That will happen. We were going to wait, but the time is right. Ella and I belong with Andrew.” A wistful expression shaped her pretty features. She reached for my hands. “I want you to be my maid of honor.”
“You do?” I’d never been close enough to anyone to be asked something like that. It meant so much.
She nodded. “Of course I do. I can’t get married without you by my side.”
A few minutes ago I'd felt that tickle of being unwanted and now the pendulum had swung to the other side . . . a side I liked much better.
“I’d love to be your maid of honor.” I twisted to face her. “When’s the big day?”
“Next weekend. In Wyoming. Unless you can’t make it,” she said quickly. “Then we’ll wait.”
“Wow. That’s fast.” She was moving forward with her life and deserved all the joy that had seemed impossible not so long ago. But Trish had always had a light, a positive attitude I admired, even if I struggled to do the same. “I’ll figure it out,” I promised. And I would find a way to be at the wedding, no matter what. Alarm bells went off in my head. “Wait. Wyoming?”
“Holt needs to get the rest of his things, so when he said he was going to Wyoming, Andrew thought it would be a great place to get married.”
I swallowed hard. In all the times Holt had opened his mouth lately, not one word of any of this had come out. Maybe he didn’t want to spoil the surprise of Trish telling me herself. “Yeah? When did this come up?”
She fidgeted with the hem of her sweater. “Last week. At the hockey game.”
Hurt filled the crevices in my heart. It was an old pain mingling with the fresh wound. My family had intentionally excluded me from their lives and it was something I hadn’t gotten over. This felt like that all over again.
* * *
I stuck the key in the lock, but it wouldn't turn no matter how I jiggled. I checked to make sure I had the right key and tried again. It wouldn't budge.
I rang the doorbell. No one came. My parents wouldn’t be home in the afternoon anyway.
As I pulled out my phone to call my mother, I noticed through the front windows that the living room was empty. I shimmied through the shrubs and peered through the glass.
Everything was gone.
* * *
My parents had moved without telling me. That was the high school graduation gift I received.
It still hurt to think about that gut punch.
I cleared my throat. “He didn’t say anything.”
She touched my knee. “Is there a chance he didn’t because you hadn’t mentioned the wedding and he didn’t want to spoil the news?”
I lifted a shoulder to my ear. “Maybe?” But deep down, I didn’t believe that. We were both working through our trust issues. “Going back to get his things is a big deal, like he’s really serious about being here.”
“You doubted that he was? What about the building he bought?” Trish stared at me with concerned eyes.
“I guess part of me thinks whatever it is that's happening with us is too good to be true. It started out as something fun, casual. Now? It feels like it became something more with hardly any effort. At least I thought it was.” The words tumbled out as my emotions spiraled.
“He wouldn’t have offered you the space to work on your products if he didn’t see something long term.”
“But it could be friendship. Or just sex,” I protested, my voice rising. A jogger passing by did a double take, but I ignored her. “I’m leaning toward just sex. Otherwise why wouldn’t he tell me he was going to Wyoming to get the rest of his things?”
She looked at me, uncertain. “All I know is Andrew worries about him. I’m not sure what happened to Holt, only that he doesn’t talk about it much.”
I snorted. “Trust me. That I do know.” I rubbed my temples. “I don't want to talk about my past any more than he wants to discuss his. And that’s okay for now. But purposely excluding me? When I thought we were taking baby steps forward? It hurts.”
I dropped my chin to my chest. Trish rubbed m
y back. “Do you want to know about the past?”
I didn’t answer for a long time. Yes. No. I wasn’t sure. “Part of me is afraid to find out. There’s obviously a woman involved and I really don't like thinking about that.”
Kyle had never looked at anyone else. I’d been the center of his universe and hadn’t experienced a lot of jealousy. I didn’t much care for the foreign feeling, but it was definitely there when I thought about Holt sharing a life with someone else.
“And part of you is afraid one day you’ll have to tell him about yours,” Trish said. I loved her for her honesty, but sometimes I wanted to avoid the truth. The truth is too horrific to discuss.
“That’s true. I thought this would be simple. But my feelings got involved when I didn’t mean for them to.”
She gave me a knowing smile. “They have a way of doing that when we least expect it.”
Ella let out a shriek of agreement.
“She's already wise, isn't she?” I placed her plastic key ring back on her stomach.
“She is.” Trish beamed at her daughter before she turned to me. “Opening up takes two. You can’t ask Holt to do something you aren’t willing to do.”
It was the constant ripping open of old wounds that made thinking clearly hard sometimes. “I know.”
“We should head to Dino’s if we don’t want to be late.”
We stood, and she threw her arms around me.
I hugged her in return. “Thank you for talking. For asking me to be your maid of honor. I’m so excited.” I practically squealed, beyond pleased for her.
She pulled back and grinned. “This means so much to me.”
I sniffled. “Me too.”
* * *
“You know what?” I grabbed Trish’s arm as she pulled on the door handle of Dino’s. “I’m not ready to see him yet. I need a minute to process.”
She looked proud of me for facing my feelings and hugged me hard. “If you need me, I’m here.”
“I know.” I vowed to myself to be a better friend and not let our lives get in the way of talking like they had lately. I needed her.
Trust Me: A Roommates To Lovers Romance Novel (Free Book 2) Page 17
