by Jan Drexler
Bethany took Mari’s bowl and stirred the oatmeal. “We don’t have any bacon or hotcakes, but I can warm up your cereal for you.”
As Andrew watched, ignored by both of them, Bethany took some hot water from the kettle on the stove and stirred it into the pasty oats until the cereal was warm and smooth. Then she reached into her basket and took out a package of raisins, putting a few in the cereal.
“What’s that?” Mari asked as Bethany set the bowl in front of her again and helped her sit down.
“Raisins help make the oatmeal sweet. I thought you would like them.” Bethany took a jar of cream from her basket and poured some over the cereal. “There. Now try it.”
Mari took a small bite, then nodded her head as she dug her spoon in for another bite.
“Did you bring your whole kitchen over in that basket?” Andrew couldn’t keep from smiling as he watched Mari eat.
“Ne, but I brought some things I knew you wouldn’t have been able to get yet.” She took more items out and set them on the table as she named them. “Butter, eggs, some potatoes and a slice of ham for your dinner.”
Mari’s eyes brightened when she saw the ham.
“I appreciate it. But you don’t need to take care of us.”
She didn’t meet his gaze. “Just think of it as neighbor helping neighbor. I have my own work to do, but before I go I’ll put a potato casserole in the oven.” She took a paring knife out of her basket and started peeling the potatoes while Mari finished her cereal.
Andrew sat next to her at the table. “You said you had some dresses left from your mother. Dave mentioned her passing in one of his letters.”
Bethany nodded. “A few years ago. It sounds like it might have been around the same time as your daed.”
“So, you take care of the house for the family? Your daed and your brothers?”
“It isn’t hard, just busy.”
“Too busy to keep company with anyone?”
She shrugged, keeping her attention on the potatoes. “There’s really no one to keep company with. The fellows our age are married.”
Andrew grinned. Actually grinned. Talking with Bethany had always been easy. “So, no one has his eye on you?”
She blushed. “Only Hiram Plank.”
She pressed her lips together in a tight line. He could have some fun with her now. He picked up a raisin and dropped it in his mouth as he planned his attack.
“Hiram would make a good husband for anyone.”
“Not for me.” Her face grew even redder. He had hit his target.
“I don’t know. He’s mature, experienced, has his own farm.”
He popped another raisin in his mouth as she slammed the knife handle on the table and faced him.
“He’s fifty years old if he’s a day, and—” Bethany broke off and glanced at Mari, who was watching them with interest. “And he...has a distinct aroma.” She wrinkled her nose.
Andrew stifled a laugh, then he couldn’t hold it back any longer. “Then he isn’t improving with age?”
Bethany glared at him, picked up the knife and the potatoes and took them to the sink to finish peeling them. Andrew kept laughing as he cleaned up Mari’s hands and put her new dress and apron on. A chuckle or two slipped out as he ran a comb through Mari’s curls.
“I need to work in the barn today,” he said, talking mostly to Mari, but knowing that Bethany was listening to every word. “You can come with me, but you must obey me, and not wander off.”
“She can spend the day with me today, if you like,” Bethany said, her back still turned toward him. “I’m going to be planting the garden and she can help.”
The laughter gone, Andrew stared at Bethany. Could he impose on her this way? But then, the barn could be dangerous for a little girl. He hadn’t looked inside yesterday, but he could imagine the dirt and vermin that filled the place since Daed had closed those doors four years ago. He wouldn’t get much work done if he had to watch Mari the whole day.
“Are you sure?”
Bethany turned to him with a soft look on her face that he couldn’t interpret. “For sure. We’ll have a good time together. I spend every day taking care of my brothers and my daed, so Mari will be a wonderful-gut change.” She smiled. “A breath of fresh air.” She started slicing the potatoes. “I’ll take her to our house after I put your dinner in the oven, and you can come to get her when you’ve finished your work.”
Andrew found himself agreeing. After all, he knew Bethany better than he knew anyone else, and he could trust her with his daughter.
* * *
By the middle of the morning, Bethany was exhausted. She loved children and enjoyed spending time with Rachel, her friend Lovina’s daughter, but she hadn’t realized how energetic a two-year-old could be. Mari never stopped moving or talking.
“You have a daed?” Mari asked as Bethany set the table for dinner.
“Ja, I have a daed and four brothers.”
She counted out two forks, then gave them to Mari one at a time as the little girl set them on each plate.
“Where are they?” Mari turned her sweet face toward Bethany.
“They went to a sale today, so they won’t be home until suppertime.”
“My daed eat with us?”
“He’ll eat his dinner at home.”
“With Mamm?”
Too late, Bethany realized her carelessness. Of course, Mari would think of her home in Iowa, not the house here in Indiana. Bethany kneeled on the floor and stroked Mari’s curls.
“Not with your mother. He’s here, at your new house.”
Mari’s eyebrows knit together. “That house smells bad. Don’t like it.”
“It only smells that way because no one has lived in it for a long time.” Bethany stood again and checked the potatoes boiling on the stove. They weren’t quite done, so she pulled a chair out from the table and sat down, lifting Mari into her lap. “Let me tell you about that house.”
As Mari leaned against her, Bethany told her how the house was so old that many little children had lived in it. “Your daed was one of those little children. He grew up in that house.”
Mari shook her head. “Daed is a big man.”
“He is now, but once he was little, just like you.” Bethany closed her eyes, remembering Andrew as a little boy. His blue eyes throwing challenges to her from the tops of fence rails, or from the top of the chicken house. He was always climbing, doing, going...and wanting her to come along with him. As Mari wiggled on her lap, she almost laughed. His daughter wasn’t much different than he had been.
“I want Mamm to come back.”
Bethany swallowed the sudden lump that appeared in her throat. “I’m sorry, but she can’t. She’s in the Blessed Land.”
“Mammi Rose said that. She cried.”
Blinking back her tears, Bethany nodded. Mari’s grandmother Rose must be Lily’s mother. “The Blessed Land is a beautiful place. We miss people when they are there, but we don’t need to feel sad for them.”
“Is Mamm happy?”
“I’m sure she is. Our Lord Jesus is there.”
Mari leaned against her again. “Daed talks to Jesus. He cries.”
Bethany leaned her cheek on Mari’s soft curls. Of course, Andrew would grieve over his wife. He must have loved her very much. When the tears welled up again, she rose to her feet, setting Mari on the chair.
“The potatoes are done, and it’s time to put dinner on the table.”
By the time the meal was finished, Mari was nearly asleep in her chair. Bethany washed her face and hands, then carried her to the little bedroom off the kitchen that was Bethany’s own. She laid her on the bed and covered her with a light flannel blanket. Mari turned over, closing her eyes as the door latch clicked into place. Bethany paused, her fingertips on the smooth wood, liste
ning to make sure Mari was settling in for her nap.
The little girl’s sweet softness had tugged on a dream Bethany thought she had buried months ago. Years ago. After Andrew’s family had moved away, and after Mamm had passed on, leaving Bethany to care for her father and brothers.
She went back to the sink and started scraping the dishes left from dinner. But dreams didn’t die, even if you buried them under a mountain of dirty dishes and laundry. Andrew had moved on with his life, but what had she done? Nothing. Her life had changed very little from the day she watched the Yoder family drive away with all their household goods piled in their wagon.
After dipping hot water from the stove’s reservoir into the dishpan, she carried it to the sink and swirled soap shavings until they disappeared in the warm water. She washed dishes the way Mamm had taught her, cleaning the glasses and silverware first, then moving to the plates and serving bowls. The pots and pans would be last.
As she dried the last pan, Bethany’s thoughts went back to the past four years. She had turned down two suitors, both of whom had gone on to marry and start families. She had even turned down an opportunity to travel to Ohio to be a nanny for her cousin. Sarah had thought it would be the perfect opportunity for Bethany to meet someone new...but she didn’t go. And then Mamm had passed on, and she couldn’t leave Daed and her brothers to fend for themselves.
But that had only been an excuse. Bethany rinsed the dishrag and wiped off the kitchen table. When it came right down to it, she had to admit that she hadn’t gone to Ohio because she didn’t want to risk loving another man.
She had made a fool of herself over Andrew once, and she wasn’t going to make that mistake again. She dropped the dishrag in the washtub as that embarrassing day passed through her mind. Why had she thought she liked him so much? She had thought she knew how he felt about her, but then she tried to kiss him on the cheek. Right there at the fishing hole, while he was busy taking a fish off his hook. He had dropped the fish and, losing her balance, she had slid off the grassy bank and into the water. She could still hear his laugh, and that stupid name he had called her for months afterward.
“Fishbait.” She shuddered.
They had never gone fishing again. And their friendship had never been as easy as it had been before that.
But now Andrew had made a life for himself without her. While she had waited for her life to begin, he had fallen in love with someone else.
Bethany rinsed the dish towels in a pan of clean water, then took them outside to dry on the line. She was there with a clothespin in her mouth when Andrew showed up, walking around the corner of the house.
“This place hasn’t changed much,” he said, taking in the house, the yard and the garden.
Bethany stuck the clothespin on the line, fastening the towels. “You’re right. Things have pretty much stayed the same.”
She tugged at her sleeves to pull them back over her elbows as she watched him. When they were children, he had spent as much time here as she had at his house. Today he looked around as if he couldn’t get enough of the familiar sights. He fingered an envelope, then lifted it up to show her.
“I got a letter from my mother-in-law. I don’t know how she found me so quickly.”
“She probably asked your mother where you were.”
“Ja, you’re right.” He tapped the envelope with an absent gesture. “I hadn’t told anyone, even Mamm. I didn’t want her to know we had come here.”
Bethany led the way to the chairs in the shade on the east side of the house, where Daed liked to sit in the evenings. “Why didn’t you tell her your plans? She’s Mari’s grandmother, isn’t she? Wouldn’t she want to know where you are living?”
Andrew lowered himself into a chair with a sigh. “She’s one of the reasons why I came back to Indiana. She wants to take Mari from me and raise her as her own daughter.”
“Wouldn’t that be all right? A lot of fathers let their young children live with someone else if they don’t have a mother.”
He glared at her. “Ne, it isn’t all right. You don’t know Rose. Whenever she’s involved in something, she takes over. Mari wouldn’t be my daughter anymore, she’d be Rose’s daughter.”
“What does the letter say?”
Andrew stared at the envelope. “Rose is coming here to visit. She says she only wants to help us get settled, but I know she intends to take Mari back to Iowa with her.”
Bethany’s stomach clenched. “What does her husband say?”
“Rose has been a widow for years, and that’s part of the problem. If Lily’s father was still alive, Rose would have someone to take care of. But now she’s alone and has nothing else to do but think of ways to interfere with people’s lives.”
Bethany folded her hands in her lap to keep from reaching out to take Andrew’s hand. “And she misses her daughter.”
He nodded. “She can’t have Lily back, so she wants Mari.”
“Why does she think you can’t take care of her?”
“Rose says Mari needs a mother.” Andrew leaned his elbows on his knees and ran a hand over his face. “I know she’s right.”
“What will you do?”
Andrew turned his head toward her and some of the old gleam returned to his eyes. “We could pretend that you’re Mari’s mother.”
Bethany held up a hand to stop his scheming. “I won’t have any part of lying to your mother-in-law, or to anyone else. Besides, she’d never believe you came back to Indiana one day and got married the next.” She shook her head. “It won’t work.”
He sat up. “What if we only said we were getting married? We can set a date and announce it to everyone. Then when Rose gets here and sees that plans are already made, she’ll have to be satisfied.”
“It’s still lying, Andrew. You can’t tell her you’re getting married when you have no intention of following through with it.”
Andrew stared at the ground while Bethany watched a pair of ducks fly overhead.
His voice broke through the afternoon heat, soft and hesitant. “What if we did follow through with it?”
Bethany stared at him, her heart pounding. “What do you mean?”
He shrugged. “We like each other, don’t we? Even after not seeing you for so long, here we are, talking like no time has passed at all. We’re still friends, aren’t we?”
Bethany’s fingers grew cold. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“We could get married. Mari needs a mother, and after only one day at the house, I can tell I’m not cut out to be a bachelor. I need someone to watch after Mari, cook my meals and take care of the house. You can do that, can’t you?”
“You want me to be your housekeeper?”
He looked at her, his eyes unreadable. “It’s the perfect solution. You don’t have any other prospects, do you? You couldn’t have been serious about old Hiram.”
“You want me to marry you...and be your housekeeper.”
“And Mari’s mother.”
Bethany had to turn away from him. He wanted her to be everything a wife would be, except she would never be his wife. Not really his wife. Not as long as he still loved Lily, and that would be forever. He was crazy to even suggest that they marry. Friendship was one thing, but marriage required love, didn’t it?
“We could make it work.” Andrew’s voice was insistent, holding a note of excitement. This was just another one of his schemes.
“This isn’t a game you’re talking about, Andrew.” She turned to face him again. “Marriage is forever.”
His blue eyes dimmed. “Until death parts us.” He picked up a twig and started breaking off pieces. “I was only thinking of Mari, I guess.”
Bethany let her memories play through the morning she had spent with Andrew’s daughter. She could step into the emptiness of Mari’s life. The tug she had felt earlier
returned and strengthened until her chest ached. As busy as she was with her home and family, she hadn’t realized how hollow her heart had been until Mari came into her life. And now Andrew was offering her a chance she might not ever see again—the chance to be a child’s mother.
She cleared her throat, hoping her voice was steady. “This is a big step, Andrew. I have to think about it.”
Andrew took her hand and she looked into his eyes. “Don’t think too long. Rose said her train arrives on Saturday.”
Chapter Two
While the afternoon sun shimmered in waves off the wooden shingles of the barn roof, Andrew kept a close eye on the line of clouds in the southwest. Something had torn a hole over the haymow, probably a raccoon, and he needed to get it patched before the weather could do any more damage to the interior of the barn. Daed had always said a barn was only as good as its roof.
Andrew glanced over his shoulder at the line of clouds again and wiped the beaded sweat off his upper lip. Lightning could travel for miles, and he couldn’t risk staying on the roof for much longer. He pounded in the last nail and slipped his hammer into his tool belt. He glanced toward the southwest again. The clouds hadn’t come any closer, but he scrambled down the roof to the safety of the ladder, anyway. Once on the ground, he pulled off his straw hat and wiped his brow, leaning against the barn wall. He had never been fearful of lightning before. He rubbed his quivering knees. But now he knew how deadly it was. Swift and deadly.
He went to the pump and worked the handle until cool water gushed out. Leaning over, he stuck his sweating head under the stream until it stopped, then shook like a dog to keep drops from running into his eyes. As he wiped the last of the water away on his shirttail, Lily’s face appeared in his imagination, as it often did. He kept his eyes closed, savoring the memory of her sweet smile. Then the smile turned to a frown and his eyes opened. What would Lily think of his proposal to Bethany?
He hadn’t meant for it to happen. But once he had said the words, it had felt right. There wasn’t anyone else he would trust more to raise Lily’s daughter than Bethany. There wasn’t anyone else he could imagine living with. Andrew ran his fingers through his damp hair. And Mari needed a mother. Lily would have seen the sense in that. It was convenient for both of them.
