Finding Paradise

by Barbara Dunlop

  “But—”

  “Cobra.”

  He gazed at her in silence for a full minute. “I honestly thought we could pull it off there for a while, the fun, the fling, then go back to our own lives.”

  “So did I,” she admitted. Things had gotten so much messier than she’d expected. “It should have been a fond memory, not a bitter fight.”

  “I don’t want to fight with you.”

  “Neither do I.” She didn’t trust herself to say more. Her emotions were too raw, and Cobra was too captivating, and she was afraid of blurting out the truth.

  The rain spattered around them, while music wafted from above and voices rose and fell around them.

  “What are you thinking?” he asked softly.

  She mustered her strength. “That we leave it the way we should have.”

  “And that is?”

  “Friendly. Thanks for a few laughs.” She forced a laugh out now. “I had a good time. See you when I see you.” She couldn’t believe how much it hurt to say the words. Her hand felt shaky as she took another sip of the drink. She set down the glass.

  “Is that what you really want?” he asked, his eyes deep and dark with regret.

  “It doesn’t matter what I want.” It took everything she had to keep her voice from cracking.

  He took both her hands in his. “All that matters is what you want.”

  She wanted to pull away from him, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Instead, she looked down at his strong fingers against her pale skin. “What I want isn’t good for me.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because it’ll hurt me in the end.”

  “You mean I’ll hurt you.”

  She shook her head. “It’s not you, it’s me.”

  He gave a ghost of a smile at her trite words.

  “That didn’t come out right,” she said.

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  She tried to explain. “I’m lost with you.”

  “Yeah?” His hands convulsed around hers. “Thing is, I’m lost without you.”

  “Cobra.”

  “You have to let me make it better.”

  “You can’t.”

  “I have to try.”

  “It’s you. All of you. Every bold, brash inch is overwhelming for me. I can’t cope with all that you are.”

  “That’s a lie,” he said.

  “It’s not.”

  “I pushed. You pushed back. You won.”

  “You call this winning?” She was miserable.

  “You got what you wanted. It sure wasn’t what I wanted.”

  “Cobra.”

  “I’ll change.”

  The very thought was appalling. He was perfect the way he was.

  “What are you going to do?” she asked. “Be less of what you are?”

  “I love you.”

  She pulled her hands from his. “No, no, you don’t.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “You can’t love me.” It only made things worse.

  “I can’t not love you, Marnie.” He touched her chin with his fingertip, lifting it.

  He leaned forward. She didn’t try to stop him as he brushed a ghost of a kiss across her lips. Desire glowed like a flame inside her.

  “It doesn’t solve anything,” she whispered, knowing in that second that she loved him back.

  “It solves everything.”

  Her heart was breaking; loving Cobra made everything a thousand times worse. “I’m not Mia. This doesn’t end with me moving to Paradise.”

  “It doesn’t end with me moving to LA either.”

  Her eyes welled with tears and she blinked them furiously away.

  He brushed her cheek. “Don’t. Don’t. Have some faith in us.”

  She miserably shook her head.

  “What about something in between?” he asked.

  “There’s nothing in between.” There was Seattle. But her life was in LA and his was in Alaska. There was nothing for either of them in Seattle.

  “Would you visit Paradise? Maybe in the summer? Do some work up there for Mia and the crew?”

  She opened her mouth to say a few weeks a year would only be torture for both of them, but he put a gentle fingertip across her lips.

  “I don’t have to be in Paradise all winter,” he said. “A few weeks here and there, but I can move to LA at the end of the season.”

  Marnie’s eyes widened and she straightened in shock. “You’d move to LA?” she asked around his finger.

  “I would.”

  “And live here all winter?”

  “Most of it.”

  Her mind started moving a million miles an hour. “And I could—”

  “You could. As much or as little as you wanted. I’d build us a house. Not as big and fancy as Silas and Mia’s, but the same idea.”

  Marnie pictured it in her mind. Her and Cobra, together, in a house in Paradise for weeks at a time. Cobra in LA for the winter. It felt too good to be true.

  “Are you sure?” she asked, not trusting it could happen.

  “Are you?” Then he looked around. “This isn’t the right place for this conversation. Can we find somewhere private?”

  * * *

  * * *

  Cobra awoke to a feeling of euphoria. Marnie shifted where she was spooned in his arms, and the night came flooding back. He kissed her hairline.

  She muttered something under her breath.

  “I love you too,” he replied, thinking he’d never get tired of saying it.

  She turned her head and her eyes fluttered open. She smiled up at him.

  “Morning, my sexy ballerina,” he said.

  “Morning.” Her grin widened and he kissed her lips.

  The coffee grinder droned in the kitchen.

  “Nice of Ethan to make coffee,” Cobra said, inhaling deeply and anticipating the first cup of the morning.

  Marnie slithered abruptly out of the bed, stepped into a pair of worn sweatpants and pulled a hoodie over her head.

  “In a hurry?” Cobra pulled himself into a sitting position, his hopes of her coming back to bed diminishing when she pulled on a pair of socks.

  “My coffee maker only makes two cups,” she said.

  “What?” Cobra straightened.

  She laughed.

  “Nicely played,” he said with admiration.

  “You did want a woman who would take you on.”

  “Not over coffee,” he protested with mock irritation.

  She scooted out the door, and he grinned again, feeling on top of the world. He’d walk a mile for coffee this morning if that’s what it took.

  He changed into his jeans and T-shirt and padded into the kitchen.

  “Second pot is on,” Ethan told him. He and Marnie were sitting at the dining table for four.

  “Thanks,” Cobra said.

  To his credit, Ethan hadn’t asked a single question about Cobra coming home with them last night. And he’d acted as though it was perfectly natural for Cobra to sleep in Marnie’s room. Cobra appreciated his discretion.

  Instead of waiting for the whole pot to brew, Cobra held his cup under the spigot, then he joined them at the table.

  The cupcake was sitting in the middle of the table, neatly cut into three pieces.

  “Is this what we’re doing?” Cobra pointed to it.

  “I hope so,” Ethan said.

  “I know how to share,” Marnie said, looking offended that he might think otherwise. Then she took one of the thirds.

  Ethan took another. They both bit down on spongy cake and fluffy icing and smiled their appreciation.

  “Mm,” Marnie said.

  Cobra gave in and took the remaining third. He had to admit, it was
delicious—a little early in the morning for something that sweet, but he gave kudos to the bakery.

  Marnie looked back to her tablet where she was reading, and Ethan continued scrolling through his phone. Cobra’s first drink of coffee washed the bites of cupcake down and gave him a satisfying hit of caffeine. He hadn’t had much sleep last night, and he hoped he wouldn’t get much sleep for a few more days to come.

  “I think Topeka is my best bet,” Ethan said. “I can check out Lawrence from there too.”

  “You’re not going home?” Cobra asked, thinking privately that it was a good idea. Ethan seemed more than a cut above his father and uncle.

  He shook his head. “Marnie inspired me.” He smiled fondly at his sister. “If she can break away, I can break away.”

  “For what it’s worth,” Cobra said, “I think it’s a good idea to break away.”

  “Cobra’s family’s difficult too,” Marnie put in without looking up from her reading.

  “Difficult how?” Ethan asked.

  “They’re snobs,” she said.

  Ethan’s brow furrowed. “Marnie, your family are felons. I don’t think snobs are on the same level.”

  Cobra chuckled. “He’s got you there.”

  “They sound like the most judgmental, sanctimonious people,” Marnie said, looking up.

  “I’m a disappointment to them,” Cobra explained to Ethan.

  Ethan drew back in obvious shock. “Why?”

  “I work with my hands,” Cobra said.

  “Snobs,” Marnie repeated.

  “Better than felons,” Ethan said again.

  Marnie scowled at him.

  “I’m just sayin’. Who would you rather have in the family? Car thieves or—” He looked to Cobra.

  “Doctors, engineers and accountants.”

  “And a senator’s aide,” Marnie said.

  “State senate,” Cobra pointed out.

  Marnie rolled her eyes at him.

  “You’re a lawyer,” Ethan said to her.

  She frowned in confusion.

  “That’s gotta help his rep.” Ethan pointed to Cobra with his thumb.

  “They’d think she was too good for me.”

  “See? You class him up.”

  “Ethan!” Marnie sounded horrified.

  “He’s not wrong,” Cobra said.

  “He sounds as bad as them.”

  Cobra reached out to take her hand. “They’re not all bad. Miles is good. Mom is fine. Dad is . . . well, Dad. And Barrick is married to Josephine, so he’s got his own problems.” He finally got a smile out of Marnie.

  “You’ve made me curious about Josephine,” she said.

  “You’ll have to come to Seattle sometime,” he said.

  “What? Why? No way.”

  “Just to meet them,” he said, knowing he wanted to show her off. He absolutely wanted to show her off to his family.

  “No,” she said, shaking her head.

  “Go for it,” Ethan said.

  “You,” she said back, pointing to his phone, “have your own things to worry about.”

  “True,” Ethan agreed on a sigh.

  “What are your plans so far?” Cobra asked, going back to his coffee, knowing any talk of his family could wait.

  “A job to start,” Ethan said, returning his attention to his phone.

  “What kind of a job?”

  “Mechanical, maybe.” Ethan looked doubtful.

  “Are you as good at it as Marnie?”

  Ethan coughed out a laugh. “I’m way better than her.”

  An idea came to Cobra. It seemed so logical, even perfect. “You ever consider aircraft maintenance?”

  Ethan looked blank.

  “It’s apprenticeship training.”

  “Who’d hire a felon as an apprentice?”

  Cobra shrugged. “Me . . . Brodie, technically. My boss.”

  Marnie gaped at him in astonishment.

  When Ethan spoke, his tone was hushed. “You serious?”

  “Paradise is way off the beaten track,” Cobra warned.

  “Cobra,” Marnie interrupted, looking worried.

  He shook his head at her. “The pay is good, but the hours are long. Winters are cold. But we need young, skilled guys who aren’t afraid of hard work. If you’re anything like your sister—”

  “I know how to work hard,” Ethan said.

  “Cobra, you can’t,” Marnie tried again.

  “Brodie’s increasing the fleet this year, and I have more than I can handle already. We’ve talked about getting another guy. Plus, I need someone who can take care of things when I want to come down to LA.” He smiled at Marnie. “Which will be frequently if things go my way.”

  Ethan looked at Marnie, and then back to Cobra. “If you’re serious, I’m in. I’m so in.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Marnie couldn’t believe her brother, Ethan, was in Paradise.

  She couldn’t believe she was back there herself, and that she was with Cobra now.

  Brodie had welcomed Ethan into the company, saying he had complete faith in Cobra’s judgment, setting her brother up in WSA housing. Ethan was busy learning the ropes of the WSA, while Cobra and Marnie were busy taking over the caretaker suite above the hangar.

  A bunch of the local guys had pitched in to clean out and repaint the suite. They’d pulled down some plywood and discovered some hidden windows that brightened it up considerably. They’d swept and washed out the grit, then painted the walls a fresh butter yellow, transforming the space.

  Raven rushed new appliances and furniture in from Fairbanks while Mia stepped in to help with the decorating. The concrete floor was now covered in a variety of gray and burgundy rugs. The bathroom fixtures and kitchen counters had been scrubbed to within an inch of their lives, and a new hot water heater made the open-plan suite a cozy home for Marnie and Cobra while they built something permanent.

  “You should build something upriver from me,” Raven was saying as she and Mia helped unpack dishes and cutlery into the corner kitchen while Cobra, Ethan and some others positioned furniture in the living area. “That spot at the bend is beautiful. And you’d be super close to the airstrip.”

  “I want her next to us,” Mia said. She looked pointedly at Marnie. “We’ve got too much property anyway. We can sell part of it to Cobra.”

  “Don’t you want a great view?” Raven said cajolingly.

  “Everywhere in Paradise has a good view,” Marnie answered. It was true. The mountains were so high around them that it was beautiful whichever way you looked.

  “They can build a dock north of my place,” Raven said as she stripped the Bubble Wrap from a stack of plates. “The current slows down in the wide spot.”

  “Do you need a dock?” Mia asked. “They don’t even have a boat.”

  “They can always buy a boat,” Raven reasoned.

  “We’re building a dock in the spring. We’ll share.”

  “I don’t see us doing a lot of boating,” Marnie said.

  “See? She wants to live beside me,” Mia said saucily. “We wouldn’t even have to put in a trail. The meadow’s already open. I’d be able to see you coming.”

  Cobra came up behind Marnie and wrapped his arms around her waist. “See who coming?”

  “Marnie,” Mia answered.

  “We’re fighting over her,” Raven added.

  “Well, you can’t have her,” Cobra said on a low chuckle, rocking Marnie back and forth a little. “She’s all mine.”

  She looked up at him and smiled.

  “As a neighbor,” Mia clarified. “Wouldn’t you like to build across the meadow from us? You and Silas could hang out, have a beer, grill meat, stand around campfires. You know, manly stuff.”

  Cobra qui
rked his eyebrows. “Manly stuff?”

  “You are a manly guy,” Marnie told him.

  “You’d get a better view next to me,” Raven said. “You know, that point of land across from Red Peak.”

  “Where do you want to live?” Cobra asked Marnie.

  “With you.”

  He grinned and gave her a kiss on the side of her neck. “Good answer.”

  “What are you planning to build?” Raven asked. “Big? Small? Elaborate? Plain?”

  “You can borrow our plans,” Mia offered. “They’re tried and true all over central Alaska.”

  “We’ve got all winter to decide,” Marnie pointed out.

  “You’ll be in LA all winter.” Mia didn’t look happy about that.

  “We can look at house plans in LA.”

  “But I won’t be there,” Mia complained.

  “You need to take in the scope of the building site,” Raven said. “See how your house will fit, where the windows and deck will pick up the best views, where you want the garage and the driveway.”

  “She’s right,” Mia agreed with a nod. “Plus, you also need my advice.”

  “You could visit us in LA,” Marnie suggested.

  “Who’s going to LA?” Silas joined the conversation.

  “You are, buddy.” Cobra clapped Silas on the shoulder. “Apparently there are floor plans to design.”

  “We could stay at the Waldorf,” Silas suggested to Mia. “I have very fond memories of the Waldorf.”

  “Who doesn’t love the Waldorf?” Raven asked.

  “You want to go to the Waldorf?” It was Brodie’s voice this time.

  “I want Marnie and Cobra to build a house next door to me.”

  “What does that have to do with the Waldorf?” Brodie asked.

  “Nothing,” Raven said.

  “Everything,” Mia said at the same time.

  Brodie looked at Silas and then Cobra. “I think I’m tapping out here.”

  Both of the other men chuckled.

  Finished unpacking the box, Mia set it on the discard pile. “I’ll come help some more tomorrow,” she said.

  “Only if you have time,” Marnie said. They’d made it through the bulk of the work already, and she really appreciated everyone’s stepping in. But she was also looking forward to being alone with Cobra for their first night in the suite.