Firsts: Book One’s

by Moore, Portia

  “Ouch!” Nathan laughs.

  “It just sounds like you haven’t been to the right places. Parker, where have you taken the girl?” he jokes

  “Oh you could take Madison to Paris and England to meet the queen and she still wouldn’t think it’s better than her beloved windy city,” Parker tells them.

  “I’ve been to Chicago, it’s a beautiful city,” Bradley adds with a charming smile.

  “At least someone has good taste in here,” I tease and he smiles back appreciatively.

  The ride to the party goes by quickly and with perfectly good conversation. I only think of Jackson twice, which means I’m making progress…I think. When we finally arrive near the venue they have some sort of valet service and my eyes pop out of me head when I see it’s fifty dollars. But Bradley pays with a black card similar to Jackson’s as easy as if it was five bucks instead of fifty.

  Doctor money must be nice. Nathan gets out and opens the door for me before the valet gets a chance to. I give him a smile of thanks. As soon as Parks is out of the car she’s swept in Brad’s arms. Nathan gives me a warm smile and gestures for me to go ahead of him. I wonder if he’s looking at my ass. I guess it doesn’t matter. I haven’t done squats in two weeks so I’m not sure what the view is like.

  I have to admit, the venue is gorgeous. There’s easily a few hundred people here, lights everywhere, music echoing throughout, servers carrying trays of drinks under large white tents. Everyone is dressed in white, just a few pops of color are visible, and I regret my choice of the Dorothy slipper shoes. Today is a day I don’t really want to be noticed and if anything, these babies make me stand out like a neon sign.

  I quickly grab a champagne flute from one of the trays from a server fluttering past and begin to gulp it down but am stopped by the strength of it. This isn’t the kind I’d pick up from the grocery store when Ryan closed a deal with a client—this could actually knock me on my ass. The kind Jackson bought. I cough, a little surprised.

  “Good stuff huh?” Nathan asks amused.

  “Hell yeah,” I say, too impressed to be embarrassed.

  “I’d like something a little stiffer than champagne, let’s head to the bar,” he offers with a smile.

  Maybe these two aren’t as stiff as I thought they’d be. We make our way to the crowded bar, but there’s several bartenders staffing it and it looks like it’s flowing better than any of the club bars I’ve been to back in Chicago.

  “What are you ladies drinking?” Nathan asks.

  “I’ll have a glass of Pinot,” Parker says lightly. That’s a classy choice.

  “A double shot of tequila,” I say without missing a beat. Parker’s glare chides me.

  “A tequila sunrise,” I add with a joking laugh even though I was entirely serious. I don’t know why she’s glaring at me. If I’m drinking more then I’ll be a hell of a lot more social, and if I came to this place for anything other than my support for her, it’s the drinks.

  “The usual, Brad?” Nathan asks. He nods, slipping his arm behind Parker’s waist and pulling her closer to him.

  Nathan disappears to the front line of the bar while I stand scrolling through a freelance work website to see if there are any jobs I can snag.

  “How long are you going to be in New York?” Bradley asks. Both him and Parker look at me as if they’ve been an official couple for months rather than just on a few casual dates, and I begin to wonder if Parks has been holding out on me. I like them together so far; they’re cute and Parker seems as if she’s actually trying to impress him, which I’ve never seen before.

  Parker’s impressive in her own right with a great position at a top advertising agency. She’s a beautifully perfect mix of her mother’s Asian ancestry and her dad’s Italian heritage, she’s smart, and her parents are loaded. I’m happy for her. She’s usually super hard to please which is why she’s been single up until this point, but with Brad being handsome, seemingly normal, and a doctor with the added bonus of his dick being huge…I forgot about that part and my face starts to flush.

  “Ugh, just a few weeks, if that,” I say stifling a giggle. Maybe that champagne was a little too good.

  “I’d be happy to show you around, give you a better glimpse of the city Parker obviously failed to do.” Nathan is back, throwing a joking smile to Parker. He passes out our drinks and when he hands me a double shot of tequila instead of the tequila sunrise I was bullied into ordering by Parks, I decide that maybe he is more of a Nate than a Nathan.

  “Oh, you try to convince little Ms. Illinois that there’s anything in New York that one-ups Chicago is the day you’ll die,” Parker warns him. Nathan lifts his glass revealing he’s ordered shots too.

  “To the best cities in the world,” he says, gesturing for a toast.

  “I can toast to that,” I tell him and we do.

  I don’t know if it’s the champagne and tequila or the fact that Bradley and Nathan aren’t that bad to hang out with but I find myself having fun. They’re not as stuffy as I imagined them being and turns out Nathan, other than a few friendly offers, doesn’t seem that interested in me at all and it’s refreshing. It’s why when they suggest dinner and Parks looks at me for approval I give it to her, and roll my eyes at the wide smile she flashes me.

  The ride to the restaurant is smooth and goes well, Parker and Brad knee deep in their own flirtatious conversation. The alcohol has made me more friendly and I find myself wanting to know a little more about Nate.

  “Is the restaurant we’re going to good? I’m starving,” I tell him, my stomach rumbling. He gives me an easy smile.

  “Yes they have amazing pasta and the drinks aren’t watered down.”

  “Are you implying that I’m more interested in alcohol than food? Because if you are you’re only half wrong.” We both laugh.

  “It’s more like a bar and grill,” he tells me, but when we arrive it’s a little more than a bar and grill. Not like any I’ve seen before, and from the attire of the people in the restaurant it’s more like an upscale club. It’s the equivalent of a large rooftop bar we have in Chicago I frequent…or used to. There’s a line at the door but it looks like Brad and Nathan already made reservations or something and we walk past like we’re celebrities. Once we’re seated I look over the huge menu. The prices almost make my eyes water but I know that Brad and Matt will likely foot the bill of this excursion. Otherwise I guess I’ll do Postmates the rest of the week. That’d be a hell of a way to get to know New York.

  “This place is impressive, I have to admit.” We get a prime seat on the second floor. The weather is perfect and I’m taken back to the nights I spent lying on rooftops with Jackson.

  Get out of my mind!

  “I’ll pass your approval on to my parents,” Nathan says with a wide smile. I glance to Parker.

  “Oh yeah, Nate’s parents own the place.”

  “Not the entire place. They’re one of the owners, it’s a joint venture,” he says trying to downplay it.

  “Wow, that’s amazing,” I say impressed.

  “So I take it the meal’s on you,” I ask half-jokingly and they all laugh with me.

  “Well Nate what do you recommend?”

  He goes through his favorite dishes and drinks.

  “I’ve had almost every entrée. Everything is fantastic,” Parker adds. I give her an arched brow and smile at how happy she looks. I think my bestie may have gotten the curse.

  “If my parent’s owned a restaurant I’d be on My 600-lb Life,” I say as we dig into the appetizer that’s been brought out to us. It’s a unique spin on spinach dip but I’ve never had it before. It tastes so fresh, the cheese so decadent. It’s amazing.

  “What do your parents do?” Brad asks.

  “My mom is a nurse and my dad…well he’s an absentee,” I say quickly, kicking myself for the sore subject I walked us right into. There’s an awkward silence at the table until Brad cuts in.

  “Parents, you’ve got to love t
hem huh? Especially dads. My parents are going through a divorce.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” I tell him genuinely, and hate that I’ve injected such an ill topic into the conversation. I’m about to make a suggestion for shots instead of cocktails but he continues.

  “He’s leaving my mom for his assistant, if you can believe that. I’m two years older than her.”

  When he says this a chill sweeps over me. My skin heats up in embarrassment, and I think of Jackson offering to leave his wife for me, destroy his family for me. How I’ve been miserable because I walked away before I saw if he would.

  “I hope your mom takes him to the cleaners,” Nate says solemnly.

  “What the hell does a twenty-something-year-old want with a forty-year-old? What could they possibly have in common?” Nate adds, and I can’t even stomach the large dip I’ve scooped on my plate.

  “You know, who knows why things like that happen,” Parker interjects suddenly, reading my face and how this conversation has sobered me up more than a cold shower.

  “I have to agree with him Parker, I mean other than what the obvious is. I see what his dad gets out of it, sex with a twenty-year-old. But come on, to leave your wife over it and break up your family? That’s ridiculous. Ben’s such a smart guy.”

  My body is stiff, I can’t move. Guilt and embarrassment have melted around me and has me stuck to my chair.

  “Well things happen in life and we can’t say or judge people when we don’t know the entire story.” Parker is trying to defend me but Brad and Nathan are looking at her as if she’s grown two heads. They don’t understand why she hasn’t joined in on the mistress slander, and it would make sense for Parker to. She may have a mouth like a sailor but Parker is largely conservative, and even aside from that, what girlfriend wouldn’t commiserate about his cheating father?

  A friend who loves her best friend and doesn’t want her to feel like shit, except it’s too late for that. All that’s happening now is she’s losing points with a guy she really likes.

  “I’m not feeling well guys,” I say standing. The boys look on in confusion and Parker’s face pleads with me to sit.

  “Is it the food?” Nathan asks, his expression full of concern.

  “No, I think it’s a bug I had last week. It’s not contagious though I promise,” I explain quickly with a smile.

  “I’ll go with you to the bathroom,” Parker offers.

  “No, I actually think I’m going to head out.” Parker’s face falls in disappointment.

  “We’ll all head out,” Nathan offers. I quickly shake my head.

  “Oh no, please don’t. I’d feel terrible about it all night if you did. You all stay and enjoy dinner.”

  “Maddy, we’re not letting you get a cab home. I’m not,” she declares and I frown at her.

  “No, you’ll stay,” I tell her simply.

  “No I won’t!” She’s so damn stubborn. We stare each other down.

  “I-I can get a cab with you home, it won’t be a problem,” Nate offers.

  “No please guys, I will be fine I promise, don’t make me feel worse than I do. I’ve had such a great time tonight. I just overdid it a little but I’m sober as a nun. I’ll be fine in an Uber.”

  They all exchange glances as if trying to come to a conclusion of what to do.

  “Okay how about this, I’m just going to step outside for some air, and if I don’t feel better I’ll come back and we’ll figure it out,” I tell them, but it’s a lie, I need air and space, and time to get in my head and clean up some things like thoughts, memories, embarrassment, lies.

  “You’re going to come back in,” Parker says tightly with a frown on her face. She already knows it’s a lie.

  “Give me fifteen,” I say heading from the table trying to untighten my smile. As soon as I reach the first floor and make it out the door I suck in a long breath and release it.

  I’m a homewrecking slut.

  I almost was. I take in the breeze and close my eyes and remember when my life was simple, when I had a boyfriend who was easy and didn’t make me feel like this. He didn’t make me feel much of anything but feeling nothing was better than feeling like this—overwhelmed, devastated, trying to drink my problems away.

  I keep trying to figure out how I let him creep in, how I was so stupid as to not ask if he was married. I just somehow assumed he wasn’t. I wonder if deep down I knew and didn’t want to ask. I can’t believe I’ve ended up here, an exact version of a person I’ve hated for so long, the faceless woman who destroyed my family, who stole my father, who ruined my childhood out of selfishness.

  I didn’t know about Jackson’s family but maybe she didn’t at first. Yeah, Jackson doesn’t have small children but is a heartbroken adult less important than a child’s…or a wife’s? All of this is actually a moot point. Jackson said he’d leave his wife but it doesn’t mean he would. I can’t imagine the money and assets he has tied up and to go through all of that for me, hell I probably wasn’t even the first. It could all be lies…the flowers, the letters, the calls, the gifts he sent. All of that could just be routine, and I’m not sure which is worse.

  There’s so many people out in front of this restaurant. The streets here are always crowded. How do people not feel claustrophobic here? I’ve got to get a cab, or will an Uber be better? I pull out my phone and see my battery’s at three percent.

  How the hell did that happen?

  A cab it is. I’ve never hailed a cab before. I try to decide if I should walk to the counter or go back in and ask the hostess to call me one, but I don’t want to risk Parker spotting me and having to go on an awkward ride back with them after having such a nice night. I don’t want to ruin anyone else’s night. Maybe I can get an Uber before my phone dies. I pull up the app and before I can put in the destination it goes dead.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I whine.

  “Phone die?”

  “Yup, and this is now one of a hundred worst nights of my life,” I groan.

  “Well I guess that makes me your fairy godmother.” I roll my eyes but the voice speaking to me sounds anything but like a fairy godmother. It’s distinctly male, the voice deep and husky, and there’s something almost familiar about it. Like when you see a grown-up version of the kid you used to watch on an old TV show.

  “Well fairy godmother, you’ve been doing a really shitty job late—”

  My words catch in my mouth when I lift my head and our eyes meet. His eyes are a magnetic storm grey, with an amused glint in them. Half a smile rests on his kissable lips. His hair is thick and light brown, short on the sides and long at the top, a jaw strong enough for my face to ride on, and a beard I can grab while I do it. Heat surges through my body, and I don’t know if it’s the drinks I’ve had but if I hadn’t sworn off men I’d take him home and fuck his brains out…well, if I had a home. And I’m reminded that the last thing I should be thinking about is sex. He steps closer to me.

  He’s about 6’2”, maybe 6’3”, wearing just a blue fitted t-shirt and jeans. Everyone else around here is dressed to impress and he looks like he’s rolled out of bed not giving two fucks about impressing anyone. But dear Lord, his body is sculpted lean muscle made to be naked.

  “Nope.” Hell no is what I actually want to say. This dude is nuts if he thinks I’m going to accept anything from him. I see where this is going. I’ve been here before and I’m not going there again.

  “No?” he asks looking mildly amused.

  “Whatever you’re offering I don’t want, and trust me you don’t want this.” I try to whistle for a cab like how I’ve seen people do in movies but fail miserably.

  “I’m just offering a charger.” He lifts a square portable charger out to me. I arch a brow at him.

  “Okay. I just want to charge my phone but that’s it though,” I say warily. He nods and hands it to me.

  “Thank you,” I tell him shortly.

  I take it and plug my phone into it, and
will myself to stare at my feet until I get to seven percent.

  “Can I ask you a question?” he says. I shake my head no and he lets out a little laugh.

  “Okay. No questions then. My name is Alex,” he continues.

  I let out a breath and my eyes meet his and they’re even more glorious than they were at first glance. I have to steel myself to avoid telling him what I’d like to do to him.

  “That doesn’t matter to me,” I say absentmindedly.

  “Ouch.” He laughs. I instantly feel like a huge bitch.

  “Look, I’m not usually like this, I promise. But I’m tipsy and you’re way too hot and if you say the right thing I might accidentally end up fucking you.” His eyes widen but a glorious smile spreads across his face before transforming into a humungous laugh.

  “I’m flattered,” he says, but my face is deadpan.

  “It sounds like a joke but it isn’t. I’m starting to think I’m cursed and if we have sex either you’ll fall in love with me and I won’t love you or I’ll love you and you’ll turn out to be a married asshole. Or you’ll cheat on me and I’ll have to destroy all of your property, and I’m way too exhausted for any of that to happen right now. So being a little rude to you is me doing you a favor, trust me.”

  I let out a relieved breath; that felt good.

  “You feel better?” he asks sporting a curious grin.

  “Yeah, I do,” I admit with a laugh and then realize what a psycho I must sound like. But it doesn’t matter because after I grab my Uber I’ll never see his beautiful face again.

  “Is it enough to get me a name?” he says with a contagious smile.

  “Madison,” I tell him cracking a small one of my own. I open the Uber app and put in Parker’s address. My eyes pop out of my head when I see the price is $75 to get to her house from here.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I mutter aloud. I can’t afford to drop that much for a ride less than fifteen minutes from here.

  “What’s wrong?” he asks, and I sigh.