Wicked in a Kilt (Hot Scots Book 2)

by Anna Durand

  "If I don't want to move there, what then?"

  "Told you before," he said, "I'll live in America if that's what you want."

  "And you'll hate me for making you leave your beloved homeland."

  "For Christ's sake, Calli. What do you want me to say?" Silence followed, with lots of deep-breathing noises. Regaining his composure, no doubt. "We can work it out. Please stop looking for excuses to end this."

  As much as I longed to teleport myself to Scotland and crawl onto his lap, to let him soothe me and convince me everything would work out, something inside me wouldn't let go of the fear.

  "Bad things happen," I said. "Life has taught me to expect them. Good things are rare and I can't risk it on the hope we might beat the odds."

  "Please don't do this. I'll fly over there and we can talk in person."

  And he would change my mind. We both knew it. But eventually, reality would flood in again and I'd be trapped in another country. "I'm sorry. You'll never know how much knowing you has meant to me, but I can't do this. Goodbye, Aidan."

  I disconnected the call.

  And cried until I fell asleep, slumped on the sofa with the phone still in my hand.

  *****

  On this warm and sunny morning, three days after I'd told Aidan it was over, I would've preferred to wallow in private. Instead, my cousin and my brother had knocked on my door — without any advance notice, determined to cheer me up.

  "You okay?" Gavin asked. He sat next to me on the sofa, half turned toward me.

  Tara sat forward in the armchair kitty-corner to where I hunched on the sofa, her worried gaze locked on me. In her dainty hand, she held two sheets of paper.

  My chin on my knees, I sighed miserably and at last answered Gavin's question. "No, I'm not the least bit fine."

  "You love him," Gavin said, "so call the guy and tell him."

  "He knows and it doesn't matter." I buried my face between my knees, wrapping my arms tighter around them. "I can't marry a man I knew for two weeks."

  "Spend more time with him. Get to know the guy better."

  "Won't make a difference. I can't trust my judgment where he's concerned, I get swept up in the romance of it all and forget to be rational."

  "Love isn't rational, C. You've got to take a chance." Gavin pointed at the piece of papers Tara held. "He's not giving up. Can you really walk away from this?"

  I rubbed my arms, uneasy at the sight of the papers covered in handwritten words. Aidan's letter. It had arrived yesterday by FedEx, but I'd mutated into a coward who couldn't open a frigging letter. Instead, I'd burst into tears when I saw the return address with Aidan's name in it. This morning, I'd finally summoned the courage to rip open the envelope and read the letter.

  I cried for three hours after that. No one had ever written me a love letter, much less one so beautiful and tragic.

  I'd let Tara and Gavin read the letter because Aidan had concluded his two-page missive with the statement that I should "let Tara and Gavin read this, because you need their support." Aidan had told me before he went home that he would fight for me. I assumed he meant I'd need support to realize I was being an eejit.

  Which I was. An idiot and a coward.

  The first few sentences of his letter would've made me smile, if I didn't feel like my insides had been hollowed out.

  "In the name of transparency," he'd written, "I should tell you Lachlan sent Erica a note after their breakup. That's not why I'm writing to you. Lachie only managed two words and I have much more to say." After that, he'd talked about our two weeks together and how much they'd meant to him, how much he missed me, how much he wished I could be there with him. "I know you're afraid, but staying away from me won't make you feel any safer. Don't give up on us. Come see me, or I'll come to you, and we'll take as long as you want getting to know each other. Please give us another chance."

  Recalling his words, I felt the sting of tears once again. God, I missed him. What the hell was I doing? I loved him. He'd treated me better than anyone in my life.

  The last line of the two-page letter echoed in my mind. "I'll love you for the rest of my life and the whole of eternity."

  I swiped at my eyes, sniffling. "Even if I wanted to, how could I run back to him now? After the way I hurt him?"

  "He'll forgive you," Gavin said.

  "Maybe, but he shouldn't. I'm bad news."

  "Bullshit."

  "Let's review," Tara said, holding the letter up so she could peruse it again. "How does Aidan MacTaggart feel about Calli Douglas?" She scanned down the letter, following the path of her gaze with one fingertip on the paper. "I've never loved anyone but you, he says. Those weeks with you were the best of my life and I believe with all my heart we will be together one day. You are the love of my life."

  Tara lowered the paper and gave me an empathetic look.

  I clamped my bottom lip between my teeth. The love of his life. He was the love of mine, for sure.

  "But here's my favorite part," Tara said, reading from the letter again. "I should've told you I wanted us to live in Scotland, but I honestly didn't think about it. I was consumed with the need to win you. The moment we met, I knew I wanted you and only you. Please believe me, mo cree — crid — " She struggled to pronounce mo chridhe, but gave up with a shrug. "Please believe me, I will go anywhere you want. Just come back to me."

  Gavin laid a hand on my arm. "We all know what he wants. And we know you want him back. The question is, are you willing to take the risk and go after him?"

  Did I have the courage to fix what I'd broken? If he rejected me, despite his letter...Well, at least I gave it my best shot.

  Tara shook her head. "Don't be a chicken, sweetie."

  "Jamie says he's heartbroken," Gavin told me, "but he's trying to hide it. You're the same way, and if you don't get your ass on a plane right away, I'll hogtie you and send you to Aidan in a FedEx box."

  I lifted my head, which felt like it weighed fifty pounds. "Thanks for the stern encouragement, but I don't know if I can do it. Move to another country? You guys would be so far away."

  "He says you can work that stuff out," Tara said. "The man adores you and would do anything for you. Isn't that worth an airline trip to find out if you can be together?"

  "What if I don't know him after all?" I said. "Mom and Dad kept secrets from us. Gavin's wife up and left him for no good reason. Then there's your first husband, Tara."

  My cousin rolled her eyes. "If we're over our past traumas, you should be too. These are lame excuses and you know it."

  Gavin folded his arm around me and pulled into a hug. "I get why you're scared. After everything that's happened, it's easy to think nothing good could ever come. But good things do come. Look at me and Jamie."

  She and Gavin kept in touch by phone, text, and any other modern convenience available to them. They were the cutest couple on earth, and I wished them nothing but happiness — even if I didn't have any for myself. Maybe I still had a chance to reclaim mine.

  "And there's me and Blake," Tara said. "Two sickeningly happy couples."

  "Three," Gavin corrected. He gave me quick squeeze. "If this idiot will get off the sofa and go to Scotland."

  I pulled away from him, unbending my legs. "Scotland? I can't pick up and go there. What about the puppies?"

  My gaze traveled to the backyard where, as usual, Mandy and Misty were frolicking.

  "I'll stay here," Gavin said, "and take care of the pooches for you. If you marry Aidan, I can bring the girls over there when I come for the wedding."

  I shook my head. "Planning the wedding is a little premature, don't you think?"

  "Go, Calli."

  Thanks to the settlement from Rade, which he'd paid me already, I could afford the trip. I could see Aidan again. Touch him. Kiss him. Beg him to take me back. Excitement rushed through me, electrifying every nerve, tingling over my scalp, lightening my psyche. Gavin and Tara were right. I had to try.

  So he neglected to te
ll me he wanted to live in Scotland. He was willing to go wherever I wanted, and besides, I hadn't thought to ask where we'd live if I fell for him. It hadn't been a lie, just an oversight.

  A realization struck me like a meteor. I would risk anything to have another chance with him.

  I leaped off the sofa, standing up straight. "I'm going to Scotland to get my man."

  Tara grinned and squealed, leaping up to suffocate me in a bear hug. Gavin joined in and I found myself enveloped by the two people I loved second most in the world. Aidan came first — and I would get him back, whatever it took.

  I bolted for the bedroom to pack my bags.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  I climbed out of the rental car, keeping the door in front of me because the wussy side of me had reared her head higher the closer I got to my destination. My first stop after a two-hour drive from Inverness had been Aidan's house, a quaint old cottage in the village of Ballachulish. He hadn't been home. Luckily, his next-door neighbor took pity on me after spotting me on his doorstep, my shoulders slumped and my head hanging. The elderly woman gave me directions to the house on the outskirts of town where Aidan's parents lived. They'd been kind, and though I got the impression they knew I'd hurt their son, they told me I'd find him at Lachlan and Erica's place.

  And so, here I stood. On their property. Staring at their house. Hiding behind a car door with fingers clamped over its top edge hard enough to cause a twinge of pain. Coward.

  Tilting my head back, I studied the puffy white clouds that scudded across the blue sky. The color of the sky paled next to the lustrous sapphire of Aidan's eyes. His face flashed in my mind and my chest ached. I'd crossed an ocean to get here. I would not chicken out now.

  I shut the car door and marched to the front door of the quaint farmhouse. Niall and Greer MacTaggart, the lord and lady of their little clan, had told me Erica and Lachlan owned a farm. I'd thought they meant in the general sense of living in the country on acreage. Nope. I glanced around as I approached the house, taking in the barn and the chicken coop, inside which I could hear the critters clucking away. A green tractor sat parked alongside the barn, its newness evidenced by the gleam of its paint job.

  At the door, I hesitated with my hand raised to knock. What if Lachlan hated me for wounding his brother? Aidan said his eldest brother was super protective. He might toss me out on my ass. And I would deserve it.

  Ugh. I had to get a grip right this instant. No more self-flagellation. I came here to get my man, and dammit, I was going to do it. Or try to do it. Double ugh.

  I rapped three times.

  A dog barked from inside the house, and a deep male voice shouted something, probably an admonition for the dog to be quiet. Aidan had been so sweet with my furry girls. My eyes burned for millionth time since Aidan's departure and I hauled in a long breath, determined not to cry before I'd even seen him.

  The door swung inward, revealing a mountain of a man. Holy mackerel. He was taller than Aidan, with darker hair and paler eyes, but the resemblance was unmistakable. I gulped against the tightness in my throat as I gazed up at Lachlan MacTaggart. One side of his impossibly broad shoulders bunched when he leaned against the door, his hand perched on its top corner. A black T-shirt stretched taut over his torso, jeans hung low on his hips. He was barefoot, his hair unkempt — kind of spiky, the way Aidan's hair looked after I raked my fingers through it while in the throes of passion.

  I straightened, rolled my shoulders back, and said, "Is Aidan here?"

  Lachlan squinted at me, canting his head. "Who's asking?"

  "Me." I squelched my groan of disgust at the stupid response.

  "Thanks for the clarification." His lips curved up the slightest bit and he arched his brows. "Who are you, lass?"

  "Oh. Right." I started to offer my hand, but the trembling in my fingers made me shove both hands in my jeans pockets. "Um, I, well...I'm Calli Douglas."

  "Ah." He eyed me up and down like a man sizing up his enemy before a battle. His eyes had narrowed again and his mouth had compressed into a line. When his focus shifted to my face, his gaze bored into me and made me squirm. "What do you want with my brother?"

  My skin went cold. He was going to kick my ass.

  A woman appeared behind Lachlan, her chestnut hair as mussed as his. Her hazel eyes drifted to me and in one quick scan she seemed to learn everything she needed to know. Smiling, she held out her hand to me. "Erica MacTaggart."

  I settled my hand in hers, surprised by the firmness of her grip. "Uh, Calli — "

  "Yeah, I heard your little tete-a-tete with Lachlan." She aimed a reproving look at her husband. "Be nice, honey. Remember how you felt after you ripped my heart out and threw it in Lake Michigan?"

  She smiled brightly at him.

  Lachlan slouched a little, gazing at his wife as if the entire universe existed in her eyes. My gut twisted. Aidan had looked at me that way once upon a time. Before I ripped his heart out.

  Erica kissed Lachlan's cheek. "Why don't you let us American girls have a chat?"

  "All right." He threw me a tight smile. "Nice to meet you, Calli."

  His wife smacked the back of her hand across his chest. "Be nice."

  Jaw slack, he spread his hands wide and shook his head. "I said it was nice to meet her."

  "Uh-huh." Erica shooed him away from the door. A baby cried from somewhere deeper inside the house and she pointed in the direction of the sound. "You take care of Nicholas and I'll take care of our guest."

  Lachlan dashed off and Erica gestured for me to go inside, then shut the door behind us. Locked in with people who must hate me. Ich. Part of me itched to run far, far away from all this. My less-wussy side won, urging me to see this through no matter what humiliations I must endure.

  Erica led me into a living room where two matching armchairs stood in front of fireplace, with a sofa behind them. My hostess took a seat in one chair and I took the other, perching on the chair's edge with my hands clasped on my lap. I wrung my hands, chewing the inside of my cheek.

  I said the only thing I could think of. "Your son's name is Nicholas?"

  "Lachlan wanted to call him Uilleam, a Gaelic name I can barely even pronounce. I nixed that idea."

  Nodding, I watched the empty fireplace. Yeah, I was avoiding eye contact. Wussdom was a tough place to escape from. I scratched my arm, fidgeting in the chair.

  "Relax," Erica said, leaning back in her chair. "Nobody's going to jump on you. Lachlan's worried about Aidan, that's all. He's very protective."

  "Aidan mentioned that." I dared to meet Erica's gaze. "You must think I'm a horrible person."

  Her smile was gentle and...motherly. "Not at all. I'm sure Aidan told you how Lachlan dumped me. I made him wait two months before I forgave him."

  Christ, if Aidan put me off for two months I didn't think I could handle it. I realized with a start my fingers had moved up to my throat, one finger tapping a manic beat.

  Erica leaned forward and stretched out a hand to touch my knee. "Aidan's nowhere near as stubborn as me. Though, to be fair, I had been framed for embezzlement by my ex. Kinda hard to trust after that."

  How exactly did one respond to such a confession? Gee, sorry your ex was such a douche. It hardly seemed adequate.

  Sitting back, Erica rested her arms on the chair's arms and crossed her ankles. "I think you and I will be good friends."

  "Your husband might not approve."

  "He will once you and Aidan work things out." A playful gleam glinted in her eyes to match her mischievous smile. "Besides, I have a certain...influence over Lachlan."

  I could guess what she meant by that. Aidan had influenced me, for sure. I'd ditched all my rules, one by one, helpless to resist my hot Scot.

  "You're brave to come all this way," Erica said. "I admire your conviction."

  "But?" I heard the word in her tone, even though she didn't speak it.

  "You have to understand, Aidan's never had his heart broken before. I don't t
hink he's ever been in love either." She leveled a somber expression on me. "He's a sweetie-pie, but he's been through a lot this year."

  The accident and the stuff with Seona. I couldn't blame his family for being protective, but the revelation he'd never been in love before had left me reeling. Somehow, I had to stick it out through this conversation.

  "I would never want to make him feel worse," I said. My throat ached, my stomach roiled, and the sting in my eyes told me I'd cry if I didn't rein in my anxiety. What if he'd changed his mind about me?

  As if she'd read my mind, Erica said, "Aidan loves you, and when a MacTaggart man loves, he never gives up on it."

  "But I — broke his heart."

  "Broken things can be mended."

  Footsteps clumped nearer from somewhere deeper in the house. A little smile curled Erica's lips and she hopped up from her chair. She shooed me out of my chair and toward the living room doorway. As we crossed the threshold, she stopped me with a hand on my arm. "I'm going to tell you something you can never let anyone, especially Lachlan, know I told you."

  "Okay," I said carefully, not at all sure I wanted to be the keeper of a secret like that.

  She glanced around as if looking for her husband, who wasn't in sight. Then she whispered, "Lachlan's a manly man too, but he fell to his knees and cried when he begged me to forgive him. And I mean really begged. Don't assume Aidan's too proud to take you back."

  "I hope you're right." The memory of his letter flashed through my mind. He'd poured his heart and soul into the words he scrawled on those two pages. Maybe that had been his version of falling to his knees for me.

  He didn't have to beg. I was the one in need of forgiveness.

  Lachlan emerged from a room down the hall carrying a steaming mug. He hesitated when he noticed us huddled in the doorway. One of his dark brows lifted. "You two look secretive. Must be talking about Aidan."

  "No." Erica grinned. "We were gossiping about you."

  His mouth opened, then closed. "I don't want to know, do I?"

  She shook her head. "But you should wish Calli luck. She's heading out to get her man."