CONVICT: An Unfit Hero Novel

by Faiman, Hayley

“I don’t actually, need a babysitter. Thanks for the offer though,” I say, lifting a hand to wave her off.

  She frowns, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’ll be needing help. You ain’t so high and mighty that you can take care of a newborn and work, Miss Thang.”

  I grind my teeth together at the use of the words Miss Thang. I fucking hated that when I was little, and I hate it even more now.

  “I have help, thanks,” I lie.

  Well, it’s not a complete lie. However, I haven’t thought about daycare, not even a little bit. I now have some financial wiggle room with Rylan moving in with me, thank goodness. Without him, I don’t know what I would do.

  “Who?” she barks.

  “None of your business, now get outta here,” Lulamae shouts.

  My mother lifts her hand, points her finger at her and sneers. “You shut up you old hag,” she screeches.

  Lulamae shifts around behind me and I already know what she’s reaching for. A few seconds later I hear the sound of the shotgun cocking and my mother gasps. “I said get outta here, Linda. I ain’t gonna say it again,” she growls.

  My mother doesn’t stay, she turns, but before she walks out of the restaurant, she flips us the finger. “You ain’t nothin’. Miss Thang. Ain’t fuckin’ nothin’. Remember where you came from, you ain’t shit,” she screeches before she departs.

  Lulamae and I silently watch her leave the diner. She doesn’t get into a car, she stomps down the dirt and gravel road, wearing her jean mini skirt, tube top, and platform flip-flops. “You are not her, girl,” Lulamae murmurs a few moments later.

  Turning my head, I look back at her as she stows the gun back in its spot. “I know I’m not, Lula. I worry that I’ll turn into her though,” I admit.

  Lulamae snorts. “Nothin’ to worry about, hun. You’ll never be like that. You won’t allow yourself. You’ll work your fingers to the bone so’s not to be just like her. I know you will, because that’s exactly what I did. I’m nothing like my mama. Thank fuck,” she barks.

  I can’t help but giggle at her curse word, something she doesn’t say very often. “Your mom was bad too?” I ask.

  Lulamae’s eyes darken and she nods. “Makes yours look like a saint.” She turns and I watch her walk back into the kitchen.

  I suddenly have a newfound respect for Lulamae. Not that I didn’t respect her before, because I did, truly. But knowing that she comes from a similar background to my own, it makes me feel differently about her, closer to her.

  The rest of the day goes by in a blur. Once I’m off shift, I climb into my car and drive home. I’m exhausted, beyond tired, but satisfied. The world looks a little brighter today, despite my mother causing a scene.

  My life is suddenly taking a turn that I never intended. I never thought possible, but here it is, and I can’t wait to see what happens next. Maybe there won’t be anything between me and Rylan. Maybe our arrangement won’t work out for more than a few months, but it feels like this is something huge. I’m going to let it all play out.

  With a few dollars of tips in my pocket, I decide to treat myself to a pint of cheap ice cream. Pulling into the grocery store, I look around for Jennifer’s car. I doubt that she’d be here again today, but I don’t feel comfortable going anywhere alone. I’ve never been scared in this town before now.

  Even with my mother running around with all her drugged out contacts and boyfriends, I’ve always felt safe—except now. Jennifer and James are not just going to let this die and go away. I don’t want anything from him, not a penny. In fact, I don’t want him anywhere near my baby. He can sign his rights over, or whatever he needs to do, but I don’t want him to have any claim to my baby. This baby is just that too—mine.

  Confident that I don’t see her car in the parking lot, I climb out of my car and head inside. It only takes me a few minutes to grab my chocolate chip cookie dough craving and then I get back into the car and hurry home before it melts everywhere.

  Pulling into my driveway, my ice cream is all but forgotten. The man that waits at my front door, his eyes are piercing as they stare back at me. My heart races at the sight of him, and I let out a heavy exhale.

  RYLAN

  I can’t go another night with no sleep. Wyatt told me to just grab my shit and at least get halfway moved in with her today. So after working all day, I packed a bag full of what meager belongings I own and now I’m standing at her front door waiting for her to come home. Wyatt dropped me off a few minutes ago with a promise to swing by and grab me before work in the morning.

  When her car pulls into the driveway, I hold my breath as she shifts it into park and her eyes find mine. She stays in her vehicle for a few moments, but I don’t go to her. I wait. She’ll have to come to me.

  Her coming toward me goes against everything in my nature, but with Channing, I’m doing things opposite of what I would normally do—at least for the first time. After that, I’ll take her however I decide. The first time though, it has to be her coming to me.

  She slowly exits her car, carrying a small bag in her hand. I glance down and grin. The container is telling, I immediately know it’s ice cream.

  “What are you doing here?” she asks on a breathless whisper. It’s one of the sweetest sounds I’ve ever heard. I wonder if that’s how she sounds when she comes?

  “Slept like shit last night. I need a good night’s sleep to get any work done. So I’m moving in a bit early,” I shrug.

  “Moving in a bit early,” she repeats.

  She looks down at her bag, then back up to me and her face pales. I know what she’s thinking. She doesn’t have enough food for me, honest to fuck I don’t need to eat. I’ve gone to bed hungry more nights than full.

  I wait for her to walk up the steps, closer to me. Reaching out, I wrap my hand around her waist and tug her against my chest. “Don’t worry about feeding me, sweetheart. We’ll go grocery shopping Friday when I get paid and stock up,” I murmur, lowering my head.

  Running my nose alongside her own, I inhale her scent, needing to take her inside of me anyway I can. She whimpers, but it’s so soft that I doubt she realizes she’s done it. Fuck, I want her. I won’t last the night without at least having a taste of her sweetness.

  “I’m melting,” she breathes.

  I grunt, closing my eyes for just a moment. I know she’s talking about her ice cream, but my dick doesn’t. My cock wants her cunt to melt all the way around, squeeze, and milk it dry.

  Fuck.

  Forcing myself to take a step backward, I watch as she unlocks the door then walks inside. Picking up my small bag, I follow behind her and close the door, then lock it. She walks into the kitchen, but I force myself not to follow. Instead, I set my bag down next to the sofa and look around the place again.

  “It’s not much,” she says softly as she walks back into the living area.

  Lifting my chin, I look over at her. “Better than my last accommodations, other than Wyatt’s,” I wink.

  “How did you get there? Prison I mean,” she asks, keeping her voice soft and sweet.

  Lowering my gaze to the floor, I inhale deeply and wonder how much I should tell her. Full disclosure seems like too much. Lifting my eyes back to her innocent ones, I let out a heavy breath. I’ll tell her as much as I can, without it being too much. I don’t want to upset her, at least that’s what I tell myself. In reality, I don’t want her to hate me, to find me repulsive or disgusting—I don’t want her to see me the way that I see myself.

  “I was driving drunk. I hit another car with mine, and the driver died. A woman,” I rasp.

  Saying the words out loud makes my stomach clench. I watch Channing and the way she reacts to my confession. First is surprise, then obvious disappointment. I wait for disgust, but it doesn’t come. Instead, I see something akin to sadness, pity even.

  “If that’s pity in your eyes, I don’t want it,” I bark.

  Her lips twitch and she shakes her head once. “Not pity. Just, s
adness. For the woman, her family, and you,” she murmurs.

  “Me?”

  Channing nods. She lifts her hand and cups my jaw. Her thumb runs along my bottom lip and I try not to show a reaction to her touch, but I fail. My body shudders, and my cock presses against the zipper of my jeans, begging to be freed.

  “You,” she murmurs, her big blue eyes looking up at me.

  Lifting my hand, I wrap my fingers around her wrist and hold onto her. I suck her finger between my lips, grunting at the taste of her. It doesn’t curb my appetite, in fact, it does the exact opposite. Releasing her thumb, I lean forward and my lips hover above her own, and the amount of restraint I have to keep in check so that I don’t slam them against hers is colossal.

  “Don’t feel sorry or sad for me, not ever. I deserved five years, I deserved more actually, and I consider myself as someone who got off easy,” I murmur. Her eyes widen and her breathing quickens. “I don’t deserve an ounce of your sadness. Never.”

  I don’t let her respond, instead, I take from her. I promised myself that I wouldn’t. I kiss her, tasting all of her that I can. She moans, and it’s sexy as fuck in the back of her throat. Moving my hands to her hips, I hold onto her, pulling her against my chest. I take and take, and fucking take from her.

  I’m selfish as fuck. The most selfish man on this goddamn earth. I shouldn’t be doing this, I swore to myself that I wouldn’t just moments ago.

  Thing is? I’m a fucking liar.

  Always have been.

  Always will be.

  Chapter Nine

  CHANNING

  I should push him away. I should tell him to stop. I should do a lot of things. I don’t do any of them. What I do is press my palms against his hard chest and moan a little louder. Rylan’s fingers grip my hips and I wish they would move lower, or higher. I wish they would roam all over my body. I know his rough calloused fingers are going to feel amazing against my skin.

  “Rylan,” I breathe when he breaks the kiss slowly. He nibbles on my bottom lip, as though he doesn’t want to pull away from me, and I don’t want him to. Not ever.

  He grunts. “I shouldn’t have done this.”

  Lifting my hands, I wrap them around his biceps, afraid he’s going to walk away from me, afraid he’s going to turn around and leave. I didn’t think it was possible to want a man I barely know. I want him, though. I want all of him, and I want him now.

  Looking up at him, I blink a few times and inhale deeply before letting it out on a sigh. “I shouldn’t either, but here we are. Don’t go,” I beg.

  His light brown eyes search my own. I don’t know what he sees in my gaze, but whatever it is, he nods. He makes a decision, internally. He doesn’t voice it, whatever it is, and I’m too nervous to ask him what it could be. I gasp when he leans down, his face moving closer to mine and he nips my bottom lip.

  “Promised myself I wouldn’t touch you. Swore it, in fact,” he informs me.

  I bite my bottom lip, my eyes staying focused on his. “But?” I chance.

  “I’m a fucking liar,” he exhales. “A goddamn liar.” He wraps his arm around my thighs, beneath my ass and picks my feet up off of the ground.

  Without a word, his eyes stay connected to mine as he walks us toward my bedroom. My heart races, it pounds so hard and fast in my chest, I’m sure that Rylan can hear it beating. If he does, he doesn’t say anything. His eyes intently stare into mine, darkening with each step he takes toward my room.

  “You can tell me no. I may not like that, but I’ll survive it,” he states. “Barely,” he smirks.

  Moving my hands from his biceps, I wrap my fingers around his neck. He watches me, holding me suspended in the air, waiting for me to speak. “I shouldn’t want you,” I murmur. Disappointment flashes in his eyes. Leaning forward, I brush my lips across his. “But I do. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I do you,” I shamelessly admit.

  He slowly releases me, my entire body slides down the front of his. I moan as my breasts move down his chest, the sensation of fabric and pressure against my nipples which causes desire to surge throughout my entire body.

  “I want to take from you, to own you,” he growls before his lips touch mine. I grip his neck, rubbing my breasts against his hard chest to alleviate some of the ache.

  When he breaks the kiss, his lips travel down my throat, stopping at my collarbone.

  “Take me, Rylan. Take from me. Please,” I shamelessly beg.

  He grunts, taking a step back. My eyes open, finding his and I hold my breath. “You’ll tell me if I hurt you in any way. I’ll stop, swear to fuck, Channing,” he promises.

  Nodding, I bite the corner of my lip. He’s sweet, already he’s sweeter than James ever was to me. Whatever it means to take from me, he can have it. I give willingly to him, and I’ll probably regret even thinking this, but right now I would give him just about anything. The way he’s looking at me, the way he makes me feel, he can have whatever he wants.

  “You won’t hurt me.”

  He lifts a brow as his lips twitch. “Okay,” he murmurs. “On the bed, sweetheart,” he orders.

  It’s a low husky order, his voice dipping and his eyes flaring with that mischievous look I’m used to seeing from him. My entire body shivers with excitement. My nipples press even harder against my bra, and slowly, I sit on the edge of the bed.

  Rylan takes a step forward, then another. I widen my legs when he doesn’t stop at my knees. Only when his legs are pressed against the center of my jeans and my thighs are spread wide does he stop moving. He lifts his hand, pressing it to the center of my chest and slowly slides it down until he stops at my belly.

  Lifting my eyes up to his, I wait. He’s focused on my stomach, his fingers flexing against me. Then he grips the material of my shirt and slowly tugs it up over my stomach and then over my head. His hand returns to my belly and I suck in a breath.

  He doesn’t move, he’s frozen as he stares at me.

  “Rylan?” I ask after a few moments of silence. He lifts his gaze to mine, and whatever he’s thinking, it’s unreadable. I wait, staring into his brown eyes, I wait for him to say something, anything.

  “I’ll take care of you, Channing. Both of you. Swear to fuck, you are safe with me,” he promises.

  I nod. Unsure of what to say, my throat is closed tightly, so I can’t speak even if I want to at this point. He sits back on his knees, wrapping both of his hands around my legs and closing them. I gasp when his fingers find the button on my jeans and slowly he pops it, then he tugs the zipper down. Before I fully realize what’s happened, I’m in nothing but my bra and panties. He slides his hands up the outsides of my thighs, his fingers hooking in my panties, his eyes never moving from my own.

  “Lift, sweetheart,” he urges.

  Automatically, I lift my hips for him. He pulls my panties down my legs, so achingly slowly that I wonder if he’ll do everything this way? I hope he does. It’s the most sensual feeling in the entire world. James was always so fast. He fucked hard and fast, not really caring about me at all. This is so different. So much more thrilling, and exciting, than anything else I’ve ever experienced.

  Rylan places one of his hands between my knees and applies pressure. I open my legs for him, redness assuredly creeping up my chest and cheeks. His gaze leaves my own and focuses on my center. Embarrassed I try to close my legs, but he doesn’t allow me.

  “Nobody’s ever… you’re too close,” I breathe.

  His eyes snap up to mine. “What do you mean, nobody’s ever?” he barks harshly.

  I jump slightly, shaking my head. “Other than my doctor, nobody has ever looked. Down there,” I whisper.

  He frowns, moving even closer. I hold my breath when his fingers slowly slide down the insides of my thighs. When he reaches my center, I let out my breath in a long sigh. His finger slides through me then swirls my clit.

  “Rylan,” I whimper.

  He leans forward, and I try to close my legs, but his shoulder
s are too wide. His mouth is suddenly on me and I let out a squeal. He chuckles, the warm air fanning over my body, which causes me to replace that squeal with a moan.

  My legs automatically open wider. I need more of him, so much more. His tongue swirls my clit, and I gasp as I fall back against the mattress.

  Closing my eyes, I arch my back, pressing myself closer to his face. He growls, his teeth scraping against my clit. He sucks me, his tongue flicking, and it’s the most exhilarating feeling in the world. I’ve never felt anything like this before, the rush that flows through me feels almost as amazing as his mouth does.

  “I’m, something is happening,” I whimper, shaking my head from side to side. It feels like I’m going to climax, but nothing has felt this big before. The pressure building is more than I’ve ever experienced on my own.

  He growls again, his tongue working my clit, then he slips two fingers inside of me, moving them until my entire body starts to shake without my control. “Oh, God. Oh my God,” I cry.

  Rylan continues to lap at my center, his fingers slowly fucking me until my entire body turns into a limp pile of mush. “Christ,” he curses against my skin as his lips travel up my body.

  I feel his mouth, my skin is hyperaware of his body against mine. The way his clothes feel against my flesh, the way his lips taste me. The way his tongue swirls before he nips me. “Rylan,” I groan. He chuckles, then his weight is off of me, and so is his mouth.

  My eyes pop open, my head lifting. He reaches behind him with one hand, then the way guys do so effortlessly, I watch as he tugs his shirt off with one hand. My mouth goes dry at the sight of his chest. It isn’t bare, not in the slightest. Every inch of him is covered in predominantly black tattoos. There are some dark deep colors mixed in, but almost everything is black and grey shading. They are breathtaking.

  When his pants drop to the floor, my eyes immediately, without thought, travel down to his hips. I forget to look at his ink, especially when he hooks his thumbs in his tight boxer briefs and pulls them down his lean thighs.