Pretend You’re Mine
Page 6
The way her hips were pressing into mine with every thrust – how Naomi was fucking me just as much as I was fucking her. Like she didn’t just want me, she needed me. Needed me to fill her and stretch her and bring her such intense pleasure she’d never want to let me go.
And those noises of hers; almost animalistic, purely instinctual.
The moans that spilled from her perfect lips were about to undo me.
And then, seized by a sudden impulse, I took her face in my hands. Already, I could feel my self-control slipping, my orgasm on its way, but I didn’t care.
“Look at me,” I told her.
Her half-lidded eyes gaped at me, her lips parted. I kissed her hard, my tongue pressing in as I pumped into her over and over.
And then, all of her was shuddering. She was wailing into my mouth, but I wasn’t finished yet.
I pulled away and looked down at her. “Open your eyes Naomi,” I said to her.
She obliged, her eyes glassy from her orgasm. I continued to stare down at her as I plunged in again and again. Her fingers closed around my shoulders and her legs tightened around my waist as she began to build to another climax. Her eyes rolled and she almost closed them again, but I stopped her. I wanted her to watch me come inside of her. To know that this part of her was mine now. I couldn’t explain it, I just knew that it had to be that way.
“No, no, baby. Keep your eyes on me,” I growled.
She struggled to keep her eyes open as her orgasm built. She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and I came undone. With one great thrust I spilled inside the rubber and her pussy clamped down around my cock, milking it for everything I had.
Afterward, I held her against me and slipped into a deep sleep, unwilling to think about the implications of what we’d just done.
9
Naomi
Mornings were the worst. In those first few seconds of wakefulness, when my eyes were closed, I wondered at the dream I’d just had. Xander taking me out and then us making love again – really fan-fucking-tastic sex at that. Dream on, girlfriend. It was like déjà vu.
Opening my eyes, I saw his imprint on the bed and then felt a dropping sensation in my chest as everything came back to me. Last night’s succulent salmon and the chocolate pudding cake we fed to each other, the feel of the chocolate goodness sliding down my throat, the feel of his lips on mine, his hands around me.
I lay there for a minute, hopeful, and cursing myself for it. There was no sign or sound of Xander from anywhere. He’d gone without a word of goodbye. Checking my phone confirmed it – that jerk really had left without so much as a ‘Got to run, will talk later’.
As I eased myself to my feet, I pulled on the first shirt I could find and staggered out into the kitchen.
Why couldn’t I have just listened to my instincts and not slept with him again? Now, I felt crappier than ever and … Was that bacon?
Sure enough, Xander was poised over the stove, tending to some bacon and eggs. Not gone at all. Somehow, my half deaf ears hadn’t heard that he was actually still here – and cooking me breakfast to boot.
As I stood there staring at him, Xander turned to take me in with a smile. “What?”
“Just I….” There were about five different things I wanted to say, and I had words for none of them. “Breakfast?”
“Yeah, normally at home I have my personal chef deliver it to me on a gold-plated tray in bed, but I thought I’d slum it this time.” He winked.
“That’s top-grade bacon, I’ll have you know.” I gestured at the slabs of bacon he had sizzling on one frying pan, then to the other. “And those eggs are from a golden organic chicken.” We both cracked up at that.
“Whatever it is,” he said, “Smells damn good. This is nice, too. Normally, I’m in such a rush, I just grab a doughnut from whatever place is open and on the way.”
“Me too,” I said, checking my phone.
“Have to run?” Xander said.
“I’ve got an hour,” I said. Luckily, I’d had the foresight not to book any clients at eight A.M., knowing how much I despised mornings.
“What about you?” I asked.
Xander shook his head. “Decided to take a half day today.”
“Oh,” I said. Don’t you even think about it, I told myself. Don’t you dare even think about why he did that. “Any reason?”
He shrugged. “Got a family dinner planned for tonight. Turns out they decided to come early, and I need to clean my place.”
“Oh.” I sat down at the kitchen table, fiddling with a fork I’d left there yesterday. “Were you going to….”
“I know it’s super last-minute,” he said. “So, if you can’t go, that’s completely fine.”
“What time is it?” I asked.
“The dinner’s at eight-thirty.” He rolled his eyes. “My parents always love to say that later dinner is classier. No matter the fact that I get hungry enough to eat a couch cushion waiting.”
I laughed. “Sounds awful.”
“It is.” Now Xander was rifling through the cupboards for plates.
“Not that one,” I told him, “Two doors down.”
Soon, we were sitting down at my circular kitchen table with our plates of bacon and eggs in front of us, Xander right smack beside me. My face and chest flushed with a feeling I didn’t want to name. I picked up the glass of orange juice he’d poured for me and took a sip, trying to cool myself off.
Calm down girl, I told myself. Don’t get any ideas.
We were silent for a minute. Xander picked his bacon before setting his fork down. “Listen Naomi.”
“I got it,” I said, holding up a hand to stop him. “This is just casual. Last night was great. There’s no point in making it more than it is. Neither of us is in a place settle down anytime soon.”
Although I had gone into saying the words with the intention of sounding like a strong, independent woman, after I said them, I was left feeling empty and paper-thin; like a papier-mâché figurine whose creator had just left her to start on a new piece.
Xander nodded hastily, not looking as pleased as I would’ve thought. “You look good in my shirt.”
I glanced down and smiled. “I really do, don’t I?” I teased.
Xander’s fingers smoothed down the collar, and I could’ve sworn there was real affection in those eyes. “It’s okay,” he said. “You can keep it. Looks better on you.”
“What, are you going to walk out of here and drive home shirtless?” I was busy unbuttoning it, when I remembered I had nothing on underneath.
Xander raised his eyebrows and a devilish smile came over his face. “Right here? Right now?”
For half a beat, I actually considered it, letting him kiss me straight on the lips, letting his hand go between the two lapels of the shirt that was now half unbuttoned. But at the last minute, I turned my cheek and got up.
“Be right back,” I said.
I quickly threw on some sweats and rejoined him in the dining room. When I came out, Xander made a distinctly displeased face.
“You don’t like my best sweats?” I said innocently.
Xander’s gaze roved to my ass. “Now that you mention it, your butt looks.…”
“Let us focus on breakfast,” I cut him off.
“Got it, Captain,” he said with a grin.
As we got eating, I couldn’t even take my own advice. My gaze kept flitting to him irresistibly, taking in his big-pupiled eyes and upturned mouth corners. Xander really was different when you got to know him better. Less closed off, more relaxed. Even a bit silly.
The rest of the hour whipped by with more conversation, as easy as if Xander and I really were dating for real. Before I knew it, my phone was beeping that it was time to go.
Xander hurried to the door first. “Sorry,” he said. “You probably don’t want me here hanging around your place when you’re gone. Anyway, I’m due back to give Walter a walk.”
When he leaned in for a kiss, my lips pa
rted eagerly. But then his kiss went on my cheek.
“Bye,” he said, “Had a great time. See you tonight.”
“See you tonight,” I said hollowly, watching as he left.
What the hell had just happened? After last night and this morning, I’d figured that … No. I wasn’t going to go there. There was no point in getting my hopes up. This was just an arrangement. Xander’s cheek kiss had shown me that.
Anyway, it was time to get to work. That was one thing I could not afford to screw up.
10
Xander
All the cleaning to do, and no peace of mind to do it. I stood in my doorway and scowled at the months’ worth of dust that had arrived while I’d been rushing about working. If my family had come when they’d said they were going to, my plan of having my maid Cecelia deal with the mess would have worked swimmingly.
Instead, Papa had excitedly texted me yesterday about the earlier flight they’d managed to snag. So, it was up to me to clean.
Despite the time-sensitivity of the task ahead, my mind was still weirdly fuzzy after that morning with Naomi. I needed to clear my head.
Walter trotted up to greet me happily. Clearly my neighbor Paula had been good to her word. When I’d given a spare key to and asked the older spinster, whose favorite hobbies were wandering about the hallways and gossiping to anyone who’d listen, to stop in and check on Walter, I’d had my doubts. But last night and this morning had been her trial run, and if Walter’s good spirits were any indication, then she’d done great.
Anyway, if Walter was up for it, I was ready for a run.
A few minutes later, the two of us were racing outside on the nature trail behind my building. As cool air raced up through my nostrils, and hot air puffed out of my lips, I could feel the buzzing in my mind lifting. Yes, a run was just what I needed.
And yet, as my Nikes pounded into the gravel, I realized that I couldn’t get Naomi out of my mind.
How good she felt in my arms this morning when I woke up earlier than she did and had her nestled against my chest tightly. How peaceful she was when she was still asleep, the way the golden light played on her eyelashes.
How much I’d wanted to kiss her and be inside of her again.
I paused, frowning. Walter raced ahead, giving me a bark to say hurry the hell up, but I stayed where I was. I didn’t want to run, didn’t want to do anything before I figured this out. Before I made the decision once and for all. This was just an arrangement. Whatever feelings I was developing for Naomi, were just a result of that arrangement, nothing more. She knew that, and I knew that. Even if not, the last thing Naomi needed was to be with someone like me.
My decision made, I headed home. Back at my place, I got cleaning in a frenzy. I’d barely finished when, at 4:55, there was a knock on my door. Naomi stood there looking breathtaking in an emerald green dress that brought out the gleam in her eyes.
“You look great,” I said.
Too great, I inwardly added.
Although Naomi’s knee-length dress wasn’t revealing, it showed off her slim figure and graceful arms beautifully.
“Thanks,” she said.
I paused, looking at her. Really, I should’ve been getting dressed, but there was something about her demeanor that had changed.
“So,” she said in a cool tone. “You said they’d be here in fifteen minutes, right?”
I squared my shoulders. “Right. I’ll go get dressed now.”
In my room, as I buttoned up the purple shirt my family all loved, I talked myself out of the disappointment singing through me. Naomi had come, that was the important part. So what if she’d gone a bit cold? That was for the best.
Less than ten minutes later, the first one to arrive was my nosy Aunt Edna, her nose in the air like a terrier sniffing out anything interesting.
Her gaze alighted on Naomi. “So, this is the new wife? The mystery woman.” She wobbled over to her and focused her ginormous nose up at Naomi much like Walter would a new guest. “You must tell me all about your secrets, spur of the moment elopement.” She cast me a dark glare. “My horrid nephew didn’t breathe a word of it to any of us until a few days ago! We didn’t even know you existed!”
Naomi assumed a smile so believable it was heartbreaking. “Oh, that’s just like Xander. We met one night out almost a year ago when we were with friends and, well, it’s been a bit of a whirlwind since then.”
As Aunt Edna latched on to her and they sat down in the living room, I hovered by, uncertain. But then the door burst open with more family members, and I was called back to play the gracious host.
Everyone was in a flurry of hugging everyone else. Although most of my family was stationed in Germany, not all of them were. Not to mention that, as far as they were concerned, even a week-long absence was cause for a great celebration once you were back and got to see everyone again. That was my family for you. Family was first, plain and simple.
“But you’ve lost weight!” Mama said, patting at my sides as if to confirm this.
“I’ve been going to the gym,” I said.
“He’s not a fat boy anymore, can’t you see that Miriam?” Papa boomed, giving my back a slap. He leaned in to shake my hand. “She’s a beauty, son. I would say congratulations, but I don’t know her yet.” He gave a great he-hawing laugh. “It’s good to see you.”
“It’s good to see you all too,” I said.
As much grief as they caused me, my family was still my family.
Right now, everyone was busy oohing and awing over the Mediterranean food I’d had catered and set up on my massive extendable dining room table.
My family weren’t exactly the greatest Germans. While they loved their beers much as anyone, their favorite was Mediterranean food – chicken shish kabobs to be exact.
The preliminary part of the get-together went smoothly. Although just about every person I encountered had something to say about my spur-of-the-moment marriage.
“You wicked boy,” Aunt Edna said, now latched on to me, having sucked all the information she could glean out of Naomi. “Having a wedding and not inviting your family! I think you should have another one, to include all of us.”
“Your aunt is right,” Papa said, surprising since he hated Aunt Edna with a passion. “What is a wedding if not an excuse to celebrate?”
Beside me, Naomi’s face had gone white, while mine probably didn’t look much better. “We’re not having another wedding,” I announced over the clambering ruckus of voices. I took Naomi’s hand and squeezed. “One was enough for us, thank you.”
Amongst the unappeased muttering, there were a few good-natured chuckles.
When the meal finally began, I found myself trapped between my mom and dad.
“I can see why you like her,” Mama said to me in an undertone, indicating Naomi. My supposed wife was talking to my cousin Frederick, and she looked to be having a bit too good of a time. A sharp stab of jealousy pinged in my gut.
“She’s very beautiful,” Mama was saying. “And sweet. Even Aunt Edna couldn’t find anything to bitch about.”
“That is something,” I admitted.
Trust Aunt Edna to find anything she could to discredit the marriage she wasn’t present at. Luckily, I’d stationed my dear aunt at the far end of the table where she was harassing two of my cousins about their current life goal situations, leaving me and Naomi to enjoy our meals somewhat in peace. Although my dad wasn’t exactly making that easy.
“You have a great amount of golf courses here boy,” Papa was booming. “We’ll have to go sometime.”
“I’m pretty busy with work, Papa,” I said, spooning some rice into my mouth.
“Work,” Papa said derisively. “The family is only here once a year, and you can’t take time off?”
“Maybe,” I said, knowing that it was the only way to shut him up. Maybe I was being hard on him, but after what I’d found out last year, I could barely take looking at him.
As the nigh
t wore on, the tension that had gathered in my shoulders from the moment the door had opened with Aunt Edna gradually dissipated. I had to give it to her, Naomi was great. More than great, she was perfect. She seemed to know just the right notes to hit with my mom and my dad and the rest of the family too.
By the time my last cousin wandered out, still holding her half-finished beer and waving with a woozy smile, Naomi already had her purse strap hiked over her shoulder.
“Leaving so soon?” I asked.
Naomi and I hadn’t had much time to talk with all my family everywhere, but when we had it had been nice, like before, light, jokey. As if we really were this happy couple we were pretending to be.
Right now, as if all that had been a mask that she’d stripped away, Naomi looked at me with eyes that had zero feeling in them. “I have to get up for work tomorrow,” she said. “Goodnight Xander.”
And then I was left looking at the white panel door that had closed for the final time and wondering what it meant that that look in her eyes had made me feel sad and hollow.
11
Naomi
“What you mean, you don’t know?”
Teren gaped at me as though I’d seriously suggested that Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion should have been an Oscar winner.
“I mean just that. Things with Xander got a bit messy, and….”
“Messy?” Teren demanded. “You slept with the man, and now admit you may be crushing on him - the guy you’re ‘just’ in a real/fake marriage arrangement with to fool his parents. And ours.”
“Shh.” I told Teren, leaning in.
A look around Fran’s found that the few other patrons, a couple who seemed to be more interested in their phones than each other, as well as a family of disgruntled children, hadn’t seemed to notice. Having my younger brother go at me about my life choices was one thing, having them aired out in a fast food restaurant was another.