The answer sat on the tip of her tongue, but she didn’t have the courage to say those words. Instead, she opened her eyes, framed his face between both hands and brought his mouth to hers. She kissed him hard, desperation sliding into every stroke of her tongue against his. She felt as if she’d been starving for air, and he was oxygen. He was her whole world in that moment, the only one who mattered. Her weaknesses, the lack of evidence, the night she’d walked away. None of it existed inside the bubble they’d created. Him. She needed him.
He leveraged his injured arm on the other side of her head, then latched on to her hip before his fingers moved beneath her shirt. Eyes—brighter than the clear blue sky—roamed down the length of her body, and every cell she owned heightened as though he’d physically touched her. “You are the strongest, most dedicated and beautiful woman I’ve ever known, and you deserve someone who’s going to treat you like the queen you are, who will put your needs first and make you happy for the rest of your life.”
“You make me happy.” Her admission slipped past her lips without her permission, but she couldn’t take it back now. She wouldn’t. Because it was the truth. The three months they’d been together all those years ago had been the best of her life. Until now. These past few days, seeing him again, seeing him as a father to an amazing little girl and how dedicated he was to protect his children, had shifted something inside her. Opened up a lifetime of possibility she’d never considered before. Given her hope.
A slow smile stretched his lips thin. “You make me happy, too.”
Carving a path through his beard with her fingernails, she lifted her mouth to his. What their mutual admission meant for the future, if they even had one, Ana didn’t know, but excitement coursed through her as she committed herself to finding out and chased back the fear burning through her. She’d spent her career dedicated to saving as many victims of violence as she could, put her entire life on hold to give them a chance to live the rest of theirs, but maybe she’d finally sacrificed enough to make up for her past. Maybe it was time for her to take that same chance she’d battled so hard to give to the victims who’d been taken. With him. With Owen and Olivia. “We have the house to ourselves now.”
“Believe me, that’s all I’ve been thinking about since we finished running through the Britland Construction employee directory.” His voice graveled, warming her from the inside. He hauled her off the bed, careful of her injuries, and carried her into the attached bathroom. The same gray wood-like tile directed them toward a large open shower set at the farthest end of the space. Sharp layers of stone and rock made up the back wall of the shower, two square rainshower heads lighting up as Benning twisted on the water. In seconds he’d stripped himself, discarding his clothing outside the reach of the water pooling at their feet, and closed in on her. All predator. All hers. Ridges and valleys of muscle carved shadows across his abdomen, and her mouth watered. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for seven years.”
Slowly pulling her shirt over her head to avoid the pain in her chest and shoulder, Ana gasped as he swept her under the shower spray with most of her clothes still on. A laugh escaped up her throat as she slid her now-wet hair out of her face. “You couldn’t wait five more seconds?”
He kissed her again, his body pressed against the length of hers. “Not for you.”
* * *
HE COULDN’T SLEEP, couldn’t take his eyes off her, and after what they’d shared over the past three days, he knew why. He’d fallen in love with her all over again. This intelligent, confident, beautiful creature who’d slipped in and out of his life. But this time he wasn’t going to let go. Chasing Olivia down with cookie dough at the safe house, sharing his bed with his daughter sandwiched between them, gasping his name as he’d memorized her body all over again in the privacy of the shower last night. It was as though she was already part of their lives, and, damn it, he didn’t want to lose her again. Couldn’t.
Long, dark eyelashes rested against her cheeks, but the change in her breathing patterns homed his attention to the light brown flawless skin of her neck and chest visible above the sheets. “I can feel you staring at me.”
Pain filtered through his nerve endings and he realized he’d propped himself up on the wrong arm for a mere chance of seeing her clearly. “Does Quantico train all their agents in the art of having a sixth sense, or just you?”
“You don’t need to flirt with me.” Hazel-green eyes centered on his as her smile pierced straight through him. Leveraging her elbow into her pillow, mirroring him, she rested her head against her palm. And in that moment the woman he’d built in his head was more beautiful and mesmerizing than ever before. Exactly where she belonged. “You’ve already seduced me with your good looks.”
“Is that all it takes?” He couldn’t keep his laugh to himself, brushing one hand down his beard. “Damn. Wish I would’ve known that before now. Could’ve saved me a lot of time and frustration.”
“Don’t get me wrong, the free cookie crumbs in the sheets and the rainfall showerheads are a bonus.” Skimming her hand across his chest, she shifted closer, her lips barely grazing his as she traced the muscled lines of his abdomen below the sheets. Instant desire seared through him, and he half expected his daughter to interrupt the moment, but the cabin remained silent. “I’m starting to wish we hadn’t wasted so much time apart.”
He closed his eyes. “Ana, I—”
Her phone vibrated from the nightstand, and she set her forehead against his chest. Reality penetrated through the haze they’d created since he’d witnessed her coming to terms with the past in the middle of his kitchen last night, and guilt ripped through him. He couldn’t lie to himself. He’d needed the distraction from the case—from the anxiety he’d never find his son—as much as Ana had, and he wouldn’t regret that, but they couldn’t ignore their respective duties any longer. He needed to find his son, and she needed to find the SOB responsible for taking him. She reached for the phone before the device dipped off the edge of his nightstand, tapped the screen and brought it to her ear. “Ramirez.”
Benning slipped from the bed, reaching for his clothes. He couldn’t hear the voice on the other end of the line but imagined if there’d been news on his son’s location, she’d get the message across.
“Are you sure?” The color drained from her face. Her attention drifted to him, and everything inside him tensed. Ana pinned her phone between her shoulder and ear as she rushed to get dressed. “I’m on my way. Have the director get in touch with Claire Winston again. I want her found. Now.” Ana ended the call, and the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. Something was happening. “That was Evan—Agent Duran. The forensic lab was working on identifying the owner of the skull, but when they went to compare dental records, they noticed something had been locked between the victim’s teeth on the X-rays.”
“Locked?” Intentionally or forced? Didn’t matter. Whatever it was, it could lead them to the next step in this case, the next step to finding Owen. His throat dried as she bolted from the bed and started getting dressed. “What did they find?”
“A scales of justice charm. Exactly like the one we recovered from your property after Jo West’s body was found in the fireplace.” She slowed, facing him, her boots pinched in her grip. “So now we have two. One could belong to Samantha Perry and the other—”
“To her best friend. Claire Winston.” Hell. Were they about to find another body? Benning sank onto the edge of the mattress, the past few hours evaporating as though they’d never happened. How many more people had to die before they were able to bring this bastard down? How many more had to suffer? “You want Claire found in case she’s another victim. I thought your director confirmed she’s serving with her unit in Afghanistan.”
“As far as I know, that’s the truth, but it wouldn’t be hard to get someone to cover for her. And the army hasn’t always been forthcoming about admitting one of
their soldiers might be missing in action,” she said.
“Why would she...” That didn’t make sense. If Samantha Perry’s best friend from high school had been targeted by the killer, how would she know she needed to lie about her whereabouts? Benning stood, his instincts screaming. “They got an ID on the skull, didn’t they?”
“Yes.” She tightened her broken hand around the phone but didn’t even seem to notice the pain. “They were able to match both DNA from the bone marrow and dental records to Harold Wood.”
Gravity cemented him in place. Samantha Perry’s killer.
His mouth dried. “You think Claire might be involved in Owen’s kidnapping?”
“I’ve seen people kill for much less than getting revenge for a best friend who never saw justice. Shoving a charm Samantha Perry wore up until her death in the mouth of her killer is personal. It’s sending a message, and it’s possible Claire is the one behind it.” Ana’s voice dropped, almost monotone, as the agent he’d gotten to know over the past few days surfaced. “But if Claire Winston is involved, she’s not working alone. The attacker at the safe house was male. Trained, possibly former military. She’d have an extensive network of possible partners from her unit alone. All she’d have to do is convince one of them to help her get justice for Samantha.”
“Claire killed Harold Wood and hid his body—or what was left of it—on the construction site, and I uncovered the evidence. She knew the charm and motive would link back to her if he was ever found.” He pushed off the bed. Tension bled back into his shoulders and hands as the puzzle pieces started fitting together. “That’s why my son has been kidnapped? So she wouldn’t have to answer for the fact she killed her best friend’s murderer?”
“We don’t know that yet, Benning.” She hauled the black duffel bag always within reach onto the bed, and dumped a box of bullets onto the sheets, and reloaded the magazine to her new service weapon. She was far more comfortable around a weapon than he was, and damn, he was thankful for it now. “We have to get to Claire’s house. There might be something there we can use to prove she’s involved, but we have to go now. The skull you pulled from the wall has been identified. Whoever took your son is going to try to make sure we can’t connect his death back to them.”
Benning studied how quickly she was able to assemble her weapon and holster it, even with a broken trigger finger wrapped in a brace and tape. The air crushed from his lungs as the realization hit. Hell, he loved her. He loved the strong, badass agent who’d protected him and his daughter from a killer, the vulnerable woman who couldn’t forgive herself for her past failures. No matter how hard she tried to bury the side that made her more human, he loved her. Had never stopped loving her. He rounded to her side of the bed. “Ana, wait.”
He’d told her the truth before. He’d tried hating her, tried focusing on making his marriage with Lilly work despite the fact neither of them were interested in anything more than being parents to the kids they’d created. But his heart had always had other ideas. Something deep down understood that what he felt in this moment was real, and certainty clicked into place. He wanted Ana Sofia Ramirez. Wanted her in his life, in his kids’ lives, wanted her when times got hard, when she dropped her guard and especially when she tried to shut him out. He wanted every piece of her, and he didn’t give a damn about how much it might hurt in the long run. Loving her would be easy. The rest of it? They’d just have to figure it out together. As a family. But he had to protect his kids at the same time.
“There’s something I need to say to you first.” His stomach flipped. Would she even want the responsibility of being with a man who had kids? She’d gotten along well enough with Olivia because his daughter was borderline obsessed with what Ana did for a living, but she’d never met Owen. Would the kids want her around, or would they see her as nothing more than a replacement for what they’d lost the day they were born? Would her job put Owen and Olivia at risk? Would she detach herself from them when a case went sideways as she’d done to him all those years ago? This sure as hell wasn’t simple lust, but it was starting to turn more complicated all the same.
“Benning?” Ana maneuvered around the end of the bed, slowly closing the distance between them, and every nerve ending in his body went haywire. For her. Because of her. Handing him her backup weapon grip first, she stared up at him, concern etched into her expression.
“I want you to stay here after we recover Owen. With me,” he said. “With us.”
Her eyes widened, that legendary control failing her, and his heart jerked behind his rib cage at the pure emotion playing across her features. She dropped the weapon she’d offered him to her side as his request settled between them. Hesitation pulled her shoulders back as she prepared to run, but she couldn’t deny the connection between them, what they’d shared since she’d answered his request to work this case. “Benning, I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you forgive yourself and that you’ve done enough. Say you’ve saved enough lives to make up for the past, Ana.” His voice grew stronger as he became more sure of himself than he’d ever been before. “You deserve to be with someone who loves you. You deserve a life that doesn’t force you to detach yourself from everyone around you or that puts the people you care about at risk.” He took her free hand in his. “I love you, and I want to build a life with you. I want you to be around for Owen and Olivia, and answer calls from the school and help them learn and grow, but...”
He dropped his chin to his chest as he realized what he had to ask her to do. She’d already sacrificed so much for him and his kids. How could he possibly ask her for more?
Her thumb smoothed over the side of his hand. “But what?”
“I need to know you won’t hurt my kids the way you hurt me.” He forced himself to look at her. His insecurity, anxiety, his need for her support, all of it bubbled to the surface as though he was still the same guy who’d just discovered the woman he’d been seeing had requested a transfer back to Washington. “That you won’t leave without warning, that you won’t cut yourself off from them if another victim turns up dead.” Air caught in his throat. “I need you to quit the Tactical Crime Division.”
She sucked in a deep breath, her hand shaking in his. Seconds ticked by, a tension-strained minute, before she finally opened her mouth to respond. She tugged her hand from his, that invisible guard slamming back into place as her shoulders stiffened. “You love me, but you want me to choose between you and your family or my duty to save lives.”
“I know what I’m asking, and that this won’t be an easy choice for you, but as much as I want you in our lives, I also have to think of Owen and Olivia. I wasn’t strong enough to protect them from their abductor, and I won’t submit them to another layer of trauma if I can prevent it.” Benning read her decision as coldness swept over her expression, and the heat she’d ignited in his veins iced.
“You know why I do this job, why I push so hard. I can’t just give that up, Benning.” She took a step away from him, and the world threatened to rip out from under his feet. She was... She was choosing her job over him, over the twins. She was leaving. Again. “I’m sorry.”
He nodded, not really knowing what he was agreeing to, but it didn’t matter. He took the gun she’d offered, the steel heavy in his hands. They had a lead, and any ideas or fantasies about what kind of life he and Ana would have had to wait. “I guess that’s it, then. When this is over, you’ll go back to Knoxville, and I guess... I’ll finally have the chance to move on with my life.”
He maneuvered around her toward the bedroom door, the muscles in his jaw aching. Owen was still out there, and Benning wasn’t going to stop looking until he found him. With or without Ana at his side.
Chapter Twelve
Over an acre of uneven green grass stretched between them and the light gray rambler on Maplewood Circle. Sevierville PD’s SWAT team took position with a single wave of
Ana’s fingers toward the east side of the house as she, Agent JC Cantrell and Agent Evan Duran arced wide through a patch of trees at the opposite side of the property. No cars in the long driveway alongside the opposite end, nothing to suggest Claire Winston wasn’t in Afghanistan with her military unit as Director Pembrook had reported, but that didn’t mean someone wasn’t home. Or waiting.
The low crackling of static from the device in her ear kept her focused, her movements steady despite the pain in her leg. She’d left Benning in the SUV for his own protection with an armed officer, but knowing he was on the other side of that signal still didn’t settle her nerves. He’d asked her to give up a shot at redemption for the chance of being with him, with Owen and Olivia, a sacrifice he had no right to demand of her. She’d spent the past seven years trying to atone for her sins, and he just wanted her to walk away? To forget the people out there who needed her help?
She forced herself to focus. No matter what happened out here, he’d be safe. The wound in her chest ached as she pressed the stock of her rifle against her shoulder, but two bullets and a pane of broken glass wasn’t going to stop her from finding Benning’s son. Gravel crunched beneath her boots as she and her team slowly broke from the trees. “Our suspect has been trained in weapons and combat and has a .45 caliber Beretta M9 registered in her name. Eyes and ears open.”
“Copy that, Ramirez,” JC said.
Both JC and Evan had been military trained. If there was anyone from Tactical Crime Division she’d want at her side, it was them, but tension still crept across her shoulders as they closed in on the back door of the house. Red wood shudders groaned as a brush of wind barreled down the thin section of patio between the back door and the fence, and Ana raised her hand to signal the team to stop. The fence intersected with the back-east corner of the house, cutting off their access to the SWAT team and vice-versa. Her instincts screamed for her to get the hell out of there, but they hadn’t gotten the chance to search the house yet. They had to keep moving. Owen’s life depended on it. She motioned toward the back door. “Break it down.”
Midnight Abduction (Tactical Crime Division Book 3) Page 14
