Tales from Spenser, Chosen from the Faerie Queene

by Edmund Spenser

  BRAGGADOCHIO.

  Faerie Queene. Book II., Canto III.; Book III., Canto VIII.;Book IV., Cantos IV., V.; Book V., Canto III.

  Among the good and brave knights who fought in Faeryland was a false onenamed Braggadochio.

  Wandering aimlessly about the forests, this man had one day come upon anoble horse, fully caparisoned, and a spear lying by its side. Here washis chance! He made no endeavour to find the owner of the steed, butstraightway appropriated both horse and spear.

  Finding himself thus armed and mounted, his ambition rose; he determinedto call himself a knight, and to set out for the famous court ofGloriana.

  He had not gone far when he saw a man sitting idly on a sunny bank. Atthis Braggadochio puffed himself out in order to look grand, pricked onhis horse, and ran at the man full tilt. In terror the man fell flatupon the ground, and lifting up his hands, cried out piteously formercy. Thereupon Braggadochio thought himself a great warrior, andthundered at his victim in a loud voice, calling him all sorts of names,and commanding him to yield or die, adding that he might think himselfhappy to be permitted a choice.

  The man cried out that he yielded. Then Braggadochio told him, that ifhe would prostrate himself on the earth and kiss his stirrups he wouldaccept him as his thrall. Immediately the coward cringed at his feet,and did him homage as his liege lord.

  By-and-bye this craven thrall became emboldened, for he found outBraggadochio's character, and being full of cunning, resolved to keep inhis master's favour by humouring his vanity.

  So they went forth. Braggadochio the knight, and Trompart the squire, afitting pair.

  Very soon after they had cast in their fortunes together, they metArchimago, the great and cruel wizard. Now Archimago had a secret grudgeagainst certain knights, and was in search of some one to avenge hisfancied wrong. Delighted to see so imposing a personage as Braggadochio,he inquired of Trompart what mighty man this was that rode on a goldensaddle, yet carried no weapon save a single spear. Trompart replied thathis lord was a great adventurer, who had lost his sword in a hard fight,and had sworn never to wear another until he had avenged himself of hisloss. His master's spear, he alleged, was weapon enough to make athousand combatants quake.

  Archimago was much delighted, and he bowed low to Braggadochio, and toldthe story of his wrongs.

  When Braggadochio heard it, he pretended to be very angry, andthreatened the offending knights with instant death if Archimago wouldonly tell him where to find them. This the enchanter at once did; but hewarned Braggadochio that his enemies were two of the mightiest knightsthat lived, and begged him to arm himself with a sword as well as hisspear.

  But Braggadochio scorned his advice, laughed at the notion of measuringhis might by the arms he bore, and taunted the enchanter with theweakness of old age, declaring that Archimago little knew what his rightarm had done. At this the old man grew ashamed of his mistrust, yetcould not dismiss it from his mind.

  As he hesitated whether to speak again Braggadochio broke out into aloud boast, declaring that he had once slain seven knights with a singleblade, and had then sworn never again to wear a sword unless it werethat belonging to the noblest knight alive.

  By this grand speech he thought to get rid of Archimago and histroublesome request. But not so, for the enchanter at once promised tobring him by next day the flaming sword of Prince Arthur, "noblestknight alive"; and as he spoke he vanished, leaving no trace behind.

  And now the boaster began to fear, and to wonder who this strange manmight be. His wonder soon changed to panic, and the bold champions,Trompart and Braggadochio, fled from the spot as if the very groundArchimago had trod would rise and pursue them.

  They did not once look back until they reached a green forest, and therethey concealed themselves. But their terror was by no means gone: everyleaf that moved, every sound the wind made caused their valiant heartsto quake, while all the time they feigned that they were only pretendingfear.

  At length a shrill horn echoed through the wood, and some one was heardmoving quickly in the thicket. This new cause of fright so overcameBraggadochio that he tumbled hastily from his horse and crept into abush. Trompart waited to see what would happen. Presently there issuedfrom the brushwood a lady in hunting dress. She was very beautiful: herhabit was adorned with rich jewels, and her stately bearing showed herto be of princely birth. In her hand she carried a boar-spear, and ather back was slung a bow and a quiver full of steel headed darts.

  When Trompart saw the lady, fear seized upon him, and he could not tellwhether to flee away or to remain in hiding, but she soon spied him out,and asked whether he had seen a wounded hind pass by. Addressing her inmost respectful terms, Trompart replied that he had not, and then beggedof her to tell him which of the goddesses she was. She was on the pointof replying when something moved in the thicket. It was Braggadochio,but the damsel thought it was her prey, and, bending her bow, would havemade a speedy end of the boaster had not Trompart stayed her hand, andexplained that his lord, far-famed for bold achievement, lay shroudedthere.

  As he spoke Braggadochio crept forth on hands and knees; then, rising upboldly, shook his helmet fiercely, trying to appear as if he had justbeen awakened from deep slumber. The sight of her beauty restored him toself-confidence, and he was beginning to resume airs of vanity when avision of the weapons she carried cowed him. Her manner, however, againreassured him. She addressed him as a companion-in-arms, andBraggadochio, taking up the strain, recounted the wondrous deeds he haddone, then boldly asked who she was that thus ranged the forest and didnot dwell at court. To this she replied, that honour was only truly tobe found in toil, and that he who idled at home need not hope to win it.

  While she spoke Braggadochio, presuming on her graciousness, grew moreand more insolent in his demeanour. Indignant, the goddess bent herjavelin threateningly, then turned and fled apace. Braggadochio was atfirst dismayed, but was far too great a coward to pursue. So, concludingthat he had better depart lest worse things should befall, he mountedhis steed and rode away in so clumsy and untrained a manner that thenoble animal chafed under him, and yearned to be eased of his burden.

  Some time after this, as Braggadochio and Trompart, who now alsopossessed a steed, were going on their way, they saw a rude rusticseated on the roadside by a beautiful lady, richly decked with jewels.Now, these were no other than the false Florimell and her lover, son ofthe old witch who had sent the cruel beast after Florimell the true.Braggadochio thought a knight such as himself more suited to the fairlady than any rustic. He therefore couched his spear, rode up to theman, declaring that the damsel was his, and must be yielded to him onpain of death.

  The rustic, greatly alarmed, and not daring to fight against sopowerful-looking an enemy, let his lady go, and Braggadochio mounted heron Trompart's horse and led her off, a proud and happy man. As theyjourneyed he began to make love to her, but presently their love-makingcame to an abrupt end, for they encountered an armed knight, whoadvanced towards them on a heavy charger that trampled the ground with asound like thunder.

  The appearance of this knight greatly disconcerted Braggadochio, but helooked as fierce as he could, and made a show of cheering his lady, whoalso was afraid. The knight came on, fierce and powerful, and badeBraggadochio give up the lady or else do battle for her. This challengemade the boaster quake with terror, but he put on the best appearance ofbravery he could, and addressing the stranger declared that man to bevery foolish who sought to win with words what he had gained with blows.At this the knight grew angry, and told Braggadochio to prepare tofight.

  "Then," said Braggadochio, "since die thou wilt, let us both turn oursteeds, ride back a certain distance, and meet in equal tilt." They didas he suggested, and retired one from the other about a furlong's space,when Braggadochio, whose last intention was to fight, rode away, andwithout looking back, left his lady-love to take her chance, caring onlyfor his own safety. Thus did his valour show itself!

  After several further adventures, Braggadochio o
ne day encountered aparty of knights and ladies who were on their way to a great tournament.He rode up to them and they treated him courteously, and allowed him toaccompany them.

  Now, it happened that the fair but false Florimell whom Braggadochio hadso basely deserted was of this company, and rode with a knight namedBlandamour. No sooner did Braggadochio see her than he wished to haveher back again. He therefore declared that he had before won her inbattle and that she was his by right. But Blandamour would not listen tohis claim, and taunting him with having lost his lady-love decreed thatBraggadochio must fight for her once more if he wished to make good hispretended right. He further proposed that the false Florimell shouldstand side by side with a wicked old witch named Ate, who was of theircompany, and that he who won the day should have the lady, and he whowas beaten, the witch. The company were all pleased with this proposal,and false Florimell and the hag were brought forward, whereupon allbegan to laugh. Then Braggadochio, glad of any excuse which saved himfrom fighting, declared that he would be no party to any such bargain;if Blandamour liked to offer another lady as fair as Florimell, he wouldagree to fight, but he would not risk his life on the chance of gainingso poor a prize as Ate. At this they all smiled, the false Florimellupbraided him with want of gallantry and Ate, the witch, tried to urgehim on, but he cared for none of them, and remained obstinate.

  In order to keep the peace, a brave knight, Cambello, who chanced toride with them, reminded the company that they were on their way to agreat tournament, and had better not waste their strength in quarrellingon the way, but wait until they arrived where each could fight his filland, if they wished, fight out this quarrel also. So they passed offBlandamour's proposal as a joke, and went on together; but all the waythey mocked at Braggadochio and made a laughingstock of him.

  Now, the tournament to which this company was going was one arranged bythe good knight Satyrane, he who had picked up the lost girdle of thetrue Florimell.

  It was to be held in her honour, and to last for three days. To thecombatant who most distinguished himself the right was reserved ofclaiming the hand of the fairest lady present, and to that lady Satyranewould yield Florimell's golden girdle.

  On the first day, Sir Satyrane himself was judged the victor. On thesecond, Braggadochio's opportunity arose; but when his turn came tofight, he looked so uncertain and fearful that the knight Triamond,indignant at his cowardly hesitation, stepped forward and took hisplace. The third day was no more favourable to the braggart, for astrange knight appeared within the lists, who bore all others down, andwon the honours of the tournament.

  Then followed a contest as to which was fairest of the many damsels whohad graced the combat. Knight after knight advanced his lady, but ofthem all, Florimell the false was deemed most lovely, and to her thegirdle was awarded.

  Now, this girdle had been framed by magic skill, and could not be madeto clasp upon falsehood of any kind. It would not therefore fasten onthe false Florimell, who, however, insisted upon wearing it, althoughshe was forced to tie it on.

  And here fortune favoured Braggadochio, for there arose a great quarrelas to whose Florimell should be. The knight who had rightfully won herwas no other than Britomart, who cared nothing for her prize. ThenBraggadochio stepped forward and called Florimell to witness that he hadbefore won her in battle. At his audacity the uproar grew more loud, forall the knights hated and despised Braggadochio. At length Sir Satyraneproposed that all should forego their claim, and that the falseFlorimell should be placed in their midst, and of her own free willchoose her rightful lord. To this the knights agreed, and after lookinglong at each one, as if she would fain have pleased them all, Florimellturned to Braggadochio. The knights were almost mad with disappointmentand anger at her choice, so Braggadochio, feeling rather uncomfortableand not very safe among them, bore her off in the night, and left themto complain.

  Soon after this the true Florimell was married, as you have alreadyheard, to Marinell. Immediately after the wedding, Marinell held a greattournament, in which he and six friendly knights maintained Florimell'sbeauty against that of any lady all the world over.

  The lists were open to all who cared to enter them, and many were thehonours lost and won, but when the third day dawned, Marinell still worethe victor's laurel. This day was to end the tournament, and as thefight grew more and more fierce, Marinell became surrounded, and was inserious danger. At that moment the brave Sir Artegal, whom Britomartsought, entered the tilting-yard, and at the same time, Braggadochio,Trompart, and the lady. Sir Artegal saw Marinell's danger, and hastenedto his aid, but not wishing to be recognized, he changed shields withBraggadochio before entering the lists. After a hard combat, hesucceeded in rescuing Marinell from the opposing knights, and togetherthey won every honour of the field.

  The tournament ended, Sir Artegal returned his shield to Braggadochio,and the whole company repaired to the great hall, where the judges ofthe tilting match were to announce the name of him who had won theprize. There also stood the true Florimell, ready to greet every knightaccording to the deeds he had done. Then the judges called for thestranger knight who had rescued Marinell, but Artegal did not move, andin his stead Braggadochio advanced and showed his shield, which allrecognized as that belonging to the victor. The trumpets sounded threetimes in his honour, the judges awarded him the prize, and Florimellcame forth to greet him and to thank him for the honour he had done hername. But Braggadochio received her courteous words with scorn,declaring that what he had done had been for his own lady's sake, andnot for hers.

  At these rude words, Florimell turned aside, and Braggadochio, who hadkept his lady veiled until now, brought her boldly forth before all thepeople, maintaining that she and not the other was Florimell the true.She was indeed fair, and for a moment the assemblage was stupified, andagreed that if this were not the Florimell famed throughout Faeryland,she was yet more beautiful. Even Marinell was dismayed, and knew notwhat to believe. Then arose Sir Artegal, and no longer able to containhis anger against Braggadochio, plainly discovered himself, and chargingthe boaster with utter falsehood, declared it was he and notBraggadochio who had rescued Marinell; for proof of which he pointed tothe false knight's unused sword. He next called for Florimell, andleading her up to the other, caused the two to stand side by side.Behold, the false could not abide the presence of the true, and thefalse Florimell faded away before their eyes, and no trace of her wasleft but the empty girdle. The people were struck dumb withastonishment, and Braggadochio was seized with despair and remained asstill as if he were lifeless. Artegal broke the silence, for he stoopedand lifted the girdle, and presented it to Florimell. She fastened it onher waist, and it fitted perfectly; and all were convinced that this wasindeed Florimell, and crowded around her, giving her tokens of theirjoy.

  Meantime, a commotion arose in the hall. The knight Guyon, to whom thestolen horse belonged, had arrived, and seeing Braggadochio's horserecognized it as his own. Seizing its reins with one hand and drawinghis sword with the other, he insisted on having it restored.Braggadochio refused, and a quarrel ensued, which bade fair to be abloody one. Then Artegal came forward and asked Guyon whether he couldprove the steed to be his own. Guyon replied that there was a markinside the horse's mouth by which he could certainly recognize it. Atthis several of those present tried to open its mouth, and were severelybitten for their pains. Then came Guyon himself, and called his steed byits name, at which the horse broke loose from its bonds in its joy andfollowed Guyon, opening its mouth so that all could see whose he was.

  Now Artegal was deemed the just, and all looked to him for judgment inthe quarrel. He decreed the proof sufficient, and condemned Braggadochioto go on foot until he could obtain a horse honestly. Braggadochio ragedand raved in fury, and made Artegal at length so angry that he threetimes laid his hand on his sword to kill him, but Sir Guyon stayed hisanger, saying that Braggadochio was unworthy the vengeance of a trueknight.

  So was Sir Artegal pacified, but Talus, his servant, seizedBraggado
chio, and, dragging him out of the hall, shaved off his beard,reversed his shield, blotted out his device, broke his sword, andscattered his armour. Then, rushing after Trompart, who had tried tomake away, he disarmed him also, and scourged him out of the court; and,amidst the laughter and scorn of the knights and their ladies,Braggadochio and his follower finally disappeared.