Abducted by the Alien Hottie

by Laney Kaye

  Heck, the proximity of the hot alien trio — not to mention Tennn’s better-than-a-vibrator (at least in my imagination, experience being illegal, ta everso, interfering government) touch — had my girl-bits pouting so hard my nether regions probably looked like a Botox job gone wrong. Surrounded by Albert Einstein’s hair. Ugh. I winced. Had Tennn been joking about his love of au naturale? While I wouldn’t mind a shower, asking for a razor might seem a bit odd.

  And the under-dressed Earth girl on the alien spaceship wouldn’t want to seem odd, right?

  “Tennn?” Yanno waved a clipboard. “That CUM is going to catch up with us soon. The protection will wear thin.”

  “Protection against cum?” I sniggered. “You mean, like a condom?”

  “I do not know this condom,” Tennn said. He released my hand and I could have bitten off my tongue. Or at least, slapped my wisecracking mouth. “But Yanno refers to the shield the IA unit has erected around the ship to cloak us from Creatures-Unauthorized Management. The management’s unit will douse us with sanitizer if they catch us. The stuff stinks worse than a rotten pillion carcass and lasts for weeks. We must quickly ascertain whether you meet the specifications of the flesh-traders so that we can proceed.”

  “And if I don’t meet your specifications?”

  “If you do not pass the tests, we shall return you to Oz-tray-lee-arr. Without a mind-wipe.”

  I knew he was making fun of my accent, but this shit was far too serious for me to crack a smile. What if the test included sit-ups? Squats? Oh, my God, running? I’d pee myself. Damn it, I’d meant to start a workout plan, based on the exercise app on my phone. Just hadn’t quite gotten around to it yet.

  I shook my head, backing away from him. But his hand moved to my waist. And then slid to my bottom.

  Chapter Four

  Tennn

  Stella was funny. Despite our language differences, particularly the intonation in word choices that the universal translator couldn’t account for, I recognized that she toyed with me, her sexual interest evident.

  Not that I was any great master in the art of reading females, but even a swamp-tillard couldn’t miss the scent of her arousal, her dilated pupils, and the patch of dampness that darkened the fabric at the apex of her thighs. My yakeet sure hadn’t missed any of those clues.

  Yanno hadn’t missed the signs, either; I caught his gaze as he approached from behind her.

  Maybe not so much caught his gaze, as noted it glued firmly to Stella’s plump buttocks. One of which was comfortably overflowing my hand.

  “What sort of tests?” Stella’s lusciousness quivered in my hand as her voice wavered. “Because, y’know, I might have performance issues.”

  “I find that very hard to believe.” A sudden thought occurred to me; why the hells shouldn’t I find out? Just because the women on our manifest were bound for the flesh markets to fulfill our quota, it wasn’t like they were illicit. The shortage of female Crasasi made it common for us to take bedmates from other races. Just not breeders. Particularly not for royalty. But if Stella was as willing as she seemed…the trip would last a few lunar cycles, yet…I squeezed the handful of soft flesh, using the pressure to turn her toward Yanno.

  Stella yelped, the lusciousness quivering in my hand and hardening my yakeet. But though she turned to face Yanno, she made no move to step from my loose caress. “So, before any tests, let me just get this straight,” she said. “The three of you, you’re businessmen? Taking Earth women to trade with these Dao-thingummies?”

  Disappointment rippled through her tone and my shoulders tightened. “What do you mean?”

  She shrugged. “Well, you know, the business guy disguised in the leather getup is kind of hot,” she drew her chin up and down, indicating my long coat. Dammit, we were going to have to get a different uniform. “But the whole deal doesn’t have quite the same ring as being abducted by alien warriors, does it?”

  “We were warriors,” I ground through clenched teeth. She’d hit a sore point.

  “Were?” Her eyebrows lifted. “But you quit?”

  Irony dripped from my tone. “The Galaxy is now at peace. There is no call for warriors.” Even to my own ears, my words sounded sour. It was hard for a warrior to abdicate responsibility, to sit back and take the peaceful route. To pretend that all was well within the Universe, when what we’d seen had taught us the impossibility of that lie. Peace was a fabrication created by desperate Rulers. My own mother among them.

  Enough questions. “Lieutenant?” I snapped.

  Yanno dragged his gaze up to Stella’s pretty face.

  “You have the specifications?”

  “Yeah, yeah, sure. It’s basically only a health and willingness assessment.” Yanno indicated Xander with a lift of his chin. “Do you think that’s smart?”

  I shook my head, stifling a sigh. Xander had picked up the donkey-cat being and held it cradled against his chest. There’d be no point telling him to put the creature down, he did the same thing wherever we went, adopting strange life forms. “Just swear you won’t pick up worms, Xander,” I groaned.

  Stella snapped her head toward me. “Ol’ Gray Donkey doesn’t have worms,” she frowned. “Or fleas.”

  I lifted my shoulder. “No. I said I don’t want Xander picking up worms. We have a refueling stop at Farisank. The dune worms are always looking for a way off-planet, and I don’t want him bringing aboard any more of his pets.”

  Stella made an exasperated noise, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Sometimes, I think you’re not even speaking English. Wait. Are you speaking English?”

  “Of course not. We’re speaking Crasasi.”

  “But I can understand you? Oh my God, my French teacher said I sucked at languages — well, not in those precise words, but anyway…now I’m bilingual, and I didn’t even know it?”

  Yanno tapped his wrist unit. “No. You’re not.” Trust him to not coat the facts in beejus. “The universal translator works both ways, so in effect we’re speaking and hearing a common language.”

  “But don’t you have to implant me with a translator? I mean, I read—”

  “You like to read?” She had Xander’s attention now and I growled at his interruption. For some reason, Xander always attracted the women. Along with the myriad other creatures that flocked to him.

  “Sure,” Stella replied. “I like to read. In fact, I’m very close to a librarian and she hooks me up all the time.” She grinned as though what she said had a double meaning. “But anyway, I read that aliens need to implant a translator for us to understand each other.”

  “You seem inordinately keen to have me implant something,” I murmured, close to her ear.

  She quivered against me, her breath quickening. Ran her tongue over her lips. “Well, if you think it would be helpful to our mutual understanding…”

  “No need.” Yanno waved at his wristcomm. “This tech works perfectly.”

  Idiot. “Yanno. The questions.” I’d make sure Stella passed. Because next came the physical assessment.

  “Well, there aren’t many.” Unsurprisingly, he sounded disappointed. “Only a few basic parameters to meet.” He tapped his IA interface. “Stella,” he cleared his throat, adopting an authoritative tone. Xander sniggered and I rolled my eyes. “You can confirm you are human?”

  “One hundred percent.”

  “Female?”

  Her gaze slid to mine. “Are you prepared to take my word for it?”

  Hells, no. “I may need to make a full assessment. Can’t take you otherwise.”

  Her nostrils flared and her pupils darkened, becoming mirrors reflecting the sterile storage pods on the wall behind me. “Oh, that’d be a shame. I want you to take me.”

  I gave myself a mental shake; needed to remember that my lieutenants were in the room. I’d better keep this professional, at least for a while. “Continue, Yanno.”

  “Wait.” A faint tang of woodsmoke breezed across the deck as Stella lifted one ha
nd, signaling us to stop our conversation. “Do you mean you only take females?”

  “Of course.”

  “And all of them have come up in the ASS?” Her gaze flickered from mine and deeper color tinged her golden cheeks. “I mean, as having a longing to be abducted by aliens. Which you know because you…probe them.”

  “Not always personally.” Not ever, actually. But I could see she was getting off on the conversation.

  A thrill rippled through her, the hard nipples punching against her thin shirt. She lifted one shoulder, the garment sliding alluringly to expose her rounded flesh. “Well, I guess there’s longing and then there’s longing, you know?”

  I absolutely did not know, as she spoke in human riddles. But I certainly would never take a female of any race who was not willing. Take in any sense of the word.

  Though I found myself very much hoping that this woman was among those willing to be ‘taken’.

  “But why don’t you also take men? Surely there are as many men wanting to get…off-planet” — a small, self-satisfied smile played around her lips as she tried out what was evidently an unfamiliar term — “As there are women. Don’t you ASS tag them, as well?”

  Yanno sighed, setting aside his wristcomm. He obviously realized his data entry was going to be frustrated again. “ASS is not interested in men. A strain of the same virus that has now infected Earth infiltrated major parts of the galaxy hundreds of years ago. Women across many races have been rendered infertile.”

  “Oh, wait, a virus? And humans are infected?” Stella swiveled toward Yanno, her face screwed up in disgust.

  “No.”

  “Oh. Phew.”

  The word didn’t translate, but I read it as an expression of relief, given that Stella’s shoulders slumped and her attention drifted from Yanno. “Only your men,” I clarified helpfully. Yanno wasn’t the only one with information.

  “Ew, gross!” Stella’s eyes were huge. “Not only do we not have enough men on Earth, but now they’re infected?” She flapped a hand up and down, as though she was shooing away blood-sucking stingers. “Are they contagious?”

  I rifled a hand through my hair, glancing to Yanno and Xander as though they could somehow explain her surprise.

  Great. Their confused looks must mirror my own. “Well, no, not contagious as such. But the virus is hereditary. Therefore, your males are increasingly becoming sterile. Your government must have addressed the declining population issue, and the resulting gender imbalance?”

  “Well, yes, sort of…” Stella’s words trailed off.

  “You are aware of the virus, then?” This woman was full of contradictions. “I assume your governing body is mandated to share such information freely with the populace.”

  Stella’s pretty…blonde…hair billowed softly in the breeze she created as she shook her head, a frown creasing her forehead. “Well…not so much…”

  “What do you mean? What kind of public health system do you have? Oh, wait—” I held up an apologetic hand, wincing at my ignorance. “Sorry. I forgot. Australia, not Austria. You don’t have democracy in Australia? Communism, then? Your government informs the populace only on a need-to-know basis.” It was embarrassing to be caught out without even that basic knowledge on board. If Stella was going to stay, I’d have to tap the IA for a quick information download.

  In my peripheral vision, Xander had freed one hand from the donkey-cat and was scrolling his reader screen. He’d love boning up on something new.

  That had better be the only thing he planned boning up on, though. This woman was mine for the duration.

  Determined not to sound ignorant, I blundered on. Like that would make it better. “Still, I would have thought that the imminent doom of your species would rate as need-to-know, regardless of your system of governance.”

  Stella’s fists slammed to her hips, disappearing slightly into the cushioning.

  My fingers tingled as I imagined the give of that flesh in my grasp, the way it would yield to my firm caress. She’d be soft all over, I suspected. Those hips. Her breasts. The magnificent thighs peeking from her short clothing, begging me to bury my face between them. She’d be comfortable. Welcoming. The perfect foil to my hardness…

  Momentarily lost in my fantasy, I missed the sudden change to her demeanor. Now, her lips compressed, her blue eyes caught the overhead lights, throwing the brilliance back at me like laser night-fire. “Hey, hang on, buddy. No-one, no matter how freaking hot — I mean, no matter how alien — gets to crap on my society. If our government had access to information of this importance, of course they’d have informed us. I mean, heck, they hit the media with public service announcements every flu season, just so we’re warned about what to expect. And can vaccinate against it. The government recognizes that we have a population issue, and they’re addressing it, but to claim that they’re hiding the fact that all the men are becoming infertile — like that’s even possible — dude, that’s conspiracy theory territory.”

  The donkey-cat in Xander’s arms stretched on its back, chewing on the end of the lieutenant’s dark braid. Xander set his reader aside. “It’s not only that the virus causes male infertility in humans. It also alters their breeding ejaculate, over an extended period of time, so that only female fetuses survive. Bizarre because, in the rest of the galaxy, the reverse is true. We have an over-population of males. This is why your government is happy for us to take willing, ah, refugees.”

  “Breeding ejaculate? No.” Stella waved her hands. “This is ridiculous. I’m not even having this conversation.” She straightened her shoulders, apparently not realizing that the movement lifted her breasts. I should get her a uniform to wear; IA kept the craft was kept far cooler than the surface of her planet had been. But, later. The cold air was having quite an amazing effect on her nipples, which punched against the thin fabric.

  Unfortunately, she crossed her arms over her breasts, directing her furious disbelief at Xander. “If the Government knew of anything this monumental and so potentially lethal to the human race, they’d have told us about it.”

  Xander, always one of the good guys, looked hurt at her accusation, his glance flitting from her to the donkey-cat, to me. “But-but your government does know,” he stammered. “The information is recorded in both their data banks and our own. I can pull up the files on my reader and show you, but I promise, your human rulers have been aware of the virus and its effects for decades. I know for a fact that Crasasi visited Earth in the nineteen-forties, endeavoring to advise your government of our own research into the disease, although we had no way of knowing it would be your male population that was affected. My grandfather’s best friend was among those who never returned from that mission.”

  “Oh. Wait. You mean Area 51 and all that mumbo jumbo stuff?” Stella’s fingernails scratched at her neck, leaving red welts, and I wanted to capture and contain her fingers so she’d not injure the golden flesh I planned to explore. Just as soon as I could get Yanno and Xander back to the flight deck. Just how much information did the woman require before she’d agree to cross the galaxy? My brief experience of her part of Earth would make it seem an easy choice.

  Stella looked at each of us, as though hoping to catch one of us in a lie. “So, that Roswell stuff was all for real? And the conspiracy theorists are right, the government did cover it up?”

  She threw up her hand, palm out. “No, wait. This doesn’t make any sense. For years, from the early two-thousands, environmental movements were dedicated to working out effective ways to reduce the Earth’s total population, because we were in danger of exhausting the natural resources. Really, that’s the only upside of our fall in population now.”

  “Diversionary tactics.” Xander tickled the donkey-cat’s head.

  Yanno nodded. “Absolutely. I can show you on the IA’s mainframe; Earth’s resources were never endangered.”

  Stella rubbed her temples. “But I don’t understand. Why would the government let us believe
that was the case? It’s only over the last few years they’ve started to worry about the population dropping too low.”

  “Our ruling body has been known to do the same,” Yanno said, with a quick grimace at me. “Sorry, Tennn.”

  I waved off his apology. I was no fool when it came to recognizing the dictatorial edicts and failings of my extended family. While my mother, as the eldest sibling, ruled as regal figurehead, it was my four uncles who truly held the reins of power. Until I had an heir, control of Crasasi would not become mine. “It’s a stabilizer; let the populace focus on a non-problem, rather than get concerned about something the rulers may be unable to provide a solution to. But Stella, you said that for years humans believed global over-population to be an issue. Didn’t anyone question why that wasn’t remedied, when the cure is obvious?” Brutal, but effective, culling had been employed the galaxy over, before the virus made the practice unnecessary. Settlement and conquest always came down to survival of the fittest and smartest, which tended to resolve overpopulation issues.

  Stella shook her head, and I lowered my voice. Which meant I had to move closer to make myself heard. Close enough that her breasts brushed my abs as she gazed up at me. “Your government knew no remedy was required, that overpopulation would be a mere temporary glitch. The true issue was the virus, but they didn’t want to admit that, because there is no cure. The disease mutates and affects different races to different extents. And apparently, different genders in different ways.”

  “Let me get this straight,” Stella said. “The government knew we were heading toward a dire, insurmountable lack of men, but their entire game plan hinged on banning our frigging vibrators so women couldn’t even orgasm? As though it was somehow our fault?”