by Erin R Flynn
“Thanks,” I whispered, never having anyone talk to me like that before. My eyes went wide as I opened the box. There was a selection of everything I hadn’t had in forever. “Wow, this is—damn.”
“If you believe nothing else, believe I am on your side,” he told me gently but then went back to busting open safety deposit boxes, not pushing me.
Which I appreciated. I really did.
“What was the plan besides cleaning out this vault and getting back out of Raleigh before night?” he asked after I finished the tacos. I pulled out a few of the soft water bottles from my rucksack, offering him one. “Yes, thanks.”
I tossed it over and took a few gulps from the other one. They were expired according to the label, but expired bottled water was still a very good option. Plus, I’d read several times that technically water couldn’t expire unless stuff was added to it.
“I was still debating. There was an electric UPS truck, but that wouldn’t be as easy to maneuver nor would an SUV with a trailer, but there was an actual truck, but the bed was open.”
He slowly nodded. “Then the cargo van would be the best option hands down. Are you figuring out storage?”
I started to relax as he acted normal, almost leaving the very intimate moment we’d just had until later. It gave him another crumb of faith with me. I focused on another ghost and pictured it dissipating as I answered. “It’s a custom storage setup in the back. I figured I’d get a huge attack tonight because fate always fucks with me when I find anything good or escape.”
He choked on the water, coughing a bit before smiling. “You are not the only one there, Inez.” He moved to punch open the next row for me. “So why North Carolina? You were running around Europe?”
“Yeah, and I sort of stumbled on safe passage,” I admitted. “I figured that would at least buy me some unattacked time to sleep and not look over my shoulder, but they pack those ships so full and there’s not like security, so I swear I slept with one eye open.”
“We all do,” he sighed. “Though, corrupted seem to be repelled by nobles. I don’t know how it is for everyone.” He winced. “I’ve been a bit off the grid as well. Well, pushed out the door when I wouldn’t swear to a princess I couldn’t attach myself to.” A look of loss filled his eyes. “Clarence said she’s dead now. She wouldn’t listen to him, and so he just let humans overtake her coven.”
“Wow, so running from him was for the best,” I drawled as I kept working through ghosts, picking up the seeds when they were gone.
He winced again. “I’m not supposed to influence your decision. A princess should choose the nobles right for her. Of course people whisper in their ears and there’s alliances and all of that, but we’re not supposed to. I cannot block anyone from you of my own will. I would be struck down if I did.”
That was a huge pill to swallow. “But if I tell you I want help to not be carted off by this Clarence guy?”
He smirked at me. “I could fuck them all up.”
Good to know. “How do you know it’s the same guy? I mean…” I sighed. “Sorry, I know I’m like the most untrusting person ever but—”
“I get it,” Darius forgave. “You should be distrusting. You’ve not been raised like a normal princess, and this is certainly not normal times.” He finished his water and walked out of the vault. He came back a few minutes later as I was clearing out another box of its gold and jewels. He was holding some printer paper and a pencil.
Was he going to draw the guy for me? Huh.
He also brought back a stack of empty desk garbage cans. “I figured those might be better for stacking in your awesome van.” He glanced up and smiled at me. “That’s so awesome you can use your power for electricity. There’s a whole array of gifts we can all have, but to do that before you’ve even fed—you are amazing, Inez.”
“Thanks.” I turned away when I felt my cheeks heating, not used to compliments I didn’t brush off. The next few boxes were full of papers and documents, my heart hurting because those had been important to people and I hated how upside down the world was.
Not that I remembered what the world had been like before. I didn’t even remember my own memories of how it had started or my family.
“You said other princesses had covens. Does it mean my family could be in one?”
He didn’t answer immediately. “I’ve never heard of a vampire being born of humans. The only princesses I’ve ever known or read on were born of other princesses. I don’t know your family or even your last name, so I cannot answer definitively—”
“Garner. Inez Garner’s what my ID said.”
“I’ve never heard of a noble house of Garner.”
“Huh?” I glanced over my shoulder at him.
He seemed to understand my confusion. “All nobles are born of princesses. My mother was a vampire princess. There are other vampires in different castes, but I grew up learning noble houses. I don’t know a Garner or any vampire house by that name, I’m sorry.”
I nodded, but then something he said hit me. “Was?”
“Her coven did not survive the apocalypse,” he whispered quietly. “The Middle East was bombed hard, as many assumed this was all because of them. I think I am the last of my house, but I am not sure.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Thanks.” He let out a shaky breath. “I never thought anything could bring down the Katz coven. It was older and more established than most. So many people lost and all because of panic and assumptions. It’s such a waste.”
“Yeah, it is,” I agreed. “Where in the Middle East?”
“Jordan. Though it wasn’t Jordan way back when.” He let out a bitter chuckle. “To survive wars of human gods and the craziness of men, Imperialism and more, only to be taken down by a mistake seems…”
“Unfathomable,” I offered, sighing when he nodded. “Yeah, like the story of waking in an abandoned hotel on your eighteenth birthday and having no fucking clue of anything. Anyone I’ve told that to has come up with a range of explanations, from repressing traumatic events like I saw my family slaughtered, to being weak minded and won’t survive the apocalypse, to a hit to the head.”
“Someone told you that you were weak minded and wouldn’t survive?” he asked, blinking up at me. He snorted when I nodded. “People need to shut the fuck up. They get so much wrong that—no one has all the answers. Thinking you do isn’t being smart. It’s being delusional.”
“Yeah, it is,” I agreed. We worked quietly a few more minutes, and then he was holding up a sketch for me when I turned around. My breath caught in my throat, and I nodded. “Yeah, that’s one of the guys.” I met his gaze. “So he’s…” I blew out a harsh breath. “Makes sense. I’ve shot them so many times, and yet they just keep coming. I assumed it was body armor but…”
“But you shot me, and I wasn’t wearing body armor,” he drawled.
“I apologized.”
“I’m not even mad,” he chuckled. “Always err on the side of keeping yourself safe, Inez. Besides, I healed.”
“How did they?” I growled as I reached for the next box. “I found where they were staying once and left a bunch of my blood there to draw corrupted to them. How did they seriously make it out of that? They track me and track, and then I have my period and they really track me. It’s nuts!”
“I don’t have an answer on that.” He cleared his throat. “There’s never been a zombie apocalypse before, so even my centuries can’t help me there.”
I swallowed loudly. “Centuries?”
“Two.”
“Oh,” I squeaked again. “You’re over two hundred years old. Okay then.”
He waited a few beats before speaking again, giving me a moment with that. “But they won’t be the only ones who can track you better when you are bleeding, menstruation or otherwise. Smelling your blood from your gash last night made it so I can track you exponentially easier.”
“Right, you found me,” I muttered, not having thought of how
he’d found me. I was hitting my limit again. “Where’s all your stuff?”
“I’ve got a bag outside, but I travel pretty light.” He shrugged. “I hide it all up or store it, but it’s just stuff now and weight.”
“Yeah, I’ve stashed lots of stuff in case I’m ever back in the area, and um, other stuff.” I winced, realizing that was oversharing now that I’d lowered my walls against him a bit. I’d never done it before, and apparently it was hard to draw that line of where to shut up when socially awkward and inexperienced.
“Why do I think you’re in North Carolina for more than you tripped into passage, Inez?”
Because you’re not an idiot? I sighed, going over to my rucksack and pulling out the huge atlas I’d picked up the day of my eighteenth birthday, something compelling me to do it like keeping the seeds. I focused on the last ghost and made it move on. Retrieving the seeds it left, I brought the atlas over to the table he’d been drawing on and opened it up.
“What is this?” he whispered, his eyes going wide as he took in the drops of blood all over the fold out world map.
“No clue,” I admitted with a huff. “It’s like the seeds. It’s a compulsion. I woke that morning, freaked the fuck out at not knowing anything, and then the next thing I know, I’m tearing into a bookstore to find a fucking atlas. I’m opening that map, and it slices my hand when I do, and I’m pissed, thinking I ruined the damn thing when I’d gone through so much to find it.
“But no, my blood does a freaky thing and runs all over it, little dots littered all over the huge map and on the small, blown up maps.”
“What’s at these places?”
I shrugged. “I never know until I’m there. It’s like a pressure that builds until I find the right thing.” I felt my face heat as I remembered the pressure that had just built that Darius had relieved.
And he remembered it too from the way he cleared his throat. He didn’t address it, instead tapping the biggest blood dot. “And here?”
“I have no idea. I just know that’s the last place.” He flinched, and I grabbed his arm. “Do you know what this is?”
“No, but my grandmother used to tell the tale of the first Katz princess who was led to the location of where to build her coven by her blood. The Goddess gifted her the ability, and she would wake each morning of the journey and prick her finger and the blood would show her the safest path until she reached the heart of her coven.”
“What Goddess?” I whispered. “Is this going to be some hinky story where you tell me I’m a descendant of a goddess?”
He chuckled. “I think we all are, but no, that’s not… It’s not like that.” He gave me a worried look like he knew this would overwhelm me. “There’s a reason you are a princess as head of a coven, our vampire royalty, and not queen. The Goddess of us all is Aether.”
I thought back to the mythology books I’d read. “Wasn’t Aether a guy?”
His lips twitched and made me flush again as I thought how good it had felt to feel those lips against mine. “Yeah, well, that’s the least of what humans have gotten wrong, as vampires are real.”
Fair enough, and I said as much.
“The gods and goddesses were born from there, and there’s a ton of every religion and culture. They were all true according to what’s been passed down, and each one chose a champion. Think of it in that way, like how kings or queens would pick a champion to fight on their behalf.” He waited until I nodded. “That’s the first princesses. They were the champions of the gods to lead and rule people.”
“Vampires.”
“No, all people originally,” he sighed. “That might not… That seems more like vampire superiority sort of doctrine, but my mother used to say it was only because we were more durable in the harshness that was the beginning of the world and people, not that we were better.”
I blew a raspberry and stretched over the table. “So I’m the champion of a god or goddess and I was supposed to get some sort of gift of memories?”
He scratched his cheek. “Mother said it was like she just kept waking up knowing more. She saw decisions my grandmother had made from her perspective. My great-grandmother and so on. It’s like—”
“Walking another mile in someone else’s shoes to teach you lots,” I figured out, understanding the idea at least. “So I’m a defective princess?” Geez, didn’t that just suck when I wasn’t sure I even believed I was one. I mean, ouch.
“You’re not defective,” he chuckled. “No, you are powerful and able to tap into that power before you even fed. Fuck, you were able to not feed for five years. Yeah, you’re amazing, not defective. I can’t answer why you didn’t get the memories and instead, lost your own.”
“I’ll take a theory if you’ve got one,” I admitted, glad he was being honest, especially when he didn’t have answers or how much was really for sure, but he had enough knowledge to at least have insight.
His gaze locked with mine, and he slowly licked his lips. “The Goddess doesn’t make mistakes. I believe that. I think you didn’t get the memories so you forge your own path and forget what tradition says and has been before you. Yes, wisdom comes with those memories, but I have seen the bad of that too, and you are unaffected by those negatives.”
I worried my lip as I lowered my forehead to the cold metal of the table. I didn’t get it though, shaking my head. “I can’t see knowledge being bad when I’ve almost died so many times because of ignorance.”
“But you didn’t. You learned and bloomed into this kickass, strong princess and so young, like I’ve never seen.” He cleared his throat. “My mother was a good woman, so I don’t want to disparage her, but even she would speak of the jealousy that would eat at her now and again over memories of seeing what was. People used to almost worship princesses as incarnates of the gods, as their champions.
“It’s been the downfall of many covens. That jealousy, that need for more or to be better. It is not only men who have fallen into that trap. Also betrayals and alliances. There were covens my mother would never trust because of someone’s ancestor betraying or hurting one of ours. I can’t even judge her for that because she experienced those memories like they were her own.”
“Yeah, maybe I’m glad I didn’t get the memory download or whatever,” I muttered. “Erasing my memories was a bit much. And leaving me all alone to—” I let out a shaky breath. “You don’t know what I went through, Darius. I didn’t remember the fucking apocalypse. The corrupted came for me that night, and it was a miracle that I survived. I’ve stumbled for years just to find the right information and—”
“I’m so sorry, Inez,” he whispered, rubbing my back when I got choked up. “I am. That’s horrible. I just believe it wasn’t for nothing. There was a reason you were meant to take this journey. I’m sorry for lots and those who didn’t survive, but you’re here, and you aren’t alone anymore.”
I let him hug me. Fine, I was the weak woman in the book or whatever judgement, but I let myself be comforted for the first time since I’d woken up with no memories. All he did was hold me against his strong body and let me quietly cry, and it was maybe the greatest gift anyone had ever given me.
I wasn’t alone anymore. I didn’t have to be if I didn’t want to.
And that was enough to hang onto for the moment, enough to keep me going.
5
I needed to apologize to a lot of fiction heroines. I really did. I had always thought them weak for immediately falling into someone’s arms or not handling their shit alone… But alone was hard. I knew that, but I didn’t think other people did. Everything was on me.
Every. Fucking. Thing.
Granted, I still rolled my eyes that some heroines just let a stranger take over. That was… Too much. In reality. I mean, really, who does that?
But it wasn’t Darius being a guy or the man to carry me off. It was another adult. Like a real adult as he was centuries old, even if I was still swallowing that pill.
Deciding wha
t to load the van up with? I didn’t have to decide alone.
Lug it all out to the van? Oh, I didn’t have to do that alone either.
Pick what place to hit next? Not all up to me.
Another place in Raleigh where there’s stuff or move on and risk not finding another place? Yeah, I didn’t have to decide that alone either.
So yes, I needed to apologize to a lot of heroines. It wasn’t being weak or stupid, it was just fucking nice. I didn’t trust him fully, and we weren’t going to ride off into the sunset, but damn, for now, I didn’t have to do it all alone.
Plus, he was good at the survival stuff. He knew to stay away from hospitals, as they always had corrupted there. When there were no more people, they would hit places that would smell like them or had blood to draw them. Which was—grossly—how they ended up taking out a lot of water treatment facilities.
Yeah, they smelled poop and thought dinner. Gross.
But what I didn’t know was energy attracted them, and that was how a lot of the power grids went down. Darius made a few Frankenstein jokes and they were looking for their next jolt, but it was good to know.
And nice to talk to someone about. I mean, really nice. I talked to ghosts and people I wanted to leave me alone. I honestly could count the amount of real conversations I’d had that weren’t a con—on my side or the other person’s—on my hands.
“Iron supplements, really?” he asked as we stopped at a grocery store right downtown that looked in good shape. “Huh, how did you think of that?”
I shrugged. “I started out at a shelter after I woke up without memories and I kept trying to get rare burgers and whatnot. A woman near me asked how far along I was and then explained when she was pregnant she wanted rare meat and the doctor figured out the pregnancy was making her anemic or something and they changed her vitamins around. She needed the supplements when breast feeding.”
He snorted. “Yeah, you needed iron. Wow, never thought—you are a miracle, Inez. My sister would have—I can’t imagine her doing that.” He cleared his throat. “She was loving and amazing in her own way, but princesses who grow up at a coven’s court tend to be spoiled. She would wear the crown one day and all of that.”
