Lycan Contempt
Page 9
“Georgia.” He took her hands in his. “I can only change those with the scent.”
“The scent?”
“Yes. Females who are destined to become lycan mates have two scents. The main scent and the mated scent. While all lycans can smell the main scent, only the destined mate can smell the mated scent. I detect both on you. You are my mate.”
“Y-your mate?”
“Yes.”
“What you are saying to me is that since I carry this scent, I can be changed at any time by any lycan?” She shivered.
“Yes, but I would never allow that to happen unless you agreed.”
“Oh my God,” she whispered.
“It’s not something you need to worry about. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“Not something I need to worry about? Really?
How about if I choose to go back to my normal life tomorrow and forget I ever heard about any of this lycan stuff?”
“You have that choice, but I will always watch over you from now on to keep you safe.”
“What do you mean? I’ve taken care of myself for a long time and nothing has ever happened to me. I’m perfectly capable.”
He smiled. “Yes, you are, but this is different.
There are some of my kind called rogues who do not abide by ancient laws. They believe that any woman who carries the main scent is rightfully theirs.”
She swallowed hard. “As in I could be taken by one of these rogues?”
“Yes, technically, but not now. I won’t let that happen.”
“How am I supposed to deal with this, Kish?
I’ve struggled my whole life to be normal, to overcome my blindness, and now you are telling me I can have my eyesight in exchange for becoming something else that is not normal?”
“It’s normal to me. It’s not the same. A handicap is an impairment, being a lycan is not an impairment. It is something no one but other lycans would ever know about you. You would appear as normal as the next person. There are quite a few advantages to being a lycan.”
“Such as?”
“Healing ability, heightened senses, which I guess would be less impressive to you because you already have them, but not to the degree I have them. Strength, speed, exhilarating freedom from the confines of humanity.” Her hands shook and he covered them with his own. “Don’t be afraid, Georgia.”
“I’m overwhelmed.” She snorted. “I don’t even know why I’m getting so bent out of shape. This is only a dream.”
He leaned close to her ear. “Sort of.”
“What?”
“Mates share a special bond. We can visit one another in our dreams. Everything in our dreams is as close to reality as reality can be. Except if we are harmed in our dreams, that harm doesn’t follow us when we wake. Just like any injuries we may have while awake do not hinder us in our dreams. I know it’s hard to comprehend, but everything we do in our dreams is real on another level. A psychological level we cannot tap into while awake, if you will.”
“Why are you telling me all of this? What does it matter?”
“You are my mate. You deserve to know, and . .
. I love you.”
“You love me, but you have no intention of trusting that I will not turn into some callous bitch in the future and shun you because of some scars?”
His heart ached with each beat. “Deep down I know you aren’t like that, but that voice in my head will always be telling me you will turn out like that.” He rubbed his thumbs over the smooth skin of her hands. “I also told you because I need you to understand that I will always be around to protect you. I need you to accept that.”
“You are asking for my trust, but unwilling to trust me in return. Isn’t that a tad bit hypocritical, Kish?”
He frowned. Yeah, it was, but he didn’t know what else to say.
She sighed and reached slowly for his face. He instinctively took a step back.
“No!” she cried out.
He froze.
“If you expect me to entertain anything you’ve just told me to be the truth, you must show some faith in me. I need to touch you, Kish. I’ve needed to since we met.”
His gut clenched when the tears pooled in her eyes once more. She looked like a goddess sitting on the railing under the bright moonlight with her arms stretched toward him and her white nightgown softly fluttering in the breeze. She seemed ethereal almost, as if she’d fade away under his touch. Too perfect for him.
He had to do this for her, had to prove to her that he didn’t think her a callous bitch that would shun him for his scars. He couldn’t expect her to accept what he was saying, what all it would entail for her future without giving her something in return. But did she have to ask for his very soul? She already had a piece of it, would forever have a piece of it. But did she need the whole damn thing?
If he did this, if he allowed her to see all of him, she’d forever hold the ability to crush him. His life, his heart, his soul would literally rest in her two tiny hands.
There was no avoiding this. No matter how many days, months, or years passed, it would always come back to this. He had no choice, but he would not do this in a dream. If she was determined to see all of him, she would see him for real.
Chapter Thirteen
Georgia sat up in bed. The dreams were getting more vivid, more real, if that was even possible.
“I’m insane.”
“I thought I was the insane one.”
Georgia nearly jumped out of her skin. Kish’s voice came from beside her. She didn’t feel Lucy at her feet any longer and assumed she must have gotten down on the floor.
“How the holy hel do you keep doing that?”
“It’s a lycan thing.”
Georgia sighed. “Kish, I—”
She felt the edge of the bed dip as he sat down beside her. “Look, Georgia. Everything I’ve told you is the truth. And yes, the dreams are as I said too.
Don’t try to argue with me. I can sit here and tel you word for word what just happened in your dreams.
You know why? Because I was there. I experienced it with you.”
Could this realy be happening? While her logical side resisted believing it, something deep inside her told her it was the truth. Kish wasn’t loony, but she might be going to crazy town soon.
He reached for her hands. “If you realy want to do this, it’s going to be for real. Not just dream real.”
Butterflies danced in her tummy. He was going to let her touch him. He was going to trust her even though the tone of his voice gave away his hesitancy to do so. She wished she could find a way to convince him somehow that his scars did not and would not ever matter to her, but she knew it was something she’d have to show him. No words would prove it. Only her actions could.
She held her breath as he dragged her hands to his face and placed them flat against each side of his jawline. She hesitated when he dropped his hands.
“Are you sure?” She hoped he didn’t change his mind because she needed to touch him, needed him to trust her with this, needed to show him that his scars didn’t mean anything to her.
She felt the slight nod of his head and began slowly dancing her fingers over his face. The stubble of his slight beard pricked her fingers, but she liked the feeling. It was befitting of him, added to his already-rugged qualities. Once she reached the edge of the stubble, the left side of turned into smooth skin while the right turned into rougher skin. The ridges of the scars were evident under her fingertips, but they didn’t seem al that pronounced in her opinion. She had a hard time believing that they would be al that noticeable even to those with sight.
He tensed under her touch when she folowed the scars around to his temple over his forehead and around to his eye. His eyebrow felt unaffected by the scarring. She trailed over the ridge of his nose, which seemed to have only a smal scar on the very edge where it met his cheek and traveled on down to his lips.
She sighed and smiled. His lips were perf
ect. Fuler than most men’s, but not girlie either. Her tummy flip-flopped at the memory of his kisses, the memory of his taste. She framed his face in her palms and slowly stroked his skin with her thumbs in what she hoped was a soothing manner.
“Kish,” she said quietly. “I think you are the sexiest, most gorgeous man I have ever met.”
“You don’t have to lie to me, Georgia. I have two eyes. I know what I look like.”
“Maybe you have a worse opinion of yourself than others.”
“Apparently not.”
“They don’t matter.”
“They realy don’t matter to me, but they seem to matter to a lot of women.”
“I’m a woman, and I’m teling you they don’t change my view of you one bit. Even if your skin was as perfectly smooth on the right as the left, I couldn’t think you were any more breathtaking than I do right now.”
“Once you see them, you’l change your mind.”
“That’s making a whole lot of assumptions for me, Kish. First of al, you’re assuming I wil agree to let you change me. Secondly, you are assuming I’m as shalow as the other women you’ve dated, which by the way, pisses me off. Third, how could you possibly think that I would turn my back on someone I love because of something as trivial as scars?”
“Y-you said that you lo—”
“Yes. I said I love you. Just like you said you loved me. Or does that only count in dream world?”
Kish took her hands in his and kissed the backs of them before getting up from the bed. “I meant what I said, Georgia.”
His voice was quiet and came from across the room now. She stood and found her way to him. His back was to her and she looped her arms around his waist and laid her head against him. She felt tiny against him. The top of her head barely reached the bottom of his shoulder blades.
“I can’t do this again, Georgia.”
The pain that laced his words made her chest ache.
“Can’t do what?” she asked softly.
“If you end up leaving me like the rest because of my scars, I wouldn’t recover. Al this time, I thought I was so damned wounded because I thought I’d loved these women who’d proved to be nothing but shalow in the end. But I’ve realized I felt the way I did mostly from my pride taking a beating. You? Wel, little Georgia, you have the power to completely destroy me if you reject me. I can’t open myself up to that.”
Tears spiled over her cheeks. “I understand why you’d have a hard time trusting me after what you’ve been through, but the key lies in what you just told me, Kish.”
He turned around slowly, and she laid her palms against his chest.
“What do you mean?”
“You said that the biggest reason you were hurt by the others was because of your pride being stepped on, not because you were in love with them. I can only assume that you cared for each of these women in some way if you had a relationship with them, but it sounds as if it wasn’t your heart that took the beating.
If you’ve come to realize that then why can’t you see me? That someone who realy loves you—loves you for you, not for your name or money or looks—I don’t care about your scars now, and I wil never care about them. I love you, not your looks.”
He grunted.
“Although, I won’t lie. I think you are pretty dang sexy.” Georgia chuckled.
“Sweetheart, my sexiness pales in comparison to your radiant beauty. You are an amazing woman.”
She sighed.
“What?”
“You know, you aren’t the only one with doubts and fears. I have them as wel.”
“You? But why?” Kish asked.
“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m blind. Most men, hel, most people, don’t want to deal with that.”
“That doesn’t matter to me. Besides, I can fix that.”
She took a step back from him. “But what if I don’t want you to fix it? Or what if I chose for you to fix it and for some reason it didn’t work? I can’t imagine a man of your caliber would even give a second glance at a woman like me.”
He stepped closer again and took her hands in his.
“You’re pissing me off now. Don’t say that. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever set eyes upon.
And whether you remained blind forever or not would not matter one bit to me. Wel, that’s not completely true. The only way it matters to me is because I wish you could experience al the things I do, as I do. But as far as me not wanting to deal with it, as you put it? There is nothing to deal with. You are a self-sufficient woman who can obviously take care of herself. I don’t see you as a burden or a bother.”
“I don’t know if I believe that one hundred percent.”
“I said I would never lie to you, sweetheart.”
“It’s just that if you realy are a wer—lycan, you are a predator, and predators depend upon their senses. Al of them. I can’t see how you wouldn’t view me as inferior.”
“Stop it.” He gave her hands a gentle shake. “I don’t view you as inferior. Yes, I would worry about you more under certain circumstances, but I wil always protect you whether you can see or not. Your blindness means nothing to me one way or another.
The only way it matters to me is if it bothers you because I would be unhappy if you were upset about anything.”
She smiled, launched herself against him, and squeezed him tight. “That’s the way I feel about your scars, Kish. They only bother me because they seem to bother you. I don’t want you to be in pain.”
He cupped her cheek in his palm. “I’m sorry it’s so difficult for me to believe that someone as caring, as genuine, as kind, as selfless as you exists.”
“Can’t you find it in your heart to give me a chance to prove I’m real? To prove I would never turn my back on you because of your scars?”
“I’l try, Georgia, but I won’t promise anything. I do love you. You are my mate, and I’m sorry I’ve let my past get in the way of that.”
“Don’t be sorry for your past, Kish. It’s what made you, you. And I think you are incredible.” She frowned. “Do you think you might tel me how you got your scars one day?”
“Maybe. Right now what I’d realy like to do is kiss you, if you don’t mind?”
“I would like that very much.”
He bent his head and brushed her lips. “You are so tiny.”
“I think you are big.” She giggled.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered.
“I don’t break easily. Let’s find out how tough I am, huh?”
He growled and took her mouth in a possessive kiss that sent pulses of pleasure through her body straight to her lower bely. His mouth was magical.
Until this moment, she’d never understood exactly what that song about a magic man meant. Now it was crystal clear to her.
One hand slid around to her nape and the other slid down and around to cup one cheek of her butt.
She moaned as his tongue dipped into her mouth and tangled with her own. She pushed her fingers up and through his short hair where she tangled them in the thick mass as wel as she could. She tugged him closer and the kiss deepened. He stole the breath from her lungs, and she happily gave it to him. His taste was intoxicating.
How was it that this man could bring out such intense feelings in her after only knowing him for such a short time? She’d dated other men for months and had never felt this kind of abandonment, this kind of connection, this kind of raw, sexual need. But until she’d met Kish, she’d never believed in love at first sight either. She did now. If fate had indeed marked her to be Kish’s mate, who was she to argue, because at this moment in time, it sure felt as if Mother Nature knew exactly what she’d been doing.
His long fingers left her nape and trailed down to her colarbone then finaly came to rest on her breast.
He kissed a path along her jaw and nibbled at her earlobe while he began toying with the nipple that had puckered into a peak and poked against the fabric of her shirt.
“Oh yes, Kish! Yes! Yes!”
Heat flooded her body as his mouth returned to hers. He demanded everything and gave everything in return. He nipped, sucked, and soothed her with his teeth and tongue. He roled her nipple gently between his fingers then kneaded her breast. She moaned into his mouth, and low grumbles came from his chest in answer.
She stroked her hand down his chest, over his abdomen where she stopped to admire his six-pack before coming to rest on his cock. She sucked in a sharp breath when she felt the sheer size of it straining against his jeans. How would he ever fit? He was huge everywhere.
He gently pushed her backward until her thighs bumped the mattress and they both tumbled down onto the bed. He was careful to keep most of his weight from crushing her. His large frame covered her, engulfed her, but only made her feel safe. There was no intimidation in his actions. She was confident that if she gave him so much as a tiny push of the hand, he’d back off. But him backing off was the last thing on her mind. She roled her hips up and wrapped her legs around his lean waist.
“I haven’t done this in a long time, Kish.”
“Good,” he whispered as his fingers dove under her sweats then her panties and stroked a path of fire over her clit.
She gasped. “I meant . . .” She moaned as his finger slid over her again. “I might not . . .” She bucked as he breached her and thrust deep through her wet heat. “Be very good at this.”
He stopped. Right there with two fingers buried inside her, he stopped. “You have already brought me more pleasure than I’ve ever known. If you were any better, you’d kil me.”
Then he puled his fingers from her slow before sliding home again.
“Kish! That feels so good.”
She reached for his cock again, and when she touched him, he ground against her hand and quickened the stroking of his fingers. In and out, in and out. His thumb rubbed over her clit with every third stroke. Pressure built inside her and she was torn between wanting to cry or scream with joy. But just as she thought she couldn’t take any more, she flew apart under his clever hand.