by Ryan Lew
He looked down at this daughter and she up at him. They smiled.
“I must get to work,” Livius said. “Remain here for a moment. I have a surprise for you.” He kissed Justina on the forehead, stood, and headed to the door. On the other side, Antonia was waiting. He smiled and motioned for her to enter.
Justina never took her eyes off the door. Her heart leapt when Antonia stepped into the doorway. She wanted to run and hug her friend, but something about Antonia’s demeanor stopped her.
“Please come in,” Justina said.
Antonia walked slowly into the room. Her gait was not light, not as it had been on the many occasions she entered the room in the past. Now she was walking wearily, as if preparing defense for some as yet unseen strike. The comfort she had always had in Justina’s presence was long gone, replaced with apprehension.
“How are you?” Justina asked.
Antonia stood stiffly, holding her arms close to her body, rubbing one hand up and down the other arm. She did not look at Justina when she spoke. “Little has changed since my ownership went from beloved father to hated son. He is busy with his training and is either gone or too tired to command. I still remain living amongst the slaves and do house chores as commanded by your mother. But his training ends in two days, and he will then be spending more time here again.”
“I have spoken to my father and he…”
Antonia suddenly turned to face Justina, anger replacing apprehension. “Your father,” she said cutting Justina off, “Your father who promised me to you if you were to marry? Is that the father you speak of?”
“He has told me that if improper treatment comes to you that he should be notified. He will respect Atilius’ choices; however, he will do what he can to ensure they are better ones. I also have Fabricius’ ear. Atilius looks up to Fabricius. I can have him talk to Atilius as well.”
Antonia forced a smile, but her stiff body betrayed her. “Gratitude for what you are trying to do. I hope that someday the two of us can look upon these trying days and remove them from memory.”
Justina slid closer to where Antonia stood. She wanted nothing more than to hug her. “You are my sister. I will not let anyone hurt you.”
“I am the sister of the sister of my master. Yet, he has never considered you a sister. Therefore, I am just property. Cato tried to warn me, but I refused to listen. He was right.” She looked directly at Justina. “Your promises to protect me have proven ineffective. Your mother and brother remind me daily of my true status. Now, please excuse me, I must attend to my daily chores.”
Justina’s eyes pleaded for her to stay, pleaded to hug her. Antonia turned and walked away but stopped at the doorway. “Gratitude for the years of being my sister in spirit,” she said without looking back. “It made me forget for awhile that I am truly a slave.”
“Do not give up on us, sister,” Justina said through tears. “I will see that we are together as it should be.”
Antonia did not turn. She left the room and did not look back. Justina collapsed on the bed.
Chapter 35
“Why don’t the two of you make yourself at home?” Caesar said as he entered his dining room. Seated at the table were Servilia and her son Brutus. They had been in a joyous mood, eating, drinking, laughing, and joking. When Caesar entered, the mood changed.
“Oh we have,” Servilia replied with a smirk. Her son was visibly tense in Caesar’s presence. Servilia was not.
“I am glad I can be so hospitable to the two of you,” Caesar noted. He looked specifically at Brutus and said, “I know what your mother does to stay in good favor, but I have yet to see benefit to your attendance.”
Brutus stiffened and spoke quickly. “I have word that Pompey sends invites to several senators for private gathering.”
Cesar smiled. “And this gathering? Would it be in two days?”
Brutus’ eyes widened. He looked over at Servilia. She shrugged. He looked back at Caesar. “How did you know?”
Caesar laughed again, only this time, his laugh seemed more menacing. He walked behind Brutus, gripped the back of his neck, and squeezed. Brutus tightened his neck muscles, but Servilia had felt Caesar’s grip; it was like iron. Brutus winced. Servilia sat straight up, her jovial mood gone. She wanted to rush to her son’s side to protect him but knew better. As Brutus’ face tightened, Caesar suddenly released his grip. Then he slapped Brutus hard to the back of his head.
“What did you do that for?” she barked. “He is doing as commanded.”
Caesar turned his attention to Servilia. “Your son gives me information that is already known. You think I would let my future ride in this idiot’s hands? He is but one of dozens who keep me informed.” Caesar spoke directly to Brutus. “And if you are going to give me yesterday’s news, you are worthless to me.”
He walked behind Brutus a second time. Servilia willed her son not to flinch. “Maybe your inside connection is not as good as you claim,” he said to the back of Brutus’ head. “You asked me, no, begged me for more responsibilities to speed your road to the senate. And this is all I get?”
“It is all I have been given by Herminius,” Brutus answered.
Caesar turned to Servilia once again. “I show generosity to your friend the butcher. I allow his son to be a part of the executions at the games. I even give his family great seats at the arena. If this is how I am to be repaid for everything I have done for his family, as well as yours, then maybe it all should come to a swift end.” He turned back to Brutus. “Either bring me information that will be useful or find yourself no longer in my presence,” he said forcefully. “Now get out.”
Brutus almost leapt from his seat in his haste to leave. It was times like these, times when Caesar demeaned her only son, that Servilia wondered why she stayed, why she allowed this to happen. But she had to admit, there was part of her that was disappointed in her son’s inability to stand up to Caesar. Brutus did not understand, but Servilia did. When standing in the face of power, weakness is abhorred. Servilia got up slowly and took her time preparing to leave.
Caesar took a seat across the table from her. “You may stay, Servilia. You serve a different need.”
Servilia waited until Brutus left the room. She placed her hands on the table and leaned in to Caesar. “I will not have my son talked to and treated this way. I know you to be under a great deal of pressure, so I will allow this one act to go without notice, but I do not expect it to happen again.” She stood, straightened her clothes, and turned to leave.
Caesar let her get halfway across the room, then spoke, “I suggest you meet with the butcher again and emphasize the importance of this assignment. Do not return until you know exactly what I want and need from you and your son.”
Servilia paused. She looked at Caesar intently, then turned and left.
Chapter 36
april 6, 55 BC
It had been a while since she sat at the dinner table, but the conversation with her father had given Justina hope. If there was a way she and Fabricius could be together, then perhaps there was a way she could break Antonia of this bondage to Atilius. It required only thought and careful planning. There was a way, Justina only needed to find it.
It was the first family dinner in quite some time where everyone was in attendance. Livius sat in his usual spot at the head of the table, Alba was to his right. Atilius sat next to his mother, with Lucilius on his other side. Justina took her seat between her older brothers.
As the house slaves placed plates of meat and fish on the table, Fabricius leaned in and whispered, “My heart swells seeing you back to normal. I see that you finally saw fit to bathe as well,” he said with a smile.
Justina returned the smile. “I have great news from father that I will share with you later this evening. I hope your patrol today didn’t leave you wanting an early slumber.”
Their mother flashed them a disapproving look. “What are these whispers?” she asked. “Do we all now keep secrets in this
house?”
“Apologies, mother,” said Fabricius. “I was just telling Justina how nice it is to see her dining with us.”
Justina was about to respond, when she caught her father’s cautionary look. At the same time, Fabricius gave her leg a quick squeeze.
Antonia entered the room with a jug of wine. She walked slowly but deliberately to the table. Her shoulders were sunk, and she had the look of one resigned to her future. Justina tried to make eye contact, but Antonia’s gaze was fixed on the ground.
“Slave, bring me wine,” Atilius ordered. Antonia moved to Atilius and filled his cup, her hands shaking as she poured. “Leave the jug for another slave,” he said when Antonia had finished pouring. “Go to my room and wait there ‘til commanded.”
Lucilius chuckled. Both Antonia and Justina looked to her father, but he remained expressionless.
“Did you not hear your new master?” Alba chimed in. “He commands you to go and wait his arrival in his room. Do not look elsewhere for guidance.”
“Wait at the foot of my bed on your knees,” Atilius added. “This will be your new resting place.”
“We have suitable quarters for all of the slaves in this house down the hall, Atilius,” Livius offered.
Alba jumped at her husband’s comment. “Are you now telling our son how to use and enjoy his gift? Did your father do that to you?”
The attention of the entire table was now focused on Livius. Justina waited with eager anticipation to see if her father would do as promised. Cato raised an eyebrow. Livius’ eyes narrowed, and he exchanged a look with Alba that seemed to last an eternity. Two forces clashing for control of the household. The mood of the house was changing.
Justina felt a change happening in the household, one that began when Lucilius darkened their door. His ideas on the treatment of slaves was having a strong impact on Atilius. He was becoming power hungry. He was beginning to see them as something other than human. And worse yet, their mother seemed to be taking his side in the matter. The even-handed treatment their slaves had come to know and expect with Livius was quickly disintegrating and everyone—slave and master—could sense it.
Livius waited an unusually long time before he answered. “Do as commanded, Antonia,” he finally said.
Justina’s heart fell. Alba smiled. Fabricius was about to speak when Livius flashed him a stern look.
“This slave and all should be sleeping at our feet, like the dogs they are,” Lucilius said, suddenly embolden. “We were blessed to be able to execute them just weeks ago in front of so many Romans.”
Livius sent Lucilius a stern look, but with Atilius and now Alba on his side, the look had little impact.
“I never got to thank you for the seats at the arena,” Justina said suddenly. Fabricius again squeezed her leg.
“You are quite welcome, Justina,” Lucilius replied. “I hope they were to your satisfaction.”
“Very much so. They enabled me to see what a donkey’s ass you truly are.”
“Justina!” Alba yelled out.
Lucilius only laughed.
“May I be excused?” Atilius said to his mother. “I have many things that need doing and with only one slave, she will be quite busy for the next several hours.”
“You may be excused. You as well, Lucilius. In fact, I shall take leave. I grow tired of eating next to my disobedient daughter.”
Justina was smug. She waited until all had left, then addressed her father directly. “Father! What has happened that power shifts to that side of the table? You are the Dominus in this household. I sit next to a great mind in Herminius and a great warrior in Fabricius. Across the table are just two foot soldiers and an angry old woman.”
“Do not speak of your mother like that!” Livius barked.
Justina was undaunted. “She treats you like her slave and yet you defend her? What makes you cower like a beaten dog?”
Livius put his head down. Fabricius squeezed Antonia’s leg even harder. It had no effect.
“Answer me, father!” she demanded.
“Justina!” Fabricius yelled.
“Justina,” Herminius added. “Father has his reasons. Though they may not be evident to us, they…”
Justina addressed Herminius, “They may be his reasons, but they are having an impact upon the entire house. You, me, and everyone else are suffering the effect of those decisions.” She turned to her father. “What secret does she hold, father? What does mother know that forces an honorable man to cower and dishonor his promises?”
“Justina!” Fabricius yelled a second time. “You push too far! Father…”
“Stop!” Livius yelled. The entire table went quiet. Livius took a deep breath, then spoke, “I am the reason Antonia is without parents.”
The revelation came unexpected.
“What is your meaning?” Justina asked. “How could you be responsible for that?”
“I’m confused, father,” said Herminius. “Did you fail to provide adequate care in their illness?”
Livius took a very deep breath. “We used the excuse of illness for cover,” he said looking first to Herminius, then to Justina. “Your mother and I were having…problems. You were just a baby, maybe two years of age. Alba and I were no longer sharing bed. One night, she decided to bring both of Antonia’s parents into her bedchambers. I heard noise coming from that room, so I entered, finding all three naked and in hot desires.” He paused, taking a drink of wine. The table was silent.
“I was infuriated. I wasn’t thinking. I grabbed Alba and threw her from the bed. Antonia’s mother jumped and ran to the corner of the room. I was left with Antonia’s father, on the bed before me. My bed. The bed I shared with my wife.” Justina cupped her mouth. Fabricius sat still. Herminius’ eyed widened in anticipation.
Livius paused. It was clear the tragic events were playing back in his mind. “He tried to explain the situation, but I wasn’t listening. All I saw was a man in bed with my wife. I hated him more than I had ever hated another human being,” he said and bowed his head before continuing. “I suppose the soldier in me took over. I retrieved a dagger I kept hidden in the room and…” He paused, then looked directly at Justina. “I killed him.”
Fabricius reached over and placed a hand on his father’s arm. Justina started crying. He took his other arm and placed it around his sister. Livius continued, “The next morning, I sold Antonia’s mother to a slave trader so she would be taken far away. I made Alba promise to not ever share this information. All of you were young and did not witness, so hiding excuse was easy. I never realized it was your mother who commanded Antonia’s parents to join her in the bedroom. In my rage, I had forgotten that slaves do not act on their own, but only as forced. They did not deserve the end they met.” He looked down. “I will always regret my decisions leading up to that day and my actions that night. I live with the burden of what it is like to truly kill an innocent man and to condemn another to her death,” he said looking specifically at Fabricius.
Justina suddenly jumped up and ran to her father, throwing her arms around his neck.
“You need to know that after that night, I swore I would never harm another person again, and I have not.” There were tears in his eyes. Justina hugged her father even harder. She couldn’t imagine what it must have felt like to carry such a burden. She had always known him to be kind and gentle. To kill an innocent person, even in the heat of passion, the weight of guilt must have been unbearable.
“Now, she knows your feelings for Antonia and tries to hurt you,” he continued, “She also tries to put wedge between you and me.”
“We all make choices throughout our lives father, hoping they are all for the better. This one act, although awful, has made you a great father and a wonderful owner to our slaves,” Herminius said. He stood and shook his father’s hand. Livius smiled appreciatively at his son.
“You are a great man and a great father,” Fabricius added. “That will never change.” Livius nodded his a
ppreciation.
With the secret out, Livius’ burden had been relieved. The fact that his sons had not viewed him in less light meant more to him than they would ever know—that is, until they had sons of their own. But it was Justina’s hug that had given him the most comfort. It was her disapproval that he feared most, so it was her forgiveness that he cherished.
“I knew it was in this family’s best interests to keep Atilius from the Roman Army for an extra two years. He has shown his immaturity and lack of ability to own a slave. I must rectify that situation. Go now,” he said to his children. “I have much to ponder and a bit of a mess to straighten out.”
After they all left the room, Livius looked over at Cato. “Please, come sit,” he said.
Cato walked over from the corner of the room where he had been standing and took the seat adjacent to Livius. They shared a knowing look, then Livius poured him a cup of wine. “Am I a monster?” he asked as he poured.
“That is not for me to decide,” Cato told him. “I have always been aware of the actions from that night. Although I have never shared details with anyone, I let any slave who enters this house know that their master is still a Roman.”
Livius nodded. Cato’s caution to the slaves was not unexpected. Still, it stung. Livius looked at his head slave. He couldn’t help but wonder what a man like Cato could have accomplished if his birth hadn’t limited him so. He stood and held his cup in toast. Then turned to walk away.
“I am grateful for the past dozen plus years that you have not had reason for such punishment to any others,” Cato said.
Livius turned and placed his hand on Cato’s shoulder. “You are a good friend.”
Chapter 37
Fabricius followed Justina to her room, eager to learn what she and father had discussed. She rushed inside, while Fabricius closed the door. When he turned, Justina was sitting on her bed. “Will you not join me over here, mighty Fabricius?” she said and patted the space next to her.
