Knowing Yourself - A Medieval Romance

by C.M. Owens

  Chapter 3

  Kay closed the main doors of the keep behind her, stopping for a moment with her hand against the heavy wood. She drew in a deep breath, steeling herself. It was time to find out for herself what Uther was really like. She could not make a decision on the man’s honor based on hearsay. She had to see, with her own two eyes, what he was capable of.

  She headed up the stairs and strode into the boisterous noise of the main hall. Uther was sitting before flickering flames of the large fireplace, his red cheeks made more rosy by the heat. He was flanked on either side by Galeron and Alistair. As she walked up Galeron rose at once, sweeping into a low bow.

  “It is frosty tonight; let me offer you the seat by the fire,” he greeted her, moving to one side. “I shall go sit on the opposite end; I am warm enough for now.”

  “As you wish,” she agreed, nodding to him.

  Uther grinned in delight as she settled herself down next to him. He leant over past her, reaching for the basket of bread, ripping off a piece and popping it into his mouth.

  “How are you tonight, my dear?” he asked in a low, rumbling voice.

  Kay forced herself to smile widely. She was on a mission, after all. She had to see just what Uther was saying to the women he was attempting to seduce.

  “Much better, now that I am by the warmth,” she murmured, giving her arms a quick rub.

  It was nice by the fire; the dancing flames were soothing after the crisp autumn air. She glanced up at him for a moment, then demurely brought her eyes down to her lap again. She had been short, almost unwelcoming with him before. She knew it would seem far too suspicious if she now launched herself at him full bore. She had to take this slowly, to pretend to thaw under his influence.

  Uther’s hand moved to land heavily on hers, and she started back in surprise, stifling a cry. A chuckle emitted from deep within her, and she shook her head. Perhaps her concerns about careful change were unnecessary – Uther was already stroking her hand with seductive slowness.

  “I knew you would come around,” he purred, nudging closer to her. “You were only playing hard to get.” He took a long drink of his wine, leaning back with pleasure. He moved his lips to her ears. “Of course you were pretending to dislike me,” he added beneath his breath in a knowing tone. “You work for Keren-happuch, after all. You could hardly let her know how you truly felt!”

  Kay looked up at him, her eyes sparkling with amusement at how easy this was. “You can see right through me,” she whispered, giving her lashes a flutter. “I knew it from the start, from the first moment I laid eyes on you.”

  “I knew it as well,” enthused Uther, his eyes locked on hers, his hand closing over her own. “I could feel it every time we were near each other, that you were the one meant for me. It was torture each time you left the room; sheer bliss when you would return.”

  There was a loud thunk from the end of the room. Kay’s eyes flicked across automatically. Reese was standing by the main table and had apparently just put his tankard of ale down on the wood – hard, judging by the wave of foam which had splashed over onto the surface and his sleeve. Jessica rushed forward with a towel, quickly mopping up the spill, her eyes glancing between Uther and Kay with a nervous twitch.

  Kay brought her gaze back to Uther. There was enough time to deal with Reese and Jessica later. There were only so many dramas she could juggle at once. Right now she had one focus, and that was the man before her.

  Uther raised his glass to hers, and she clinked hers against his before draining her liquid down. She would need some fortification to make it through this night.

  Plates of sweets were brought and removed, her glass was filled and refilled, and as the evening progressed Uther’s body seemed to inch nearer to hers, his face ever closer to her own. Strangely, despite her doubts about his character, Kay could almost see the allure the man had, the power he had to draw in a woman. He was flattering, yes, but he always found a way to single out the traits she wanted to have attention drawn to. He listened to her, asking questions about her stories which showed he had actually heard what she said.

  His voice was a low rumble. “Shall we go for a walk?”

  She shook herself, looking around. She had almost forgotten others were present in the room. Galeron was busy scribbling notes on his tablet, while Alistair and Jack were in a heated discussion over something involving a battle in the holy land. Reese …

  She blinked in surprise. Reese was looking down the table at her, his eyes hooded, holding what could almost be disappointment. She looked away quickly, taking in a deep breath. In Reese’s eyes, she was only a maid servant, after all. She should care little what Reese felt about her. There were more important issues at stake.

  “I would love to go for a walk with you,” she agreed sweetly, putting her hand into Uther’s. His florid face flushed deeper crimson with delight, and he stood, drawing her to her feet, up against him. She stumbled back slightly, then turned, bringing him along with her. In a moment, he had taken the lead, moving them across the emptying main hall.

  Kay was brimming with curiosity. “Where are we going?” She knew the castle inside and out, knew every nook, every cranny. Where had Uther decided on for their time together?

  His voice dropped low. “I heard there was an area near here named lover’s lane. That sounded quite promising.”

  Kay chuckled, shaking her head. “That small valley certainly cannot be seen into from the keep or its walls, but it is rough and rocky, and probably muddy to boot this time of year. The name is more a tease than anything else.”

  “Ah,” responded Uther, a hint of disappointment in his voice. “I suppose things are not always as they seem.” He quickly rallied, and he moved closer to her. “In that case, I think we should go to the chapel,” he suggested in an even lower voice. “We can talk undisturbed there, I should think.”

  Kay smiled in agreement, relaxing. Her fear had been that Uther would go with her up onto the walls; that he would expose her to censure amongst the men she cared for the most. She would much rather have this discussion take place somewhere unseen. The chapel did, indeed, seem like the ideal location. As long as it was less busy than it had been earlier in the evening!

  They moved down the stairs and out the main door. In only moments he had pushed open the heavy wooden door which led into the small stone building.

  She paused for a long moment, allowing her eyes to adjust to the gloom. There were ten wooden pews on either side, and the few flickering candles threw shadows and dancing light into the quiet chamber. The altar at the head of the room bore a simple woven cloth on its top, with the beautifully hand-carved statue of Mary. Kay knew that Stephen, the stout stable boy, made a new idol for the chapel each year, and his talents as a woodcarver were quite impressive.

  Slowly, reverently, Uther led her down the pews, stopping for a moment at the end of the row before slipping sideways and sitting on the wooden bench. Kay found herself hushed and serene as she sat beside him.

  Uther turned to take both of her hands in his own. “I have always imagined you in here,” he whispered. He dropped his eyes for a moment. “I have always envisioned you by my side, trusting in me.” He brought his eyes up to hers again and in the candlelight they were liquid pools of azure. “Do you trust me, darling Kay?”

  Kay found herself caught up in the mood. “Yes,” she answered almost without thinking.

  “Kay …” He took in a deep breath, then blurted out his speech in a quick rush. “I love you, Kay. I have loved you since I first saw you, saw you riding off into the horizon, saw the joy for life in your heart. I knew at once you were the only woman for me.”

  “We barely know each other,” protested Kay, almost overwhelmed by his emotions.

  “The way you handle yourself on your horse; the way you are so at ease with your mount. The way you are kind and understanding with the staff. Your windswept beauty. Your obvious love of this keep.” He gazed deeply into her eyes. “Is
there more I need to know?” He leant forward to kiss her on the cheek.

  Kay knew she should be fighting this, but it seemed so honest, from the heart, what he was saying. He was touching on qualities she cherished deeply in herself. His face seemed completely open, as if he were pouring out his deepest soul. He could not lie in a church, could he?

  “What about Keren-happuch?” she gasped hoarsely, clinging to sanity.

  He shook his head, his eyes glowing with fierce passion. “It was my father’s doing, to send me on that quest,” he insisted. “Now I see that I must take charge of my own destiny. If his foolhardy directive brought me to meet you, then I call that fate. I will turn my back on my father, on my family, and pledge myself to you. Only to you – if you will have me.” His eyes glimmered with pleading, hope, and despair.

  Kay could see it all so clearly now. She was drawn by the power of his carefully crafted words, of his appreciative eyes, of his hands which slowly, steadily, pulled her in. She could understand how easily the women of the keep had been cocooned in his web. If she had not been forewarned of those same techniques being used on others, she might have half-believed what he said was true. It would have been so easy to think that he honestly had fallen for her traits, that he had glimpsed the beauty of her inner soul.

  But she was not the first. He had gone down this same road with Anne, with Jessica, with perhaps even with several others if she were not mistaken. Once he had corrupted her, he would blackmail her into remaining his mistress, becoming part of his harem.

  She had to get away. She had to warn Em.

  Kay took in a deep breath. She shook her head with a gentle motion, drawing a few inches away from him.

  “I need to think about it,” she sighed, tingeing her voice with a hint of sadness.

  Uther grew rigid against her, drawing her in closer. “But I love you,” he insisted, his eyes becoming even more luminous. “You can feel it, too. We are soul mates. We are meant to be together. We are here in this sacred church. You feel it in your bones. If we are together, here, tonight, then nothing will ever part us.” His hands moved slowly, inexorably against her, pulling her tightly in, his mouth kissing gently along her neck, her cheeks. “You know it was meant to be.”

  His hands did feel like gentle caresses, his lips incredibly tender, but Kay’s heart beat faster with panic with every passing moment. She pressed to draw away, but he did not release her, did not let up on his ever-strengthening motions toward her.

  Kay began to struggle in earnest. “Let me go,” she insisted in a low voice.

  “I know you, you are a fighting spirit,” he growled, his attentions becoming more passionate. “You know what it is to ride a horse hard. They resist at first, and then they relish the flight, the power of it. You want it. I can feel it in you. I will give you what you crave!”

  A snap shook through her as she realized he was serious. She pulled away from him hard, twisting. Instantly he rolled down off the pew on top of her, holding her down with his body, his hands eagerly moving across her tunic top, his face lost in the shadows. Whatever soothing litanies he was now calling out, Kay was beyond hearing them.

  Kay lunged her hand down toward her waist, drawing her dagger, flipping herself over and on top of him. She pressed her blade hard against his throat.

  Time froze.

  In the shadowy dusk of the chapel floor, the eyes that stared up at her were reflected black marbles.

  Kay bit out her words, hoarse and guttural. “Get out of this holy place,” she snarled. She held the blade against his neck for a long moment, then rolled to her feet, releasing him.

  Uther slowly brought himself to standing, rubbing his neck, looking her over. “I should have known you were frigid,” he grumbled at last. He turned with a shrug, moving his way down the shadowy aisle. When he reached the main door he threw it open with a push, striding out into the courtyard and leaving the door wide behind him.

  Kay stared at the open doorway, at the streaming moonlight, her heart hammering against her ribs.

  Suddenly a form was standing there, moving into the light from the back of the chapel where he had been hidden. Reese walked the length toward her with a few quick strides, coming to a stop before her, his eyes lost in the shadows.

  “Kay? Are you all right?”

  She shook her head, looking down almost in surprise at the dagger still in her hands. “He would not have stopped,” she whispered, the enormity of the danger hitting her like a physical blow.

  Reese gently took the dagger from her hand, and suddenly she found she had stepped forward, had pressed herself against the safety of his chest. She sighed in relief as his arms came around her and held her tight. A wave of tremors ran through her.

  She could barely speak, her throat tightened so. “He would not have stopped,” she repeated. “If I had not seen it myself, I would not have believed their reports to be true.”

  The hand stroking her hair froze for a long moment, and when Reese spoke again, there was a note of understanding mixed with the calm. “I should have known. You did this on purpose?”

  “Of course I did,” she agreed, her shoulders finally easing, her body relaxing against his. “I had to know for myself. I had to know the truth.”

  Reese gently pressed her back, looking down into her eyes. “Surely there was another way,” he insisted, his voice hoarse. “To put yourself at such a risk -”

  She shook her head. “Would I put another into that risk instead?” she asked. “If it was to be found out, I needed to do so for myself.”

  He compressed his lips, his eyes shadowed. “You take great chances for your lady. I hope she appreciates you.”

  Kay smiled at that. “We appreciate each other, she and I,” she gently corrected Reese.

  He glanced at the open door. “Did you want to go out and get some fresh air?”

  She shook her head. “I feel like this chapel has been … tainted, somehow,” she responded, moving slowly, carefully to the pew she had just been sitting on with Uther. She took in a deep breath, then lowered herself into the pew. “It is like falling off a horse. I need to overwrite those memories with something better, something honorable. I will not have this chapel become a place I have poor memories of.”

  She put up a hand to him, and he took it without hesitation, moving to sit beside her.

  She looked around the familiar room. “Let me tell you of my favorite memories here,” she softly offered. “I adore hearing the carols sung in the wintertime, when a fire is blazing in the corner, when the room is snug and warm and full of friends. I love hearing the voices blending together, seeing the snow fall through the windows outside, knowing we are safe and secure. The grey stone echoes our song and sends it up to the heavens.”

  His eyes held hers. “That does seem a wonderful event to experience,” he murmured.

  “Then there is springtime,” she mused, leaning back, closing her eyes. “Fresh garlands of daisies run down every pew, fragrant flowers are strewn on the altar. The entire room is filled with the scents of heather and rose. Spring is when Stephen brings us his newest version of Mary, freshly carved, to last us the year. It feels like the garden of Eden is around us.”

  “I suppose summer is even better,” he encouraged, his eyes warm.

  Kay nodded, peace flowing through her. “Summer is the time of love, of weddings,” she agreed with a smile. “My father was married in the summertime, and he has a summer birthday as well. We enjoy delicious feasts, the sun streams in glowing ribbons, fresh breezes waft through the windows, and the world is clothed in flowers. One could hope for no more.”

  “And then comes autumn,” he filled in.

  “Autumn is the fruition of all,” she sighed in contentment. “The bounty of harvest, the grape-vine wreaths, the lush fruit wines, and the rich honey. It is everything one could hope for. There is much to be thankful for when fall is here.”

  She leant back, looking around her at the familiar carvings, the f
lickering candles, and the arched windows. “I love this chapel,” she murmured after a long moment. “I love everything about it. I could not imagine another in its place. I am glad beyond all measure that it kept me safe this evening.”

  “I would have kept you safe,” vowed Reese in a low voice. “I was halfway down the aisle before I realized you had the situation well in hand. I could not understand what you were up to. Now I do.”

  “I am glad you were here,” offered Kay after a moment. “I have to admit, I am not used to men who would press their attentions like that. Perhaps it is common in larger castles – but it is not something we have encountered here.”

  “It is not a habit at my home either,” agreed Reese. “However, I have heard Uther boast that the men of his family took great liberties with their staff; that it was almost expected of them.”

  Kay’s voice grew hard. “Well, then, he will find another task expected of him tomorrow, when he has his morning meeting.”

  Reese’s voice grew quiet. “You think Keren-happuch will want him to leave?”

  The corner of Kay’s mouth twitched up. “I think Keren-happuch will want to see him drawn and quartered, but yes, I imagine she will satisfy herself with having him head back home again.”

  Reese’s brows drew together in concern, and he turned on the bench to face Kay. “He may not go quietly,” he warned, his jaw tight.

  Kay gave him a gentle pat on the arm. “You wait and see,” she suggested with a soft smile. “You may yet be surprised.”