by Cole, Fiona
“I guess I should formally introduce you to my partner, Ian Bergamo,” Erik spoke up.
“Huh,” I breathed a laugh, barely holding back the manic chuckle brewing. I’d been so close to him the whole time, always missing him when he traveled to London for their business. What were the odds?
“Yeah, we didn’t quite get to last names when we met,” Ian muttered.
Jared choked on another laugh, but quickly pulled it together when Alexandra slapped his shoulder.
“Carina Russo,” I stated simply.
“Next time, Erik, let’s use first names when talking about the people we’re working with.” Ian smiled with no humor. “I had no idea you were the Miss Russo he kept mentioning.”
“Well, now we know.”
Ian and I had a staring duel until a petite hand rested on Ian’s shoulder, pulling his attention away. Hanna squeezed his shoulder supportively, and he gave her a real grin that reached his eyes. Jealously pierced my chest, and I almost laughed at how absurd it was. I hadn’t seen Ian in eight months. Maybe he was dating Hanna, a petite, demure, beautiful woman who wasn’t the size of a whale.
I couldn’t blame him. I liked Hanna. She was sweet and had a quirky sense of humor. She also made the most amazing chocolate chip cookies I’d grown to crave in my pregnancy. I’d spoken with her each time I visited the office. We laughed over the men in the room, grabbed lunch on occasion. But now, when I looked at her, all I felt was similar feelings I’d had to Jackson being with Jake: doubt, insecure, hurt.
When fire burned my nose, I quickly looked away from the sweet moment, and pulled out the papers, starting the meeting. I moved quickly and avoided eye contact with Ian as much as possible. Which wasn’t easy considering he was the main informant on the London office they were opening. He’d done all the traveling and in-person research.
Thankfully, he was able to keep it professional, and we moved through the meeting quickly. I wasn’t sure what the next step was, but the only thing I could think about right now was getting the hell out of that building. Each second it took to shove another folder in my purse, the pressure built more and more.
Go, go, go. Get out of there.
“I looked for you,” Ian said under his breath across the table as everyone slowly gathered their things. They were trying not to look curious and failing miserably. It only took so long to grab a pamphlet and phone.
“Not right now, Ian. We’re working.” We technically weren’t anymore, but anything to hold him off.
“Tough shit, Carina,” he growled loud enough for everyone to hear and stop.
I didn’t have the ability to form words out of the frustrated chaos swirling through my mind, so I settled on a glare.
“That’s my baby,” he said even louder, his finger pointing at my stomach. “I think that takes a little precedence over work.”
“Maybe for you, but my work is important to me. Have a little patience and wait ten fucking minutes until we leave this office.”
Ian’s jaw clenched before snapping open with his own reply, but Erik cut him off.
“Well, as much as I’d love to stay and watch, I have another meeting to get to. Lovely to see you, Carina.”
“We done?” Ian asked Erik.
Erik gave me a cursory glance for approval, and I nodded. “Yes.”
“Good.” Ian latched on to my arm and dragged me behind him. Everyone stared with wide eyes, mostly filled with humor and excitement.
Except Hanna who watched with hurt lingering in her green depths, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he pulled me out with him, leaving a girlfriend behind.
If Ian had a girlfriend, then where did that leave the baby and me? Would he try to take the baby for shared custody? My steps faltered at the thought.
Seven months—for seven months, I’d accepted that I was on my own. I made plans on my own. I prepared for a future that held just Peanut and me. Now, Ian clutched my hand, dragging me to where we would talk about a future that included him and whatever his life looked like.
The endless possibilities of what that could be swarmed and crashed through all my plans, rocking my foundation, and making me want to tug free and run.
Some nights, I’d lain in bed and concocted scenarios where I’d run into Ian, and I’d picture the man in the photos, laughing with me. We’d meet for coffee, realize we were in love, and all would work out. I knew they were just fantasies to help cope with being alone, but never in a million years had I imagined this scenario of possibly having it all taken away.
As we crossed the threshold into his office, I made a promise to myself and Peanut—I wasn’t going to crumble under my fear, and I wasn’t going to let him barrel through my well-constructed plans.
I knew I’d have to let him in our lives, but I would say how much.
5 Ian
Holy fuck. Holy fuck. Oh. Holy. Fuck.
With every step closer to my office, my chant rang louder.
That, and thinking about how soft her hand was. Somehow my mind tore in two. One side was panicking about the pregnant woman behind me, and the other was wondering how fast I could feel those soft hands on the rest of my body. Although, that thought shriveled up and died when I finally closed us in my office and turned to find her harsh scowl. I even took a step back from her until I bumped against my desk.
Rather than letting her know how shaky my legs felt, I leaned against the edge and crossed my arms, lifting my chin like that had been the plan the whole time.
“It is mine, right?”
“Maybe it’s not.”
“Carina,” I growled.
Her hands moved to her hips, pulling the jacket she wore open and exposing more of her belly. The belly that had my baby inside it. A baby. My baby.
She didn’t have to say it, because I may not have spent much time with her, but I knew enough to know she wouldn’t screw around about this if it wasn’t mine.
My throat threatened to close up on me, but I swallowed hard, blotting that out for now. Carina stood before me, her chin high and proud, her eyes hard and scared.
Carina, the woman who haunted me at night—and during the day. The woman who had me jerking off more than I’d like to admit over the past eight months was standing in my office, looking gorgeous…and scared.
I’d had an hour to deal with the fact that she was pregnant, and, in that time, the fear was crushing me under its weight. I’d barely taken anything in during the meeting, focusing on controlling the increasing pressure on my chest—trying to create a plan of action in my head. Questions had bombarded me, fears of being a father—of being responsible for another life created chaos, images of how my life would change, making it hard to breathe.
But she’d been dealing with that pressure for months. And she’d been alone.
She didn’t have to be alone. “Why didn’t you find me?”
One eyebrow slowly rose. “Well, Ian,” she began, her tone dripping with condescension. “Without a last name, you’re hard to find.”
“You’ve been working with us for seven months. How could you not know?”
Her arms flung out to the side. “I don’t know, Ian. How could you not know? Could it be I’ve only been here six times, and you weren’t here for any of the meetings? Could it be that I was working directly with Erik? Maybe that’s it.”
She stepped away from the door, prowling further into the room with each reason for not making the connection. I had to admit, with each sarcastic remark, I recalled how much I missed her sass. No other woman had compared since her. All of them too easy. There’d been no challenge like Carina.
“You know, none of this would have happened if you’d just have given me your number.”
“I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if you could have kept it in your pants. And maybe I didn’t want you to find me, thinking I wanted a repeat.”
“You didn’t seem to mind my company when I had my fingers between your legs or when I fucked you against a w
all. In fact, I seem to remember you crying for more.”
Color rose high on her cheeks, but she didn’t look away. “Momentary lapse in judgment.”
I shook my head and laughed. “You’re still such a pain.”
She didn’t respond. Instead the seconds ticked by as we continued to stare, a world of tension swimming in the small two feet between us. As much as I could’ve stared at her for hours, we had bigger issues to deal with.
“So, what are we going to do?”
“Nothing,” she answered easily, but I could hear the hitch in her voice. She was nervous. “I’m doing fine on my own. And now you know.”
My heart thundered in my chest, picking up the pace until I was worried it would break free. She expected me to do nothing?
Of course, she did, Ian. No one expected anything serious from you. I shook that voice off, not liking how close it sounded to my parents. “Are you shitting me, Carina? That’s my baby.”
“I’m aware.”
I almost laughed at how she could appear so haughty at a time like this, while my mind ran rampant.
I was going to be a father. And I had to tell my parents they would be grandparents. That thought filled me with a mixture of fear and excitement. They never thought I was capable of being more than a flippant playboy. Being a father would force them to see me. Of course, I’d have to admit that it was a one-night stand with a woman whose last name I hadn’t known, and that was where the fear came in.
They’d probably shake their heads and share a look of disappointment, but I had to hope maybe I’d also see a spark of excitement at becoming grandparents.
They were both successful doctors and had spent their lives traveling abroad while they pawned me off on nannies. The world had always been more important than their son.
Maybe if they had a grandchild, they would stay for more than one holiday a year.
Maybe if I had a wife.
The idea lit like a light bulb, flooding me until it came pouring out.
“Marry me.”
Her head jerked back like I’d slapped her. “What? No. God, no.”
I tried not to be too offended and ignore the squeezing in my chest at the disgust twisting her face. “Why?”
“Because we’ve been around each other for less than an hour and we’re already arguing.” She held up her fingers as she listed reasons off. “All we do is argue. Because I don’t know you. Because I could continue for another hour about all the reasons that’s a bad idea.”
“Then get to know me.” I offered what I thought was the easiest solution. Softening my tone, I stepped away from the desk and closer to her. “Like it or not, Carina, that’s my baby, and that means something to me. I can’t brush it off like you seem to want me to. So, we might as well try.”
The fear was winning over her stubborn pride, and I fought from pulling her to me and holding her close to comfort her. She swallowed hard, and I gave her space to think over what I said. I’d give her as long as she needed in here because no matter what, she wasn’t walking out that door without me knowing exactly how to reach her, and a plan for what was next.
“Do you have a girlfriend or…someone in your life?”
I blinked at her question, trying to keep up with the subject change. “What? No.”
“Are you lying?”
My head jerked back like she’d slapped me. “No, I’m not lying. Your faith in me is awe-inspiring.”
“I don’t know you.”
“Again…” I tried to control the irritation her doubt arose. “Then get to know me.”
She swallowed, searching my face, the moment stretching on endlessly.
“Fine. We can get to know each other.” The breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding rushed out. “For the baby,” she clarified.
She pushed past me, and snatched a pen and paper from the desk, bending over to write.
“What is it?” I asked, watching her hair fall over her shoulder, aching to run my fingers through it.
“What?”
“The baby? Do you have a name?”
She stood upright and rested her hand on her belly. I struggled not to do the same. “I don’t know yet. I wanted to be surprised at the birth.”
That didn’t sound like her at all, and I liked the little tidbit that maybe Carina wasn’t as strait-laced as she portrayed. Although, I kind of already knew that when she let me make her come in front of a photographer.
“I want it to stay that way. So, no finding out,” she rushed out. “I’ve been preparing for this, and I have a plan that works.”
“Don’t worry. I don’t plan on storming in and making demands.”
Her shoulders sagged, and it hit me that that was what she thought I’d do. Come in and take away her control of the situation.
“We need to get together and work this out.”
She nodded, and I ached with the need to touch her—to feel where my baby lay. Unable to fight it anymore, I rested my hand over her belly, letting my fingers feel the soft fabric over her hard stomach. I half expected her to pull away and was pleased when she didn’t.
“You look beautiful, Carina. Radiant.”
Again, she blushed, and I struggled not to step closer and press my lips to her cheek to feel the warmth. Instead, I settled on using my other hand to stroke her skin, just to feel if it was as soft as I remembered. The blush deepened, and when she caught my smirk, she stepped back, pressing the paper to my hand.
“Send me your number, and I’ll let you know when I’m free to meet up.”
“This week,” I inserted, demanding at least one thing.
“This week,” she agreed and then she was gone.
I smiled going over her reaction to me touching her. She may not want to be, but she was still attracted to me, and I planned on using it as much as I could.
The thought of Carina and the baby was still terrifying. But now, picturing the family I wasn’t sure I’d ever have, it actually started to sound pretty damn good too.
6 Carina
Dad: I need to see you in my office.
Dad: Now.
Like a petulant child, I repeated his message in a snarky voice, mocking his command despite him not being able to hear it.
Rolling my eyes, I pushed my phone away and finished responding to Kent’s email. He asked me to travel to New York at the end of the year to get started on the hotel. Since my due date was in October, I agreed. I wasn’t one-hundred-percent sure how being a working mom would go, but I’d prepared for every contingency with a list of highly recommended nannies and preschools. Not that I was sure I’d need them since our company had a great childcare program, and I had fabulous aunts already fighting to watch Peanut. But a woman could never be too prepared.
My father, of course, encouraged me to take a year-long maternity leave, which I chose to ignore. My aunts had not-so-kind words to say about his idea, knowing it wasn’t what I would want, and since they were his older sisters, they had no issue saying them to his face.
I guess I also had Ian now.
I would probably know for sure if I’d returned his message from yesterday, but I just wasn’t ready. Would I ever be ready?
Groaning, I dropped my head into my hands. Just when I thought I had a grip on this pregnancy thing—accepting doing it on my own—along came Ian.
He put all my plans back to an unknown balance, setting my emotions on a spiral with it. Every time I tried to nail down how I felt about him being a part of our lives, things just churned harder. The one that haunted me the most was fear. I was terrified of how much he would take from me—how much of Peanut I’d have to share with him. Would Peanut love him more? Would I become second-best?
My phone pulled me out of that train of thought to nowhere with a reminding buzz of my father’s message. I needed to get up there before he came to get me.
I grabbed some papers I needed him to look at and covered my yawn. Each day, exhaustion wore on me a little more, but I was dete
rmined to squeeze in as much work before maternity leave as possible.
Walking the halls, I wondered what had my father issuing such harsh commands. He was brusque, but this sounded different, like he was mad. Maybe he was just eager to micromanage me a little bit more. I scoffed at the thought.
I knew he loved me—that he was proud of me, he just had a very old-school way of thinking, and I did my best to understand and continue to prove him wrong.
“You rang?” I said, popping my head through the crack in his door.
He looked up from his desk; his brows pulled low. The dark expression made even darker from the sun shining through the wall of glass behind him.
“What the hell is this?” he demanded.
I stepped closer to his desk and looked down at the stack of papers he tossed to the edge for me to see. Underneath our letterhead was the beginning of a contract with Bergamo and Brandt. But not one that worked directly with our company, but rather one that worked with me and a small team I’d assembled.
I’d tried to bring it up to him over the past few months, but he was so damn stubborn and never wanted to hear it. So, I did it anyway. Not necessarily behind his back—hence how he found it so easily. Just without taking it up with him directly.
“Where is the rest of the team on this? Why haven’t I seen it before now?”
Pulling my shoulders back, I rested my palms on the top of my stomach and stood proud, not letting him steamroll me. “Because I’m handling it on my own.”
“Carina…” The muscles in his jaw ticked. “Did Jake at least help you settle on the contract?”
Meaning did Jake make sure the big men didn’t talk little ole me into a lower cost than what we deserved. Obviously, he hadn’t looked past the first page. Otherwise, he’d be eating his words.
