Crimes Most Merry and Albright
Page 1
Crimes Most Merry and Albright
A Maizie Albright Star Detective “Between Cases” Holiday Omnibus: A View to a Chill & 17.5 Cartridges in a Pear Tree
Larissa Reinhart
Contents
Books by Larissa Reinhart
Larissa’s Gift to You!
A View to a Chill
1. Maizie Albright
2. Cherry Tucker
3. Maizie Albright
4. Cherry Tucker
5. Maizie Albright
6. Cherry Tucker
7. Maizie Albright
8. Maizie Albright
9. Cherry Tucker
10. Maizie Albright
11. Cherry Tucker
12. Maizie Albright
13. Cherry Tucker
14. Maizie Albright
15. Cherry Tucker
16. Maizie Albright
17. Cherry Tucker
18. Maizie Albright
19. Cherry Tucker
20. Maizie Albright
21. Cherry Tucker
22. Maizie Albright
23. Maizie Albright
24. Cherry Tucker
25. Maizie Albright
On A VIEW TO A CHILL
17.5 Cartridges in a Pear Tree
A Note to My Readers
1. #NewYearNewMe
2. #Maltease
3. #Unfanbelievable
4. #You’reAsCharmingAsAnEel
5. #Igorit
6. #WarHeadGirlPower
7. #DistrustMuch
8. #NoElfinWay
9. #TroubleInPumpkinSpice
10. #PortaNotty
11. #NoToNutballs
12. #TheDon’tComeInn
13. #NoSleighbellsJustSchnitzel
14. #TheGermanInquisition
15. #ACrisisOfViolence
16. #CowboyAction
17. #NotGudinoff
18. #HallmarkMovieDreams
19. #Wonderlied
20. #Oddjobed
21. #Alteregoism
22. #I’mReadyForMyCloseup
23. #RaidersOfTheLastSnark
24. #NewYearsRevolution
18 CALIBER (#6): Chapter preview
TV & Movie References in 17.5 CARTRIDGES
Larissa’s Series
The Maizie Albright Star Detective series
A Cherry Tucker Mystery series
Finley Goodhart Crime Capers
About the Author
Books by Larissa Reinhart
A Cherry Tucker Mystery Series
A CHRISTMAS QUICK SKETCH (prequel)
PORTRAIT OF A DEAD GUY (#1)
STILL LIFE IN BRUNSWICK STEW (#2)
HIJACK IN ABSTRACT (#3)
THE VIGILANTE VIGNETTE (#3.5)
DEATH IN PERSPECTIVE (#4)
THE BODY IN THE LANDSCAPE (#5)
A VIEW TO A CHILL (#6)
A COMPOSITION IN MURDER (#7)
A MOTHERLODE OF TROUBLE (in YEAR-ROUND TROUBLE)
Audio
PORTRAIT OF A DEAD GUY
STILL LIFE IN BRUNSWICK STEW
Box Set
CHERRY TUCKER MYSTERIES 1-3
Maizie Albright Star Detective Series
15 MINUTES
16 MILLIMETERS
NC-17
A VIEW TO A CHILL
17.5 CARTRIDGES IN A PEAR TREE
18 CALIBER
18 1/2 DISGUISES
19 CRIMINALS (coming soon!)
Audio
15 MINUTES
16 MILLIMETERS
NC-17
18 CALIBER
18 1/2 DISGUISES
Box Set
#WANNABEDETECTIVE, MAIZIE ALBRIGHT 1-3
CRIMES BOTH MERRY AND ALBRIGHT
A Finley Goodhart Crime Caper Series
PIG’N A POKE (prequel, short story)
THE CUPID CAPER
THE PONY PREDICAMENT (coming soon!)
THE HEIR AFFAIR (coming soon!)
Larissa’s Gift to You!
THE PIG’N A POKE
A Finley Goodhart Crime Caper prequel
When a winter storm traps ex-con Finley at the Pig'N a Poke roadhouse, she finds her criminal past useful in solving a murder.
Free for my VIP Readers!
* * *
Tap this link to join Larissa’s email group where she shares exclusive content, news, and giveaways — https://www.larissareinhart.com/larissasreaders — and receive The Pig’N A Poke as a gift.
A View to a Chill
A Cherry Tucker & Maizie Albright Interconnected Mystery
For grandmothers everywhere. xoxo
And to the Hallmark Channel for entertaining me every Christmas.
One
Maizie Albright
#LastChristmas(I’mGladIt’sNot)
Who could turn down a grandmother's request to find a missing granddaughter at Christmas? This is not a rhetorical question. The answer is Jolene Sweeney. Half-owner of Nash Security Solutions.
I'm Maizie Albright. I worked for the good half (as I call it) of Nash Security Solutions. To punish Wyatt Nash, as crazy ex-wives are wont to do, Jolene opened her own private investigation office. (She’s competing against herself. Jolene's more into revenge than logic.) When a little, old lady — aka Celia Fowler — appealed to Jolene to help her find her granddaughter, Jolene estimated Mrs. Fowler’s community and net worth and told Mrs. Fowler "Sweeney Security Solutions only deals with an exclusive clientele."
Too bad, so sad. A big no to finding her granddaughter. At Christmas, no less.
Besides acting as a pretender in the private eye world, Jolene's also a high-end real estate agent and a Who's Who in Black Pine society.
And nominated for Grinch of the year. By me.
Not just for turning down poor Mrs. Fowler. Jolene's one of the most spiteful women I'd met, and I recently moved to Black Pine from Hollywood, so that tells you something. Hollywood did spite for curtain calls. Jolene's spite would be lauded with an Oscar. Except it's not a performance. She had permanent RBF (resting bitch face) of the soul.
Enough of the dastardly Jolene Sweeney.
Who else would turn down a grandmother's request on Christmas? Wyatt Nash. My boss at Nash Security Solutions and the man of my dreams.
Wait, what? I meant it's the job of my dreams. After playing the lead in Julie Pinkerton: Teen Detective, I longed to be a real private investigator when I grew up. It just took me until age twenty-five to get there.
I digressed. Why would Nash turn down Mrs. Fowler? Nash did a good Southern gentleman. Normally he's concerned with the plight of the less fortunate. Not so big on helping the more fortunate, but we'd been burned by the more fortunate in recent investigations. My old therapist, Renata, would say he had a white knight complex. He also had a hard body, a wickedly sexy smile, and cool blue eyes, à la Paul Newman. Total PI McDishy. If you're into muscle-y men who rarely smiled (despite the sexiness) and created dictums against dating their subordinates.
Which evidently, I was.
Anyhoo, it seemed Mrs. Fowler was an oldy but a goody in the private investigation world of Black Pine—a world comprised of Nash Security Solutions and now Sweeney Security Solutions. Every Christmas for the last five years, Mrs. Fowler asked Nash to find her missing granddaughter. He obliged her the last four, but not this year.
"It's a wild goose chase," Nash had said. He took a turn from the front office, into his inner sanctum.
Maybe inner cubby would be a better definition. A smaller office comprised of a wooden desk, an ancient computer, and file cabinets holding Nash's wardrobe and surveillance gadgets. It smelled of old paper, dust, and a spicy, manly, pheromone-filled fragrance, I like to call Eau de N
ash. When working reception and billing, I took yoga breaks to pull that scent into my lungs. It's like a scent hug from Nash.
Don't tell him. It sounds weird when I say it out loud.
Also, don't judge. Nash had a rule about hugging. He has way too many rules. Taking direction was in my wheelhouse, but the man needs to allow improv every once in a while.
On the other hand, the outer office, although dusty and run down, smelled like donuts. Nash Security Solutions is housed above Dixie Kreme Donuts in an old brick building on Black Pine's original main drag. Working for a private investigator housed in a donut shop was like an unrealized dream come true. Until my hips started to show the reality.
Nash strode back through the inner office door and stopped before the sagging couch where I sat. He's a pacer. Like a caged animal. But I'm not going there because it makes me want to pick up a stool and whip.
"Krystal Fowler doesn't want to be found," Nash continued. "At sixteen, she ran out on her no-account mother and has been running ever since. All I can ever tell her grandmother is Krystal's not reported dead or in prison. I can't do that again."
"Prison?" I gasped. "How can you be so cold-hearted?"
"Miss Albright, you need to toughen up if you want to be a private investigator. Krystal Fowler dropped out of school at sixteen. Her dad's been in prison most of her life. Meth addict mom. Krystal's been caught shoplifting numerous times and suspected of various other petty theft but was never charged. I talked to the local shop owners, and they said she was able to talk her way out of the arrests. Around here, she was considered something of a con artist. The most positive thing her neighbors and teachers had to say about Krystal Fowler is that they're surprised she's not in jail. Classic making of a felon. That's why I checked the prison records."
"But she's so young."
"It's tragic. But the bigger tragedy is what Krystal does to her grandmother. Poor Mrs. Fowler gets a call every year this time from Krystal with a sob story, asking for a handout. Mrs. Fowler wires her money and never hears from her until the next year. The girl is bleeding Mrs. Fowler dry, and I refuse to be a part of it any longer. I can not and will not take Mrs. Fowler's money. That girl is breaking her grandmother's heart."
I saw his logic. Mrs. Fowler was throwing away her money on finding Krystal.
Which is why I took on Mrs. Fowler’s case for free. On personal time. Without telling Nash.
And now I drove a borrowed car (Thanks, Tiffany!) one hundred fifty miles away from Black Pine to Halo, Georgia—somewhere between Atlanta and Alabama—instead of spending my holiday in a cozy (surprising for five thousand square feet) cabin with my adorable, six-year-old, half-sister, Remi.
I had a day to get to Halo and back before Christmas Eve. Remington Marie Spayberry would not forgive me for missing the wait for Santa. Remi didn't care that I had a hot lead on Mrs. Fowler's granddaughter. Evidently, all those Christmas cartoons she'd been watching did not instill in her the generosity of the season. But then this was the first Christmas I got to spend with my sister in, like, ever. Before this year, Christmases were spent in tropical locations with my manager and mother, Vicki Albright. She likes the twofer of a getaway with our "Celebrities Best Holiday Destinations" appearance in magazines like Hello!, InStyle, and People.
Vicki didn't have anyone but me. Daddy had Remi and his wife, Carol Lynn. And all the extended Spayberrys in Black Pine, Georgia.
Except for this year. This Christmas, Vicki Albright had Giulio Belloni. I thought. Not exactly sure what's going on there and didn't want to know. Giulio had been my on-screen boyfriend on our reality show, All is Albright. I'd thought off-screen, too, until I left the show. His role was rewritten, by my manager — I mean mother — as her new paramour. (I know, ew.) Ratings. Anyway, they're in Fiji and I got to stay in Black Pine for Christmas.
Except I wasn’t in Black Pine. I was in a whole other part of Georgia where Mrs. Fowler's sister lived. And unlike the dry and hazy gray North Georgia Mountains, west Georgia was windy, sleety, and freeze-y. I cranked the heater in Tiffany's Pontiac as high as it would go. I might have been born in Georgia, but I was raised in California. I was not cool with the cold. I mean, boots and sweaters were fun. But on my current salary (a pittance), I couldn't afford a last-minute, real winter coat. At least not one with natural fibers. Lucky for me, I already had boots and sweaters because we liked to pretend winter in Hollywood.
When I spoke with Mrs. Fowler at her home earlier that morning, she had said Krystal wanted money wired to Atlanta (natch) but had also asked her grandma about her great aunt's health. It'd made Mrs. Fowler hopeful that Krystal was interested in turning back to her roots.
I wasn’t as skeptical as Nash, but I was also not stupid (despite the way my body makes me look).
"Does she have a relationship with your sister?" I had asked Mrs. Fowler. I followed her home after witnessing Nash's gentle yet disappointing rejection. She lived in a small, run-down ranch in a mid-century subdivision in Black Pine.
"No." Mrs. Fowler played with the edge of her Christmas sweater. "I barely saw Krystal. My sister saw her once or twice, I guess. Maybe at a family reunion and when she was born?"
"Why would Krystal be interested in her aunt?"
"They're family? It's Christmas." Mrs. Fowler blinked at me through her glasses.
I didn’t think Christmas had anything to do with Krystal’s interest in her aunt. “Do you have a picture of Krystal? Something current?”
While Mrs. Fowler hurried into another room, I took a stroll around her living room. The room was crammed with stuff. Mainly boxes from QVC, Amazon, and eBay. Not many photographs. I happened upon a crystal sugar bowl full of gumdrops just before Mrs. Fowler returned. I crammed a wintergreen in my mouth and fast chewed.
"Here, Maizie." She handed me a photograph.
The picture showed a young girl. Dark-haired, oval faced, and pre-teen-ish. She wore cutoffs and a t-shirt, sitting cross-armed on the steps of a house. Looking aggrieved. I tried to imagine her older, less colt-ish, and less hostile. But then realized, after what Nash had told me, most likely, she was still antagonistic.
Or who knew. People changed. Maybe Nash couldn't find her because Krystal had become a nun. Like in Sister Act. My therapist Renata said to imagine the most positive outcome before focusing on the worst case scenario. Of course, almost-worst case scenario seems to happen to me a lot. But that's better than worst case, right?
"Do you have anything more recent?" I asked. “That’s what I meant by current.”
Mrs. Fowler shook her head. "I'm not good at remembering to take pictures. I was never sure when I'd see Krystal. Her mother wasn't reliable."
"Does Krystal know where your sister lived?"
"I think so. She's lived in the same house all her married life. Her husband's from Halo, Georgia."
"Did you tell your sister that Krystal might pay her a visit?"
Mrs. Fowler forehead crinkled. "No. Why would Krystal visit Martha Mae?"
Oh boy.
Mrs. Fowler paused. "You don't think Krystal intends to get money from my sister?"
I did think. But I patted Mrs. Fowler's hand and told her to call her sister. If Krystal hadn't already visited Martha Mae, Martha Mae might want to avoid her great-niece until we caught up with Krystal.
We meaning me since Nash had turned down the case.
I got the sister's address and phone number. "Tell Martha Mae I'm coming. If Krystal calls, have Martha Mae wait to invite her over until I get there. I'm going to talk to Krystal and see if I can get her to come back to Black Pine with me."
Mrs. Fowler threw her arms around me. She smelled like lavender and gumdrops. I hugged her back, pressing her bony body against my soft form. I probably smelled mostly of gumdrops.
"Maizie Albright," she whispered. "You're my Christmas angel. I know you'll get Krystal back."
Now, one hundred miles and several hours later, despite the icy rain descending on this part of Georgia, I
still felt the warmth of that message. I intended to do my best to get this wayward granddaughter back into the loving arms of her grandmother. I'd do the same for any grandmother. It might take a miracle, but after all, it was Christmas.
Two
Cherry Tucker
In my twenty-six years, I'd experienced broken ribs, a bullet's grazing, and a goat hit-and-run. Add to that plenty of hangovers, food poisoning, and a bout of the chicken pox at age seven. But I'd never experienced the gut-aching, head-throbbing, bone-chilling misery that I'd felt since early this morning. Feeling puny, I'd skipped the Christmas sing-a-long with Todd's band at Red's County Line Tap the night before. Worse than puny. Tired, achy, and with a gnawing in my belly that wasn't hunger.
A big surprise, because I was always hungry.
"Cherry Tucker," my BFF Leah had said to me. "I can understand not wanting to hear Shawna Branson karaoke the 'Twelve Days of Christmas.' But if you don't even want to eat Red's turkey dinner, you best get yourself to bed."