Building Harem Town 2

by Eric Vall

  “Are you okay, Nissa?” Nicola asked the gnome.

  “I’m just worried about the children, but I suppose if Balabar is coming back it can’t be that bad, right?” the blonde fretted.

  “We saw who it was,” Wilfrim yelled as soon as he was in range. “We told them to ride behind us so they didn’t scare you.”

  “It’s the goblins,” Balabar growled. “Of all the things I didn’t want to deal with tonight…”

  “Goblins?” I asked the priestesses. “What do you know about them?”

  “Not very much at all,” Penelope replied with wide eyes. “Elowise, Nissa, can you tell me more?”

  “Goblins are… not our friends,” Elowise sighed. “The bad blood between gnomes and goblins goes back a long way. Also, you do have to watch your valuables when they’re around. They like to steal, the nasty little things.”

  I could now see the shadows of three small horses approaching, but I still couldn’t see the riders.

  “Do we need to fight them?” Nicola asked as she looked fondly down at the sword in her hand. “Because I’ll fight them if you want. I’m ready.”

  “Easy, girl,” I chuckled.

  “I hope it won’t come to that,” Elowise said in a grim voice. “It’d be so much nicer just to have to scare them a little bit.”

  “I can do that, too!” Nicola quickly replied.

  “Ask the gnomes where the goblins come from,” I instructed Penelope. “I want to find out more about them.”

  “Where do they live?” the naiad asked. “Far away, I hope.”

  “They come from the mountains,” Nissa explained. “There’s a whole network of caves near where we used to live. That’s where they hide out and keep everything they steal.”

  “How far is that from here?” Aleia questioned the gnome woman.

  “Maybe half a day’s ride,” Elowise cut in. “Not distant enough.”

  “Heyyy,” I suddenly heard a voice call out. “What do we have here?”

  Three small brown-and-white ponies came into view, and creatures who couldn’t have been much bigger than the gnomes were riding them.

  The three goblins had reddish skin, bald heads, and long, pointed ears. When they smiled, I could see the glint of gold teeth between their thin lips, and their faces looked greasy. They had small swords on their belts, and they wore something I could best describe as a black tuxedo jacket with nothing underneath, and when they stopped their horses, they looked the priestesses up and down with undisguised longing.

  “Ew,” Aleia whispered.

  “They’re worse than Wilfrim,” Penelope giggled.

  “Heyyy, girls,” the smallest goblin said. “How are you doing this evening?”

  “Oh, we’re just fine,” Nicola murmured in a deadly tone, and she turned just enough so the smarmy creature could see the sword in her hand.

  “Ooh, you’re feisty, I like that in a woman,” the goblin laughed. “I’m Orm, and these are Varnick and Robert.”

  “Robert?” I snorted. “What kind of name is that for a goblin?”

  “I don’t know,” Penelope said with a shrug. “It might be the name of another old god, but I’m not really sure.”

  “Hey, blue girl, who are you talking to?” Robert asked, and Penelope visibly shuddered.

  “And a fairy…” Orm said as he practically started to drool. “You see that fairy, boys? I’d say we definitely came the right way tonight.”

  “Except they’re talking to themselves like loons,” Varnick snickered.

  “I do not talk to myself, I was addressing our lord,” the naiad huffed. “He is always with us, so if you think you’re going to cause us any trouble, I’ll have you know that Jack will surely stand in your way.”

  “Jack?” Orm’s eyes widened. “Th-That’s your god? The old god Jack? God of Ones and Zeroes?”

  Hearing I was recognized by these slimy little creatures threw me for a loop, but my faithful priestesses didn’t seem surprised in the slightest. They actually stood a little taller with pride, and Penelope pursed her lips condescendingly.

  “Yes, of course, he is… why?” the blue woman asked. “Is there a problem?”

  “No, I’ve just heard he can perform miracles,” the goblin explained as he scratched his wrinkly chin. “Turning ordinary rocks into gems, that sort of thing.”

  Well, that was interesting.

  “Yes, Jack is very powerful,” Penelope bragged. “Powerful enough to squash the likes of you under his boot.”

  The goblin sneered and lowered his hand as if he were reaching for his sword, and I was going to tell the women to strike until Elowise interrupted.

  “Hello, Orm,” Elowise sighed as she walked up next to Nicola with a glint in her eyes and her golden sword brandished.

  “Elowise… always a pleasure,” the greasy creature sneered. “No need to be so… hostile.”

  “You two know each other?” Nicola asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “Unfortunately,” the old gnome woman snarled.

  “And how did you meet?” Penelope asked.

  “Orm and his friend Robert over here have had an unhealthy… relationship with our belongings,” Elowise said with a smirk. “As in, they’ve tried to get them, and we’ve had to retrieve them. It’s such a fun game, isn’t it, Orm? Robert, what do you have to say for yourself?”

  The two goblins rolled their eyes with big, toothy grins.

  “We’ve had a lot of training since then,” Robert said as one of his gold fangs gleamed. “Do you want to try us?”

  “I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean,” Elowise said as she pulled herself up to her full height and bared her teeth, “but I wouldn’t try a damn thing if I were you.”

  “Are you bothering them?” Wilfrim huffed at the goblins as he jogged up to the group of women.

  “No, they’re not bothering us,” Nicola responded. “They clearly have no respect for women, but they can’t intimidate us.”

  “Stay alert,” I warned the priestesses. “You and the gnomes fought the trolls together, and they were way bigger than these bastards, but I don’t like the look of these guys.”

  “Get out of here, Orm and Robert, and whatever your friend’s name is!,” Elowise snapped. “I’m never letting you stay at my camp again, so push on.”

  “Is that what happened before?” Aleia asked.

  “Yes, we tried to put aside our differences for a night,” the old woman explained as she stared down the goblins. “This was when we lived in the mountains, before the trolls destroyed our camp and forced us to move out here. Robert and Orm took advantage of our kindness by robbing us as we slept. Getting our things back wasn’t a problem, and we even filled our pockets a little extra, but I don’t want these goblins in my space again. Ever.”

  “Why didn’t you kill them?” Nicola snorted. “Why would you put up with being robbed like that?”

  “Well, we got our things back, took their gold, and disarmed them,” Elowise laughed grimly. “We sent them on their way with nothing but their horses and the stupid little coats they wear. Gnomes are very strong in battle, as you’ve seen already, but we prefer not to kill if we don't have to. Then again, the goblins came back for more, so maybe it’s really time to teach you a lesson.”

  “So, you’re saying we’re lucky you didn’t kill us before,” Robert sneered as a golden incisor glimmered in the light from Wilfrim’s torch. “I’d say it’s also lucky we ran into you out here. Destiny, you could say.”

  “Robert, quit your yappin’.” Balabar rolled his eyes, but I saw his lust for goblin blood when he held up his gilded blade. “Just get on out of here.”

  Instead of riding away, Robert began to dismount his horse. Wilfrim brandished his sword, too, but the goblin put his hands up in a gesture of surrender.

  “Hey, we didn’t come to fight, I promise,” the pointy-eared creature said in what I suspected he thought was a smooth tone. “I swear, running into you was just a lucky coincid
ence. But since we’re here…”

  “I don’t think we’re going to make it to the city tonight, so…” Orm said as he leered at the gnomes. “Looks like there’s plenty of space here. We’ll just, uh…”

  “No, Robert, you aren’t coming into our camp,” Elowise growled. “You got cotton in those nasty ears of yours?”

  “Your food smells so good, though,” Varnick said as he slid off his animal and slowly slithered closer to the priestesses.“And the women aren’t bad, either. How about we sit around the fire? We have some bottles of ale we could pass around. Maybe the women could even sit in our laps.”

  “Ugh,” Aleia groaned. “As if I would ever come within a foot of that lap. You disgust me.”

  “You think that now, sweetheart, but there’s plenty of me to love,” Orm snickered. “If you know what I mean. And there’s plenty of me to go around, too.”

  The priestesses were holding their own, but I was getting really fucking irritated with the way these ugly bastards were treating my women. I wished more than anything I could come down there and punch them each in their slimy little faces, but I didn’t even have fists to clench at the moment.

  Then Orm puckered his slimy lips in Aleia’s direction, and I decided I’d had enough from these creeps.

  “We’re done here,” I informed the women. “Show these guys you mean business. You have the weapons for it.”

  “Jack, they’re four feet tall,” the naiad whispered. “Should we really?”

  “Yes, we should,” Nicola answered for me. “Do you think Jack would let these men speak like this if he were down here?”

  “Certainly not,” Aleia huffed.

  Then the little fairy strung an arrow while Penelope raised her spear, and as a determined grin sprang to Nicola’s flawless face, I realized how fucking intimidating my devout priestesses could look when they wanted to.

  “Woooah, now! Alright, alright!” Varnick yelped as he raised his hands up high in the air. “I can see we’re not wanted here. It’s too bad, because we could have had a fun party. Suppose you girls just aren’t interested in parties, are you? Though your clothing could have fooled me.”

  Penelope huffed as all the goblins leered at the priestesses’ sheer dresses, and Nicola’s eyes narrowed into dangerous dark slits.

  “You have three seconds to get the fuck out of here before my little fairy friend here looses that arrow,” Nicola snarled.

  “Three,” Aleia abruptly announced, and she released her arrow and sent it straight into the dirt at Orm’s feet.

  I burst out laughing at the smug little grin on her face, and the goblins leapt back and stumbled to their horses with their mouths slack.

  “We really don’t want any trouble!” Orm insisted while he struggled to mount his horse fast enough. “We can leave. We were leaving!”

  “We are leaving!” Robert decided.

  Nicola bared her teeth at them, and the three creatures both quickly mounted their horses. Watching them slip and struggle to get going made my priestesses chuckle a bit, but no one was as pleased as the gnomes once the goblins finally rode away.

  “Wonderful job, girls,” Elowise said as she put her hand to her heart. “I didn’t want to show it, but the goblins were doing a good job of worrying me. I needed to keep them out of my camp, and I don’t know if we could have done it if it weren’t for you. You sure made quick work of all this.”

  “You were fantastic, too, Elowise,” Wilfrim said as he came up behind his wife and kissed her on the cheek.

  “I hate those bastards,” Balabar growled. “We really told them off, didn’t we?”

  “We?” Nicola and I said at the same time, and the gruff gnome looked away.

  “I’m just glad they’re gone,” Nissa sighed. “I don’t like to fight. I got hurt during the battle with the trolls, and I wouldn’t want it to happen again.”

  “Nissa, the goblins aren’t much bigger than us,” Balabar said with a withering look on his face. “I sincerely doubt you would have gotten hurt again. Now, get yourself together, because the children must be ready for bed by now.”

  Damn, this gnome really was a hardass.

  “Why don’t you do something for once?” the blonde gnome huffed as she glared at her husband, but she stomped off in the direction of the camp.

  “Okay, so…” Nicola trailed off as she stared at Balabar. “I think we’ll head back home now.”

  “Yes, that would be best,” Penelope agreed.

  “Don’t forget to grab your packs,” Elowise reminded the women. “Everything we gave you is sitting by the fire, and I need to give you that covered pot for your meat.”

  “Of course, that’s right,” the naiad sighed with a sleepy nod. “I apologize, I got distracted when the goblins got here. What nasty little creatures they are.”

  “Yes, they’re terrible,” Wilfrim agreed as he led the women back to the gnome camp. “Do you have to leave so soon? There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

  I thought it had to be close to midnight, and Penelope had definitely started to droop. The naiad’s shoulders were sagging, and she kept leaning against Nicola, who put her arm around the tired blue woman.

  “I’m not sure--” the brunette hedged.

  “No, please stay,” the old man urged the priestesses. “Just for a couple minutes, and Elowise can brew more tea. Come on, please?”

  “It sounds like you have something important to discuss,” Aleia replied with a glance at Penelope. “Maybe we could stay for just a moment?”

  “Thank you, thank you,” Wilfrim said as he steepled his hands together and bowed his head. “Come sit with me by the fire.”

  Elowise poured tea into mugs and handed them out to the women. I noticed Penelope was just pretending to sip hers, and I thought that was smart, but the other priestesses began to take small sips of the hot, amber-colored liquid. Aleia sipped a little faster than the others, though, and I could tell she was trying to make their conversation go as quick as possible.

  “What did you need, Wilfrim?” Aleia asked in a nice but pointed voice.

  “Well, girls, we’ve already been down a long path together,” the old man began, and Nicola briefly flicked her eyes skyward.

  “Yes…” Aleia said while she smacked her lips, and a smile slowly started to spread across her face. “It hasss been a long journey, hasn’t it?”

  What was in this gnomish tea?

  Then I looked in the fairy’s cup, and it was already half gone.

  “Slow down, Aleia,” I warned the fairy. “You don’t know what’s in that beverage.”

  “Yes, but it’s veryyy nice,” the strawberry-blonde giggled. “But shh, Jack! I can’t talk to you because no one else can hear you.”

  “Aleia, control yourself,” Nicola laughed as she put her arm around Penelope, who was starting to drift off. “I’m beginning to feel like the only one with her head together around here.”

  “Is Penelope alright?” Elowise looked in dismay at the naiad. “The tea can be strong, but we’re used to it…”

  “Yes, Penelope is fine,” the brunette sighed as she looked at the blue woman leaning up against her side. “I think my sisters may be a little drunk, that’s all.”

  “I ammm not,” Aleia protested.

  “Wilfrim, we really need to go,” Nicola insisted.

  “That’s fine,” the old man drawled. He’d finished his tea, and his eyes were half-closed. “Now, what were we talking about?”

  “You mentioned our fight,” the dark-haired woman reminded him with a clipped sigh. “How we’ve battled together.”

  “Nicolaaa…” Wilfrim slurred, but then he collapsed over onto his side on the log

  Oh, boy. This old gnome really needed to go to bed.

  “Wilfrim, are you alright?” Elowise laughed from across the fire. “I think you need to head to your tent, dear.”

  “You’re soooo beautiful, Elowise,” the old man complimented his wife with his little
black eyes half-shut. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t want to--”

  “Wilfrim!” the old gnomish woman gasped as her round cheeks grew even redder. “I’m never letting you have tea again.”

  “Okay,” Nicola said with a smirk on her face, and she started to get up from the log. “Elowise, it’s been lovely to see you, but I think we’ll be on our way now. Maybe we can get together again tomorrow.”

  “Nooo,” Wilfrim cried out, and he reached out to grab the brunette’s hand. “Nicola, don’t go. I’ll behave myself, I promise. I really did have a serious topic to discuss with you.”

  “Fine,” the dark-haired woman laughed. “But I’d advise you to get to the point, Wilfrim.”

  “It’s sooo late,” Penelope moaned as she rubbed her eyes. “Can we please go to bed soon?”

  “Are you sure she’s okay?” Nissa returned from putting the children to bed, and she looked at the naiad with concern from across the fire. “She’s usually so… energetic.”

  “Yes, she’s fine,” Nicola replied. “Penelope, you’re actually not helping us get out of here any faster.”

  “Anyway, ahem,” Wilfrim cleared his throat and attempted to right himself on his log. “We have fought together, like I already said. But the fact remains that you are big, and we are small. We managed to get Orm and Robert out of our hair once before when we lived in the mountains, but tonight’s visit made me a little more concerned. I don’t like those creatures knowing where I live.”

  “They were soooo weird,” Aleia giggled, and Nicola raised her finger to her lips to shush the fairy.

  “Yes, I understand, Wilfrim,” Nicola responded. “I didn’t like them, either, and I’m glad our convent is set a little further back off the road. I really hope they didn’t see it.”

  I zoomed all the way out on my God Vision again, but I didn’t see any sign of the goblins, and I hoped they hadn’t been lying when they’d said they wanted to travel all the way to the city. I had no idea how far away the city was, though.

  “I don’t think they’re still nearby,” I told Nicola, who nodded.

  “Jack thinks they’re gone,” the dark-haired woman told Wilfrim.