Cold Comfort (A New Adventure Begins - Star Elite Book 5)
Page 13
“I did it,” she grinned.
“Yes, that’s enough, though,” Oliver winced. “I need to be able to walk tomorrow.”
Emmeline was too excited to notice. “I did it. I stomped on you without losing my balance or falling over.”
Oliver smiled. “Now, let’s go back to the hand hold again. If I grabbed you around the wrist, you would find it impossible to prise all my fingers off. As an attacker, I can hold you with four fingers as easily as I can five. If you pull my thumb off and twist it around at an angle that you know isn’t natural, the fingers will automatically loosen. The pain in the bent thumb will be enough to force the attacker to loosen his hold and you can break free. Moreover, you don’t have to release the thumb and can continue to twist it until you twist the arm back.”
In one deft move, Oliver showed her how to force her attacker to release her. He showed her how to do it with other fingers, but while it did cause pain it didn’t do anything to get the attacker, in this case Oliver, to loosen his hold. However, the thumb was another matter entirely because it risked being dislocated if the attacker didn’t release her.
“That is very, very clever,” Emmeline murmured.
“All you have to do is try to remember not to allow yourself to become too panicked if a surprise attack happens. It is easier said than done, but if you think logically and don’t allow your emotions to get the better of you, and you can mentally distance yourself from what is happening, nothing can truly hurt you. Part of an attacker’s advantage is surprise. If he can surprise you then he will take advantage of the shock that makes you hesitate or worry. If you use the element of surprise to catch your attacker off guard, they will be the ones who are left gaping at you and struggling to escape.”
Emmeline turned to grin at him. “What else?”
Oliver sighed and rolled his eyes. “I don’t know if I can stand much more. My feet hurt and you have nearly dislocated my thumb twice. I still have to work, you know.”
“Oh, tosh. You are fine,” she protested, her eyes alight with eager anticipation. “What else?”
Oliver shook his head but was so enchanted by the way her eyes twinkled with proud mischief that he couldn’t deny her. Even while he tried to think of something else that he could show her, Oliver asked himself where his backbone was, and why it was so impossible to deny her anything she asked of him. When he contemplated the reasons why she was impossible to ignore, though, he mentally shied away from even attempting to put a name to how he felt. He couldn’t, not least because he wasn’t at all sure he was going to like the answer and had no idea what it meant for their future or his part in the Star Elite’s latest investigation.
“All right, so this is a little more physical, and is only to be used if you are lifted off your feet. Say, if the attacker tried to lift you up to drag you into the barn like I did just now,” Oliver began.
Emmeline squinted at him but braced herself, not least because she knew this time what he was about to do. When Oliver slid his arms around her, however, he grinned and looked at her only for something to shift between them. They both paused. Their eyes locked. Neither of them spoke. Words weren’t necessary. All morning, they had both been aware of the undercurrent of sensual tension that had hovered over them. While it hadn’t been threatening or had stopped either of them concentrating on their lesson, it refused to be ignored any longer. It had found daylight, and once acknowledged had flourished to life like a rose in summertime. Its silken petals began to unfurl beneath the warmth of emotion that hovered between Oliver and Emmeline until it became a tangible essence between them.
“What are we doing here?” he whispered.
“I don’t know,” Emmeline replied honestly.
She wished could tell him something, anything, or try to laugh off the strengthening awareness that shimmered between them, but everything that flew into her head immediately flew back out again. No action felt right. No words seemed appropriate. In the end, nothing was necessary because she was rendered mute by Oliver’s lips, which settled over hers with a gentleness that stole her breath as effectively as they stole her thoughts.
Oliver slid his arms around her, drawing her closer against the muscular width of his chest. His lips pressed against hers with passionate fervour until Emmeline followed his persuasive coaxing and opened her mouth to his. He instinctively deepened the kiss even though every instinct he had ever possessed warned him to back away; to make his apologies and leave. Oliver knew he should; he ought to because this was the most unprofessional thing he had ever done in his life. What he didn’t know was why he should feel such desire for Emmeline, and why now of all times and places. The Star Elite were facing possibly the most difficult investigation they could ever have to take on, not least because there was a very direct threat coming from within their organisation. It wasn’t the time to indulge in a romance that could alter the course of his life forever. With that thought in mind, Oliver tried to lift his head to apologise for his waywardness, but when he did, Emmeline clung to him tighter and he couldn’t release her.
Emmeline slid her hands up the soft material of his waistcoat until they rested against the open neck of his shirt. At some point during their tussling the material had worked free of his breeches, and now billowed loosely around his lean hips. Every now and then, as a gentle breeze teased the flowing material, Emmeline caught a faint scent of lemons and something that was quintessentially Oliver. It was so faint, so teasing, that she clung to him tighter to savour more of it; more of him. She wanted him with a need that appeared out of nowhere and was so elementally a part of her that all she could do was consider it while she tried to understand what she should do about it. All the while she was contemplating the strange emotions that coursed through her; the rawness of the need for him, the hidden yearning deep within the pit of her stomach, the more she needed to experience, just so she could understand it. She needed him; of that she knew for certain. She wanted him, but for what purpose she didn’t know yet. She wasn’t at all sure she wanted any deeper connection with anybody. After all, everyone she had ever loved had died on her. She didn’t want to open her heart up to anybody else and have them leave as well, and with Oliver’s dangerous job that was more likely to happen to him than anyone else. He was, after all, the kind of person who put his life in danger to protect others.
Dare she take the risk of being hurt by allowing herself to care about him? Could she be strong enough to allow a relationship to develop knowing that one day, someone might stop him from ever coming back? Even while Emmeline knew the answer to both of those questions was a resounding ‘no’, she couldn’t find the will to break free of him and walk away. It was impossible, especially when he had opened a hidden need within her she hadn’t realised she was capable of feeling. She wanted him. Was it so wrong to enjoy this moment while it lasted? Was it so wrong to savour the feel of being in his arms; being the sole focus of a man’s desire? Was it so wrong to live a little and shake off the restraints of modern society and simply be a woman for a while rather than a helpless female? Was it wrong to be a woman who lived her own life, in her own home, in her own way?
What Emmeline did know for definite was that she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she rejected him and spent her life regretting it. She had very little in her life as it was. Would it matter if her romance with Oliver was fleeting? Would it matter if he left her when his investigation was over, but didn’t return because his work and life persuaded him to stay away? She could get on with her own life. She knew that because she already had.
He is a luxury I didn’t think I would ever be able to afford, she mused.
Because he had appeared in her life so unexpectedly, it would be churlish to refuse to enjoy the delight of being in his arms like this, wouldn’t it? That was all the persuasion Emmeline needed. It was enough to make her tighten her arms where they lay across his shoulders, drawing him deeper into their embrace and their kiss.
There was little
Oliver could do to resist her. With a groan, he slid his hands down to her bottom and lifted her onto her tiptoes, pressing her intimately against him to remind her that theirs was a relationship that would progress if they didn’t exert a little caution; if she didn’t tell him stop. Contrarily, Emmeline revelled in her new found feminine power created by their romantic tryst. She had never felt so alive before, and it gave her the strength she needed to shake off her doubts and forge ahead, wherever that would take her.
Passion flared to life between them and encased them both in the roaring flames of desire. Swept away on a sensual train of delight, they were both propelled into a new connection and deeper intimacy. The more the flames flickered at their feet, the more they stood as one, merged together forever.
“Ahem.”
At first, Oliver didn’t hear him.
“Ahem.”
Somewhere in the back of his mind, that soft word echoed and nudged his consciousness back into the present.
“Ahem.”
This time, the word was considerably more forced, and strong enough to make Oliver ease back on the kiss. Rather than lift his head, he slowly retreated, reducing the long and seductive persuasion into more supping kisses which teased and reassured Emmeline that they hadn’t finished completely but were suspended. Eventually, Oliver lifted his head, but only so he could stare down at the woman who practically lay in his arms. At some point during their passionate embrace, Emmeline had been gently eased backward until she lay over his arm. He hovered over her for several moments more before he slowly stood up whereupon he kept her against him until he was sure she had her balance.
Emmeline clung to him, her cheeks fiery with a mixture of pleasure and embarrassment when she realised that they were no longer alone. While they had been savouring each other’s desire, Harry and Rhys had not only ridden into the yard but had dismounted and tethered their horses.
“God, what in the Hell are we doing?” Oliver whispered, more to himself than to Emmeline, who looked just as stunned as he felt. He couldn’t be annoyed with her because what they had shared had been a mutual affair. They had both engaged in the embrace willingly and savoured the delights on offer with an eagerness neither had been able to hide.
I am as much at fault over it as she is.
“Ahem.”
“Yes, God damn it, I know you are there,” Oliver growled.
Without releasing her, Oliver looked over his shoulder at his colleagues who still stood beside their horses and were doing their level best to pretend they were somewhere else. Every now and then, Rhys snuck a look at them over his shoulder while Harry coughed discretely.
Emmeline’s cheeks turned even pinker. She slid a look at Oliver only to find him already looking at her ruefully.
“I am sorry about them. If they had any sense they would have gone inside and pretended they hadn’t seen us. However, now that they have watched everything, there is no use hiding what we have done. They will not tease you over it. It just changes things a little, that’s all,” he explained.
“How?”
“It makes things personal, Emmeline,” Oliver sighed.
Far more personal than I would have liked, but there you go.
Emmeline studied him and felt something in her chest squeeze painfully. The reluctance in his voice hurt. It smarted because she didn’t want to feel anything for this man who was going to ride out of her life, and who quite clearly bitterly regretting having kissed her so passionately. Pride refused to allow her to let him see just how much his regret hurt, though. It made her square her shoulders and tip her chin up defiantly at him. Unbeknown to her, there was little she could do about the clouds that gathered in her eyes, or the wounded, slightly worried look she gave him before she turned around and marched straight into the safe house without a backward look.
“Damn.” Oliver knew he had just hurt her but had no idea why considering the situation between them was now personal should upset her so. Determined to get it out into the open, Oliver threw a disgusted look at Rhys and Harry, who were now actively unsaddling their horses, before he followed Emmeline into the house.
The door slammed loudly behind him, not least to warn his colleagues that the situation between him and Emmeline was not good. Oliver hoped the men would have the good grace to give him a little time alone with her and would stay outside, however they couldn’t stay in the yard forever. Because he knew time was short, Oliver didn’t waste a moment to follow Emmeline through the house to her bed chamber, which was located at the top of the second flight of stairs. There, he caught her standing before the window, staring blankly out of a side window which overlooked the lower end of the house’s rather unkempt garden.
“Emmeline, we have to talk about this,” he began as he stalked into the room without bothering to knock.
“Everything is fine. There is nothing to talk about.” Her voice, while perfectly normal, contrasted with the stiff set of her shoulders, underwritten by the fact that she didn’t turn around to talk to him as he suspected she would usually have done had she not been upset.
He edged closer. When she still refused to look at him, he turned her to face him. At first, she refused. But his gentle persistence forced her to give in and she reluctantly turned around.
“God, don’t cry,” he whispered.
“It is nothing.” She offered him a brave smile. “I just cannot do this right now.”
“What?”
“This.” She waved a hand between them. “Us.”
“You regret it.”
“It shouldn’t have happened,” she hissed, more annoyed with herself than with him.
“What do you want me to do, offer for you?” He asked quietly, well aware that she might consider he had ruined her reputation by being so forward with her.
And on such a short acquaintance as well.
“No.” She huffed a laugh. “God, no. You have your investigation to get on with, and I, well, have my life here. Well, my own home. You are going to ride out of my life when this is all over.”
She didn’t ask, but the question was there.
“I have to continue working with the Star Elite, Emmeline. It is not just my job it is who I am now. I cannot conceive of doing anything else with my time,” Oliver reasoned. “I won’t give up the Star Elite for anybody.”
“I don’t believe that anybody should ever ask you to,” she replied crisply.
“That’s good then.”
“Yes. But it means that you are going to leave and continue with your investigation, or start a new one somewhere else, and I am going to stay here. Our lives will always be separate,” she said quietly with an air of sadness that made tears spring back into her eyes. “The last thing I need are any romantic entanglements.”
“Do you plan on any others?” The idea of Emmeline sharing with someone else what he had just shared with her was enough to make him positively shiver with jealousy. His scowl of objection was instinctive, his annoyance strong as he glared challengingly at her, almost daring her to admit to having a secret lover somewhere she had yet to tell him about.
“No.” Emmeline sucked in a breath. She had no idea why she was reluctant to admit to him that she couldn’t conceive of ever feeling with another man the way Oliver had made her feel. “But that isn’t to say that I won’t have a romantic entanglement in the future. It is just that I have spent the last several weeks of my life worrying over my sister. While her demise really comes at no surprise, it is still unexpected. I still have her funeral to arrange and now, my life is in complete disarray through no fault of my own. You know that. I am not even living in my own home. I have been swept out of it and thrown into your world without having ever done anything wrong. I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask for you to come into my life and make me think things, feel things, a young woman like me shouldn’t think or feel. It isn’t right, but I don’t know what it is that makes me incapable of defeating it. It’s annoying.”
Oliver grinned at
her frown of confusion. When Emmeline saw it, she glared at him.
“Do not mock me,” she glared.
“I am not,” he replied honestly. His smile didn’t diminish. “I just didn’t think you would know how I feel. I don’t want any romantic entanglements right now either but was unable to defeat whatever it was that overtook us back there. There was absolutely nothing I can do to ignore this attraction that overcomes me whenever we are together. What we share has the capacity to throw both of our lives into chaos. My life is in about as much disarray as I can handle, not least because if we don’t succeed in this mission the Star Elite could be forced to disband. I don’t know what I would do then. It has been such a large part of my life for so long now that I don’t know what would be left if it wasn’t a part of my life.”
Emmeline sighed and looked ruefully at him. “Now what?”
“I wish I knew,” Oliver growled. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “I wish I knew.”
In that moment, several more men rode into the stable yard.
“You have company you need to go and talk to. Go. I will be all right but shall stay up here, if that is all right with you. I will be down in a while,” she assured him.
“Sure?”
Emmeline nodded and offered him a brave smile that wasn’t at all convincing seeing as it didn’t enter her eyes. She watched him almost sadly as he made his way out of the room and closed the door behind him.
Once out in the hallway, Oliver didn’t immediately go downstairs to find out what the local Star Elite wanted. Instead, he rested his shoulders against the wall beside her door and allowed himself a blessed moment of silence to contemplate what he was going to do about the major shock his morning had just brought him. He almost succeeded in convincing himself that he could walk away from her, until he heard her crying. He closed his eyes and tried to block that very faint plaintive weeping. It made him protective yet at the same time want to punch something because he knew he was the cause of it. He felt an eel for having indulged in a few moments of passionate pleasure with an innocent young woman who was already struggling to adapt to the world she had been forced into. Emmeline wasn’t a wayward young miss like her sister had been. She wasn’t loose in morals, or poor in judgement, or even wearing rose-tinted glasses that made her see him, quite wrongly, as some sort of romantic hero. She was just Emmeline, an individual young woman who had been buffeted about by life’s catastrophes and the plight of other people, and who battled through the world around her with a resilience that was far stronger than most people Oliver knew.