Designing Emma (Volume 6)

by Clarissa Carlyle

  “You don’t take much joy in your success, do you?” Damion noted.

  “I suppose I don’t,” Emma agreed. “I just focus on our next goal rather than looking back on past triumphs.”

  “You should take the time to pat yourself on the back once in a while,” Damion advised.

  “I know.”

  “Seriously, though, Ems. You should be on cloud nine. You’ve got your ex falling all over himself to win you back and a multimillion dollar design company that you created. Most women would kill for your life.”

  Emma thought over what he was saying and nodded, but as she dwelled on his words, sadness crept up on her, which she’d been doing her best to ignore. But it was always there, just waiting for an opportunity to pounce and cast a permanent shadow over proceedings.

  “All the success in the world won’t change things, though,” she said. “It won’t bring her back.”

  Damion placed an arm around Emma and drew her into him. She nestled against his shoulder and didn’t cry; she was just silent.

  “I know it must be hard, Ems. You wish your mom was here to see how successful you’ve become, to share in it all.”

  “Some days I find myself forgetting what she looked like or how she smelled,” Emma admitted, her voice small and pained. “It’s like she’s slipping away, and there’s nothing I can do about it. There’s no way I can further preserve what we had.”

  Damion held her tightly, and together they sat in silence for a while. He knew no words that could comfort her for a loss as profound and deep as losing her mother.

  “I should call my dad.” Emma straightened and sat back up. “I haven’t seen him in ages.”

  “Doesn’t he have a new apartment now?”

  “Yeah, uptown. I think he has a new girlfriend too.”

  “Is that why you haven’t seen him?”

  “I guess.” Emma shrugged. “It’s just... weird. I want him to be happy, I know he deserves to find someone, but I still feel like he belongs to my mom.”

  “You should talk to him about it,” Damion suggested.

  “I know.”

  “You could always take one of Daniel’s forgiveness gifts ’round for his new girlfriend.”

  “I could.” Emma nodded. “I’ve got more than enough to spare.”

  “You should think about forgiving him, though,” Daniel said, nudging her. “I’m not saying get back together with him, I’m saying just forgive him. The three of us used to be the best of friends. I keep hoping that one day we’ll get back to that.”

  “Some things are better left in the past,” Emma stated as she stood up and found her phone with the intention of calling her father.

  “EMMA.” SEBASTIAN DELACOURT embraced his daughter as he greeted her at the door to his apartment. “Come in, come in.”

  Emma stepped into her father’s new apartment and looked around. A modern yet homey space where he’d carefully placed features like a vase full of flowers and some scented candles to make the place more welcoming. His home had definitely experienced a woman’s touch. As Emma looked closer, she realized that the candles were Delacourt Décor’s brand, which made her smile.

  “The place looks great, Dad,” she complimented Sebastian as he hurried over to the kitchen area and began making them both a fresh cup of coffee.

  “I’m glad you like it,” Sebastian replied.

  “It’s lovely.” Emma ventured further in and dropped down onto the sofa, which was scattered with Delacourt Décor cushions.

  “You certainly like my interior line,” she commented when her father came over with a cup of coffee in each hand, one of which he passed to Emma.

  “Well, it’s exquisite.” He beamed. “Designed by my little girl. And Vivian is a huge fan of yours.”

  Emma’s jaw clenched when her father mentioned his girlfriend.

  “She’s staying with a friend for a few days, but I’d love you to meet her when she’s back,” Sebastian continued.

  Emma gazed into her cup of fresh coffee, letting the aroma drift up and overwhelm her senses. It was a comforting aroma. She didn’t want to discuss her father’s new girlfriend. She wanted to pretend that she didn’t even exist, that he was carrying on pining for her mother. That was what he was supposed to do. He wasn’t supposed to replace her place in the bed with another woman.

  “I know you don’t want me talking about her,” Sebastian noted. “But we really should. I know that if you met her, you’d love her.”

  “I’d love her?” Emma raised an incredulous eyebrow at her father.

  “Maybe not love her.” Sebastian faltered on his choice of words. “But you’d definitely like her, a lot. She’s really rather lovely.”

  Emma was silent.

  “We met online on this site for divorced people. She lost her husband to cancer several years ago.”

  “How lovely that you could share cancer war stories during your first date.” Emma rolled her eyes.

  “Emma Delacourt.” Sebastian’s tone was suddenly sharp. “I don’t recognize you these days. Usually you’d be delighted that I’d got my life together, that I was happy. Where has my sweet, loving daughter gone?”

  Emma reddened in shame, knowing in her heart that he was right. The truth was that she’d been feeling the loss of her mother more acutely than normal the past few weeks. She hadn’t been sure why, but sitting there with her coffee, hearing her father gush about Vivian, she realized that it was because she was lonely and still nursing the broken heart which Daniel had given her. Her loneliness was polluting her, causing her to become bitter. She was struggling to find happiness anywhere, be it the success of her design company or her father finally finding someone to love after all his years of being alone.

  “I’m sorry, Dad.” Emma looked across at her father and smiled apologetically. “You’re right. I’m not myself lately, but that’s not your fault. I’m so happy you’ve met Vivian, and of course I’d love to meet her.”

  “Really?” Sebastian beamed. “Oh, Emma, that’s lovely.” But after a moment, his smile fell. “But... why are you so unhappy, sweetheart? I thought you’d be floating on air. Delacourt Designs has been a phenomenal success.”

  “Yes,” Emma agreed. “It has, and I’m so proud of it.”

  “Then what’s the problem?” Sebastian enquired.

  Emma didn’t know where to begin. How could she tell her father that Daniel had broken her heart? That even now, when he was trying so desperately to get her forgiveness, she felt like she couldn’t trust him and that any moment she’d get a call from Damion saying how he’d fled the country and they might never see him again.

  “I think I’m just burned out,” Emma lied. “I’ve been nonstop with the company since its conception. I need a vacation or something.”

  “A vacation would definitely do you good. You’ve more than earned one!”

  “And...” Emma dropped her gaze and lowered her voice slightly. “I’ve been missing her more than usual lately. I know you’re happy with Vivian, and I’m not trying to ruin that, truly I’m not. I just... I miss her. Just when I thought I was moving on with my life and learning to live with the loss, it creeps up on me and burns me anew.”

  Sebastian reached out and held his daughter’s free hand in his own. “I still think about her every day,” he told her as his eyes misted over. “I think about her smile, about how she smelled, about how she loved you and I so very dearly.”

  Emma’s shoulders began to shake as tears dropped onto her cheeks.

  “But your mother’s love for us means that she would want us to find happiness,” Sebastian continued. “She wouldn’t want you sitting around crying, not enjoying this momentous time in your life. She’d want you to enjoy every single minute of every single day. You know she would.”

  “I know,” Emma said tearfully, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve.

  “I will never, ever stop loving your mother,” Sebastian promised her. “But I still need to live my life. Y
ou showed me that. I spent years in darkness, wishing I could alter the past, but I can’t. I can only affect the present and make plans for the future.”

  Emma nodded, absorbing his words. She found it strangely wonderful that rather than her trying to draw her father out of his despair, the tables had finally turned, and now he was being the parent, trying to guide his daughter. It was how it always should have been.

  “Thanks, Dad.” Emma smiled at him as her tears stopped falling.

  “Just be happy, sweetheart,” Sebastian urged her.

  “I will be.” Emma nodded. “I will be.”

  “ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE okay?” Nick asked, tilting his head with concern as he sat across from Emma in the bar. She glanced absently at him, her fingertips resting gently on the base of her untouched wineglass.

  “Emma?”

  “I’m fine.” Emma snapped back in to the moment and waved her hand. “I’m just tired; everything with the launch of Delacourt Décor has been exhausting.”

  “It’s all going amazingly well, though.” Nick raised his own glass in a celebratory gesture. “Damion called to tell me that opening sales figures have exceeded expectations.”

  “I don’t really want to talk business,” Emma said gently. “I was hoping we could just be... you know, us tonight.”

  Nick tensed.

  “I don’t mean like that,” Emma reassured him. “I mean as friends. I miss just hanging out together.”

  “You sure you’re not secretly pining for me?” Nick teased. “Because if you are, just say the word, and we can get out of here.”

  “Don’t flatter yourself!”

  Nick laughed and smiled at her. “Seriously, though, Ems. What’s wrong? You’ve been pretty down lately.”

  “Daniel came to see me,” she shared, noticing how Nick’s eyes widened in surprise.

  “He did?”

  “Yeah.” Emma nodded. “Just after things almost happened with us.”

  “I see. What did he say?”

  “He apologized. As crazy and as unexpected as it was, he apologized. He brought me flowers and chocolates and told me how sorry he was for everything.”

  “But you weren’t ready to hear that?” Nick deduced.

  “Exactly.” Emma sighed. “He totally blindsided me. I was angrier at him than anything else. Angry that he left it so long to say sorry, angry that he left me in the first place. I was so full of rage that I couldn’t even bear to be around him.”

  “So what happened?” Nick leaned forward with interest.

  “I told him to leave,” Emma explained. “Demanded would more accurately describe how I spoke to him. I just, I couldn’t deal with him then. There was so much going on, and it all felt a little too late.”

  “Do you regret sending him away? I mean, wasn’t Daniel the guy you really wanted all along?”

  “No.” Emma lifted her glass to her lips and took a sip of her wine. “And yes. I don’t regret sending him away, but you’re right, he was the guy I wanted all along.”

  “So what’s changed?”

  “I don’t know,” Emma admitted. “I guess perhaps he left it too late.”

  “Have you heard from him since?”

  “Sort of.” Emma placed her glass down and eyed the Tiffany bracelet she was currently wearing. One of many apology gifts that he’d had delivered to her apartment over the past few weeks.

  “He keeps sending me gifts.” She twirled the bracelet as a demonstration.

  “Nice.” Nick nodded at the silver piece of jewelry. “Expensive.”

  “Daniel has always been one to splash the cash.”

  “A man after my own heart,” Nick quipped.

  “Mmm.” Emma continued to absently twirl the bracelet, watching it as it swung precariously around her slender wrist.

  “So have you spoken to him since he came round?”

  Emma shook her head.

  “Are you going to speak to him?”

  She sighed and then looked up at Nick. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m not sure what I’d even say.”

  “Do you want him back?” Nick asked directly.

  Emma bit her lip as she pondered the question. “I don’t know.”

  “Do you think you owe it to yourself to find out?”

  “I guess...”

  “Emma, you’ve been in love with this guy since I first met you. Maybe he is a little late in apologizing for everything that went down between you two, but I reckon you should at least hear him out. If you don’t, you risk spending the rest of your life wondering what if?”

  “You’re right, I know you’re right.” Emma drank down more of her wine as Nick casually ordered a new round for them both with a flick of his wrist.

  “But?”

  “But I’m not prepared to be hurt again.”

  “That’s fair.” Nick winked at the waitress as she brought them their new drinks. She giggled coyly and walked away as Nick leaned back and admired her shape in her skinny jeans and shirt.

  “You’re terrible, you know that?” Emma raised an eyebrow at him.

  “I’m back in the friend zone,” he told her. “I’m allowed to go fishing when we’re out together.”

  Emma frowned and picked up her new glass of wine.

  “You think I’m a lot like him, don’t you?” Nick tore his gaze away from the pretty waitress and looked intently at Emma.

  “In some ways.”

  “In many ways,” Nick corrected her. “We’re both from money; we both live the clichéd playboy lifestyle. We are bad boys with heart. At least that’s how I like to see myself.” He smirked.

  “What’s your point?”

  “Daniel and I are the same. That’s why we don’t get along, and we clash with one another. But I’m just pretending to be this cavalier guy, as is he. If the girl who broke my heart walked back into my life, I’d give up my lifestyle in a heartbeat to be with her again. I’d do anything for her.”

  “Then why don’t you?” Emma urged.

  “It’s not that simple.” Nick’s expression darkened, and he downed his scotch in one.

  “How isn’t it?”

  “Let’s keep the focus of the conversation on you,” he said.

  “Okay.” Emma backed down. Nick was rarely ever agitated with her, and she had struck a nerve.

  “So, Daniel Richmond. Are you going to give the guy a second chance or not?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Want my advice?”

  “I imagine you’ll give it either way.” Emma smiled.

  “You know me well.” Nick grinned back at her, his previous unease now completely gone. “I would tell you some bullshit about searching your heart. If you still love Daniel, even a little bit, it’s worth hearing him out at the very least.”

  “I didn’t know you were such an expert on love.”

  “I’m no expert,” Nick corrected. “I’m a cautionary tale.”

  “Will you ever tell me about her?” Emma asked gently.

  Nick’s mouth straightened into a thin line, and he shook his head.

  “I pour my heart out to you, and you won’t even give me a name,” Emma objected.

  “A man like me relies on his mystique.” Nick winked at her before lifting his arm to order another round. As the waitress sauntered over, he locked eyes with her flirtatiously.

  “You’re planning on going home with her, aren’t you?” Emma leaned forward, whispering as the waitress walked out of earshot.

  “Hopefully.”

  “I don’t get it.” Emma leaned back, feeling bemused.

  “Think of it this way,” Nick told her, his words starting to run together as he downed his fifth consecutive scotch on the rocks. “If you don’t take Daniel back, this is the fate that awaits him.”

  “A life full of random hookups?”

  “A life without love.”

  For a moment, the bravado fell away, and Nick Cardelinni was just a guy nursing a broken heart. Then his wall went back up,
and he once more became the handsome, confident guy in the designer suit who could sleep with any girl he wanted.

  “So you’re saying I should give him another chance?”

  “Yes,” Nick clarified. “Life is too short, Ems. If the flame for Daniel still flickers, you should give him one more chance.”

  EMMA LAY AWAKE THAT night dwelling on Nick’s advice. He’d since gone home with the waitress from the bar after bustling Emma into his chauffeur-driven car and drunkenly insisting that he’d give her a call the next day.

  Staring into the darkness, Emma searched her feelings. She did still love Daniel; there was no denying that. He still had the ability to make her heart race and her palms sweat with just a single look. But it was that hold over her that terrified her. What if she gave him another chance and he broke her again? Would she end up as the female version of Nick? Out in bars meeting random men, externally seeming to have it all when inside she was just hollowed by despair?

  Emma wasn’t sure if the risk would be worth it. Her home was full of expensive gifts, but she’d yet to hear again from Daniel, and she’d yet to hear him utter a sincere sentiment about how he felt.

  AS THE SUN SHONE IN the following morning, Emma began clearing her apartment of the clutter that had gathered during Daniel’s attempts at buying her forgiveness. She kept the gifts she liked and piled the others up by her front door to be given away. She knew it was time to clear out both her apartment and her mind.

  She was tidying away some designer lingerie that she’d opted to keep when her phone rang. Assuming it would be Nick, Emma answered the call without checking the caller ID. She knew he’d want to gloat about his evening with the waitress. As he so eloquently put it, now that he was in the friend zone, Emma was privy to the sordid details of his hookups.

  “If you want to brag about last night, it’s a bit early to start telling me how far she could bend her legs back,” Emma said with a smile.

  “What?” a confused Daniel replied.

  Emma instantly froze with the phone in her hand as her heart began to flutter madly in her chest. Daniel was calling. But why? Had he sensed that she’d been thinking about him? Had Nick told him to call?