In a Great Southern Land

by Mary-Anne O'Connor

  ‘Ah, thank Ireland. He’s the one who pulled the strings,’ Ellis said, and Liam and Dave looked over at the man tearfully.

  The lawyer merely smiled and called over: ‘Go and buy the poor fellow a drink. He could use one, from what I’ve heard.’

  ‘One? We’ll buy him a hundred! Come on, Liam,’ Dave said and they rushed for the doors, to spill out onto the erupting streets of Melbourne this historic day.

  Never had Liam felt more joyful than this moment as they ran to have Kieran released, through a triumphant, exuberant Melbourne crowd. All of their lives finally, so wonderfully, had been turned around today. Kieran was free, which meant Liam was free too, and Eileen and the family, free to follow whatever their hearts desired. And, as he reached the courtyard and looked up at the bars that would no longer come between them, Liam felt a surge of conviction that the Clancys would be blessed from now on.

  Kieran would find his Eve and Liam would win Amanda’s love because they’d beaten all the odds now, finding life where there was surely death, freedom where there was gaol. Surely a peaceful life on Clancy land would be their fate now, with nothing else to stand in its way.

  Forty-Seven

  Warrnambool, April 1855

  She’d known it as soon as she’d opened her eyes that this would be the day. It was only a slight pain but she recognised the feeling from her miscarriage years ago: the baby was definitely coming. Eve rose to look outside, at what kind of day it would be when her baby was born, but it was a strange sort of one, with heavy clouds blocking the sunrise and patches of blue in irregular arrangement. It was windy too, as if the weather was just generally confused, and she smiled, thinking it may mean her child would be unpredictable, and perhaps a little wild.

  She could smell the porridge cooking, which meant Eileen was already up but Eve prolonged telling her she was in labour for now. She needed her help but not her too-knowing looks that had begun the day Eileen had confronted her about hiding something and she knew, somehow, that Eileen had figured out her deceit. Eileen wasn’t a very good liar and she often let remarks slip, insinuating Eve wasn’t who she said she was. Sayings like ‘you can’t make a silk purse from a sow’s ear’ had begun to pepper her conversation and questions about the marks on her wrists and her housekeeping skills kept popping up until Eve wanted to scream the truth.

  But, of course, she never could.

  She could make up some other name and background for herself, she supposed, a less genteel one that would be more believable, but Eve really didn’t want to throw more lies upon her lies. It would just have to suffice that soon she would leave with her child and let these people live in peace, without a thief in their midst. And without someone who had loved their deceased brother and could steal away all their hope that he still lived.

  For some reason her father came to mind then, and with it his advice about being honest. Something she’d long forgotten in the turmoil of the past few years.

  Look for truth and act truthfully, Evie, and remember: you teach people how to treat you, with each and every thing you do and say.

  She’d taught these people nothing but her own deceit and she didn’t deserve to live with them, reinforcing it each day.

  How far I’ve fallen, Papa, she told his spirit now, too far for God’s forgiveness, even you would have to see that. I’m so sorry…but then a contraction tore through her and she gasped, knowing she’d have to tell Eileen soon. She was saved from having to do so, however, as a knock came at the door.

  ‘Amanda, are you…oh dear lord, is it today? Into bed with you now,’ she scolded after taking one look at Eve doubled over and grimacing as she held onto the windowsill. Eve allowed her to help her back to it and she lay down, trying to prepare herself for what the day would bring. But whatever physical agony it gave her it would be nothing compared to the emotional pain that would come when she took Kieran’s child away, separated forever from the only family he or she would ever know.

  Forty-Eight

  Ballan, April 1855

  ‘I’m telling you, they just up and left.’

  ‘But they must have told somebody something.’

  ‘They were funny like that,’ the man whom Liam had introduced as Barney told him, ‘kept to themselves most of the time on account o’ the lady’s poor health.’

  ‘Yes, I know that,’ Kieran said, exasperated. His throat was paining him too but at least his voice was back now, thanks to some numbing tonic he and Liam had made up and he’d used regularly over the past few days. It was raspy, and he had to keep his sentences short, but he could communicate, which was just as well because now it seemed he had quite a search ahead of him. ‘Surely they left some clue.’

  ‘Not so far as I know of,’ he said with a shrug. ‘You’ve a needle in a haystack ahead o’ ye now, son, but I’ll tell ye one thing: ye fair broke that poor girl’s heart. I’d waste no time in finding her, if I were you.’

  Kieran walked outside the shop where the man worked and ran his hand across his newly shaven face, frustrated at the dead end and wondering wildly what to do now. He’d known she wouldn’t be here, of course, Liam had told him that much, but he’d thought he’d be able to trace her movements if he started in Ballan. Now it seemed she could be anywhere, perhaps even in another country for all he knew. Thinking he’d chosen his mates and the rebellion over her. Thinking he was dead.

  Liam had filled him in on the tale of the cap and the mistaken burial yesterday, waiting until the day after he was released lest he rush off to find her straight from hospital. It had shocked him, causing him to hurry and get on the road to here before he’d even had a moment to think straight, but now there was time to think, alright. And he needed a plan fast.

  Liam was holding the horses, watching him closely, and Kieran looked to him for answers. He was always so clever, perhaps he could see a place to start.

  ‘It’s no use trying to begin from here,’ Liam said, reading his mind. ‘We need to consider how they would have travelled and where.’

  ‘Melbourne seems likely,’ Kieran said, taking out his tonic. ‘We need to go and check,’ he began, pausing for a swig, ‘…coach houses and ship records.’

  ‘Aye, but you need to make a detour, Kier. It isn’t fair not to see Eileen before you go, not after all the worry she’s been through.’

  ‘You can tell her I’m alright.’

  ‘It’s less than a day’s ride. Besides, you need to rest and pack and do this properly. Who knows how long it may take?’

  Kieran nodded, seeing the sense in that. The cart he’d left by the side of the road back on that fateful day of the battle had long disappeared, along with all his belongings. Besides, it was still early so they’d be able to get to Warrnambool late and spend the night. A sensible option in all. ‘Come on then,’ he said and they mounted and began to move off. ‘I can’t stop longer than overnight though. Every day…’ he paused then, wondering how to break the next to his brother. Directly, he supposed. He was hardly one to waste words anymore. ‘She’s having my baby.’

  Liam stared at him, taken aback. ‘That…that complicates things.’

  ‘Aye.’

  ‘Do you…do you think she’s being treated well? I mean, a servant isn’t supposed to…well, you know how people are.’

  Kieran shook his head. ‘I can’t imagine them just casting her out. Amanda is a bit selfish and spoilt but she isn’t cruel.’

  ‘Amanda,’ Liam said, surprise crossing his face once more. ‘Funny you should mention that name. I…er…have some news of my own.’

  His brother was blushing now and Kieran started to smile, glad to focus on someone else for a moment. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve found a girl?’

  ‘She found us, actually,’ Liam said, still blushing and now fiddling with the reins. ‘You know how I told you about all the shipwrecks we get down on the coast? Well, she was washed up on shore, the only survivor, and…’

  ‘You swept her into your arms?’

&
nbsp; Liam laughed self-consciously. ‘Well, not quite as gallantly as all that, but she has been staying with us ever since.’

  ‘And have you declared your feelings as yet, brother?’ Kieran was thoroughly enjoying watching Liam’s discomfort. It was the first time he’d ever been able to tease him so.

  ‘In a way, but that’s complicated too. Her husband perished at sea and she’s, well, she’s having a baby too.’

  Kieran stared at him, then shook his head. ‘Oh, what a pair we are, eh?’

  ‘Aye,’ Liam said with a sigh, ‘but at least your girl loves you, well, will do once she knows you’re still alive. Mine’s in mourning and, I don’t know, there’s something else going on with her too. She doesn’t seem to believe in herself, almost as if she sees herself as cursed.’

  ‘Eve used to feel that way. Probably does again now, I’m guessing,’ Kieran said, sad for her at the thought. ‘But you can’t focus on that; you have to push through it,’ he advised, ‘convince her you’re meant to be.’

  ‘How am I supposed to do that?’ Liam asked, and Kieran looked up at the sky.

  ‘Just follow your heart, brother,’ he said, adding with a grin, ‘and maybe try a little Irish charm.’

  Forty-Nine

  Warrnambool, April 1855

  She didn’t need to be told something was wrong. Endless hours of childbirth had weakened her to the point of pure exhaustion and Eileen was pacing and frantic.

  ‘Get me a fresh pitcher of water,’ she instructed Rory, who had been turning whiter by the hour, painful memories no doubt assailing him.

  Eileen had even brought in a statue of Mary, placing flowers in front, and Eve could feel the desperation in the room. It was lit by several lanterns but they were fading into a blur now as Eve struggled to stay conscious.

  Another contraction ripped through her and she cried out against it, her world turning to stars as she squeezed her eyes against the excruciating, slicing pain.

  ‘Hold on, Amanda, you’re almost there.’

  Eileen was holding her hand and Eve clutched at it, screaming now, before the agony finally receded and she slumped back in the pillows.

  Perhaps this was it, she thought dazedly, the end of her unnatural life. Her day of reckoning here, after all the others she’d survived. Memories of judgement days long past floated through her mind and she could hear the voices as if their owners stood in the room, like spectres.

  You are to pack your things and leave our service immediately.

  …sentenced to transportation to the colony of Australia…

  I saw the list of the dead, love. His name was on it.

  ‘No, no,’ she groaned, her head thrashing back and forth.

  ‘Amanda,’ Eileen called to her, but the stars were coming her way again, not southern ones to bless or curse, the ones that heralded pain.

  ‘Hold on, love, oh dear God,’ Eileen’s voice came through vaguely. She was crying now and Eve knew the memories for her must be horribly raw.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she panted, ‘I’m sorry this has to be you.’

  Eileen stroked her brow with a cloth and Eve managed to open her eyes and focus as the wave receded once more, like the ocean pulling back, only it would hurl at her again, she knew. She was fighting for life in an inky black sea of pain, clutching on to survival, mocked by those stars.

  Eve grasped at the sheets, fighting it all. Holding fast.

  ‘The baby is stuck, Amanda, like mine was. I’ll have to go in and pull it out.’

  Tears streamed down Eileen’s face and Eve reached out to grasp her hand. ‘Eileen…I’m not…’

  ‘Save your strength, love. Everything is going to be alright,’ Eileen told her and Eve knew she was lying. But lies couldn’t save her now, nor could they save her child, and it was time to let them all go.

  ‘I’m not Amanda…’

  Eileen nodded, fresh tears rolling. ‘I know. I saw her picture in the newspaper.’

  ‘I’m…’

  But then the pain crashed once more and she was drowning in it, and those stars exploded where sight should be, and she could hear the apocalyptic sound of horse hooves as the end drew near.

  They were exhausted but Liam was practically running after they dismounted and went up the porch stairs. It made Kieran smile, hoping his brother would receive a warm welcome from his lady.

  ‘I’ve a present for you,’ Liam announced, but the room was empty and he turned to Kieran before they both walked over to another door and Liam pushed it open to a scene that was so familiar it hurt to watch it; bowls of bloodied bandages, an ashen-faced Rory, a woman in agony on the bed. Then Eileen turned and her face told the tale before something else took its place: pure love and the sheerest of relief.

  ‘Kieran,’ she cried and fell into his arms. ‘Oh Liam, I knew you’d do it, I knew.’ She was sobbing and they both held her close.

  ‘Kieran,’ Rory echoed, coming over to hold them all too and Kieran closed his eyes momentarily at the love he felt for them all. But then a third person said his name, in a voice weakened by pain, but it was impossible not to hear the shock within it. Nor the soft-cultured accent that underscored the sound.

  The spectres had gone and they’d sent an angel in their place, the dearest one of all. The kindest man on earth who now lived in heaven.

  He was walking over to her, so real and lifelike, yet she could see the fresh scar on his neck, the bullet that must have killed him.

  ‘I’m dying, my love,’ she whispered, ‘I’m coming to you.’ God was being merciful, after all. She would make it into heaven too.

  ‘Eve,’ he said, his face filled with shock. ‘Oh, my girl.’ He kissed her and his lips felt warm. Oh, if only that was real, she told her fuddled mind, but now the stars were coming once more.

  ‘Do something!’ she heard him cry out, before even the stars turned black.

  Eileen took Eve’s hand that was now limp at her side. ‘It’s the same as what I went through, I think,’ she told the room but then she turned to Kieran. ‘What did you just call her?’

  ‘Eve,’ he said, staring in horror at her unconscious face. ‘You have to save her,’ he begged, ‘that’s my child. That’s my Eve, Eiles, my love.’

  ‘Your…your…’

  It was Liam who spoke and Kieran turned towards him, the full impact of the whole truth unravelling in Kieran’s mind now. Shipwrecked. Alone. A convict servant with someone else’s identity there for the taking, no other choice save gaol once more. ‘This is your Amanda?’

  ‘Aye,’ Liam said vaguely, his face drawn with shock. ‘She…she can’t be both.’

  Eileen wiped Eve’s brow and stared over at her brothers, tears streaming but her voice firm. ‘Whoever she is, we need to get that baby out because she’s…she’s…’

  ‘No,’ Kieran said. ‘Liam,’ he turned back. ‘Please…please, you have to help her.’

  ‘I couldn’t do it again…I…’

  ‘You’re the only one who ever has,’ Eileen said, her eyes so pained Rory turned away at the sight. ‘There may still be a chance.’

  Liam was still and Kieran grabbed his arm, begging now. ‘Liam…I can’t lose her. Please do this for me. Please.’

  Liam nodded then and began to move, washing his hands, moving into position and waiting until Eileen had coaxed Eve back to consciousness with cold presses and movement.

  ‘Just one push now, love,’ she coaxed. ‘It’s all we’ll ask of you.’

  ‘On the count of three,’ Liam said, ‘one, two…’

  ‘Arghhhh…’ came Eve’s pitiful cry as her body arched and Liam pulled out the child, unwrapping the cord from around its neck and holding it in his arms momentarily before raising his eyes to Kieran.

  ‘She…she’s…’

  Then a sound filled the room, more precious than any Kieran had ever heard as his daughter cried out her presence to the world.

  ‘Oh…oh thank the lord,’ Eileen said, dissolving into tears.

&nbs
p; Liam handed the baby into Kieran’s arms and he stared down at a beautiful heart-shaped face that was puckered up with her distress at the ordeal of being born, and he did the only thing he could think to do. And the only thing that could possibly save Eve now: he placed her in her mother’s arms.

  The stars were gone and the waves had stopped and now there was another angel, this one even more beautiful than the last. Eve’s eyes kept wanting to close but she fought against them to behold this dear little face. The cherub had been distressed but now she was content, and watching her with curious eyes, and Eve felt a surge of love so strong she began to cry.

  The darkness pulled her but she fought against it, some small strength born from this new emotion, this power. And looking at the Kieran angel now alongside her, she decided whatever this in-between world was, this was where she would stay. She’d survived many forms of hell on that other place they called earth. And heaven could just damn well wait.

  Fifty

  Ballan, June 1855

  It was cold and Kieran rose to stoke the fire, sparks flying up the chimney as the flames began to leap and dance. It was getting quite late but the mail had arrived and he’d sat up to read the papers and the long-awaited letter from Liam, which he’d read twice. He was in a place called Murwillumbah, a long way north on the coast of New South Wales, and Kieran could read between the lines, well enough to know his brother was enjoying his travel adventures, even if he hadn’t quite got over his broken heart. It was a terrible cost for Kieran’s own happiness but it couldn’t be helped. Just another twist in his and Eve’s star-crossed fate.

  Kieran rose to stare outside, deciding to smoke his pipe despite the icy air and, as he stepped out, he noticed the stars were, in fact, very bright tonight as the Southern Cross twinkled above them like diamonds on the dark velvet sky.

  How those stars had changed things, not just for him but for all Australians now. He’d just read that all free men had been granted the right to vote and that Peter Lalor himself would sit for parliament, an extraordinary turn of events. Licence fees were greatly reduced and miners could now buy their land as what seemed impossible a year ago came to pass.