Better off Dead Book Four

by Odette C. Bell

  Energy met me. It tried to thrust me back, but I just pushed into it. This was not magic. This was a pure battle of wills.

  I held on to my hope, literally, cramming the cross and rings together in my hands, holding onto them with all my damn power until they could’ve melted into my fingers.

  Chaos flame continued to arc and spit around me. It shot higher and higher until I thought it would bring the entire cavern down. My hair plastered over my face. My dress was practically ripped off me. But I still forced myself forward. I pushed and I pushed and I pushed. I thought nothing of death. Even as Sonos screamed my name, I couldn’t stop.

  I watched as the Banished absorbed the last of Hilliker’s light. I saw as chaos found a hole into this world.

  Hilliker lost his mouth. All the flesh and bone – all the teeth and hair – they burned off him. They turned into the Banished’s massive gaping maw.

  I witnessed Hilliker’s demise. I stared at him disappearing, just as I shoved my hand forward. I threw the cross and rings right down the Banished’s mouth. The whole time, I stared right into its eyes. “True chaos doesn’t exist. Not in this world. Not while I’m alive. You will go back to where you belong. You need to become a concept again – nothing more than a dark shadow in people’s minds. Your existence has been rejected.”

  The Banished closed its mouth around my arm. I felt it disintegrating.

  I didn’t yank it back. I stared right into its eyes. Just when I thought it would blast through my hope and continued to consume the rest of reality, it buckled. This bright light began to shine inside its body. While it had taken on its own head, it still had Hilliker’s body. It looked like someone had filled a balloon with way too much water. It twisted this way and that, undulating like a violent sea until suddenly it exploded.

  Chaos flames blasted out, but only for a few centimeters. They were quickly extinguished by reality itself.

  I... had done it.

  I fell back, a smile on my face, hope in my heart, and the end all around me.

  It was time to submit to death – once and for all.

  I’d finally found the point of being resurrected. I was neither cursed nor blessed. I was simply myself.

  Epilogue

  It turned out I didn’t die. You can’t blame me for thinking I would. I’d been half consumed by the Banished. I had no magic. I was nothing but a human. But I lived. Sonos wouldn’t let me die now, would he?

  I was lying in a medical bed. I was staring blearily up at the ceiling above me. My sister had just left with Sato and Barney. Everyone was alive.

  “I told you not to try to move your torso,” Sonos said as he stood beside me. He was clutching hold of my left hand. My right hand didn’t exist anymore. I’d lost my arm. Sato had already promised that he would build me one – one better, one grander, one that even had a secret compartment for Christmas ornaments. I’d just laughed and accepted the offer.

  I stared up at Sonos. “How can I not move? Moving is how I know that I’m not dead. It’s also how I know that I’m not the Banished.”

  He laughed. “How on earth could you, the child of the Deep, be the Banished?”

  I stared up at him. The low, sultry lighting in the room made him look all the more handsome. No, that was just me, wasn’t it? Because, as always, Sonos showed you what you wanted to see.

  But what I wanted to see right now was what was really there. I lifted my good hand. I had to pry it out of his fingers, but I did it anyway. I let the tips of my nails trail down his cheek. “I’ve always wanted to see the real you, you know.”

  He laughed. “I would’ve assumed that you already had. You saw the weak me,” his voice dipped down low as his gaze locked on the floor. “You saw the vulnerable me that could not save you in the end.”

  I laughed even deeper now. “I meant the real you. The face you see when you look in the mirror. I know how demons work, but I... I want to see you as you are.”

  He looked at me. It was an enduring look – it was a gaze that seemed to have the capacity to travel through all matter. It could pierce through every secret. It could drag up the truth from any depth. “Who’s to say you aren’t seeing the real me now? Even if I tried to hide from you – as I did for many years,” he admitted in a low voice, “you managed to find the truth in the end. But to answer your question, I see nothing when I look in the mirror. I cannot see my own reflection.”

  I frowned. “Really?”

  He nodded. He held my face, the movements of his fingers tender. “I wish to see how you see me,” he admitted in a husky rasp. He stared at my eyes. I could tell that he was trying to pick up his reflection.

  I shifted, getting closer to his face, trying to make it easier for him. “Is it working? Can you see yourself?”

  He pushed in closer until his face was right up against mine.

  I just opened my eyes even wider. “Is it working, Sonos?”

  He suddenly smiled. It cracked across his mouth. “I think you need to get just a little closer.”

  My stomach kicked as I realized what he was doing. I shoved him away. “Can’t see yourself, my ass. I can’t believe I fell for that.”

  He laughed. “Ah, but you found the truth in the end.”

  I just looked at him and rolled my eyes. I went to lift my right arm, but again I realized it just didn’t exist.

  I stared down at where it should be, a slightly glum look on my face. It didn’t last. I’d lost one arm but saved reality. It was a pretty good bargain.

  Speaking of good bargains, I stared down at my tennis bracelet. It was still a set of two intertwining dragons. When Sato had seen it, he’d practically lost his teeth. Barney had almost keeled over, too. Hell, even Mr. Fenticle had survived the ordeal, and as he’d gazed at it, he’d almost lost his whiskers.

  Sonos followed my gaze. “I won that for you, you know. You should be eternally grateful.”

  I looked at him. Though all I wanted to do was say something sarcastic, I stared down at the bracelet instead. I touched the dragons. They twirled around my fingers affectionately then continued around my wrist.

  “With time and practice, you will be able to use them to nominally cast magic,” Sonos repeated, even though he’d already told me this when I’d woken up.

  “Yeah,” I muttered as I stroked the dragons again. It turns out the old lady’s fortune was quite a fortune indeed. She, toward the end of her life, had lost the ability to cast magic, too. But she’d been rich, and she had been as evil as they’d come. She’d gathered together magical forces and created this charm bracelet. And it literally was a charm bracelet. The two dragons could create about any charm you could think of. You had to learn how to use them, though, but I would.

  Or maybe I wouldn’t. Because that chapter of my life was finally over. I didn’t have anything to fight anymore.

  A new chapter was opening out in front of me.

  Sonos opened his mouth. Judging by the slight smile on his lips, he was about to joke again. I was done joking.

  I stared up at him. I let my gaze tick back and forth across his face. I took in every line and wrinkle. But most of all, I took in the light in his eyes. I could’ve bathed in it for eternity.

  I suddenly grabbed his tie. I drew him close. I stared up into his eyes again. He obviously thought I was about to kiss him, but as I continued to stare, his brow shifted down slightly. “What is it?”

  I gazed back and forth between his eyes, back and forth, back and forth. “What do I look like in your eyes?”

  “Sorry?” he asked, his voice husky.

  “What do I look like in your eyes? How do you see me?”

  He let his fingers trail down my face. The move was slow and involved. He wasn’t simply stroking me; he was paying attention to every single sensation. He was logging in every detail, even as he did it again and again. “A partner for lifetimes.”

  “But I gave away your engagement ring. I shoved it down the throat of a monster.”

&nbs
p; He laughed. “I can acquire another.”

  “Just try not to steal it.”

  He smiled slightly. He didn’t continue with our banter. He just stroked my face. And I continued to stare into his eyes as I tried to see my own reflection. I didn’t know why this mattered so much. Who cared what I looked like now? As I’d already appreciated, all that mattered was that I had a form to begin with. I had been through Hell – sorry, chaos – and back again. I had been to every realm. And I’d sacrificed almost everything I had. But then I’d found more.

  That was the point, wasn’t it? Reality asks you to give. But in giving, it teaches you how to create.

  I flattened my hand on his cheek. I drew myself close. I still didn’t kiss him. I just gazed into his eyes. I couldn’t find what I was after. I couldn’t catch a glimpse of myself. I continued until I suddenly stopped.

  I didn’t need to see myself in his eyes to know that I was here. It was a lesson I would never lose sight of again.

  Sonos couldn’t take it anymore, and he made the first move. Shifting in slowly, he paused, his lips half open in front of mine. I felt his warmth, felt his breath. He finally closed the distance and kissed me.

  I closed my eyes. I had no magical senses anymore. I only had one life left. I had lost and lost and lost – but I had gained more than I could imagine.

  I was a child of the Deep. Sonos was a General of the Damned. We were hardly a match made in Heaven. But we didn’t need to be crafted in that realm for our relationship to matter.

  Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, the Deep – they were just places for the body. It was where your mind and heart resided that mattered most. And I’d finally found my home.

  The end of Better off Dead. If you enjoyed this series, you’ll love Legal Rights. This four-book action-packed urban fantasy is complete, so pick it up today.

  More by Odette C. Bell

  Police-Procedural Urban Fantasy

  Don’t be put off by the police-procedural bit. These stories aren’t training manuals. They’re punchy Urban Fantasies with strong mystery sub-plots. Maybe the main characters are private eyes or magical detectives, but definitely they’ve been thrown into adventures that threaten to swallow them up. From getting caught up in the machinations of twisted magical councils to fighting forgotten destinies, these heroines will have to save the world before everything is said and done.

  A Lying Witch

  Angel: Private Eye

  Anna’s Hope

  Broken Witch

  Forgotten Destiny

  Legal Rites

  My Immortal Soul

  The Frozen Witch

  Witch’s Bell

  Action Urban Fantasy

  These stories combine two things – frenetic action sequences and magic. Lots of it. From heroines who are the most coveted pieces in ancient games to broken angels who must consume souls to survive, these ladies have to win to save themselves. But to win, they’ve got to fight. Hard. If you like punchy plots that don’t detract from the action, then these books are for you.

  Hell’s Angel

  Gods no More

  God Given

  Magic Born

  On the Cards

  Prince of Roses

  The Demon’s Witch

  The Last Queen