Blood & Stone: The Saboteur Chronicles Book 3
Page 20
“What is it, Lerah? You can tell me.” She pushed up on her palms.
“After the mission, I was…taken.”
“By whom?” There was genuine concern in her voice.
“Men. Rebels. Enemies of Genesis. Dominic tried to stop them…but he couldn’t. They…did things.” Her voice broke and she tried to turn her face away before Roserine could see the tears.
She pulled Lerah into her arms. “I’m so sorry.”
The walls crumbled. The dam broke. She collapsed into Roserine’s embrace, cheek to her chest, feeling everything all at once. Her mouth hung open, but no sound came. Her grief was frozen there in her chest; there was too much to release in a single breath. When it finally broke free it did so as a wail; the wail of a broken girl that had been left bound on the black shores of the Neon Sea.
“Over and over they raped me.” She clung to Roserine as if she were the only thing keeping her from drowning. “They took pieces of me. They laughed. Dominic thinks I blame him; I see it there on his face whenever he looks at me. But the truth is I don’t. I don’t know who to blame. Do I blame my father for agreeing to send me out there? The Shadeux for instilling in me a false sense of security? Myself…for not being strong enough?”
“You did nothing wrong. You blame the men that hurt you.” Roserine had her chin propped on Lerah’s head, running her fingers through her hair. “What you don’t do is hold it in and let it fester. You’ve got to let it out and let it go. You won’t forget, there will always be scars, but at least you can heal.”
“That’s been the hardest part,” Lerah sniffed and wiped some of the tears away with her wrists. “I can’t talk to Dominic. I love him and I know it’ll just hurt him. And I know he can’t say what I need to hear. So I put on this mask. I play pretend. I play soldier.” She felt tears that were not her own pattering against the side of her neck. She sat up, still holding Roserine’s hands. “Are you okay? Did I upset you?”
“No,” she sighed, “I just wish I’d been half as brave as you.”
“What are you talking about? You’re in charge of an entire Kingdom. You’ve got full grown men with weapons and armor bending to your will. That takes a bravery that I’m not sure even I possess.”
She shook her head. “I’m putting on a mask. Putting on an act, just like you. It’s all out of necessity. Anthena is hanging by a thread. If I was brave…I don’t know, perhaps if I’d have stood up to them…perhaps my brother…”
“Your brother?”
Roserine recounted the tragic events in fragmented details.
“They say it was the right thing.”
“Who is they?”
“Eirik. Our priest. Emily. All of them told me I did the right thing. But why can’t I find peace when I close my eyes? Why, when I hear the story of how you and Dominic came together, does it feel like I’m being punched in the stomach…like I made a terrible mistake?”
“Hey, look at me,” she pushed Roserine’s flame-colored hair behind her ears, “you did what you thought was right at that moment. In war, things are rarely so clear-cut. I was a soldier, Roserine. You’re leading a Kingdom. So much depends on you. I don’t know what I would have done in your shoes. But I do know that if you did what you thought was best then you have no right to sit here and beat yourself up over it.”
“But did I do what was best? Or was I acting out of fear?” She searched Lerah’s eyes for the answer. “Without the loyalty of the people, I am nothing. And the soldiers act like they listen to me, but I know a majority of them would turn their backs if given the word by Eirik; a woman on the throne is an unnatural and delicate thing.”
“Courage requires fear. I learned that from one of my teachers when I first started training to become a Shadeux. Fear can lead us to inaction or it can lead us to action. You felt fear, you took action, and you moved ahead the best way you knew how. You didn’t freeze. You didn’t back down. You made a tough and selfless decision. I look at you, Roserine, and I see courage.”
Roserine smiled, closed her eyes, and pressed her forehead to Lerah’s; they sat, fingers intertwined, breathing each other’s air. “You’re not what I expected.”
“And what is it you expected?”
“A frigid bitch.” They both laughed. “I imagine it takes a tough woman to deal with a man like Dominic.”
“There’s a soft center beneath all that scar tissue.”
“From the stories you tell, he seems like a good man.” She pulled herself onto Lerah’s lap and coiled her legs around her waist, gauging her reaction with each movement. “You’ve got the most beautiful eyes.”
She moved her hands to Roserine’s hips. She didn’t know what she was doing or what she should say. The only thing she knew was that Roserine’s touch lit a fire between her thighs. “You feel…great.”
What the fuck am I saying?
“Would you object to me kissing you?” She was already cradling Lerah’s face, anticipating the answer.
“No,” Lerah replied, her voice a whisper.
The first kiss was a gentle push. A bed of perfumed pillows. Full and soft. Precise and passionate. The candied kiss was unlike any Lerah had experienced. They held it until the last possible second, coming up to catch their breath. They spoke in silence, through hungry expressions, their chests heaving with desire. Lerah nodded and Roserine lunged again, mouth open, her tongue moving wildly—searching teeth, and lips, and gums—before coiling with Lerah’s. Lerah wrapped her hands around Roserine’s lower back and pulled her in closer before sliding them down across the leather pants covering her ass.
“I can take them off for you.” Roserine panted.
“If you want.” She was overwhelmed by desire and doubt.
Roserine kissed her and stood up on the bed. She unbuttoned and removed her pants. Her thighs were thick and smooth and separated by a tuft of auburn pubic hair, her hips acting as a base for a perfect, ivory-colored, hourglass figure. She sat back on Lerah’s lap, wrapping her up again and laying siege to her with her lips and tongue. The flesh of Roserine’s ass melted between Lerah’s fingers with each squeeze.
“Touch me.” Roserine’s plea took the form of a raspy moan.
“Where?” she stuttered like a fool.
Roserine reached around and took her by her right wrist and guided her hand between her thighs. It was warm, wet, soft, and familiar. There was no resistance as her fingers slid inside. Roserine gasped and her eyes fluttered as Lerah began exploring her.
“Keep doing that.” Roserine’s legs straightened and she pointed her toes, biting her bottom lip as her face contorted with the flood of pleasure washing through her body. She pressed her hips down, burying Lerah’s fingers inside of her, all the way to the knuckles. “Gods! It’s incredible!” Roserine ripped her shirt open, sending the last button sailing across the room. Her full, teardrop-shaped breasts fell free and began swaying with the thrusting of her hips. There was something so graceful and beautiful about it all. Sex with a man was violent and animalistic; all stabbing and grunting and pawing. With a man, if you wanted pleasure, you had to take it. But Roserine was soft and gentle, her body molding itself to Lerah’s fingers and lips, asking for pleasure and returning it two-fold. But Dominic was still in the back of Lerah’s mind. The thought of tossing Roserine aside and running for the door was ever present. Christ, she’d come to this land hoping to escape confusion and conflict.
What was this?
Surely it wasn’t love. Love is what she felt for Dominic.
Dominic…
This was something else. Some connection. Something born out of shared grief and understanding.
Roserine’s groaning yanked her back into the moment. The crimson-haired goddess’ cheeks were flushed and her eyes were glossy.
“Please, please, please, don’t stop!”
She wrapped an arm around Roserine’s waist and held on tight. Roserine pulled Lerah’s hair, her voice reduced to a squeak as she contracted with orgasm. When
she was finished she kissed Lerah and fell backward on the bed. Lerah sat for a moment, still trying to make sense of what’d just happened when she realized her fingers were still inside of the Queen. She slid them free and wiped them clean on the sheet. She didn’t know what to do next, so she did nothing.
For awhile Roserine just laid there, legs spread, each breath deep and contented. When she sat back up, her eyes were still heavy with passion. She kissed Lerah. “Your turn.”
Lerah stepped backward off the bed. “I can’t.”
“But you just did.” Roserine stood up on her knees.
“I did…yes. Maybe I shouldn’t have. This is…it’s a lot, okay? That happened and I didn’t expect it to, but I can’t change it. Not that I’d want to change it. But…oh fuck, I sound like a fucking school girl apologizing for using too much teeth during her first blow-job.”
“You have a way with words.”
“Why don’t you ever curse?”
“It’s taboo in our culture.”
“But getting finger fucked by a woman you just met isn’t?”
She shrugged. “We can be a complicated people.”
“That’s for goddamn sure.”
“It’s okay. We can slow down. I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable.”
Lerah shook her head. “That’s the thing…it didn’t.”
“You don’t have to figure your feelings out tonight. Just come and lay with me. I enjoy your company.”
“I can’t. It’s getting late and I need to get home. Dominic will be waiting up for me.”
She sighed. “You really love him.”
“I really do.”
“Good. You should bring him to dinner tomorrow. And Hawthorne too. I’ll let Hawthorne’s boss know that he’ll be late to his shift.”
“Um, okay, yeah.” She answered hesitantly.
She wondered how she would explain what happened to Dominic. She wondered if she would even try.
28
Emily and Coen sat atop the lighthouse, a wineskin passing between them, watching diamonds glitter across the surface of the water.
“He’s harmless, Emily.”
“Harmless,” she paused to swallow the wine in her left cheek, “is not a word I’d use to describe that man.”
“All beasts will bite if you prod them. But he seems genuine about his desire to settle down. We could use more men like him around here. Hell, take him out of the mine and put some armor on his back and a sword in his hand; we might be able to end things with the Eval tomorrow.”
Emily shook her head and passed the skin off. “I’m not comfortable putting a sword in that man’s hand just yet.”
“Lucky for you the burden of that decision doesn’t rest on your shoulders.”
“My responsibilities and burdens seem to lessen by the day.” Emily didn’t wait for Coen to pass the wineskin back; she pulled it from his clutches and took a drink.
“Still sore about Lerah?”
“Trying not to be.”
“I’m sure the alcohol helps with that.”
“That it does.”
“Did you try taking my advice and occupying your mind with other things?”
“You mean did I take up sewing?”
“Among other possibilities, yes.”
“I walked the shores, kicked at a few stones, got shat on by a bird, had a drink, made myself a stew, and now I sit with you having another drink and pondering the pitiful state of my existence.”
“Sounds like a full day,” Coen said without a hint of sarcasm.
“It was a swirling, black hole.”
“A bit dramatic, don’t you think?”
“No, Coen, I don’t.” Emily stood in a huff and walked to the rusted railing. “I’m a shadow of what I was. Everything I’ve known since I was old enough to hold a sword has been turned upside down in a matter of days. All because of this…Lerah whore.”
Coen stood. “You’re still you, my dear. This has nothing to do with Lerah. Roserine was trying to push you from the nest long before Lerah touched down on these shores.”
“I like the nest. I like my life. I protect the Queen. I serve a purpose. I should be standing watch over her door right now, but I was told my service wasn’t needed, that the guards would handle the night shift. Now, who am I?”
Coen leaned in beside her, an elbow propped on the railing. “You’re the woman I love; fierce, funny, ambitious. And I’m damn glad you’re not watching her door right now because that means you get to be here with me. Is my company really so bad?”
Emily’s head fell. “That’s not what I meant…you know how I feel about you.”
“I know what you tell me. But I’m looking at you now and it seems like you’d rather be anywhere else but here.”
“It’s just that you have your thing now; you’re a soldier. You’re serving Anthena.”
“Yes, but your entire life was about attending to Roserine. Every waking hour. Being a soldier doesn’t consume my life. Don’t you want to start a family someday? Get married?”
“Who’d want to start a family with me,” Emily scoffed.
“I would,” Coen said without hesitation.
Emily hadn’t been expecting that. Her head whipped around so fast she found herself dizzy and stumbling; she’d drunk a bit more than she thought. Coen caught her and stood her upright. She closed her eyes to halt the spinning. “You, Coen Callwen, want a family with me?”
“And why not?”
“Well…I don’t know. We’ve only just begun seeing each other.”
“Emily, I saw you long ago. I’m just thankful you finally saw me.”
“But, we’d have to get married first. It’s tradition and—”
He took her by the elbows. “Is this you saying yes?”
“Is this you asking?”
“Aye, it’s me asking.”
Emily leaped and wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. She kissed him hard and they both lost their balance; Coen grabbed the railing and kept them on their feet without breaking the kiss.
“Yes,” she said between kisses, “yes, yes, yes!” She was laughing and crying, drunk on love and drunk on wine; the finest sort of euphoria.
***
“I had sex with the Queen today.”
Dominic remained still, lying in bed on his back, staring at the ceiling. Lerah was beside him. He wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly. He’d been asking about her day and was expecting some angry rant about what a cunt the Queen was. Perhaps it’d been the wind, whistling through the windows and deceiving his ears with fairy-tales.
“Say something, Dominic. You’re making me feel awkward.”
“Repeat what you just said.”
“Did you really not hear me or is this just a preamble to you losing your shit?”
“I know what I think I heard.”
“I had sex with the Queen.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought I heard.” He wasn’t going to lose his shit. He didn’t even think he was angry. If it’d been another guy it’d be a different story; there’d be insecurities, fears, questions over what they were offering her that he couldn’t. But a woman…well, he couldn’t compete with a woman, he didn’t have the equipment; no point in getting worked up. Besides, he’d seen two women together and he reckoned he saw the appeal in it. “How?”
He felt her shrug. “I don’t know, it just happened.”
“That kind of thing doesn’t just happen, Lerah. I mean…she’s the Queen for fuck sake. Were you drunk?”
“No, I wasn’t drunk. Trust me, as crazy as it sounds to you, it was doubly so for me. I mean…she was coming onto me the entire time and I kept deflecting her. You don’t understand,” Lerah turned to her side, facing toward Dominic, resting her head in the crook of her arm, “she was worse than any guy that’s ever pursued me; just wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
“I knew she had her eye on you.”
“You were right.”
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“So she ended up breaking through your defenses?”
Lerah gave a whimsical sigh as if she were thinking back on the incident with a certain level of fondness. “We were talking one moment and kissing the next. One thing led to another and then she was on top of me, guiding my hands. I was so confused…I didn’t know how to feel or what to do.”
“What were you talking about that led to…that?”
“I don’t know. Girl stuff. Stuff that we’d been through. I think I misjudged her, you know. She’s not having an easy time. There’s stuff with her brother and that Eirik prick.”
“I know.”
“You do?”
“Yeah,” Dominic crossed his arms over his stomach and shifted in the bed, trying to remove a crick from his lower back, “I had drinks with one of the soldiers at the tavern. He told me all about it.”
“That was generous of him.”
“Afraid it wasn’t charity. I told him our story in return.”
Dominic expected Lerah to begin lecturing him about making group decisions without consulting her. “Oh. That’s a relief.”
“What do you mean?”
“Because I told Roserine too.”
“You did what?” He sat up and leaned back on his hands.
“You can’t be mad at me. You told some random soldier.”
“It wasn’t random. He’d been sent to try to pry information from me with wine and small talk.”
“So the Queen was playing both fronts.”
“Looks that way.” He fell back on the bed. “It’s smart. It’s what I would have done.”
“Yeah, I guess. If a couple strangers with a flimsy story came rolling into Genesis trying to take up residence, we’d have just tossed them out on their asses. She gave us food, shelter, and clothing.”
“There’s that. So do you think her seduction was just a way of getting you to talk?”
She shook her head.
“What makes you so sure?”
“I’d already told her everything she wanted to hear.”
There were drunks climbing the stairs outside, shouting at the sky; it sounded like a few men and a woman. A baby started to cry, startled from sleep by their racket. Soon voices were rising from the sleepy dwellings, shouting for them to shut up. Dominic and Lerah laid there and listened.