Listen to Your Heart

by Becky Harmon

  “Oh, Steph.” Cassie took the seat opposite her and leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees. “I don’t think Dorothy meant to make things rougher on you. She saw an opportunity to bring her granddaughter home.”

  Kathleen’s voice was low as if to soften the blow of her words. “It’ll be hard to convince Jemini to walk away from her job. She has a life in Tennessee.”

  “I know,” Steph sighed, pushing the tears back. “But I have to try.” Kathleen’s words held the truth even if she didn’t want to hear them. “Do you think telling her how much Dorothy wanted her to come home would help or make things worse?”

  “That’s a tough question,” Cassie answered, glancing at Kathleen.

  “I think it would help,” Kathleen said. “Right now, she doesn’t understand where you’re coming from. Just talking is good, though. Especially if you can tell her why you’re so angry.”

  Steph nodded. She had suspected, but now she knew for sure. Kathleen’s words were more than her opinion. Jemini had been talking to her. She was glad she had asked Kathleen to remain for the conversation. “Do you guys know if she’s in her cabin right now?”

  Kathleen pointed out the window and Steph’s gaze instantly found the outline of a familiar figure walking down the hill toward the resort. Even from a distance, she could see every curve of Jemini’s body highlighted by the yellow shirt and black shorts. She didn’t need Cassie or Kathleen to encourage her. “I’m going to talk to her,” she said as she hurried out the door.

  She stood on the steps to Jemini’s cabin and waited for her to approach. Jemini’s beautiful brown thighs were toned and the muscles in them tightened with each step she took. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t pull her eyes away from the body in front of her. The yellow running shirt hugged Jemini’s chest, revealing breasts that the suit had hidden yesterday. She looked different and not just because of the clothes she was wearing. Her expression seemed softer somehow and more inviting.

  * * *

  “What can I do for you, Deputy Williams?”

  “I thought we could try to talk again.”

  “I’m listening.” Jemini motioned to the chairs on the porch of her cabin. She would hear what Stephanie had to say and maybe ask some questions of her own, but she didn’t want to talk about what she was going to do with her inheritance. The last thing she wanted was for Stephanie to realize she had a sliver of doubt about selling Dorothy’s house.

  “I thought you should know that Dorothy left you the house in hopes you would return to Riverview.”

  Jemini nodded. She had already come to that conclusion, but the truth was Dorothy didn’t know the person Jemini had become. “She wouldn’t have done that if she’d known me.”

  Stephanie frowned. “What does that mean?”

  “It means just what I said. Dorothy didn’t know me.”

  She could see the confusion on Stephanie’s face, but she wasn’t ready to say the words out loud. Telling anyone that her grandmother wouldn’t love her because of the way she chose to live her life wasn’t an easy statement.

  “How can I convince you Riverview is great place to live?”

  “That’s really not open to discussion. My life is in Tennessee. I’m not going to move here.” Jemini knew her answer was brusque, but she was getting sick of everyone just assuming she would drop her life and move to Riverview.

  The glimpse of rage that flashed across Stephanie’s face made her take a step back. She didn’t know why she couldn’t have a normal conversation with her. Every time they met they engaged in a duel of words that neither of them seemed to win. Stephanie’s face was still flushed as she stepped off the porch and raised her arms in defeat.

  “I guess I’m wasting my time then.”

  She could hear the sadness in Stephanie’s voice and she remembered all the questions she wanted to ask. “What do you want from me, Stephanie?”

  “I want my friend back.”

  She watched Stephanie’s back as she climbed in her truck and roared away. It annoyed her to feel confused and intrigued at the same time.

  “I want my friend back.”

  Well, she couldn’t bring Dorothy back. No matter what she did with the house it wouldn’t change the fact that Dorothy had died, leaving them all in this precarious position. Stephanie was going to have to grow up and stop living in the past. She wasn’t going to feel sorry for her. Stephanie had gotten to live the life that should have been hers. She was the one who should have been raised by a grandmother who cared about her instead of living with haunting memories of a love that stopped in a second because of someone’s actions or beliefs. She had never seen it, but she knew love wasn’t supposed to be attached to things. It was supposed to be unconditional. Dorothy’s love hadn’t been.

  She slammed the door behind her as she entered the cabin. So much for getting Stephanie to answer her questions. She’d have to live without them. She pulled her cell phone from her pocket and dialed her office. Pressing it to her ear, she set her computer on the counter in front of her and opened her email. After listening to Karen’s sugary greeting, Jemini interrupted her.

  “Hey, Karen. Do you have the details for tomorrow yet?”

  “Yes, the judge will meet you in his chambers at one.”

  “In his chambers? Not in the courtroom?”

  “Apparently they’re bringing the kids too.”

  “Did something happen?”

  “Not that I’m aware of.”

  “Okay. I’ll call around and see if I can find something out.”

  “Let me know if you need anything from me. When are you coming back?”

  She sighed. When was she going home? She had been adamant that Riverview wasn’t her home and that she wouldn’t stay longer than she needed to. Now she seemed to be having trouble pulling herself away from a place she hadn’t wanted to come to in the first place. “I’ll swing by the office about noon before I head over to the courthouse.”

  “You’re still in the boonies?”

  “I am, but I’m trying to wrap things up.” Am I really?

  “Okay. See you tomorrow.”

  She disconnected from Karen and dialed a friend in the dispatcher’s office. All emergency calls went through there. Darren would know if something criminal or medical had happened. While she waited for him to answer, she tried to think what she should do before leaving Riverview tomorrow. She realized she wanted to go to Dorothy’s house. She wanted to reminisce one last time before she erased Dorothy from her mind forever.

  Besides, Mr. Cross had said they would throw everything out when the house sold and that felt wrong to her. Someone who cared about Dorothy should go through her stuff and sort it. Jemini was a little bit surprised that Stephanie hadn’t asked to do so. Maybe she already had. It seemed reasonable that Stephanie or Dorothy’s tenants would have a key to her place too. She would stop by and talk with them. Even if they didn’t want to sort anything, they should have the opportunity to take a keepsake. The truth was she wanted to meet them. She wanted to put faces with names. Maybe she would find Stephanie too and they could try again to talk about why she was so angry.

  “Hey, Darren. Were the police or EMS dispatched to the Watson house again?” she asked when she was routed to his desk.

  “Jemini. It’s good to talk with you, too. I’ve been fine. Thanks for asking.”

  “Sorry. I’m in a hurry.”

  “You’re always in a hurry. Let me check the logs.”

  She listened as his fingers flitted across the keys. Darren was one of the few people in her life she could count on. Granted he didn’t provide anything more than work-related information, but he always came through for her.

  “I don’t see anything. No, wait. Not dispatched for what you’d think. The kids showed up at their parents’ house and Mrs. Watson called the police to pick them up.”

  “Crap. I guess they ran from the state home back to their parents. I was afraid that would happen what with the judge
taking so long to hear their case.”

  “It looks like after some tears they returned willingly. Good thing Mrs. Watson called. Keeping them would have really hurt her case.”

  “Yep. Thanks, Darren.”

  “Call me sometime when you’re not in a hurry and only want to use me for information.”

  Jemini smiled as she pressed the disconnect button. She was pretty sure Darren was gay, but just in case he wasn’t she was careful not to encourage him. Thinking of not encouraging someone made her think of Robin. Glancing at her watch, she dialed Robin’s cell. Hopefully she could catch her between hospital shifts.

  “Jemini. Are you back in town?” Robin asked without a greeting.

  Surprisingly, Robin sounded happy to hear from her. She wondered if she was about to make a mistake. Robin never put any relationship pressure on her. She was free to come and go and to work as much as she wanted. Past girlfriends usually were sick of her schedule after the first week—one of the many reasons she didn’t stay with anyone very long. Work always came first even if someone was holding dinner at home for her. She couldn’t remember ever wanting to drop anything and hurry home. In fact, she wasn’t really sure she knew where home was.

  She took a deep breath before telling Robin the truth. She couldn’t help but wonder if this would be the time she objected to her schedule. “No. It’s taking longer than I expected here.”

  “I was off yesterday and had nothing to do.”

  She should have known Robin’s self-interest would be the only response she received. She hated being made to feel guilty. “I’m sure you figured something out.”

  “Well, yeah. Mary and some friends came by, so I went out with them.”

  Jemini was reminded again how incompatible she and Robin were. Their busy schedules was the draw in the beginning. She had been sick of being hounded for never coming home, and when she met Robin, an emergency room nurse, who worked sixteen-hour shifts five or six days a week, it had seemed like an ideal match. She had discovered quickly that Robin liked to party on her days off, but at the time having an occasional girlfriend for company had seemed okay.

  “So why did you call if you’re not back in town?” she heard Robin ask.

  I’m not sure. “It might be a while longer before I can return.” She wasn’t sure why she didn’t mention that she would be returning the next day for court. She could have stayed at her condo with Robin, but was thinking instead about returning in time for the cookout. Which meant that she actually did know why she didn’t mention it. She didn’t want to make time to see Robin. She would go and do what she had to do and then return to Riverview.

  “Okay. Well, call me when you get back into town.”

  She listened to the empty line before clicking her phone off. Robin wasn’t girlfriend material; she needed to end things between them. Breaking up over the phone was not her style, but she dialed Robin’s number again anyway.

  “What now?”

  “Why are you being so short with me?” she asked, irritated that Robin’s attitude made her feel defensive and wondering if Robin could sense her real reason for calling.

  “I didn’t get much sleep last night, and if I can finish here quickly I might catch a nap before the night gets crazy.”

  “Okay. I’m sorry. I just wanted to clear things up between us in case I don’t come back for a while.”

  Robin was silent for a minute and she hoped she was interpreting her meaning.

  “That’s fine,” Robin finally said.

  “Okay, good.”

  “Good night.”

  She found herself listening to the dial tone again.

  After a quick shower, she climbed in her car and went in search of food. She didn’t think she could stand another meal at the diner with everyone watching her so she settled instead for a soggy convenience store tuna fish sandwich and chips. Sitting in her car while she ate, she watched the grass-covered commons in the center of town. It was fairly busy this sunny afternoon and she was fascinated to note that everyone stopped to talk to each other. She wondered if she walked across the circle if anyone would stop to talk with her.

  Around the circle was a scattering of 1800s and 1900s buildings. A large red brick building stretched the length of one side with a simple explanation of its purpose written across the white trim over the white pillars: “Restaurant, Bar, Lodging.” Simple yet elegant. The next building was slightly more modern with white siding and huge glass windows. Berkeley County Bank was engraved at the top. Underneath that was a smaller sign announcing which chain bank currently held possession. Other small businesses dotted the circle, including a beauty shop, a pet store, the lawyer’s office, the real estate office, and an electronics store. Of course, somewhere nearby would be a hardware store. Something small that the locals used. A larger chain one would be outside of town near the Walmart.

  She liked that Riverview had maintained its quaint status. Over the years, the town had refused to give up its historic personality. Remembering Kathleen’s history tale from that morning, she wondered about her grandfathers. She had stopped thinking about her past being attached to Dorothy’s a long time ago, but now that she knew her family had helped to make this town what it was today she felt a sense of pride as she looked around. This was her town. She could stay and make a home here. If Cassie and Kathleen were any indication, then a lesbian wouldn’t be run out of town, and with Dorothy gone there was no one left for her to disgrace.

  She tossed her trash into a can on the street and entered the lawyer’s office. The same receptionist sat at the desk.

  “Is Mr. Cross in?”

  “He’s in a meeting right now. Can I relay a message for you?”

  “I would like to have the keys to Dorothy, uh, Ms. Rivers’ house?”

  “Sure. Just a minute.”

  She paced the small carpeted room while she waited. She wasn’t sure what she planned to do and she wasn’t sure she was happy with herself for doing it. Standing outside with the sun shining on her, she had allowed herself to consider making this town her home. Now reality was sinking in and that idea seemed crazy. Rather than walk out now, though, and look even crazier, she would wait for the receptionist to return. Seeing the inside of Dorothy’s house and meeting the tenants was still on her list of things to do. The receptionist returned a few minutes later and handed her a ring with several keys attached.

  “He said to remind you about the tenants if you’re going out to the house.”

  She nodded. How could she forget about the people that she could end up evicting from their homes? If she did nothing else in this town, she would make sure that those people weren’t made homeless.

  Chapter Six

  Jemini retrieved the bags from her second stop at the convenience store from the seat beside her and slid from the car. She needed comfort food, and the store had provided chips, candy, chocolate, and several bottles of Dr. Pepper. Remembering the curtain moving on the right side and assuming that one was occupied, she juggled the bags as she unlocked the door on the left side of the porch. As the door opened, she was instantly bombarded by memories of the past. Even after twenty years, Dorothy’s living room appeared the same, including the rocking chair where they had rocked together. The smell of cookies baking was so strong she went into the kitchen to make sure there weren’t any in the oven. She dropped her bags on the kitchen table, pulling open a plastic container of Gummy Worms. Grabbing three floppy fruit-flavored gummies, she began walking through the house.

  There were a few changes but nothing big. She allowed herself to remember her childhood memories. Feelings of comfort and warmth flooded through her and she saw the house through the eyes of a child. Dorothy’s laughter flowed as she reminded Jemini to wipe her feet at the door before bringing her latest find into the house. A pine cone, a rock that looked like something cool, or maybe even an insect. Nothing was turned away from Dorothy’s examination. If it was living, she was told to return it to where she found it, but
the non-living items always found a place of honor within the house.

  A knock on the door startled her and she pulled the door open without looking. Stephanie stood on the porch, grinning. Jemini waved the remaining Gummy Worms at her. “If you’re just here to fight with me, don’t bother. I’ve had enough for today.”

  Stephanie dropped her head, giving her a contrite look. “I’m sorry. I do seem to have difficulty controlling my temper around you.”

  “Want to tell me why?”

  “No, counselor. I’m not here to visit our past. I’m here to invite you to dinner.”

  Jemini took a bite of her Gummy Worm and chewed slowly. “And why would I want to dine with you?”

  “Well, it’s not with me. It’s with Ms. Agnes next door. I have to work.”

  “Why didn’t she come invite me herself?”

  “I think she might be afraid of you.”

  Jemini frowned, but it quickly faded as she followed Stephanie’s gaze to the Gummy Worms in her hand. Violently, she bit another one in half and swallowed it. “As she should be.”

  Stephanie laughed. “You’re still a little crazy, aren’t you? So what should I tell Ms. Agnes?”

  She dropped into a nearby chair. “I don’t know.” She had been enjoying the banter with Stephanie, but now the seriousness of the situation once again was sinking in on her. She had wanted to meet the tenants, but now that idea didn’t seem so good. What had Dorothy told them about her? Or about her mother?

  Stephanie stepped in front of her and reached out her hand. “Come meet her and if you aren’t sure, you can bow out gracefully.”

  She stared at Stephanie’s outstretched hand and slowly reached her hand up to meet it. Stephanie wrapped their fingers together and warmth spread through her. She caught her breath and pushed aside any romantic feelings. Stephanie wasn’t a lesbian. She couldn’t be. She had spent her life with Dorothy, so that couldn’t have happened.